Chapter 21

"Remind me to either bunk with you guys when we check into a hotel or put a permanent ban on Brian eating burritos after six in the evening," Kim said the next day. "Good thing this is a no-smoking hotel, because if anyone lit a match in there last night, the whole place would have blown. I'm even surprised I didn't get asphyxiated overnight from the stench."

"Lord knows I haven't dealt with that before over the years," Paul said, rolling his eyes.

"Likeyou never fart, PL," Brian called from the other room after he'd come in. "I can tell stories."

"Come to think of it, not very often he does pass gas," Lana responded. "I've finally got my boss trained."

"Me, trained? Never! And speaking of rooms, damn Chester ruins them. I have to pay for the room and the cat damage every time. Fucking Brian, 'I forgot my Mastercard' Psh. I always get stuck with shit," Paul said.

"Kim and I have told you a dozen times, go have her cut a check from his business account to reimburse you instead of sitting around whining about it."

"Are you going to nag me again? Christ, you're worse than a wife."

"Thanks, it's part of the job that you pay me for, remember?" Lana grinned.

"Besides, someone has to keep you boys in line. And speaking of which, Brian, when the hell did you get back?" Kim wondered.

"What, there's a fucking thing where I have to report in now? Last time I checked, I was your boss, Kimberly."

"I was just asking. Geez, is it your time of the month or something?"

"Very funny. Anyway, the time we got to be at the arena's been changed to six thirty."

"Thanks," Lana replied. "but did they say why?"

"Nope, just pushed it back an hour. Did you fix the pants I want to wear down there tonight, Kim?"

"Yes, dear," Kim rolled her eyes. "Talk about someone that's worse than a wife. And I brought the stuff you wanted at the store too. It's on the front table."

"Whoa, you even got the right kind of Cheetos, girl! I think you need a raise."

"I needed a raise a year and a half ago; where have you been?"

"Ha ha. No, honestly, we need to discuss that when we get back home."

Kim stopped short, looking over at the other two in shock before responding, "Are you serious?"

"Hey, anyone that can put up with me for a year and a half is worthy of one, even if they did make me half deaf yesterday with a damn air horn."

"Air horn?" Paul wondered.

"It was the only thing I could think of to get his lazy ass out of bed to meet you guys on time," Kim clarified.

"Gee, and I thought Lana targeting me with a water gun was bad. I think I'll take the lesser of the two evils."

"I'm telling you, PL, she's trying to kill me."

"Yet you want to give her a raise," Paul laughed. "Okay, dude."

Suddenly the room went dark, causing Lana to snort in disgust.

"Brian, will you please quit fooling around with the switches? Some of us are trying to work here. You're lucky I saved what I got done, or you'd really be catching hell."

"Sounds like your ass is grass and Lana is the lawnmower, Spanky."

"Sorry, Red. I thought PL was looking at porn again," Brian apologized.

"Ha! That's more your department, dude," Paul retorted.

"Yeah, you can say that again, especially when I see the Visa bill every month," Kim added.

"I didn't ask anything out of the smart ass section," Brian said.

"Just stating the facts, dear," Kim replied.

Paul looked over at Lana. "Is it just me or do those two bicker like an old married couple?"

"It's not just you," she smiled, then added lowly, "I'm beginning to wonder if they're crushing on each other and won't admit it."

"Come to think of it, Spanky does need someone besides me to give him a stiff kick in the ass once in awhile."

"Well, she'd certainly be good for that for sure."

Brian came in the room, tossing down a soda before he let out a loud belch. Both Paul and Lana shot him a dirty look.

"What?" he asked.

"Jesus, Brian. Were you brought up in a barn?" Lana asked.

"Be thankful he didn't fart," Kim replied. "Otherwise, we'd have to call in the HAZMAT crew."

"Shut up," Brian said, tossing the empty can at her. "Anyway, I got to piss."

"TMI," Paul responded. "And close the fucking door this time. There's ladies present."

"Kim's considered a lady? Wow, I must have missed that memo."

"Bite me, Brian," Kim shot back.

"God, I feel like I'm traveling with Ricky Ricardo and the Mertzes," Lana said, shaking her head. "One thing about you three, there's never a dull moment."