PART 1 - MORGANA
Chapter 1 - Death
Fall of 710 d. C.
My chest burns. It burns as if an indissoluble fire has invaded my body and began consuming it. What is happening to me?
Merlin ... he has been so strange ... his subtle hints throughout the day, the accusatory tone. He had never talked to me like that before. It's not in his character. He is always gentle and sweet. Is it somehow a consequence of the peculiar events that have occurred? The vain attempts to save his lord of the disease that seems to want devour us all? Strangely, I haven't felt any symptoms… Could that be the cause of this strange feeling?
With every second my breathing seems to pick up its pace, and a feeling of anxiety begins to grow within me. Something does not fit with what is unfolding around me. I don't know what to think.
However, my friend is still with his back turned on me, not wanting to look me in the eyes, or not being able to do it. He seems to try to cover up his face to stop me from reading his expression… he insisted so much on me drinking the water. My eyes linger in the canteen of skin he had given me and then they go back to fix on Merlin. He turns to face me. The horror installs and.. suddenly ... I know ... it all becomes clear ... the fire burning in my chest ...the water ... poison ... Merlin?
Why would he do something like that? He has always been my friend. I trusted him! I entrusted him with my secret, my true identity, my life. Something I didn't allow anyone else to know, just him!
I feel like screaming, cry out for help, and, however, I know that nothing, nor anyone, will be able to help me.
Confusion… hurt… and panic swallow every inch of my soul. Do I still have it, I think with anguish. In the last few hours the sensation that fills me is that of my soul being sold to the devil. But, at the same time, Morgause seemed to care deeply for me...
I can't think anymore. Now each fibber of my body is inflamed. I start mentally begging for my salvation.
I'm scared like I've never been before, not even when I thought I would end in a stake, a spectacle for the amusement of the public. It amazes me how this scenario has me still petrified.
No, I don't want to die! And yet, I sense death is approaching, ruthless and thirsty. Eager for me, my body, my whole being.
My vision is distorted, everything is getting cloudy. I have to fight to keep my eyes open and focus my last strength to free myself from Merlin's arms, which now hold me tightly against his chest. I wish he'd remove his hands off me. He betrayed me… and the pain from it is excruciating, extolling in me a furious desire for revenge.
What more does he want from me? Is it not enough to have me poisoned, does he still need to try to strangle me?
I want him to move away, I want him far away from me, but with my weak arms I can no longer find the strength to push him off.
The movements don't obey me, but the burning sensation has passed at last. The fire in me extinguished, which enabled my mind to return to consciousness.
The images turn suddenly dark and I know I am dying. The inevitable aproaches.
Unable to resist, I sink in his embrace and, surprisingly enough, I feel at ease, as if he was trying to vanquish my pain instead of making my death come quicker.
Some of my senses remain... I am still able to hear the sound of steel blades clashing against each other in an endless battle. We all know that spectres cannot die. Oh Arthur, do you continue fighting even though there is no hope? The tipical and eternal Arthur, willing to sacrifice himself for us all. Does he know what Merlin intended to do to me? Had he supported him?
And behold, when I thought that nothing more could hurt me, this simple thought destroys me. To think that Arthur would betray me, even when I myself had already betrayed him many times, is terrifying. That panic paralyzes me. No! A betrayal from him would be more than I can bear.
I desperately look for something in the memories of this day to let me see his expression. He says he can tell every time I lie. This line of thought makes me smile, and at some other time I would have felt victorious knowing that I know him even better. I was always capable of reading him so well. The perpetual game between us, although the rules that defined it have long since been lost.
At that moment, I get the response I longed for. Arthur had nothing to do with what's happening to me and this assurance brings me peace, it fills me with some last shreds of happiness.
Now all that's left for me to do is to resign and embrace death...
I hear a crash, the noise of a door being knocked down and hurried steps towards me.
Someone tears me from Merlin's arms and holds me, with such affection that I almost cried, if it were still possible for me. This scent ... I recognize it.
Morgause touches my face. Tenderly. She pulls her face closer to mine and I feel something transcendent. A memory. A familiarity in that gesture.
The memory fades before I can identify it and I focus on the words exchanged between Merlin and Morgause.
"How dare you, boy? Tell me, what have you done to her? "The imperative tone of Morgause shattered and echoes in the old walls of the ample room like a thunder.
"You forced me into it! I didn't wish to do it ... " Merlin's voice sounded uncertain. I hear it for the first time after the poisoning. I feel his frustration, his resentment and, especially, the guilt. Morgause trembles at those words but I am unable to predict her movements.
"Give me the name of the poison! Give it to me so I can still save her!"
It will not do, the poison has seeped through my veins and contaminated the circulating blood. I know it, but it comforts me that at least someone is willing to rescue me from death, although I can't understand what motivates her to care so much for my life. However, despite knowing it is useless, hope emerges.
Is it possible to cheat death? Can some magic bring me back to life?
If somehow it happens, I will make Merlin pay dearly for this betrayal. Even if it's the last thing I'll ever do, I want to see him suffer, I want to hear him beg for mercy. And he shall have none.
"Not before you withdraw the curse over Camelot!" Merlin has finally begun to argue convincingly. Suddenly, my life seems no more than a business whose price is debatable.
Instinctively and against my will, I come to fear for the life of the one I considered my most loyal friend until a moment ago.
Nevertheless, there is something intriguing me. It surprises me the courage which he, a mere servant of the prince, faces a powerful sorceress. As if he didn't fear her magic. Nobody in their full state of mind dares to threaten a priestess of the ancient religion, unless ... unless your power equals hers.
Another outburst of sound arises without letting me finish the thought, and the explosion of events around me makes me quickly forget the subject which rose my indignation.
My attention flies to those last words in search of its hidden meaning. I had listened to the truth, which I suspected and regretted at once.
The thoughts go once again to that night in the forest of Baloch. My impulsive nature had propelled me to the meeting with Morgause and made me sign an alliance with her against Uther Pendragon. I promised to help her annihile him along with his power over the kingdom, putting an end to the tyranny that plagues Camelot, without even being sure if I could trust the blond witch and her intentions.
In God's name, what was I thinking? I had seen her no more than twice and even so I put my family and my fate in her hands.
I did not dare. Arthur confided me his sword and left me alone with Uther this same afternoon. It would have been so easy to have killed him then. A simple swipe of the sword and everything would be finished. But what I felt for the man leaning on the table in front of me, the lifeless body and dull eyes, the same man that once embraced me, was a profound pity.
The second I looked and saw not the tyrant king, but a common man at my mercy, all the hate was gone. The next moment, I was at his side, dominated by a filial primitive instinct. Ready to defend him in case someone came up indecorously by the door. In a surprising ending, the killer forgets his purpose and chooses to protect his victim. It's indeed a strange irony.
On the other hand, Morgause has not been honest with me. I never meant for the population of Camelot to be decimated so abruptly. Seeing people who were... are… dear to me getting sick was truly terrifying. And knowing that I was the responsible, that I was the source of the curse that had taken over the city, makes the situation unbearably worse. To be truthful, I had never imagined the consequences of my actions. I acted dominated by revenge and by that alone.
Perhaps it's for the best if everything ends this way, I couldn't live with the guilt. At least now, I'll somehow pay for the pain I caused. Besides, no one has learned who truly was behind it all, or so I hope. Merlin knows the truth, I don't know how he discovered it, but he does know. However, he'll not say a word about it, in that I know I can trust him. He won't have arguments to justify his own actions towards me, because, in the eyes of Uther, I'm still the Lady of Camelot and he's just Arthur's servant. His word doesn't count for anything.
Yes, it is cowardice, but I don't want to depart this life with everyone's hate turned on me and with my death, the truth will die too.
I'm now too tired to form any other coherent thoughts.
The sounds become increasingly elusive, until the door of the room is swept once more and I hear his voice asking for his father. His attention then sets on my presence by pronouncing my name.
I force my eyelids to open up one last time but it's useless. I won't see Arthur or Camelot ever again.
Then, I finally dive into darkness, a vastness of emptiness and loneliness.
Next chapter: Memories from the past
So, how was it? Did you find Morgana too evil? Too mellow? :s
Don´t worry if you find this completely different from the prologue, in the next chapter you´ll understand better.
Please please review so I´ll know if you enjoyed it :)