Sam got up and went to sit on her couch feeling embarrassment clench in her breast and like a total fool for mis-reading the situation. Man he must think I am a total nutcase. UGH! How am I even going to begin to face him at work tomorrow? Sam hears a knock at the door and dread washes over her. Please do not be him. She contemplates not answering at all but that would be childish. The knock became insistent.
"Sam" Open up It's me Maxi!
Sam breathed a sigh of relief. She opened the door. Maxi took in the silky robe and disheveled hair and grinned evilly.
"Wow did I interrupt something?" Let me just leave.
"NO! Maxi don't be ridiculous, I was just in the hot tub"...
Maxi rolled her eyes." Sam what is the use of having a hot tub if you don't bring something pretty home to play in it with?" Maxi, I already told you I am through playing with *pretty things*. I have to get my business off the ground and I would just rather be alone. Too much hassle involved with being involved.
"Well for being in the hot tub, you sure don't look relax. See now if you would have had some hotness in there you would be totally Zen right now", maxi giggled.
Maxi I am going to kill you one of these days. I was relaxing with Gabriel came over.
"OHHHH tell me more" Maxi squealed.
"Please, it was a nightmare. I totally overreacted and accused the guy of wanting to bed me right here on my living room floor. Now I feel completely mortified. He only wanted to return my phone. He was being nice and I insulted him."
"Well Sam why did you accuse him of that? Did he do something?
"No, he just looked at me. I guess he liked what he saw. It annoyed me. Men have always looked at me like I am meat. Always treated me like that also. I guess I just went on the defensive and snapped. He looked at me as if I were insane. I mean what why would he want me. He knows about my past. ALL of it. I am surprised he actually wanted to work with me. "
"Damn Sam could you just stop! "
Sam looked up shocked. "What?."
"The pity role you play. You made mistakes, bad mistakes. It happened. The only person who is holding on to them is you. You have given control of your self to others and what they feel and think. I have messed up many times but I accept that and just go on because if I don't I become an emotional cripple. Sam as much as I love you that is what you are becoming. Afraid to be you, Afraid to fall in love, Afraid to do anything because you might feel something and that can't happen. I don't want that for you Sam, You deserve more than that. Stop being a coward and just let go and live. "
"Maxi you don't understand. I have done that, I took a chance and it tore me apart. I did again and while it hurt less, I just can't put another piece of me out there for someone to tear apart and throw back. I can't do that.
"Well Sam maxi got up handing her the wine she brought as a gift. I hope for your sake, that heart you have so sheltered, takes the choice right out of your hands.