CHAPTER3 – morning after
Bright light flitted in between the curtains of Neville's four-poster bed. He groaned as he turned his face into his pillow to block out the light and what was becoming a rather belligerent headache. He didn't want to think about anything for a while. Thinking hurt, literally. He remembered the firewhiskey and Dean's collection of muggle alcohol from last night and groaned again.
"Neville, are you up?" Harry's voice rang out against the calm quiet of the Gryffindor dorm room, and Neville shuddered.
"Yes," Neville grumbled, as he pulled back the curtains in the direction of Harry's voice using his foot. "What time is it?"
"It's past 2. You've missed lunch, to the displeasure of about everyone in the world. You're just lucky I was around to sate them." Harry was grinning as his head peaked into the curtains, and then instantly pulled back out. "Merlin Neville! You smell like shit."
"Do you have..."
"Here," Harry interrupted, handing Neville a clear potion in a small glass as he pulled back all of Neville's curtains. "Seriously get up, even Ron got up at least two hours ago."
Neville drained the potion without thinking, and instantly regretted it. "Fuck you, Harry," he said with a grimace as Harry erupted in laughter, falling back on his bed and spreading out.
"Hey don't blame me, mate." Harry continued working on suppressing his laughter as he talked. "You know what they say about more alcohol being the best cure for a hangover. Well, at least that's what Seamus said. And he did it to everyone, including me, so you can't expect me to be going easy on you, my liege." Harry grinned at Neville as he caught his breathe.
Neville sighed and slowly stood up off his bed. "Please, no more vodka. Ever." He shook his head violently to get rid of his headache, unsuccessfully, as he pulled off his shirt. "You're right, everything about me smells horrid. Oh and by the way, I'm not joking about the sobering potion. Give it to me or I might start drunkenly swinging my sword around," Neville deadpanned.
"Here." Harry handed him the correct potion and Neville quickly consumed it. "I took two of those and still feel like shit. Doesn't work half as good as the stuff Fred and George developed."
Both boys looked a little downcast at the mention of Fred. "I liked him, you know," Neville began. "Even though they would try to test their products on me, and I was an easy target for their fun, they didn't exclude me at least. Which is better than most people."
"Yeah they were good guys. You know George lost an ear? He looks kinda bizarre now, to be honest. Must be painful"
"Makes me realize how lucky I got. I mean, I barely sustained an injury last night, nothing that couldn't be cleared up in two minutes by a good mediwitch."
Harry suddenly laughed. "Yeah, and what about me? I fuckin' died last night. Voldemort performed the killing curse right in front of me, with Death Eaters watching, and somehow I'm still here."
"What in Merlin's name was that all about? Voldemort told us you were dead, and he was convinced, I know. He was so happy it sickened me." Neville quickly changed into muggle jeans and a simple green t-shirt as he talked.
"I don't know. I had to die, you know. I was one of his horcruxes, so to kill him I had to die. I guess the prophecy kept me alive, somehow. We live in a world of magic after all."
Neville looked puzzled as he slid his socks on. "That's not magic, that's like divine intervention. Coming back to life is something that isn't even dreamed of in our world, except by bloodthirsty dark lords."
"It's told to happen in muggle history. I mean, in their religions, which is total hogwash, but maybe wizards can do it. Honestly Neville, sometimes I think that there's more magic in the muggle world than in ours." Harry closed his eyes as he lay back on his bed, waiting for Neville.
"Why do you say that?"
"The moon."
"Pardon?"
"Can wizards make it to the moon?"
"You mean you believe the stories that muggles walked on the moon?"
"Well yes. They have the technology to do so at least. They've been to space hundreds of times. They have a huge laboratory or something up there. And I haven't even talked to you about the internet."
"I know what the internet is."
"Pretty amazing isn't it?"
"I guess. I don't really get it. Are you still drunk?"
Harry sighed as he got up to stretch his legs. "It's amazing stuff actually. Makes you wonder if Voldemort could actually take on so many muggles if the wizarding world decided to forgo the Statute of Secrecy."
Neville shrugged. "Why are we even talking about muggles? I'm famished, come on lets go downstairs."
Harry laughed as he fell back down onto his bed. "Hey mate, don't underestimate the muggles or you might find yourself becoming the next dark lord."
Neville grimaced at the potential irony as he walked towards the door. "Well, are you coming?"
"No, I already ate. And I suggest you stay away from downstairs as well, it's a media swarm. Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly and Wizarding Today and Merlin knows what else. I almost died again when I went to breakfast, and lunch I just had in the common room."
"Oh." Neville made his way back to the bed.
"Woobles! Minky! Dinky! Winky! Ah, that did it." A small, female house-elf appeared in front of Harry, glowing with joy, as she bent down in a deep down and smiled widely.
"Yes, Harry Potter sir, what can Winky do for you for a second time today?" She barely held in her excitement with the practiced discipline of serving her Master first and foremost.
"Yes, Winky. Can you get some lunch for Neville here? And something to drink? Butterbeer? No, not butterbeer." He looked towards Neville.
"Eh, some water and some pumpkin juice will be good, thanks."
"Yes sirs! Winky is so happy to serve you, master hero and master king!" And with that she disappeared in a flash.
Neville grimaced at the nicknames, burying his head in his face. Harry, on the other hand, could only laugh.
"You'll have to tell me about that one. From what I've heard so far, there are some pretty amazing stories about the DA this past year."
"Yes, I'll tell you, once I get something to eat. It wasn't a big deal though, nothing compared to what you three did."
"Nonsense, Neville. From what I've heard, you guys almost died, multiple times. And you drove Snape and the Carrows crazy. Never mind the Sword of Gryffindor and how you guys fought last night. If I had known that, we all should have just stormed Voldemort's evil lair with the Order like how usual dark lords are killed," Harry laughed. Neville joined him in laughter, leaning back on his own bed and just relaxing in the atmosphere. Getting drunk with Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean last night had definitely loosened everything up, and he was glad he could forget the happenings of the last few days for now.
Winky appeared and dropped off his food, with a few gracious words of honor and messages from the house elves "slaving away in the kitchen for the sake of our most noble, most brave, most handsome, most strong, most kind, most amazing Masters." Though most of Winky's words were directed at Harry, Neville got a few glances as well and found himself feeling pretty good after that, despite his usual aversion to praise of that matter.
"So what happened to Snape?" Neville spoke up first as he began to attack his food.
"He's alive, but he's in a bad state. Barely alive, I should say. Physically paralyzed, so he might not be able to walk, depending on how bad it is. Even certain states of paralysis cannot be cured by magic, though most spine injuries are usually dealt with successfully, according to Madam Pomfrey. Also, mentally he's not really there. They believe the Cruciatus curse is to blame, though there's no way he could have been exposed to it for that long so there's something weird going on there."
"So pretty much he's a vegetable, kinda like my parents," Neville said quietly. He felt a twinge of despair for the sake of Professor Snape, something he would have thought unimaginable years ago.
Harry stayed quiet, not knowing how to respond.
"I'm glad he was on our side, despite everything and how I hated him."
"Yea, me too," replied Harry. "I can't forgive him for what he's done to Dumbledore, even if they planned it or whatever. But I want to see him get better, then never see him again."
Neville nodded and went on to his tomato soup, having finished his sandwich.
"Anyways, Neville, I wanted to ask you about something?"
"Yeah?" Neville nodded again, not looking up.
"...About Ginny." Harry watched Neville curiously as he dropped his spoon into his soup and quickly fished it out, stumbling a little on his next words.
"What about h-her, Harry?" Neville's face had already been red from eating the hot soup so fast, as he knew tended to happen to him, but he also knew that if he hadn't been red before, he would be now.
Harry held out a piece of paper with scraggly handwriting that was barely readable. Neville took it and read, face flushing violently: 'NevilleGinnysex?' Then Harry talked, a little slower than before: "Well, I can't remember much from last night but I know this is my handwriting, so I must have written it last night. Most likely to remind myself to ask you about it today..." he trailed off, eyeing Neville carefully.
"Honestly, I don't remember anything from last night either. Well, since Dean arrived with all his muggle alcohol... Did I mention something last night?" Neville went back to his soup to try to maintain an inkling of calm. Honestly, facing Voldemort again would be nice about now. Well, maybe not, but its close.
"You must have," Harry said tartly.
Neville sighed. When in doubt, stick to the truth, right? "Yes, once."
"Yes what? You slept with her?" Harry couldn't tell if he was angry or not. His voice definitely did not sound angry, but he definitely felt a little hurt.
Neville looked up right at Harry. "Sorry, mate. It was the night before a pretty dangerous mission. We both thought we were going to die anyway. It was my fault, Harry, and I'm sorry. Not sorry that we survived, of course not, but that's the situation that was handed to us. She asked me about my regrets, I told her that as cliché as it sounds I didn't look forward to dying a virgin, she said 'me too', and so I t-took her to the R-Room of Requirements. For some reason there was butterbeer there, and so we indulged, and it just happened."
Harry remained silent, but had pulled his eyes away from Neville's and was inspecting his shoes very carefully.
"I'm sorry Harry, but it didn't mean anything. I mean we're good friends, but she loves you Harry." Neville found himself feeling calm as he explained himself. It wasn't his fault that Harry disappeared for the year and left her alone to fear for his life. "You left her, Harry, and she was angry at you. She was irate, because she loved you and wanted to be by your side, even if it was her death."
"I was not going to bring her with me when it was so likely that we wouldn't survive!" Harry yelled, but quickly sat back down on his bed.
"I know, and you did the right thing. I wouldn't put her in that position either if I could."
"I was already sick with myself for bringing Ron and Hermione with me. I wouldn't forgive myself if something had happened to them, and to bring her along would have been too much."
"Yes, you're right," Neville said quietly, not knowing if he actually believed that.
"What would you have done?"
"Huh? Me?" Neville said, surprised.
"Yes, if you were in my situation, what would you have done," Harry repeated, a bit forcefully.
"I don't know. I'm not you, Harry, I probably would have died the first day out there by myself, probably would have slipped on something and fallen in front of a muggle car or something..." Neville trailed off quietly.
"I don't care what stupid way you would have killed yourself! I'm asking, if Ginny asked to go with you, would you have let her?"
"Uhh," Neville hesitated for a second, unsure if he should tell the truth or not. "Well, it's different Harry. I need Ginny if I want any chance. You have no idea how much she did for the DA this past year. Without her..."
Harry remained quiet, contemplating Neville's words and waiting for him to continue.
"Without her I would have died this year, I know that. And the reverse is true, too. I need her Harry, if I'm going to try something like you did, just like you needed Ron and Hermione. So to answer your question, yes, I would have taken her." Neville sighed, looking down at his cold soup to avoid Harry's furious eyes.
"Yea, but what if you loved her?"
"Huh?" Neville felt his face reddening again and quickly feigned a yawn, making time for himself. "How would I know? I'd probably want her to be where it's safe, but I don't know. Not that Hogwarts was really all that safe, actually, but if I loved her... I have no idea, Harry. Can you please stop asking me these questions?"
Harry sighed, turning away from Neville to look out the window. "You see, it's a hopeless situation. I had to leave her here."
"I don't envy you Harry. But you did it. She's yours now, Harry, she still loves you."
"Neville, you slept with her."
"That was meaningless."
"Still, I don't like it." Harry muttered.
"Of course you don't, another guy shagged your girl when you were off doing Merlin-knows-what and risking your life. But you have to understand, it wasn't easy for us here either. A lot of people broke down; we were all still kids after all. We were having to watch our classmates suffer, writhing in pain, when it was our mission that caused it, our instructions that they were following. We can wish all we want to suffer for them, but it's not enough. Harry, we were the leaders. Me and Ginny and Luna. There was no hope in that castle when the Death Eaters took control. We had to suffer, and watch other members of the DA suffer, to bring that hope back, so we could get by. It wasn't about resisting or putting up a fight at first. It was about raising morale, so we could get by, and it wore us down Harry. So don't blame me, and definitely don't blame Ginny, for what happened that night. We were desperate for something other than the feeling of perpetual pain, and we were looking death in the face. We were just getting by, it was meaningless."
Neville concluded quietly, hearing his voice start to crack. Not everything he said was the truth, not for him at least. For him, it wasn't meaningless. It was what brought him to life, what revived him. It gave him the power to truly lead, to absorb the pain of his mates and expel it as hope and renewed energy. Neville knew that that one night with Ginny gave him all the meaning in the world.
"Don't worry about it," muttered Harry, barely audible to Neville's ears. He then got up and walked out of the room, leaving Neville alone to pick at his cold lunch.
At 5 o'clock, Neville finally forced himself to leave the confines of the 7th year boys dormitories. He wanted to see some familiar faces, to make sure for himself that they were all alright. He knew the DA had suffered casualties during the battle last night, and it broke his heart. But he had told them, right at the beginning, that there would be fatalities among their ranks. He had always thought it would be him, but still, everyone who had joined the Defense Association that past year had known the risks, and he was proud of every one of them.
Dennis Creevey was dead. Colin Creevey was unaccounted for and most likely dead. Padma Patil was in bad shape but alive. Lavender Brown was horribly disfigured, but alive. Michael Corner was suffering from spell damage, as were a handful of 4th year hufflepuffs. Megan whats-her-name was dead too, wasn't she? And there were more, these were just the ones he knew about before the final wave of Death Eaters had arrived. Oh yeah, and everyone was suffering from psychological damage.
Neville turned the corner outside the painting of the Fat Lady. He had managed to avoid the few people in the Gryffindor Common Room, but the paintings lining the halls would do no such thing. Neville ignored the multitudes of praise and the few words of scorn as he made his way towards Madam Pomfrey. He passes the library and looked in, hoping to maybe spot Luna, but it was mainly empty. A young couple was gathered at a desk, weepily looking through what was probably a picture album of some sort. Neville gave them a weak smile and hurried out.
Neville missed the comfort of Ginny's musical laugh and Luna's awkward honesty. Although there were a couple times he had wanted to throttle Luna due to embarrassment, he really grew to depend on her, and when she had disappeared he had almost broke. Ginny brought him back, and Neville had a suspicion that he had done the same for her. Ginny was the one who led the way for him, who made him see that even if there was no hope, even if despair was so thick in the air that it blinded him, they still had each other. They still had Luna and the DA and their families to fight for.
Ginny was like the sun, opening his eyes to the things he could do and needed to do. And her supple body, her small formed breasts, her firm, toned legs, her smooth arched back, her lashing tongue, her lightning brown eyes, and last of all, her fiery red hair, smoothed by sweat, streaming across her flushed and pleading face. Well, they were his raw energy, the electricity and heat that made him melt and soar, and that urged him to reach into the Sorting Hat on that fateful day and struggle.
Neville felt his face heating up as he thought of that night. Well, it did the trick. He didn't care if Harry was angry at him; Neville wasn't going to die a virgin anytime soon. He smiled at Professor Flitwick as he passed him in the hall, who was busy with a pile of papers taller than himself.
Finally he reached the medical ward and walked in quietly. It was crowded to the brim. Looking over the crowd, it was mostly students who had gotten hurt in the conflict and their families. Neville saw a couple people he recognized, but didn't slow himself down as he looked for the bed of Professor Snape. Saying a few hello's along the way, sluggishly shaking a few hands and hugging a few warm bodies, he finally found him at the end of the ward.
"Neville!" Hermione embraced him fiercely as Neville stumbled to hug her back, holding on tightly with relief at seeing his friend in safe circumstances after so long.
"Hi, Hermione."
She smiled at him as she took his hand and led him towards Snape's bed. "You've come to see Snape? That's great, because he's actually said your name couple times."
Neville frowned at seeing the frail man. "This is horrible Hermione. Have you been in here taking care of him the whole time?"
"Well, almost. Mcgonogall and other members of the Order come in here in turns. He doesn't really do much, so it's more boring than anything, but it is really sad." Hermione frowned as she shifted towards Neville, grabbing his hand again and squeezing it. "Anyways Neville, I have to say, you were spectacular last night."
Neville blushed as he directed his eyes away from Snape, saddened by how much his state reminded him of his parents. "Thanks." He didn't know what else to say, as he wasn't used to this. "Ron told me that you saved a lot of lives last night with your healing, and that you saved them tons of times while you were away, so you're more amazing Hermione."
It was her turn to blush as she released Neville's hand and moved a particularly annoying strand of her bushy hair away from her face. "Thanks. But I didn't take on Voldemort like you." She continued on before Neville could object. "Anyways, I wanted to see you because I wanted you to talk to Snape. Also, about a million people were looking for you." Hermione laughed as she looked back towards the bed.
Neville laughed half-heartedly as he stepped towards the bed. "Hi Professor," he began quietly. "It's me, Neville. Remember, you're favourite student?"
Hermione smiled as she put a hand on Neville's shoulder, urging him to continue.
Neville was used to making small talk with someone in his state, so he continued without any hesitation. "I just want to tell you that Hogwarts is safe, and you saved a lot of lives." Neville paused. "We're all really proud of you. I'm sorry, for thinking those horrible things about you. You're a real hero. Without you, us students wouldn't have been able to get through the year. It was your efforts that minimized our suffering and allowed us to train behind the Carrows' backs. Thank you." Then Neville took Snape's hand and carefully kissed it, and brought it back to his side.
Snape's eyes were open, dark eyes flickering from object to object in the distance. He found Neville's eyes and held on, not with the usual glare of authority and malice, but with the curious and fearful eyes of a child who had discovered a scary but tempting truth. "N-n...neville," he whispered.
"See, he says your name sometimes. Yours and Harry's," Hermione explained, tightening her grip on Neville's shoulders as she leaned forward.
Neville gulped as he leaned a little closer to Snape, maintaining firm eyes contact. "Yes, Professor?"
"N-n-n-neville...the horcrux..." Neville's face paled, as did Hermione's.
"What? What about the horcrux? What horcrux?" There was a tone of urgency in Neville's voice as he felt Hermione shuddering behind him, her nails digging into is shoulder.
"Neville... the horcrux..." Snape's eyelids began to close as Neville grabbed his hand, trying to urge him to talk. Once eye contact was broken, it was over. Snape re-opened his eyes and began to look around fervently, like before, perfectly calm.
Neville stepped back, bumping into Hermione, and they both sat down on chairs near the bed. "What was that all about?" hissed Hermione in a quiet whisper. "Horcrux? Neville, do you know—"
"Yes I know what a horcrux is, Hermione." Neville sighed as he looked at her. "And I don't know what he means, should we tell someone?"
"I don't know, it seems like pretty useless information to us now, since Voldemort is dead." Hermione paused to think as Neville looked at her blankly. "Hmm, maybe..."
"Yeah?"
"Well, it was Nagini that attacked him last right? Maybe he discovered that Nagini was a horcrux and that was his last thought or something? It makes sense actually."
Neville nodded. It definitely made some sense, and knowing Hermione, she was probably right. But still, there was that small doubt lingering in his mind somewhere, and Neville thought of little Tom Riddle, and Harry, and couldn't help but cringe.
"What is it Neville?"
"Nothing, I believe your idea. I was just imagining Snape at the mercy of Nagini."
Hermione made a comforting little sound and hugged Neville again. "Come on, let's go to dinner."
Neville nodded and tried to put on his best smile as they walked out of the medical wing towards the Great Hall. His eyes were bright and cheery as he talked with Hermione, but his thoughts were markedly different.
The words of little Tom Riddle lingered on.
End of CHAPTER 3
[A/N: Yay another chapter. Hope you enjoy! Still not much of a story, I know, but hopefully it will sort itself. Thx for the reviews so far (2), and I'm looking forward to more so I know how I'm doing, what I need to work on, and any particular things you want to see, etc. Thanks and enjoy]