All this belongs to Joss Whedon and all the other creators
Angel POV:
Xander came to the seat nearest to me. He sat down slowly, feeling as…hesitant as I was. He smiled slightly, unsure of how to start.
"So…um…Angel, you've heard about…Anya…right?" he asked me. I simply nodded.
"Well…you know we were…together?" he asked.
"Um, vaguely," I replied. Curiosity flowed through me.
"And you know how it feels for someone you…love…to…" he couldn't finish his sentence. But I knew what he wanted to know.
"How did you handle it?" he asked. I sighed and lifted myself up so I was face to face with him. He eyes were moistening.
"Xander, the first time Buffy died," I shivered at the memory, "I couldn't handle it. When I saw her in the water, I didn't know what I was going to do."
He nodded, encouraging me to continue.
Buffy POV:
Willow continuously sobbed into my jacket, her pain etching gashes into my heart. But I didn't let her know that. Every now and then she would blubber out different names, Tara, her mother, her father, Oz (which surprised me). She played with her hair, not saying anything.
She eventually settled into silent tears, her teeth barred. We both looked out to the day sky, trying to deny the truth. That was why I jumped when she said my name.
"Buffy?" she said, hesitation clear in her voice.
"Buffy…I need to ask you something," she paused, waiting for me to answer.
"Go ahead, Wil" I encouraged her. She breathed deeply, trying to calm her nerves.
"You know…I feel guilty about Tara," she said. I nodded, knowing her feelings were obtuse.
"I need to know…how you could keep yourself after killing…Angel," she finished holding her breath. I looked to her, hiding the surprise I felt. It was an odd question. I thought she knew she wasn't responsible to Tara.
"Wil…it wasn't as easy as I made it out to be. I never actually got over Angel. When he died…I had to run. The world meant little to me. All I could see was his face right before he got….sucked into the portal," I replied. I breathed, catching air and trying not to break down with guilt.
She kept her eyes on me, tentative.
"I had to mow it over. It was just so…hard," I told her, "and you cannot do the same thing as me." She nodded eager for me to continue.
Angel POV:
"It's okay Angel…I won't attack you now. I promise!" Xander smiled.
"Thanks," I replied. My mind flashed back to when she stabbed me just before I got sucked down the portal. The memories flew back in and I couldn't believe all the evil I had done. I had killed Buffy's classmate…a toddler…Jenny.
The guilt mixed with the white hot pain of the sword was overwhelming.
"The second time Buffy…passed, I was a little stronger," I replied, "when Willow told me what had happened, I didn't break down like before."
"I ran to her grave, with the little patience I had. Honestly, Xander your handling better than I ever did," I complemented him. He smiled a solemn smile my way.
"Oh, God! For a bunch of tough guys, you're saps," a voice said. Xander and I both jumped and looked to the ceiling.
Jonathan was bound to the roof of the bus, face down. I had to smirk at his position. He didn't look comfortable at all. Xander on the other hand looked full of rage.
"Listen, dumb ass, this isn't your conversation. Go back to sleep before I pull a cross bow on you," he threatened.
Jonathan didn't give up a fight. He scrunched his eyes in fear. Wow.
Xander furrowed his brow in disgust. He was also disappointed is Jonathan. He sat back in his original seat.
"Continue, Angel" he told me. I nodded, thinking of what to say.
"Xander, all I can say is that keep her in your memory. Yes, slowly let her go, but never forget her. If you do…she'll just cause you more pain. She'll be bottled up until you do remember her," I told him, "I could never let Buffy go because I knew it would kill me if I did."
He seemed to understand what I was saying.
"Wow, Angel. I never though you could be that wise," he told me. I rolled my eyes at his inobservance.
"You're terrible, Xander" I joked. He smiled.
"Saps," I heard Jonathan mumble. I turned my head to him.
"Crossbow," I muttered as I pointed to Xander. Jonathan shivered in fear.
Buffy POV:
"Willow…all I can say is that, she was yours. It wasn't your fault that she died. You never killed her. I know you could've defended her," Willow stopped a sob, "but the reason she got a bullet lodged into her body was because Warren was insane."
"He was the one who should be punished, not you," I told her. For one second, she transferred back to Dark Willow. I put my hand on her face to calm her. Her hair slowly transfigured back to red.
I bent down to whisper in her ear, "I don't mean to be harsh. Just remind yourself that her death was never your fault." Her tears were silent, as I felt her nod.
"Thanks, Buffy" she muttered, meant for me.
"No problem," I muttered, trying to hide my own grief.
Angel POV:
Xander explained to me how Anya died. It sickened me. The worst part was, she didn't have any protection.
Her only help was a nerd who was in love with the "vampire" held to the ceiling. I nodded when ever he needed reassurance. For once, I didn't mind Xander. He was actually a decent guy.
Jonathan eventually fell asleep with boredom. He didn't even seem the least bit interested. Somehow, we got off the subject of Anya.
"Weird, isn't it" Xander said. I shot him a confused look.
"What?" I said.
"Sunnydale. It's gone. Sort of…weird," he whispered to me.
I nodded in reply. It was strange for this…pit to be the place where I had started my redemption. It was…odd.