She knew that he was pouting again, but she calmly ignored him and kept her eyes scanning the shelves.
"Please?" he repeated for about the fifth time.
She closed her eyes and replied tersely, "No, Booth. I already said it at least four times, and it's not going to be any different the next time you ask either."
"But you've already got yours wrapped and I still don't even know what to get Nigel!"
"So?"
"Oh come on, Bones, you could at least help me. Who did you get a gift for, anyways?"
"Another thing I'm not going to tell you," she muttered, selecting a box of cereal and flipping it to read the nutrition label. "This stuff is horribly unhealthy," she muttered, placing it back on the shelf and leaning down to pick up one that looked less sugary. "Do you think Parker would like this just as much?"
"I highly doubt my son will find Wheaties as exciting as Lucky Charms," he said, shaking his head as he chuckled slightly. "It's Christmas, Bones, let him eat what he wants."
She scowled, "But that aids him to create an unhealthy pattern in his life, which will only continue to repeat and then exponentially expand until he becomes obese and unable to participate in those sports that you remember from high school." Seeing the look on his face, she frowned and continued, "I'm just trying to be realistic. You should try it once in a while."
He sighed. "Okay, being realistic... how about we go get ourselves a nice Christmas tree, since realistically it's going to get harder to find one the closer we get to the big day?"
"I thought you might like to handle that part," she suggested. "I'll be fine with whatever you pick out." She pushed the grocery cart around the corner and consulted the list with a frown as she stopped in front of a freezer and opened it, scanning the icy contents for her usual brand of frozen yogurt.
"Bones... finding the tree is just as important as decorating it. I could never just... go and do it without you. I want this to be special... it's our first Christmas together, after all... time to set down some traditions."
"If it's that important to you, then of course I'll come along," she conceded. "What other traditions, exactly, did you have in mind?" she added as an afterthought question.
"You know, just stuff you usually do for Christmas. When I was a kid, we all just grabbed our presents and opened them... I'd like to try maybe taking our time, though. Make it more enjoyable, more important... what did you do, when you were a kid?"
She knew that he was asking hesitantly, so she answered quickly to ease his mind, knowing that he hated bringing up her childhood because he thought it upset her. Sometimes it did, yes, but she didn't want him to have to constantly be concerned about it.
"My dad always went out and got the tree, and then we decorated together. Mom and dad had us open all of our gifts one after the other, and then we could entertain ourselves with them while they opened each others'... which were usually just household stuff."
He nodded, smiling warmly at her. "Well, I guess we'll just have to see how everything unfolds for us, then, won't we?"
She nodded agreement, leading them around another corner as she collected a loaf of whole wheat bread and then moved on to the produce department.
"You know, maybe we should go easy on how much we're getting here, Bones. I don't want to be lugging bags into the house all afternoon in the snow. For all we know, it could be a blizzard out there by now."
"Fruits and vegetables are the most important part of any meal," she said simply, grabbing a bag and snapping it open as she began examining a large red tomato.
"You're going to turn my son into a vegetarian," he complained teasingly.
"What's the problem there? It's a healthy lifestyle. You'd benefit from it, you know."
He laughed, "Yeah, sorry Bones, but I'm going to have to pass. I like my meat just a little too much."
She shrugged.
"You know," he said, his voice more serious and thoughtful, "For claiming you wouldn't be a very good mother, you really act like one."
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, and she raced to think of something to say in response, something that would sound normal and that would get her out of this particular conversation. Things never went smoothly whenever Booth brought up either of the two topics that were practically taboo in their home. Marriage and babies. And this was clearly a baby-related-topic.
She decided to brush it off and hope he'd move on and start talking about something else. "Every woman possesses maternal instincts, Booth. And besides, no matter how muted mine may be, I rely more on natural instinct in regard to my own lifestyle. I rely on healthy food; it only makes sense to serve that same food to people I care about."
He grinned softly at her, and then reached over and tossed an apple from hand to hand. "Got enough there, yet?" he asked, nodding towards the assortment already in the cart.
"I think so," she agreed with a nod.
"How many bags is this going to fill?" he muttered apprehensively under his breath as he steered them towards the register.
"About three," she said convincingly. "I brought my canvas bags; they're much easier and environmentally friendly. It should all fit in three of them."
He laughed again, "You think of everything, don't you, Bones?"
"Yup," she answered with a grin.
"Seriously, though," he muttered to her as they began to load their food up onto the belt, making her brace herself for another unpleasant topic, "What am I going to get Nigel?"
She released the breath she'd been holding in the form of a short laugh. "You never quit," she chuckled. "Tell you what, if you help me put away all of these groceries, I'll consider helping you find something for him."
"You'll consider?" he asked indignantly.
"Yes. Consider. Is there a problem with that?"
He shook his head, chuckling under his breath. "No, Bones... no problem at all..."
She frowned, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye and not really understanding what was so amusing about what she'd said.
Once they were back in the car he brought up the topic of the impending holiday once again, "We really do need to go and get a tree... would you be okay with doing that tomorrow, maybe? Decorations won't be a real problem, since I've got plenty stored away back at my old place."
"I would be fine with that arrangement," she consented. "I might... actually have some old decorations myself."
He stared at her in surprise, "Well then of course we'll use them, Bones. I'm glad you... I'm just happy that we can incorporate things from both of us. And maybe... we can get some new decorations to, you know, commemorate our first year celebrating Christmas together."
She considered for a moment, her first reaction kicking in to immediately contradict the rationality of everything that this conversation stood for, but she finally overruled it and instead smiled back at him. To him, she knew it would be as good as a sign of her agreement with what he'd suggested.
"What about this one?" he suggested eagerly, pointing out a tall tree with a wide bottom. A light dusting of snow decorated the tips of its branches, making it sparkle.
"Booth, I told you before that I don't really know exactly how to do this. They all look perfectly fine to me."
It was early morning, and the snow from the night before had hardened with a sheet of ice lying on the top. Their boots crunched through it loudly whenever they moved. She took another sip from the burning coffee in her cup, jerking her head back in response to the alarming heat. It was instinct to drink from the cup that she held, and she'd already forgotten multiple times just how hot it was due to that. Carefully she wrapped both hands around it and twisted them to rub the warmth more thoroughly into her body through her fingers. The snow might have stopped, but that didn't mean that it wasn't still the coldest day of the month thus far.
"Cold, Bones?" he asked cheekily. "Told you that you should have worn gloves."
"One of them had a big hole in it," she replied defensively. "And its not like I have boxes of extras just lying around in our apartment."
"Tell you what, I'll go buy you a new pair as an early Christmas gift."
"I'm fine," she growled in response, her hands clamping slightly tighter around the warmth of the object in her hands. She lifted it to her lips again, wincing as the hot liquid once again burned her.
"No, you're not. You're tired," he responded. "And cold, of course, but I already knew that one. Here," he stepped closer and wrapped an arm around her. He rubbed his hand up and down her arm, the warmth of his body against hers immediately making her melt into him. When he stepped away he pulled the coffee cup carefully out of her hands. "I'll hang on to this until you wake up enough to realize you shouldn't keep trying to burn off all your taste buds with it."
She opened her mouth to object, but then decided it wasn't really worth it. He was probably right, anyways.
"Oh, and another thing... I could never really say it before, but you look adorable in that hat," he whispered to her, grinning widely as he turned away and started to walk up the nearest row of trees. She stared after him for a moment, just surprised at the abruptness of the comment, and then hastily followed. Her hands went subconsciously up to the hat, a soft smile creeping on to her face as she joined him.
"You know that I don't care much for that term," she said, trying to sound stern but failing.
He laughed, "And you should know me enough to know that I don't really care, Bones."
She gave him a mock glare, which only made him laugh again.
"Besides," he murmured, leaning closer to her ear, "You do look adorable... it's not my fault, just my observation."
She gave him a light punch on the arm.
"Okay, enough of that... the sooner we get a tree the sooner we can get back to a nice warm environment. Preferably curled up on the couch watching a movie with some hot cocoa and popcorn."
She had to admit, that did sound quite appealing. She shivered again as he stepped away once more, and he paused and then reached a hand out to her. She didn't even hesitate before she stepped forward and took it. His arm wrapped around her back as they walked together down the row. He continued to point out trees, and she attempted to observe them with the same fascination that he did, looking for some sort of quality that would make it stand out to her. She wished this sort of thing came easily to her, the way it seemed to for everyone else this time of year.
"Oh, now this one is perfect," Booth said eagerly, separating himself from her as he stepped closer to it. He turned back to grin at her, "What do you think?"
It looked like just about every tree, but she had to admit that it did look vibrant, and there were certainly plenty of nice branches that they could hang ornaments from.
"It looks great, Booth," she said, smiling back.
"Alright, then, Bones... let's get her all paid for and tied to the roof!"
"Careful with those!" Booth said, yanking back to avoid being hit by the large boxes she was carrying.
"Sorry!" she answered, steadying them and setting them on the nearest piece of furniture, which happened to be his very dusty couch. "Booth, don't you think it would be a good idea to just move all of your stuff out of here so that we don't have to pay rent on two apartments? I mean... look at this," she ran a finger along the edge of the cushion, collecting a thick layer of dust on it and holding it up for him to see.
He scoffed, "Oh, and I suppose you'd let me put all this stuff in the spare room or something?"
"Well obviously you could sell most of it."
He gave her an indignant and slightly horrified look.
"Be reasonable," she said, quickly attempting to explain what she'd meant, "Your furniture isn't going to be any use to you anymore. Of course you would bring over anything that holds a value to you personally, but this couch... I see no reason to hang onto it."
He scowled. "I doubt we'd be having this same conversation if you had moved here."
"But it made more sense for you to move into my place; it's far more spacious and conveniently located. Besides, we wouldn't have had this conversation if the situation had been reversed because I'd have gotten rid of anything I didn't need and brought everything else over. And it wouldn't have taken me months."
"Hey, it's a work in progress."
"The only things that have been moved are your Harry Potter collection and all of your DVDs," she pointed out. "Other than that, everything is exactly the way it was before we started dating. Minus the accumulation of dust, of course..."
"Hey, your welcome to tackle it if it bothers you so much," he offered. "Just... don't throw anything out."
"If you want me to do it myself, things will be thrown out, Booth."
"...You're no fun."
She laughed. "Okay, would you like to just move back in here then, if I'm not any fun to be around?"
He gave her a serious look. "Of course not, Bones. I wouldn't change what we've got now, not for anything in the world. You think I don't like living together?"
She leaned closer and whispered, "I was kidding," in his ear. At his surprised expression, she chuckled and stepped back, lifting the boxes up again and making her way towards the door. "Come on, I think this is all of it... just get that box there and we can head home."
She turned and pushed her back into the door to get it open fully, and then rounded the corner out into the hallway without looking back to see if he was complying or not. The sound of his boots on the stairs a moment later confirmed it, though. She smiled softly to herself.
It was snowing once again, but lightly. The soft flakes caught in her hair as she crunched through the thin layer of snow on the sidewalk and propped the boxes on the side of the car in order to get the door open. Booth pushed his box onto the backseat before she could get hers in, and then he nimbly lifted them right out of her hands and put them in as well. She gave him an annoyed look, but he chose to grin cheekily back in response.
In retaliation she pick pocketed the keys from him and quickly made her way around to jump in the driver's seat.
Grumbling, he shut the back door and climbed in next to her.
"So, I just have to find some of my decorations once we get back, and we can get started," she told him as she started the engine and pulled out onto the road.
It had been a bit of a struggle, getting the tree off the roof and up into the apartment, but they'd managed it. While Booth had wanted to relax, she'd insisted that they go and get everything done right then. Afterwards they would have plenty of time to get comfortable and watch a movie or something.
"Oh, Booth?" she asked after a short while of driving in silence.
"Yeah?"
"Head straight home after work tomorrow; I'm bringing my own car to work."
"...Why?"
"I have some... shopping to do," she said, trying to make it sound innocent enough.
"Well, in that case, I'll go and get some of my shopping done as well," he replied, grinning.
"Maybe we should set a... limit?" she suggested, pulling to a stop at a red light and turning to face him more fully. She tilted her head to the side questioningly.
"I don't think that'll be necessary. Let's just not go crazy, and it should be fine. Besides, I'm going to have a challenging enough time as it is... you won't even give me a list of things you'd like."
"Well I can't think of any! And besides, you aren't much easier. What do you want?"
"Fine, you win that one."
She laughed. "Yes, I do."
"Hey, no need to rub it in, Bones!"
The light changed, and she turned left, driving a short distance before pulling into the back lot of the apartment building and sliding easily into her space. They both climbed out at the same time, and Booth got to the back faster, grabbing two boxes and leaving her with the last one. She scowled, but grabbed it without complaint and followed him. He still had to insist on being the gentleman, no matter how much she told him it wasn't necessary. It was a part of who he was, though, she supposed, and so she could live with it.
"What first?" she asked, putting the box down next to the other two on the table once they were in the apartment.
"Lights," he said eagerly, pulling open the top box and struggling to get out a long and tangled chain of colorful bulbs.
"Need some... help?"
"No, no... I've got it..." he muttered, yanking them out at last. The long strand tumbled mostly to the ground in a big heap or twisted wires.
"Whatever you say," she replied, slightly amused. "I'm going to go dig around in my hall closet to see what I can find... good luck with those."
"I don't need luck," he muttered, tugging at a knot.
She laughed under her breath, shaking her head as she made her way up the hall.
The closet was organized, for the most part, so it didn't take long to find a storage container packed full with ornaments all wrapped securely in tissue paper. She hadn't had this here forever, which was probably why it had been so easy to locate. Her father had only just sent these to her a few years back, after she'd found him again, and she'd never even bothered to look at them. Taking a deep breath, she carried the box back to the living room and set it down, carefully popping open the lid.
"Found them?" Booth asked. "That was quick."
"Yes, well, that's what happens when you're an organized person," she responded teasingly.
"Hmph," he grunted, glaring at the mess of lights, which had not progressed towards anything decent to be put on the tree as of yet. Then he simply shook his head, got to his feet, and came over to the couch, dropping on to a cushion and leaning forward to peer in the box. She slowly sat down beside him, reaching inside and pulling out the first bundle of tissue that her fingers encountered. She didn't look at him as she carefully unraveled it.
A slight gasp whispered out through her lips as she stared at the little yarn ornament, woven messily into the shape of a dog. It wasn't obvious what it was, but she knew. She'd made it herself, so long ago that she would have entirely forgotten if she wasn't staring at it right then.
"How old were you?" he asked gently, nodding towards the small object in her hands.
"Five," she answered softly, her fingers stroking over it. Her eyes didn't leave it as she continued. "Mom used to take out a craft book from the library... me and Russ would pick a project. Usually it never really came out very good... but my parents always hung them up and adored them... I think it was mostly my mom's doing, though. Dad never was one for acting like something was beautiful when it wasn't... he was always very honest about everything. Ironic, him being a conman the whole time..." she added with a sigh.
"Your parents loved you, Bones. That's all that matters."
She nodded, carefully placing the ornament down and reaching in to pull out another one. She didn't even realize her hand was shaking until Booth gently took the one she'd lifted out from her fingers and carefully opened it for her.
A hand flew up to her mouth and she bit her lower lip as she held out a hand for it. He placed it gently in her palm and she cupped it there, staring at it with wide eyes.
"I got this for my mom," she whispered, a finger trailing down the back of the glass dolphin. "It was my Christmas present to her one year... she loved it. Always put it on the tree first. Every year."
"Would you like to put it on, then, Bones?"
She stared at him in surprise. "I... you wouldn't mind?"
"Of course I wouldn't; I want you to continue the tradition. Go ahead."
She smiled softly at him as she held the ornament delicately in both hands and stood to place it on a higher branch, making sure to hook it securely.
"Come on," he said, standing up. "Help me with these lights, and we'll get the rest of the ornaments up."
His eyes blinked open slowly as he stretched his arms out from under the blankets. As usual, he turned his head towards her to see if she was awake yet or not, but she wasn't there. He frowned and rolled off the mattress, wincing as his bare feet hit the icy floor.
"Bones?" he called as he rounded the corner and made his way to the kitchen. He didn't smell coffee, which was odd. If she awoke before him she almost always started a pot before doing anything else. And he didn't hear the shower running, either.
He didn't get a response, and his frown intensified. When he couldn't find her it always made him nervous, despite how annoyed he knew that idea would make her. He might be a bit too protective, but he thought he had a pretty good right to be after how close he'd come, many times, to losing her altogether.
A note on the refrigerator immediately caught his eye after he initially observed that the coffee pot was still tucked in the corner, not yet touched that morning.
Booth- I just have something that I need to do today. I'll be home well before lunch; sorry for not telling you. This is just something I need to do alone, and I hope you can forgive me for that. I love you, Bones.
He raised an eyebrow, his breath leaving him for a moment as he remembered the last time that he'd gotten a hasty note like this from her. He wondered if the significance had been noticed by her, and hoped desperately that it hadn't. He didn't like remembering, but the idea of her remembering was far more painful. He'd gladly take the burden of all of it off of her shoulders, if only he could.
He knew her well enough to be able to figure out where she was fairly quickly. He could put together enough of the other information he knew, too, to understand exactly why this was something she thought she needed to do by herself. And she was right, actually. He just wished she'd have told him... he would have let her go alone. He would have understood. But she was doing things her way, the only way she knew, and he couldn't begrudge her even slightly for it.
He could, however, go to meet her where she was, and take her to get some breakfast afterwards.
He grabbed his keys from the bowl by the door, noting that hers were there as well; she'd taken a cab.
It didn't take him long to find her. He pulled the SUV to a halt at the edge of the cemetery and got out, stepping around to lean against it as he watched her from a distance. She was standing somewhat awkwardly in front of her mother's grave, and he could see that she was talking, even though he couldn't hear her of make out what she was saying. He politely looked away, not wanting to intrude.
He knew why she was here, today. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Nineteen years ago today, Max and Ruth Keenan had gone Christmas shopping and never come home. What he didn't know was what she might be saying to her mother, or the "universe," as he'd suggested she do since she didn't believe.
From what he could see from where he was, though, it was fairly obvious she was speaking directly to her mother. She didn't do things like this often, didn't give into irrationalities. Today she was clearly going off of emotion, going off of her heart. A soft and slightly wistful smile pulled up the corners of his lips. She was learning things from him, just like he was learning from her.
His eyes strayed back to her after a long moment of gazing off down the rows, to check and see if she was coming back yet or if she was still in the same place, and he noticed quickly that her demeanor had changed. He knew she was crying.
Most of him wanted to run to her and pull her into his arms, but the other part, the part trained by logic and more specifically by her, was telling him to stay right where he was, and let her do this on her own... like she wanted to. She wouldn't forgive him otherwise, he was fairly certain.
And so, staring at her like he was, he caught the ending, and his breath caught in his throat as his brain quickly processed the movements of her lips and translated them into words.
After all that she'd gone through, all that she'd faced back then and since, after losing herself practically when her entire family vanished on her and made her feel like she didn't matter, like no one cared, he never would have dreamed she could speak those three words to her mother, who was dead and therefore not a reasonably companion for any form of conversation in her mind.
But, she did say them, and her eyes turned away and towards him directly afterwards, as if she'd known he was there the whole time. She gave him just a quick nod, as though acknowledging what he'd done by coming and at the same time showing that she wasn't mad because of it. He stayed put, waiting calmly and patiently for her to come to him at her own pace.
When she did arrive at his side, he offered his arms to her, and she gladly pressed herself into them for a moment before she stepped back, quietly dried her eyes, and climbed into the passenger's side without speaking a single word. She didn't have to, though. This was one of those times when words would have failed anyways.
As it was, the only words he could hear were those that he hadn't been able to pick up by sound moments ago. And yet, he could hear them, spoken in her voice, now, and he knew that they meant a lot. They meant that she was truly moving on, even though he'd known they were on that road for a long time. This step... it would help her. And he couldn't be grateful for much else at that point, knowing that what she'd done here today would push them only closer to peace in the end.
"I forgive you."
There will be another chapter on Christmas Eve, do not fear :)
I thought it would be important to bring back up some of the issues that are still there, since they've been taking a back seat to more enjoyable BB fluff. But Brennan still has plenty on her mind, remember that. She's not 'over' what happened to her, not by any means. She's just been able to avoid it for a while, trying to push it away.
The rest of the Christmas chapters will be cheerful, though, so don't worry about that too much for now. :)