Title: Define My Pain

By: Aina Song

Fandom(s): YYH/FF8 Crossover

Genre: Yaoi

Rating: NC-17

Warning(s): Language; Angst; Blood - Possibly some Saap, if I can manage it.

Pairing(s): Yusuke/Squall; implied Hiei/Kurama

Reviews: Yes, please.

Author's Note: Standard Disclaimer. This story was not written for money. Italics= dreams, and such.

Teaser: He didn't know what he needed… Until it found him.

Chapter Three - Behave

Seifer stared, "He kissed you?"

Squall nodded, dropping to his bed with an air of frustration.

The blond youth quickly thought back to the first day they awoke in this temple, and of the look in Urameshi's eyes when he had first challenged Squall. A few pieces of the puzzle finally dropped into place, and Seifer smirked. "And?"

"And, what?"

"Did you kiss him back?"

Squall sat up to throw him a dark look. But Seifer wasn't fooled, "He didn't give you the chance."

There was a long moment's silence, before Squall answered, "I don't know where you're trying to go with this."

"That's a 'no'," Seifer haughtily translated. "Which means you would have, had he let you?"

His old rival narrowed his chalk-blue eyes, growing dangerously still. "He is not Rinoa."

Sighing, he gave up all attempts at mockery. "That's not what I asked you, Leonhart."

But Squall only stretched out on his back again, then crossed his arms and rolled to his

side until he was facing the opposite wall.(6)

"He is not Rinoa…"

~o~

Kurama very softly knocked on their door. He waited patiently until it was swung open, and the blond youth Seifer Almasy was studying him with a careful eye. Kurama smiled, "Is he still awake?"

Silently, Seifer nodded.

"May I speak with him?"

The blond shrugged, opening the door a little wider and stepping back. But Kurama's quick glance caught sight of the blade held cautiously in his other hand. "I don't wish to invade the privacy of those still unready to trust me," he calmly declined. "The corridor is quite open. Would he be willing to come out here, to speak with me?"

"What is it?" Squall himself answered, coming to the door.

Spreading his arms wide to reveal he meant no ill will, Kurama backed away a few paces to allow Squall Leonhart into the corridor. The quiet youth followed slowly; while behind him his blond companion left the door slightly ajar in case he should be needed.

"Forgive me if I intrude on matters that are not my concern," Kurama began. "But you seem to have upset my bond-brother."

"Bond-brother?"

"Yes. Yusuke, Hiei, and I have shared many dangers. Our past ties us closer than anything I could explain. Suffice to say, I survive for them, as they do for me."

Squall stared, perhaps in disbelief of such a notion. "What has that to do with me?"

"Everything," the red-haired fox softly insisted. "Yusuke has asked me to apologize in his stead for whatever wrong he feels he has set upon you. And to relay a message that he will not hold you to his wager about tomorrow night."

"No," Squall suddenly insisted. "I'd accepted his challenge; I will not back down."

That was when Kurama saw it. A very determined light shone in Squall's eyes, and also… Far into their chalky blue depths he discovered the image that clearly haunted this young man's soul. It was this image which solved a number of riddles for Kurama, but which would undoubtedly leave a few for Yusuke. The redhead offered a kind smile. "A man of his word," he praised. "I had hoped my bond-brother had chosen well."

He smiled again at Squall's confused stare; then he turned and started down the corridor. It was not until the door had closed soundly behind him that Yusuke Urameshi stepped out of the shadows. His brown eyes had lost some of their ferocity as he gave the demon fox a pointedly questioning look.

"Well?"

Kurama's smile faded into a look of quiet concern. "You were right. Squall Leonhart is a man haunted by his past."

"Who isn't," Yusuke dryly commented. "What did you see?"

"A young woman. She dominates his subconscious."

The dark youth nodded, as though having expected as much. "His girlfriend?"

"At one time, perhaps." Kurama watched his friend's expression closely, "She died."

Pain and sympathy flashing in his eyes, Yusuke dropped his head and glanced away. "No competin' with that…"

"The game is not called, just yet, Yusuke."

He looked up, "Isn't it?"

"I think he might've kissed you back, had you given him the chance. He seems a man capable of trusting his instincts. He simply needs convincing that the past does not belong in the present."

"But… How do I-"

"I'm confident you'll think of something," Kurama assured, stepping around him to return to his own room.

"Hey. Suu(7)?"

He glanced back. Yusuke was rubbing a hand across the back of his neck, a hesitant look on his face. "What you said earlier, about me makin' the right choice… You really mean that?"

Kurama's smile returned, "Yes, Yusuke. Whatever the outcome, I commend you for trying."

~o~

"Keep pressure on it," Squall was urging her.

But her hands had already begun to tremble, and she could barely lift them to her chest to cover the wound. Swearing, he carefully gathered her against him and placed his own hand to the blood-soaked compress. The sudden jerk of movement caused the hole in her left lung to stretch, and she coughed out the blood before she could choke on it.

He did not flinch when it spattered on the side of his face, did not move to wipe it away. He only kept his hand firmly to the compress. "Please," he whispered, not caring that he was begging. "Let me try again to heal you. I could chant a Curaga, or-"

"No," she rasped.

"Then I could break a Phoenix Down," Squall insisted, already searching his pocket.

But she only shook her head. "Just hold me. I feel so cold…"

"Rinoa," he pleaded once more, looking up to search her eyes for the answer. But the brown eyes that stared back at him shone with a ferocity that had never been her own.

"Yu-Yusuke…?"

The dark youth offered a weak smile, before he closed his eyes and lolled his head back with a final sigh. The burning wound beneath Squall's hand grew suddenly chill, and the slowly pumping echo of his heartbeat faded with a murmur of a pulse that Squall could only barely feel beneath his fingertips.

With a quick gasp for air, Squall sat straight up in his bed. Darkness flooded his eyes as he glanced about the room, trying to catch his breath.

A dream. Just another dream, but- That one had been a bit different from the others. How the incident mere hours before must truly have affected him, to have warped his memory like that… His heart still hammering against his chest, he slowly lay down again to recapture sleep.

Across the room, Seifer's dark blue eyes opened for a brief moment. He understood. He had watched Squall sit up in bed enough times to accurately guess which nightmare was still haunting his old rival. And he knew that any words he might offer would be turned away. So he didn't say a thing, rolling his head to the other side and closing his eyes once more as though he had witnessed nothing.

~o~

The next morning found the two swordsmen back in the marble room. Seifer was sitting with his back leaning comfortably against a wall, while Squall attacked his shadow with more force than was necessary. Bringing up his knee, Seifer draped an arm over it and watched his old rival work up a sweat. "How long will you keep this up?"

Squall acknowledged the second meaning behind that question. "Until I can get the taste of him out of my mouth," he spat, throwing his shadow back with a blast of snow and ice.(8)

"Right." The blond rolled his eyes with a small smirk, "Or until you can find a way to make it happen again."

He nearly stumbled in the midst of an attack at that one. "He is not Rinoa…"

"Damn it, Leonhart." Seifer sighed, feeling no anger but impatience at his friend's behavior. "Look. I miss her, too. But I'm not about to stand back and watch you make the same mistake twice."

"And what is that supposed to mean," Squall demanded, turning to him with a dangerous glint in his chalky blue eyes. Now that he was no longer concentrating on his magic, his doppelganger lost all its solidity and fell back to the floor.

But Seifer never flinched. "It took you forever to let her get close to you. You kept pushing her back for so long, it's a wonder she never gave up on you. I doubt Urameshi will be half as patient as that."

"So you're suggesting I should just let this happen."

"Think about it," he calmly answered. "Wouldn't Rinoa tell you the same thing?"

Squall fell silent, that emotionless mask he wore so well falling back into place. But Seifer saw the crack in it that had been placed there ever since the unthinkable had happened. So when Squall turned away and left the room without another word, Seifer let him go, shaking his head and wishing for Leonhart's sake that the past might one day be erased.

~o~

Pathetic.

Perched atop one of the ceiling's thick support beams, Hiei had watched their conversation. And he was disappointed to discover that the human Kurama had convinced him to be worthy of their bond-brother was actually little more than a spineless coward. Where was the creature that had once drawn Yusuke's blood?

Hiei respected Yusuke's choice, and would not speak against their bond-brother. But he did not share Kurama's confidence that Squall Leonhart was enough to salve Yusuke's wounded heart.

~o~

Seifer had finally left the marble room, and was wandering aimlessly along the temple corridors. He had not gone far, before whispered voices behind a closed door drew him closer.

"Have you no respect for their privacy?"

"I will not allow harm to come him, Kurama, even if that seems all he wants. I stood by the last time; don't expect me to do it again."

"Give them their chance, Hiei. You've seen how much Yusuke needs this."

"… I will. But if that human betrays our bond-brother-"

But in the very next instant, the voices had grown quiet. Before Seifer could realize he had been caught, the door swung wide open. And there stood the red-haired youth that had at some point during the week been introduced as "Kurama". His emerald green eyes settled their infinitely patient gaze upon Seifer, and the barest hint of warning flashed in them. Seifer felt suddenly disarmed, as though he had gone into battle without his Hyperion and not realized it until he had found himself face-to-face with a T-Rexaur.

Kurama's slow smile belied that warning, but not enough to ease Seifer's discomfort. "Good morning, Mister Almasy. May I help you?"

Feeling inexplicably out of place, the tall blond silently shook his head.

The crimson-eyed being that was rarely seen away from Kurama's side also stepped into the doorway, and he did not bother to hide the warning in his glare. "What have you heard?"

"I-"

"Answer wisely," the redhead softly suggested. "Hiei has very little patience this morning."

Thinking quickly, remembering that his every move in some way would reflect upon Leonhart's reputation, Seifer drew himself up with as much haughty pride as he could muster. "I heard enough to ascertain that you both have your suspicions about Leonhart. My word may be of little value to ones such as you, but I tell you now that Squall Leonhart is only ever as respectable as he is treated." And, having given no small warning of his own, he boldly turned his back on them and returned to his room.

~o~

That night, there was a knock on the door to their room. Ignoring Seifer's quick smirk, Squall stood and came to open the door. It was Yusuke, of course, ready to close his half of their deal. He was facing away, waiting for the door to be answered; so Squall had a moment to study the subtle change in Yusuke's appearance. The dark youth wore faded jeans, and a red tee-shirt with its sleeves and collar torn away. Usually, his feathery black hair would be combed back and away from his fierce brown eyes, giving him the look of some delinquent out for a fight. Tonight, however, he had left it in its natural disarray. The difference made him appear slightly more vulnerable than he might let on.

Yusuke finally noticed that Squall had been standing in the doorway. But when he turned around, his chosen greeting fell from his lips, and his dark eyes widened.

"Damn…"

Seifer let out a short laugh from across the room, obviously enjoying the show. Squall tossed him a dark look. It had been Seifer's suggestion to go through with this thing in the first place; it had taken a good hour or so to convince Squall to "clean up" for the event. The look he threw his blond companion now was a warning not to press his luck.

Squall had abandoned most of his leathers for the night. His jacket, belts, gloves, even the three smaller belts that had embraced his left forearm were all piled neatly in the far corner of the room. Tonight he wore only his dark pants and white tee-shirt, which had been left untucked.

The simplicity of his outfit made him feel more uncomfortable than had the SeeD uniform he had worn to his graduation. For, though he was not a vain man, he was all too aware of the effect Seifer had been striving for when he had convinced Squall to do this. Squall had already glimpsed his reflection in a mirror; he had to admit to himself that his old rival had very nearly succeeded.

Squall had wanted to remain unaffected, and unreachable.

His reflection led him closer toward irresistibly forbidden.

Yusuke seemed to have caught the glare Squall had thrown in Seifer's direction, for his mouth tilted in a mischievous smirk. "Don't worry," he offered. "I'll behave."

6) Old habits.

7) My abbrev. for "Suuichi". I tampered with the idea a long time ago, and finally got to use it. It's probably not even an original nickname, but I thought it suited the moment.

8) "Blizzard."