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I Woke Up In LoVe This Morning

Veronica glanced at Logan sitting next to Wallace in the far corner of her father's hospital room, then quickly turned away again before their eyes made contact. She did her best to re-focus on the conversation going on between her dad and Alicia, but it was difficult. The memory of how she woke-up that morning kept repeating through her mind.

She'd asked for a seven-thirty wake-up call, but her eyes fluttered open on their own long before the phone rang. Back-Up was still laying at her feet, and Logan was still pressed against her back, and she'd slept better than she'd thought possible given how the evening had started. As she slowly adjusted to the soft morning light pouring in through the curtains, she realized Logan's hand wasn't where it should be. At some point in the night he'd pushed up her tank top, and he was cupping the underside of her breast, his thumb grazing the side.

She knew he was still asleep; she could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest behind her. And she knew she should move his hand before he woke-up. But the problem was, Veronica sorta liked his hand where it was.

Duncan had copped a feel before. They'd done some petting; there'd been some touching. Not as much as he would have liked, she was sure. It was the typical high school game of 'how far will she let me go?' Groping in the back of a car or in a corner at some party while they made out. But this was different. This was Logan's hand warm against her. Possessive without being intrusive. Not grabby, but gentle. It felt... natural. And she wasn't prepared for that.

When she thought she'd been raped, she'd put up a very thick wall between herself and sex. She'd read all the literature and knew rape was about power, not sex, but like most women, she found it difficult to separate the two wholly in her mind. Now that she knew the truth about the night of Shelley's party, her mind was breaking things down differently. She still felt violated, but it wasn't a constant undertone in her thoughts anymore. She knew she'd been with a boy who loved her and who she loved, and that made it a little easier to accept. But she'd waited to have sex, wanted it to be special, and the memory of it had been stripped away by GHB and alcohol. That part still made her angry. She wasn't a virgin, but she was a virgin. She'd been intimate with someone, but she would never remember it.

The black hole in her consciousness also raised feeling of insecurity. And it was the insecure questions of an inexperienced girl that plagued her the most. Had she liked it? Had he liked it? Was she any good? Did she do anything... wrong? Those were things that occupied her mind now.

So she really wasn't prepared for how... right Logan's hand felt against her. There was no question, no second-guessing. Anger and insecurity were gone. She liked Logan's hand where it was. For the first time in over a year, she had an experienced opinion about something related to her body and sex. Coupled with what almost happened before they fell asleep, she was almost giddy.

She knew she was going to have sex with Logan eventually. If she was being honest, she probably made that decision about a week into their new relationship. Shelley's party and Lilly's murder might have detoured the natural progression of things, but she knew it was going to happen. And she was determined her first time with Logan would be everything she'd always dreamed her first time to be. Which didn't include talking to the police and her father immediately after they were done.

So she slipped out of bed, making sure not to wake Logan, and took Back-Up for a walk. When she returned to the suite, Logan was in the shower. They both dressed and waited for Cliff and Captain Burrows to arrive. Logan didn't mention the night before and Veronica wasn't going to tell him about that morning. But for the rest of the day, she caught herself looking at him and remembering. Thinking about the possibilities.

Of course, sitting next to her father wasn't the best place to do that. Veronica tried once again to reign in her wayward thoughts. Finally, she caught the tail end of what her dad was saying. "What reward?"

"The reward from the hot tip line." Keith looked at puzzled. They'd been talking about it for the past ten minutes. "The hundred-thousand dollars. Weren't you paying attention?"

Veronica sheepishly smiled at him. "Sorry, my mind was wandering. Tell me again," she said, determined to stay focused.

Alicia beamed down at Keith, her pride in him evident. "The mayor has decided to award your father the original reward money for information about Lilly Kane's death. He stopped by this morning personally to deliver the news."

"Oh my god!" Veronica's jaw dropped as she leaned over to hug her father. "I mean... oh my god!"

Keith tightened his arms around her. "I know, sweetheart. Suddenly the Mars family is rolling in money! We can put a down payment on a house and the rest we'll put into your college fund. With the money you have saved already, we can pay for Stanford." He was going to give Veronica her dream. After everything she'd lost, he was going to give her back a home and a future.

Her smile faltered for a second as she thought about the money she'd spent on her mother. She knew she'd have to tell her dad eventually, but not now. "This is incredible, but why is the mayor doing it? What's his angle?"

Wallace laughed from behind her. "Always suspicious. Can't you just be happy about it?"

"I thought you knew her better than that," Logan added sarcastically. "Everything's a conspiracy to Veronica Mars."

Alicia furrowed her eyebrows at the boys, then at Veronica. For a young girl, she had such a pessimistic view of the world. "Maybe he's doing it because it's the right thing to do. Why do you insist on seeing it as something else?"

Veronica stopped herself from rolling her eyes. She liked Alicia, she did, but the woman was too idealistic. How could she live in Neptune and still be trusting of anyone's motives? "No one attached to this case has done anything right from the beginning. I seriously doubt our mayor has suddenly developed altruistic intentions. Did he bring the check with him? No. Let me guess, he wants to present it to dad when he gets out of the hospital. A huge media event where his generosity can be captured on film." This time she did roll her eyes. "There must be some political advantage in it for him. Why's he doing it, dad?"

Keith lovingly patted her cheek. "That's my girl." For better or worse, she'd learned to be suspicious of people's motives. Especially in this town. "Unfortunately, I think Veronica's right, Alicia. This could turn into a political nightmare for him. Anyone who had a prior involvement in the case is going to be under heavy scrutiny. He was at the forefront of the movement to get me out of office, and Aaron has always been one of his supporters. I'm sure the term cover-up is going to be thrown around plenty. Giving me the reward is a subtle way of saying he never considered the case closed. Like he was waiting for someone to find the truth, to come forward. He's been Mayor of Neptune for over ten years. He's good at the political games."

"Do you think there was a cover-up?" Logan asked solemnly from his seat. "Do you think the mayor was involved? Or Lamb? How many people conspired to keep Aaron out of jail?" Logan knew he'd helped. He'd so easily accepted Kuntz as Lilly's killer. Had accused Veronica of betraying them all by siding with her father, when they'd been the only ones fighting to find the truth.

"The only cover-up that happened started and ended in the Kane household. Jake and Celeste were trying to protect Duncan." For Keith and Veronica, Aaron being arrested for Lilly's murder put an end to a yearlong search for the truth. For Logan, it was only the beginning. Keith knew the boy had questions, some which would never be answered. "I don't agree with what they did, but part of me can understand it. I'm a parent too. You do everything you can to protect your children. Sometimes you make mistakes. I'm sure Jake's beating himself up right now, but put in the same situation, I doubt he'd do anything differently."

Alicia was the only one in the room who didn't completely understand what Keith was referring to. She wondered what the Kane's son had to do with what happened to their daughter. She glanced at Wallace, hoping to find another confused soul, and realized even he knew what Keith was talking about. Which wasn't too surprising; Veronica must have told him. Alicia could only handle so much Mars family cryptic conversation. It was like being around people talking in a language that sounded familiar, but you could only understand a phrase or two as you listened. Irritating and frustrating. She leaned over and kissed Keith's cheek. "Wallace and I are going to go, but I'll be back tomorrow after work. Do you need anything?" she asked as she stood.

"If you could slip a hoagie passed Nurse Ratchet out there, I'd appreciate it." Keith smiled up at her. "I'm already sick of hospital food. Kids, give me an Alicia a minute."

Veronica, Wallace and Logan walked out of the room. "They're playing bingo, right?" Wallace said.

"Yes, bingo," Veronica assured him. Logan looked confused; she patted his arm. "I'll explain later."

Then she smiled sweetly at Wallace, but before she could open her mouth again, he said, "Do me a favor?"

Logan's snort of laughter earned him a dirty look from his girlfriend. He held up his hands in self-defense. "Hey, I'm not the one who nailed you." He looked at Wallace, new respect in his eyes. "That was pretty good. You even got the inflection right."

Wallace puffed out his chest. "What can I say? I'm the man."

Veronica crossed her arms in front of her, annoyed at both of them. "If you two are finished making fun of me..." She softened her expression. "Am I that predictable?"

"Don't feel too bad. I know you want something, but I have no idea what it is. You're only predictable to a certain point." Wallace made a show of planting his feet on the floor, bracing himself. "Hit me with it."

Veronica chuckled and lightly slapped his shoulder. "I just want some company, that's all." She kept her eyes on Wallace, ignoring Logan completely. "Someone needs clothes. And I volunteered to go to his house to get them, but he doesn't want me to go. If you go with me, he might stop fighting me about it."

The last thing Wallace wanted to do was take Logan's side over his best friend's, but he thought the guy was right. "I heard the place is crawling with reporters. There are news vans permanently parked outside the gates. You don't want to go there, Veronica."

Logan smirked as he relaxed against the wall. "Wallace doesn't want you to go, and I'm not giving you the code to the security gate. Face it, Ronnie, you're not going to win this argument. We'll go shopping after we leave here."

"Like I need a code," Veronica tissed. One of these days, he'd learn to stop underestimating her. "Logan, I'm going to do this. If Wallace won't go with me, I'll just call Weevil. I have a plan. I'm not going to drive up to the front gate, like chum in the water. Would you trust me, please?"

Logan clenched and unclenched his jaw. There was that damn trust word again. And it was obvious her mind was set. He knew he should go himself; he was being childish. But to him it wasn't just a house. It was a symbol of everything horrible in his life. It was every beating he ever endured. It was every fight his parents ever had. It was his mother's drunken oblivion. It was his father's torrid affairs. And now the thought of walking in there, knowing Lilly had slept with Aaron not ten yards away. Knowing one stupid mistake led to her death. No, he couldn't be in that house. "Can you go with her, Wallace?"

Wallace recognized the signs of determination too. The edge to her voice, her shoulders squared, ready to fight. Better him going with her than Weevil. The more time Veronica spent around the biker, the more ideas he knew the guy was getting about her. "I wanna hear about the plan. I'd like to know what I'm getting into before I agree."

Veronica huffed, but proceeded to tell them both about her plan to break into Logan's house. Logan was forgetting a few things. Veronica did know the security code for the house and once she was inside, all she had to do was press a button to open the front gate. They'd take her father's car. She'd grabbed the extra set of keys from the office. They'd park at the back of the estate where she would climb the fence. There was one section covered by trees that wasn't easily seen from the street. She knew she would set off the silent alarm, but she was sure she could make it to the house in time to reset it before the police were notified. Once the front gate was open, Wallace could drive in. After she was done packing, she'd lay down in the back of her dad's car with a blanket thrown over her, and Wallace could drive right back out. The reporters wouldn't look twice at the young back man coming-and-going from the Echoll's house. They'd probably think he was a deliver guy. It was simple really.

"Yeah, you just want company." Wallace shook his head, but agreed to go. When they were done at the hospital, Veronica would call him and he'd meet her at the Grand.

When Wallace and his mom left, Veronica and Logan went back into Keith's room, but Logan silently sulked through the rest of the visit. At one point his cell rang. He looked at the number, frowned, then said, "I need to take this." He was out of the room before Veronica could ask him who it was.

She was staring at the door when Keith asked, "How's he doing?"

Veronica swung her head around. "Better than I expected. He's mad at me right now." Keith cocked an eyebrow, waiting for more details. Veronica sighed heavily. "It's so stupid, dad. He needs clothes! He doesn't have any. Instead of going to his house to get his things, he wants to buy new, which is a complete waste of money. We've been arguing about it since last night."

Keith nodded in understanding. "He doesn't want to go back to the house."

"And I don't blame him; the place is filled with horrible memories." Veronica never understood how the Kanes continued to live in their house. Lilly'd been killed out by the pool, for christsake! She couldn't deny Logan his feelings about his house. "But he doesn't have to go. I'm going. I'm taking Wallace," she added quickly before her father could argue, "and I know how to avoid the reporters, but he's still mad at me."

It was an argument the kids would work out on their own. Keith wasn't worried about it. "How are you doing, honey? How are you really doing? You're taking care of Logan, I can see that, but are you taking care of yourself?"

"Logan and I are taking care of each other," Veronica said, but there was sadness in her voice.

"Come here." Keith patted the space next to him. Mindful of his IV and his injuries, Veronica carefully laid down next to her dad. Keith wrapped his good arm around her. "Now, tell your old man what's bothering you."

Veronica quietly played with the covers for several minute, through which her father patiently waited. Finally she spoke. "Last night, every time I closed my eyes, I was going through it again." Keith squeezed her arm encouragingly. "I was on fire and I kept calling for you, but you weren't there to save me." She wiped away a few tears. "I opened my eyes and I knew where I was, knew I was safe. But then I'd close them again, and..."

Keith knew the experience wasn't something Veronica would easily put behind her. And he wasn't sure what he could say to help. Hopefully time would work it's magic and the fear would lessen. "You look like you slept though."

"Logan stayed with me. He's the only reason I got any sleep." Veronica thought the honest answer was the best. And she wasn't ashamed to admit what happened. Well, most of it. "As long as I knew he was there beside me, I could close my eyes, and the nightmare didn't come back. I guess I... I just needed someone near me. I couldn't be alone."

Keith should be conflicted right now; he expected it. But the twist of emotions didn't come. Yes, he should be anger at them for sleeping in the same bed. The one thing Logan promised him wouldn't happen. But there was still a tinge of fear in Veronica's voice, and Keith could only imagine how scared she'd been reliving the events of that night over-and-over again. His little girl had needed comfort and Logan had provided it. No, he wasn't angry, but he was concerned. "Veronica, sometimes when people go through a traumatic experience together, they develop feelings for each other based on the experience. And when life settles back into a familiar routine, they realize the attachment isn't real."

Veronica gazed up at him. "Pop psychology?" She pushed herself up on her elbow. "I expect better from you."

Keith motioned for her to lay back down. "Well, I don't know what to think, honey. For a long time, a very long time, all I knew was Logan was on your hit list. He was making your life hell at school. Then I found out from Don Lamb of all people, that you and Logan are dating. I find this out the same day we discover evidence linking him to Lilly's murder. And now, suddenly, you're living in a hotel suite with him. I think I've been extremely tolerant, but I'd like a little background information."

Veronica chuckled against her father's chest. Oh, he'd been more than tolerant. He'd been the absolute antithesis of her usual parental figure. And he hadn't mentioned killing Logan once. Maybe he deserved some information. "It started two months ago. Logan thought... he thought his mom was still alive. He asked me to find her. He's finally accepted that she jumped, but he needed... more time. I guess, the time we spent together, it was a turning point for us. Slowly moving away from enemies and back to being friends. Then a few weeks ago, we started dating. We didn't tell anyone. We weren't sure what was going on between us, and Duncan was missing. We wanted to tell him before anyone else found out. Then we fought about some things." Veronica had no intention of telling her father about Shelley's party. "I... I was reluctant to trust him. But Logan let me work it out on my own and we were okay. Then I found out he'd come back the day of Lilly's murder, and things deteriorated again." Was it only days ago they'd stood on the beach yelling at each other?

"You two have been dating for almost a month?" Some PI he was. Keith thought Veronica was dating Leo this whole time. What else didn't he know about his daughter's life?

"Close." Well, they'd been circling each other for almost a month. Maybe even longer, if Veronica really thought about it. "Every time I think he's the bad guy, I find out later he isn't. All I want now is a chance to see... to see if we have a chance. So I'm trying to be less judgmental and he's trying to be less of an ass. That's where we are." She pushed away from her dad again. "He's a good person, dad, but he's been through a lot."

"We all have, Veronica." Keith touched her cheek, and wished for the millionth time he could take away the past year of her life. "I remember what he was like before Lilly's death too. He wasn't a bad kid. A little obnoxious, but not bad. But he's at a very dangerous point in his life, honey. This thing with his father, it could push him over the edge. I don't want you hurt if he makes bad decisions based on his anger."

"I know. That's why I think he needs me. Needs us. He needs people he can count on." Veronica sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "He needs to know he's not going through this alone. I don't want to lose him, dad. Not the boyfriend, but the person. I don't want Logan to lose himself. He can be caring, and sweet, and amazingly thoughtful. He's protective, and loyal, and funny, and even goofy sometimes. I don't want all of that fading away under layers of anger and pain. It would be such a waste."

Keith could already see the signs of blossoming love in Veronica. It scared him, the way it scares all fathers. He only hoped Logan could live up to his daughter's expectations. "You can only do so much for him, Veronica. When it comes down to it, the decision is Logan's to make."

---TBC