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You Don't LoVe Me When I Cry

Wallace pulled the car into the underground garage at the Grand. He parked a few spaces down from Logan's Xterra, turned off the ignition, and sat. Veronica hadn't said much on the ride back to the hotel. All attempts he'd made at polite conversation were answered in one word mumbles or silent shrugs. He knew her mind was working overtime, trying to process what happened at the house. She thought her life would get back to normal, whatever that was, once she found out who killed her friend, but it seemed there were even more questions now. He turned in the seat to look at her and said the first thing that came to his mind. "Logan's sister is a bitch."

As unexpected as the statement was, it was exactly what Veronica needed to hear. Laughter bubbled up inside, and she couldn't stop it from coming out even if she wanted to. She laughed so hard, tears streamed down her face. "Trina was just so.... so.... ugh! It's a good thing she hid while we were loading the car. One more snotty remark and I was going to smack her!"

"Yeah, well, when she started talkin' about Lilly, I got a little worried." Wallace was amazed the two hadn't come to blows. Veronica was more a talker than a fighter, words getting her out of most situations, but everyone has a limit. He knew Trina pushed Veronica close to hers. "You handled it better than I thought you would. Do you really think she knew about Lilly and Aaron, or was that just to mess with you?"

"Usually, Trina loves to get her digs in to Logan, but she'd never say anything bad about her dad, so there's a good possibility she knew." Veronica leaned over, resting her head on Wallace's shoulder. "If she'd told someone about the affair. If she'd told Logan. If he'd had the chance to confront Lilly. Maybe it wouldn't have stayed a secret Aaron was willing to kill for. Or if we knew, maybe Aaron would have been a suspect at the beginning. Maybe he'd be in jail now and Logan's mom would be alive."

Wallace dropped his arm over her shoulders and offered her what comfort he could. "That's a lot of maybes and ifs. You can't play that game. It isn't going to help. You did the best you could, Veronica. You found out the truth."

"I know, but... I didn't think it would be this messy. And I didn't think I'd be mad at Lilly. Logan got mad at her the other day, and I watched him, and I knew why he felt that way, but I didn't. And then today..." The tears that were falling now weren't from laughter. Veronica roughly wiped them away, determined to be strong. "I know some of what Trina said is true and I am so mad at Lilly. I'm just so damn mad at her!"

"I never met her, but from what I heard, even I know she wasn't a saint. She made mistakes, mistakes that hurt people. You're allowed to be mad." Sometimes Veronica put the people she loved an a pedestal, like her dad, and when they weren't what she expected them to be, she got crushed. Her standards were high and hard to live up to.

No, Lilly wasn't a saint. Veronica tried to picture her with a shiny gold halo, but the red horns peaking through her hair kept getting in the way. "She was my friend and I loved her, but I'll never understand some of the choices she made. Some of the secrets she kept."

Wallace wasn't going to touch that. He didn't think Veronica would appreciate being reminded how many secrets she kept on a regular basis. Besides, something else was bothering him. Something Trina didn't quite come out and say. He might not be a detective, but Veronica was rubbing off of him. "You don't have to answer this. I mean, I'll understand. It's probably none my business anyway, but... does Logan's dad hit him?" He felt her stiffen next to him, which was answer enough. He did he best to play it off, not wanting her to feel guilty. "It's not difficult to figure out. He's a punch first kind of guy and usually you learn that behavior at home. And Trina hinted Lilly should have known Logan's dad was violent."

The past few days had stretched Veronica to her limit. Coming up with a plausible excuse was beyond her at the moment. Besides it was Wallace; she knew he wouldn't say anything and she had to tell someone. "They should have protected him! His mom, his sister. Lilly! Even Duncan knew. God, I should have seen it!" She pulled away, her hands fisted in her lap, angry with herself now. "I can't remember the last time I saw Logan without his shirt in public. He never got in the pool with us. Even when he surfed, he never took off his wetsuit. And there were all those cracks he made about his dad, subtle hints I was too wrapped up in myself to notice. I was the sheriff's daughter! I knew better!"

"Stop! Just stop!" Wallace grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. He didn't want her going there. "You are not going to take the blame for this. His dad hit him; his dad is to blame. And his mother for not stopping it. You weren't wrapped up in yourself. You were fourteen, fifteen years old? The last thing you expect is your friend's parents to be abusing them." Her eyes slid away and he shook her hard until they met his again. "It isn't your fault. Do you understand? It isn't your fault. You know now and you want to do something about it. That's what makes you different from his sister and Lilly and Duncan and whoever else suspected and did nothing. It's what makes you Veronica. Logan's lucky to have you in his corner."

Realistically, what Wallace said made sense. Veronica knew domestic abuse cases were difficult. She'd seen her dad deal with plenty of them. Kids were too scared to say anything. Adults didn't want to get involved in other people's 'family business'. And if the abuser knew how to hide what he - or she - was doing, knew how to inflict pain without leaving easily visible marks, it could go unnoticed for years. But this happened to someone she knew. It happened to Logan. And she couldn't stand that. Anger welled up in her again. "I meant what I told Trina. He's not going back. I don't care what I have to do. I'll hide him if it comes down to it. But Aaron is never, never getting close to Logan again."

"Whatever it takes, I'm on board," Wallace told her, without a trace of hesitation. "And I know your dad's going to say the same thing." He dropped his hands from her shoulders. "I don't know what to make of Logan. Up until a few days again I sorta pegged him as the school jerk and nothing more. And I'm still worried he's going to hurt you again. But what his father did to him, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. So whatever help he needs, whatever help you need. You know I got your back."

Veronica smiled through her tears, her emotions a whirlwind inside her. She was surrounded by amazing people and she wasn't sure how it had happened. "I know you do. You're my BFF."

Wallace groaned next to her, breaking the tension in the car once again. "Please don't say that in public. You make me sound like a girl."

Veronica chuckled as she reached into her messenger bag to grab a small make-up case and a few tissues. She couldn't go upstairs looking like she did. Logan was already worried about her and a tear stained face would only spur his protective nature. He'd either call Trina and bitch her out, or he'd take his frustration out on Veronica and she wasn't up to another fight. "We can't tell Logan what Trina said. He has enough to deal with right now."

Wallace watched her wipe the mascara from under her eyes. If it was him, he'd want to know, but it was Veronica's call. She knew Logan better than he did. "What about you? You've got an awful lot to deal with too."

"Yes, but I have you. And dad. And Logan. Logan has... me." She put in eye drops, catching the excess with the tissue. She could cover some of her appearance with make-up, excuse the rest by saying she was exhausted, but blood-shoot eyes would be a dead give-away. "It isn't going to be like this forever. Things have to settled down eventually. I can be strong until then." She glanced over at him, knew he wasn't happy. "And then, I'll lose it. Once I know everyone else is okay, it'll be my turn. I'll be a real girl about the whole thing. Crying, yelling, uncontrollable emotional outbursts. I promise."

A smile played at the corner of Wallace's mouth. "Don't go overboard. You have a reputation to protect. No one will know what to think."

"My reputation." Veronica dropped her hands into her lap and sighed. "I want a vacation from my life. I want... I want to be a normal seventeen-year-old girl. I don't think I could stand it for long, but for a week maybe? No murder investigations, no cheating spouses, no raving psychos. Can I have that, please?"

The softer side of Veronica Mars - her inner-marshmallow. Wallace nodded. "We'll try to work it into the schedule."

--- VVV

They drug Logan's suitcases to the employee elevator, not bothering to call a bellman, then down the hall to the suite. Finally, Veronica thought. She swiped the key card through the lock and nudged the door. But it flew open unexpectedly, and Logan, looking extremely tense, stood in front of her. "We have... company."

Confused, Veronica peaked over his shoulder. Mac, Meg and Dick were sitting in the living area. Mac looked uncomfortable, Meg looked anxious, and Dick looked oblivious as usual. Veronica stifled a groan. So much for a quiet evening. And she was looking forward to a relaxing bubble bath in the Jacuzzi tub. "A little help here?"

When the two girls saw the luggage, they immediately got up to help. Dick didn't move. Everyone took a piece and deposited it in Logan's room. As the others walked out, Logan held Veronica back, he dropped his voice to a whisper. "About ten minutes after I got off the phone with Trina, people started showing up. I didn't know what to do. Dick I could kick out, but Meg and Mac. I..."

"I called to let them know I was alright. With the story on the news, I didn't want them to worry. But I didn't know they'd show up." Veronica didn't want Logan to feel like her friends were crowding him. He knew Meg, but Mac was a dark house, and she'd already wrangled Wallace into helping her with a problem Logan considered his personal business. She didn't want to force too much on him at once. "Is it okay that they're here?" she asked worriedly.

"It's fine that they're here," Logan assured her. "I didn't know if you wanted anyone here." He rubbed the back of his neck. They talked and talked, and yet, there was still so much to talk about. "We're still trying to figure this out." He motioned between them. "And I don't know what you've told them. If you've told them anything. I don't know if you're ready to..." He let the sentence trail off.

Veronica stood on tiptoes and kissed him. "I'm ready if you are." A slow smile spread across Logan's face at her words. "This is us, and those are our friends, and we'll figure it out. No more hiding."

Logan wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer, but as he looked down at her, the smile fell from his face. "What's wrong? You look like -"

"I'm tired," Veronica said. If he pushed, she'd have to tell him, but she didn't want to. "It's been a long day, but it was worth it. I brought you stuff!" she ended happily.

Logan wasn't convinced. Her skin was puffy and she had on too much eye make-up. He'd seen his mother use that trick before. "I'm going to kick them out, and then you're going to tell me what happened at the house."

Veronica should have known better. "Not now, Logan, please." She rested her head against his chest. "If I say Trina was being Trina, will you let it go? We could both use a little downtime. And personally, I'd like to talk to my friends. Find out what else is going on in the world."

"There are other things going on in the world?" Logan asked in mock-horror. "Surely you jest. Everything revolves around us, didn't you know that?" He ran his fingers through her hair. Trina was being Trina? Oh, he could guess what that meant. But Veronica was tired, that wasn't a lie, and she had said please.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Ego." Veronica laughed as she stepped back from him. "I have a surprise for you. I picked up something at the house I think you'll like."

Before Logan could ask what it was, Dick grabbed his arm and drug him away. "Dude! Ronnie snagged your PlayStation! I'm so gonna kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto!"

Logan looked back at Veronica, not sure they were done talking, but she waved him away. "That's the surprise."

Wallace held up to games in his hand. "GTA III or San Andreas. What are we playing?"

"San Andreas, man!" Dick's chest puffed out. "A totally superior gaming experience."

Mac sidled up to Veronica and said sotto voce, "I didn't know he knew such big words. He got a 1350 on his SATs." Veronica turned to her, an eyebrow cocked in question. Mac shrugged, no guilt in her expression. "The school keeps a list on the server. I might have... peaked."

Veronica shook her head and chuckled. No computer was safe with Mac around. "So did you 'peak' at my score too?"

"I have to keep an eye on the competition. 2230. Twenty points higher than mine." Mac was a little miffed when she first found out, but she'd let it go. She knew Veronica studied as hard as she did. They both needed scholarships to attend college. But, other scores she found very surprising. "Would it interest you to know Logan beat both of us? 2280, with perfect scores in Critical Reading and Writing."

Veronica watched Logan goof around with Dick and Wallace as the three set-up the gaming system. Her boyfriend, the idiot savant. "He's smart. He just doesn't want anyone to know it." Logan wasn't a bad student, he got C's and B's, but she always knew he could do better. As much as he acted the slacker, he was a veracious reader, preferring biographies to anything else. The quote of the day on his voicemail came mostly from things he'd read. But if anyone asked, he'd tell them he had a book of quotes he thumbed through each morning in the bathroom. He was such a dork.

Logan and Dick were having a shoving match over the wireless game controller. Mac couldn't believe this guy scored better than she did. "He could get into the college of his choice with a score like that. If I was him, I'd be bragging about it."

Dick had Logan in a headlock, and Meg headed over to the girls for safety. "That is ridiculous. What are you two talking about?"

Meg had perfectly lovely smile plastered on her face, but Veronica again noticed the anxiety in her eyes. Something was wrong. "SAT scores. Mac and I were comparing. Care to share?"

Meg sighed heavily. "1840, but I'm going to take it again. UCLA requires a higher score and I think I can do better. My dad's already enrolled me in a summer prep course. Do I want to know what the two of you got?" The girls shared their scores and Meg groaned. "I should have known. Probably the highest in the class."

"Actually," Mac started to say, but was cut-off by Logan.

He came up behind Veronica, wrapping his arms around her again, wireless controller in hand. "Are you talking about me?" he asked in very bad southern drawl.

Veronica titled her head back and smiled up at him. "I have to admit, jamming your elbow in Dick's solar plexus was a sweet move worthy of discussion, but we weren't talking about you."

"We were talking about SAT scores." Meg answered. "The brainiac twins are in the twenty-twos," she pointed to Mac and Veronica. "And I got a 1840. What did you get?"

"1700," Logan said casually as he dropped a kiss on Veronica's cheek, dismissing the subject from his mind. "Thanks for grabbing my PlayStation. I'm going to hang with Wallace and Dick for a while, if that's okay?"

"That's why I brought it. Go have fun." Veronica pushed him back to the boys. She noticed the confused look on Mac's face at Logan's lie. "I told you, he doesn't want people to know. Not his style." She linked her arm with Mac and Meg. "Let us leave the men to their fun, gentlewomen, and retire to my boudoir."

--- VVV

Mac was rather uncomfortable with the tension in the room. She'd heard rumors at school. Wasn't sure they'd reached Veronica yet. The last part of week, Veronica was pretty much in her own world, distracted by, what Mac now realized, was the culmination of Lilly's murder investigation. But Meg looked like she was about to spill, and Mac did not want to be around when it happened. "I think I'm gonna go."

"No," Veronica said hastily. She wasn't sure what was going on either, but she had a feeling she didn't want to be alone with Meg. "Actually, I'm glad your here. I grabbed some case files at the office earlier, and I need to do some work, but I don't trust the security of the hotel wifi. Can you take a look?" Her eyes pleaded. "With dad in the hospital, I need to stay on top of things. I'm not sure when he'll be able to work again."

It was the mention of Keith Mars that got to Mac. She'd only met him once, but she liked Veronica's dad. And thinking of him lying in a hospital bed, covered in burns because he'd saved his daughter's life, pulled at her heartstrings. Oh, Veronica was good. Damn her. "Always a pleasure to serve." Mac held out her hands. "Computer and passwords, please." Veronica gave her the laptop, and wrote down the access code for the hotel wifi.

Once Mac was situated, as far away as possible Veronica noted, she turned her attention to Meg. The girl was fidgety and nervous, and she wasn't making eye contact. Bad signs all around. Veronica hoped it wasn't what she thought it was, but she jumped in with both feet. "I'm a surprised to see you. I mean, it's great you stopped by, but I didn't expect it. I thought you'd be at the Kane's with Duncan."

Tears instantly welled up in Meg's eyes at the mention of her boyfriend. "We broke-up!" she bawled as she threw herself at Veronica.

Bingo! Sometimes, Veronica hated it when she was right. She patted Meg's back sympathetically. "Oh, Meg, I'm so sorry." She did honestly feel bad for Meg. She didn't want to ask, but she knew she had to follow the script. "What happened?"

Meg's hands tightly gripped Veronica's arms, her explanation coming out between sobs. "The night of Logan's party... when Duncan walked outside... he trashed his car... he was jealous... and now he won't talk to me!"

So it happened before he found out they weren't related. A smidge of Veronica's own guilt faded. She laid her cheek against Meg's head, her tone comforting. "He was shocked, that's all. Logan and I didn't mean for everyone to find out like that, especially not Duncan. And now, with everything else going on... None of this is easy for him. Give him a few days, then try to talk to him again. I'm sure -"

"No!" Meg said defiantly. "It's over! I know it!" She raised her head just enough to meet Veronica's eyes. "He's still in love with you!" she whaled and collapsed forward once again.

And all of Veronica's guilt came rushing back. Over Meg's shoulder, she saw Mac's eyes open wide and her mouth pucker into an 'O'. Veronica silently begged for help, but Mac vehemently shook her head. Veronica's eye's narrowed, but went back to concentrating on the hysterical girl in her arms. "Meg, what's going on with Duncan is because of Lilly, not me. Just give him some time to deal with things." She hid the fact that she had no confidence in what she was saying. God only knew what Duncan was thinking right now.

Meg completely ignored what Veronica said. "I'm not mad at you. This isn't your fault. I've always known he wasn't over you." She sniffled and looked up at Veronica again. "But what I don't understand is if he wants you, why did he break-up with you in the first place?"

Because he thought I was his sister, Veronica thought, but not an answer she could give Meg. "I'm telling you, it was seeing me with Logan. That's all this is. Duncan's... he's... it's like buyers remorse. He saw me with another guy, and he got jealous. And now, with Aaron being arrested for Lilly's murder..." Yes, she kept going back to that. "His mind is really screwed up right now."

Meg shook her head. "But he didn't act like this when you were dating Troy," she pointed out.

Troy. Veronica forgot about him. It was so easy to do. "But Troy isn't his best friend. Logan is. It's different. And he got blindsided with it. Logan and I were keeping our relationship a secret because we wanted to tell Duncan first. We knew he'd... react. That party messed up everything." More blame she could lay at Aaron's feet. The bastard!

"Don't lie to me. Please!" Meg pulled out of Veronica's arms and sat up straight on the bed. "And don't make excuses for Duncan. Don't tell me its shock. Or he's confused. I'm sure Logan's confused too, but he's leaning on you, leaning on his girlfriend for support. Duncan wants nothing to do with me! It's like I don't exist anymore." She roughly wiped away her tears. "I'm not stupid. I know he's still in love with you."

"Meg... I don't..." Veronica's shoulders slumped forward in defeat. No, Meg wasn't stupid, far from it. And she knew there was a ninety percent chance what Meg said was true. When Veronica told Duncan they weren't related, she knew it probably sent him into a tailspin. And if circumstances were different, she might even try to resurrect their relationship. But she wanted to give this thing with Logan a shot. Beyond all the craziness, the simple fact was she liked being with him. "If Duncan still has feelings for me, he hasn't told me. But I'm with Logan now and I'm not leaving him. If Duncan thinks otherwise, and he broke-up with you because of it, I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Veronica, for being honest. I knew I could count on you for that." Meg took a couple of shaky breaths. "My other so-called friends haven't been as... nice about it. And I needed to talk to someone who..." She squeezed her eyes shut and her face contorted as she began to cry again. "It's not just the break-up. I think I'm pregnant."

"Oh!" The one word escaped from Mac's mouth before she could stop it. She quickly bent her head over the keyboard and typed faster.

Veronica shot her another nasty look, then focused back on Meg. "You think or you know? Meg, have you taken a test?"

"No. But I'm late, and I'm never late." Meg wasn't nervous anymore, just defeated. She stared at the ground, her head hung in shame. "What am I going to do, Veronica? My parents are going to kill me."

Veronica wrapped her arm around Meg's waist in support. "Let's deal with one problem at a time." Her mind furiously worked through their options. Obviously, Meg needed to take a pregnancy test. There was a drugstore a couple blocks down. She didn't like what she was about to do, but she didn't have a choice. "Mac, stop acting like your not involved. You're in the room; you're involved. Besides, we need you to go buy a pregnancy test."

"Me?" Mac asked horrified from her corner of the room. She knew her little outburst was going to get her into trouble "Why me?"

Veronica glared at her. "Meg's not leaving the suite until we have an answer, and she's in no condition to go to the store. If I go, it's going to be on the six o'clock news. I have reporters following me everywhere. This is one thing I can't ask Wallace to do. And I'll be damned if we're going to involve Logan or Dick." She pulled a handful of crumpled bills out of her pocket. "Please, Mac? You're the only one who can go get it. You know I wouldn't ask if there was another way."

Mac sighed, but grabbed the money out of Veronica's hand. "For the record, this falls outside the scope of favors I feel comfortable doing for you."

Meg looked up, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. "Mac's right, Veronica. This is my problem. I shouldn't drag you two into it."

Veronica looked at Mac, her eyes communicating exactly what she was thinking. Mac shuffled her feet. "It's not a big deal, Meg. Really, I'll go. Veronica's right. You can't, and she can't, and the guys don't need to know."

Meg gave her a watery smile. "Thanks, Mac. I know we haven't exactly hung-out or anything, but Veronica always says you're a good friend." She laid her head on Veronica's shoulder. Mac mouthed 'I hate you' to Veronica. Veronica smiled and silently said 'I know'.

---TBC