WARNING: ZDAR/YAOI Don't read if you don't like this stuff, and if you don't know what it is don't read :P

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, I just love the characers

Synopsis: Well, they finally did it, convinced Dib that there were no such things as aliens, using unconventional means. Now Dib doesn't know what's real, and what isn't anymore. Is he Zim? He must complete his mission!

A/N: this is my first ZADR and Yaoi, please R/R :D

Rated M for intense violence/slash and of course yaoi

"Dib? Dib can you hear me?" the voice was odd, with a slight German accent. Dib blinked and slowly looked up. He looked around, but could only see blurred images. "Ah, let me help you with these." The voice leaned forward and placed his glasses on. Everything became a bit clearer.

"Where am I?" his mouth felt so dry, and his voice sounded raspy even to his own ears. Dib raised his hand to his head and could feel the bandage wrapped around it. He was propped up, sitting in a hospital bed, soft clicks and beats of machines could be heard as they monitored his breathing and heart rate.

No, no, not this, he didn't want to remember. The hospital room, that place.

"I am Doctor Zimmerman Dib. Can you tell me what you remember?"

All he could feel was the pain from his head. "About the explosion?" The doctor prompted.

Dib blinked, yes, there was a huge explosion neither him nor Zim had anticipated. Imagines were starting to form, the panic of being pinned down, the smoke, not breathing.

"I had to stop Zim, he had come up with a brilliant plan this time, he was going to.."

"And who is this Zim?"

"He's the ALIEN I keep trying to WARN everyone about! The one that wants to destroy the Earth!" why was he the only who could see that?

Dr. Zimmerman eyes shifted slightly behind Dib and he felt a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Settle down son, no need to get so agitated." Professor Membrane told him

Dib looked up at his father, a small hope that maybe, just maybe. "You- you believe me?"

Membrane sighed and looked over at the Doctor.

"Yes, I see what you mean." The Doctor said "Very erratic behavior, delusional tendencies, the blatant need and cry for help. I believe this treatment will work, in fact we can begin the sessions as soon as possible."

"Excellent", Membrane responded, "Then we can put all this paranormal nonsense behind us."

Once again Dibs hopes were dashed that anyone would believe him. He looked down at his hands.

"Please Zim, I don't want to remember anymore, you promised."

Green arms wrapped around Dibs middle as Zim laid his head on his back. "oh but Dib-worm, I have to remind you of what they did to you, to us, sometimes, and what we yet have to do." Zim brought one of his hands up to cup Dibs check and turned him towards him. "Do you want them to take this away too?" The Irken gave him alight kiss, just enough to always make him want more.

"No" he whispered. But when he looked up Zim was gone and he was all alone in the room watching the scene play out once more.

Dib made small whimper noises and Zim just laid there and held him. His once finest adversary had been reduced to this, not even a shell of his previous self. Even through his gloves he could feel how feverish Dib was. Zim was just going to leave him there on the bed, but unconsciously, Dib had reached out and grabbed a hold of the Irk. And now he stared down into a face that seemed plagued by nightmares and demons.

Zim placed the tip of one glove into his mouth and pulled it off, freeing his hand. The air felt cool on his skin as he ran his hand through Dibs hair. The silky threads so soft. He tried to smooth that distinctive piece of hair in with the others, but it sprang back up undeterred. Zim let his hand wander down Dibs face. He pulled off the glasses and set them aside. Dib seemed to have settled down with Zims attention to him. His breathing seemed to be a little more controlled, steady, and Dib sighed. First Zim traced the spot right above the eye, it was a small wound and had closed up already. Had that only been two days ago? He touched Dibs check, his nose. Humans had the strangest anatomy, all of their appendages that seemed to stick out of them. Zim rested his fingers lightly on the boy's mouth.

He had been here long enough to know what Dib-worm had did, he had seen things he wished he hadn't seen on television, on the "internet", and at skool even. But for the first time, he hadn't been disgusted by it, it more than surprised him, and also confused him.

He had been waiting for two years to get revenge, to make Dib pay for what had happened, and when the human-stink finally shows himself he has been doing HIS mission. He hadn't searched for Dib at first after that final battle, he had his base to put back together, and since his computer, his Irken technology had been wiped clean, almost obliterated, like a fast acid virus it was gone. Then when Dib never showed up at skool he started to look for him. But he couldn't find him. Not even that dreadful Dib-sister unit. So he went to their house to find it completely empty, and Zim had been left seething and waiting.

And now he held the stupid huumun in his arms, this Earth boy who would thwart his every plan, now believing and acting like HE was the invader. He pulled his hand away from Dibs lips. Dib tried to snuggle closer and his heat intoxicated Zim. He brought his hand back up to Dibs chin and using his thumb pulled down gently so that Dibs lips parted and Zim slowly lowered his mouth over his.

He took his time, just letting his lips rest against his, just feeling that slight touch. Then moving gently over the non responsive ones. He slipped his serpentine tongue into Dibs mouth, letting it explore to his content, tasting. The feeling was exhilarating, the tingling sensation from Dibs saliva, at least it didn't burn, seemed to spread through him, making him want more. Dibs gave a low moan and arched into Zim slightly.

Zim let his bare hand run down the bare chest of the boy, feeling the smooth texture, he could feel the ribs under the too thin body and the heat radiating off it. His hand wrapped around to Dibs back and pressed his body into his as he devoured Dib. The Earthlings body was reacting to the attention Zim was giving it. Zim pulled back and closed his red eyes, panting, he let his antennae brush against Dibs forehead.

The filthy human had become more dangerous than he had ever been before. Zim had to suppress the growl that was forming within him. He had to move, get away from him.

"Hmmmm, I luuuve this show." Gir laid on his stomach, his feet kicking the air, hands under his chin as he watched. Zim narrowed his eyes at the bot. Gir laughed hysterically and flopped down on the bed, giving a few bounces. "wheeeee"

Zim sat up and pulled away from Dib. "GIR! Gather the equipment and take it back to the base."

Girs eyes lit up red and he saluted "Yes master", then just as fast went back to their aqua color and he rolled off onto the floor and out the door.

Yes, too dangerous.

Dib bolted up right, a small cry escaping from him. The sudden motion sent a wave of nausea through him and he promptly leaned over and puked what was I his stomach, not that there was much in there to begin with. He sat back up ad wiped the back of his hand over his mouth ad looked around the room. Fear shot through him, where was he? He was on some cold hard table, wires were hooked and taped to his hands, body and head. Dib yanked them off and scrambled off the table, practically falling as he backed up to the wall.

No, this wasn't the hospital, couldn't be that place, since he had destroyed it. He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. He reached a hand up to his head, to that scar and realized that for once, it didn't hurt, just the slightest hint of a buzz. He smiled, gave a small laugh, which turned into a hysterical outburst that he just couldn't control.

He had been laughing so hard, he hadn't noticed the door slide open, not until Gir flung himself at his leg and began laughing hysterically along with him. Dibs laughter slowly faded back to chuckles but he couldn't keep the grin off his face.

"Gir?"

"Hiiii big head." Gir grinned up at him then proceeded to climb up Dib until he rested on his head.

"GIR!" Zim yelled "Don't break him."

But Gir didn't seem to mind as he began to snore.

"Zim?" Dib reached up and took the little bot off his head. He slowly walked towards Zim, his steps hesitant he reached out a hand then let it fall, to afraid to find out the truth. Gir just rolled up and curled more into dibs arms, giving a small sigh.

"Yes yes Dib-smelly, it is I Zim, no need to thank me for my greatness of saving you, again." Even though his voice suggested otherwise.

Dib dropped Gir as he pulled Zim towards him in a fierce hug. Gir didn't seem to mind in the least as he climbed back up on Dibs head.

"Ahhhkkk you and your touching!" Zim grunted. But he didn't pull away. Dib pulled back and looked at Zim.

"Your real right? Your really here, right?"

Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib a moment.

"The question is are you here Dib, hmmm? Is that stupid human still inside that big head of yours?" Zim poked Dibs forehead.

"oww", Dib seemed to think about it a moment, "ask, ask me a question."

Zim pondered this a moment, but he knew what he wanted to ask. "Where did you go two years ago?"

Dib frowned as he tried to think, and found that he could actually concentrate without pain shooting through him. But nothing came to mind. "I'm not sure", he said slowly, "some place I hated, something…" it wasn't pain that stopped him, he just didn't want to remember and the images fell back into the blackness. "I don't know" he whispered not looking at the Irk.

A soft clack of metal had Zims spider legs out and raised him so that he was face to face with Dib. He grabbed a hold of Dibs face and made him look at him. "They stuck something in you, in that big head of yours." Zim let his other hand run over that spot. "But Zim is trying to fix it without, damaging you. Too much."

Dibs eyes widened, yes there was something like that, because no one believed him, and because no one believed him they tried to fix what was not broken. "A behavior modifier chip, they thought I was crazy, blamed me for that explosion. They thought this would be the only way to cure me." The words just fell out of his mouth as he realized what he had said.

"The explosion WAS your fault!" Zim stated angrily. I would have been finished with my mission if you hadn't ruined everything." The anger was starting to come back into him. He raised himself up on his spider legs to tower over Dib.

Dib took a step back, then another as he looked up at the Irk. "You were the one who used such unstable chemicals, how was I to know it was going to react that way? If you had put a little more thought into the idea, not been so rash, than none of that would have happened!"

Zim slammed Dib against the wall, spider limbs blocking him in place. It jarred Gir who sat up and stretched. This annoyed Zim and he smacked the unit off of Dibs head. Gir looked up and began to cry, "I want to sleep on the biiiig head."

"You couldn't leave it alone huuman, could you. And in the end where did it get you? Even then no one believed you. NO one is EVER going to believe you." Zim seethed

Dib could only stare at Zim his jaw clenched. What was he supposed to say to that? That Zim was right? He knew Zim was right, but he wasn't about to admit it. "Then why fix this?" Dib asked as he tilted his head slightly. "Why not just finish me off while you have the chance?"

"I will, oh I will Dirtworm, after I get the information I need out of your pitiful brain first." Zim brought his face in close to Dibs face."You belong to me now."

"Yea, playtime!" Gir squealed

"NO Gir." Zim snapped at him

"ohhh" Gir whined.

Imagines slowly rose and faded in Dibs mind and he shuddered at some of them, but he was pretty aware at that moment at how much he had lost it, even though the lines were still blurred, and real and imaginary was meshed into one, he was sure of one thing. His chest tightened and his breathing seemed to pain him.

"I've belonged to you for a while now Zim." He whispered, he looked away afraid of what he would see. "Even as they…Even when they screwed with my mind there was one constant reality, the one thing I could believe in…was always you. The more they tried to erase you, the stronger you became, until it was like, we were one and the same, we were inseparable." Dib shrugged "even now it feels as if I am you and I, don't know what Dib was like anymore. Not that it matters."

"Someone needs a huuuug." Gir latched onto Dibs leg. Dib couldn't help but smile at him, but he still couldn't meet Zims eyes. He'd have enough disappointment and rejection in his short life time.

Zim placed a hand under Dibs chin and forced him to look into his red eyes. They bored into him.

"I will keep this Dib… for now."

Dibs heart pounded as he looked into Zims eyes, searching, trying to glean any information from those red orbs. But almost too quickly Zim released his hold and pulled back.

"Get a shirt on, all your touchy feely nakedness is disgusting."

Dibs stomach growled very loudly in the room. Zim sighed and he turned to head out the door.

"And Gir.."

"Yes master?"

"Feed the boy, we have work to do."

"woot, I'm going make some waffles." The SIR unit squealed and ran out of the room.