A/N: Hi again, I'm back with the next chapter (insert cheer here ;-) )

First of all thank you again to all my reviewers. Your feedback is so wonderful, I love reading it. You are my little inspirations when you review!

To those who haven't reviewed yet, please do so, I'd love to hear your opinions also.

So back to the story. Christine's POV here as E & C face their first night together in their new house.

Enjoy my lovelies! (",)

The First Of Midnight Memories

Sometimes I believe that all of my best - and worst - memories occurred at night.

In some ways darkness became my companion; as it had been his constant companion for so long.

A lifetime of midnight memories…

- Extract From Christine's Diary

The darkness came rather suddenly. I was so used to the glittering lights of the city that I suppose it had been some time since I truly experienced the darkness of night. There were no lights here in this wood. Only the lamps in our house kept the pitch black of night at bay. I could not help the slight tremor of fear that that notion brought.

As a child I had had my head filled with dark stories and fairytales by my beloved Father. So often, in these tales, such darkness heralded all sorts of terrifying events. I had always feared that one night that nightmarish darkness would claim me. So foolish of me to still allow the echoes of a childhood fear to invade my thoughts.

As I stood there at the front window, looking out into that impenetrable blackness, I couldn't help but laugh a little. Perhaps my fantastical notions had not been so foolish.

The darkness had claimed me after all, had it not?

"What has amused you so, little one?"

I couldn't stifle the small yelp that Erik's unexpected entrance caused. I didn't think I would ever become used to his silent movements.

"Everything and nothing." I smiled wistfully.

Little Lotte thought of everything and nothing.

One of Papa's stories. A favourite of mine and R…

It was best to leave that thought unfinished. That pain was still fresh, and I would have to grieve it in private.

Erik was silent at my response. I began to worry that perhaps he had guessed the significance of my words and was not taking it well. It would remind him of all that I wished he would forget.

I turned to face him, fearing the worst. He was closer than I had originally thought.

We had had such a pleasant day that I hated the idea of it being spoiled now.

Erik had come to me when I called out to him, and we had remained together for the rest of the day. He had told me stories and performed wonderful little tricks for me.

It had blissfully kept my mind off everything else. We had discussed no serious matters. We had talked of nothing difficult, for which I was shamefully glad.

There would be time for all that later, but for now I allowed myself to be weak and avoid it.

With Erik it is possible to forget everything else. He is the Master of his craft. I find it difficult to tell just when he begins to draw me with him into those breathless moments.

There are times when no one else exists in the world but he and I. Other times even we don't exist in the world. We are transported to another realm at the Master's command. It is within these moments that one of two things happens; we are either stripped down to our very essence and are truly ourselves, or we are caught up in the magic and can become, for a time, someone we would never dare be.

Erik enjoys that, I know.

It is exhilarating but, I will not lie and say that it isn't a little terrifying also.

I wonder does he even know the power he has over me? Do I?

I was delightfully entertained for the day but he did not offer to sing for me, or I for him. This omission puzzled me. I don't know why but I was troubled by it. Erik always wished to wrap me up in his music, to draw my soul from me in song. Why had he not today? I resolved to keep silent on the matter. For the time being…

I searched his face for the consequences of my words but found not a hint of bad feeling. A flicker of emotion was quickly covered by a mask of gentle indifference. Erik was very good at that. Much of his life had been defined by masks, I was only beginning to realise that. I think I was only really beginning to truly know Erik.

Despite his lack of response, I still felt I had to soothe him.

"They were only words, Erik. I meant nothing by them, you know that."

Such sadness my words provoked in those burning eyes of his, it took my breath away. He began to drift away from me to the door.

"Words are a powerful thing, my dear, make no mistake about that. They can torture you…they can even kill…or haven't you realised that yet?"

I could almost hear my sweet, misguided words to Raoul playing back in Erik's head. Each one like a death blow. I felt like biting off my tongue! Why hadn't I learned yet that words would never be only words with Erik? Many things would never be so simple.

I thought he meant to leave me as he reached the door.

"Erik…"

My hand ached to reach for him but only managed to twitch uselessly at my side.

He paused by the doorway.

"I would like to think that not all your words mean nothing. They are very important to Erik, you know. Yes, I would like to think that at least some you mean and hold as dear as Erik does. At least some…"

Just when I would reach a point of unbearable frustration with a situation, he would say something like this, making my heart bleed even more for him.

It was moments like this that allowed me to see past his defences and love him just a little bit more.

"Of course, Erik…" I whispered, holding back my seemingly ever-ready tears. "I hold the words that matter dear. Especially words that are dear to you…or haven't you realised that yet?"

He looked at me for an impossible amount of time. Merely looked, and yet I felt such emotion pass between us. In the blink of an eye, he was before me again. The sadness in his eyes was replaced with an all consuming tenderness. Quickly he reached out and took my hand and squeezed it gently. I stood as still as I could lest I frighten him away.

"Time for bed I believe," He said, his voice suddenly low, "It has been a long day. There will be time for words tomorrow. Now, off you go, my dearest."

He reached up with his free hand to pat my head fondly.

I assume this had meant to be a rather generic but affectionate move. However, his hand seemed to have other ideas as it slid down from my head to caress my cheek. The air seemed to weigh heavier all of a sudden.

Again, I tried to stay still, but I couldn't help it as I leaned ever so slowly into his caress. Feeling this, Erik seemed to remember himself and drew back abruptly. He looked so unsure of himself. I was worried he would begin to apologise, and so I did the only think I could think of doing…

"Goodnight Erik." I left.

As soon as I had reached the second floor a new thought struck me.

Where exactly was I to sleep? There were after all three perfectly furnished bedrooms. And, as this thought struck me, another occurred to me. One infinitely more important. Where would Erik sleep?

This had somehow never occurred to me before. Surely, seeing as how he could barely touch me, he wouldn't insist we share a bed. But then again, one was often never entirely sure where Erik was concerned.

Did he think us as good as married now that I had chosen him? Obviously, my choice had meant that I would remain with him forever. Erik's love demanded it be forever. I knew this. But was that as close to marriage as Erik and I would ever be?

Would he now demand his husbandly rights?

I was unsure how I felt about either of these things. Erik had no strong belief in God, no bond to him. But I had. If I were to spend my life with a man and give him all that I was, I would wish it to be within the bonds of holy matrimony. It was not only personal preference but it was what was proper. But what of our relationship thus far had been proper, in any way?

And if he came to me asking that we…that he and I…consummate our eccentric relationship, what would I do then? It was difficult to deny Erik. Would I deny him?

There was no doubt that a dark thrill stole through me at the thought, but that didn't eliminate the fear. We were still so new to romantic intimacy as a pair that it seemed impossible. But Erik was a passionate man…and I did so crave his caresses…

I was now thoroughly confused and nervous. It was too soon, I knew that, and I was sure that Erik did too, yet still…

There was one thing I knew for sure however, if, after a time Erik did not propose marriage I would be very hurt indeed. It seemed silly.

We were practically married, weren't we?

Yet I couldn't help but long for it, to have one little normalcy in our volatile lives. To be a married couple in the eyes of God.

When the time was right of course. There was still much for us to work out I knew.

I wondered if he didn't, would I ever have the courage to bring the subject up?

I just had to push my thoughts aside. They would get me nowhere tonight.

It was late and I was rather tired. Eventually I retired to my favourite of the three rooms, changed into my nightgown and climbed into the sinfully comfortable bed.

There was nothing to do now but wait and see…

I am unsure how long I lay there willing myself to sleep. I was exhausted by now. But sleep continued to elude me.

I was waiting for him. I knew that I shouldn't have been but I was.

But waiting for him to do what exactly?

It was very late when the door to my room opened almost soundlessly. I knew it was him. He moved like a shadow himself as he approached my bed. I couldn't help but be mildly amused as I witnessed his shock at my being awake.

I must have been half delirious in my exhaustion for I found myself daring enough to face him in this uncertain moment. I didn't pretend to be asleep, instead I sat up and I spoke to him

"Yes, Erik? Is something the matter?"

Why, I do believe the poor man was properly thrown by my calm tone. Had he expected hysterics should I discover him? It was a few moments before he could form a sentence and even then he stuttered. It was not like Erik to allow his nerves to be so blatantly obvious. He had yet to attempt to hide them. Perhaps he was very tired too.

"Christine, I meant no harm…no offence…I merely, that is to say…" He sighed in embarrassment.

His attempts at explanation had me hiding a smile, but his next words melted my heart with their innocence.

"Forgive me, I only wished to see that you slept peacefully. I worried that you would have troubled dreams…you have been through so much, and I just wanted to be sure…that you were at peace. Just to see you at peace for a moment. Perhaps fix your blankets had they required it, lest you became cold…I would not have taken any liberties! You must believe that…I…"

He lapsed into silence, worn out by his long speech. I smiled at him to soothe him, knowing that he could see it even in the near darkness.

No, I knew Erik would not have taken any liberties. That would have required him to touch me…And Erik was hesitant at best to do that.

I sighed. Why did I suddenly feel so damn frustrated!

"I know Erik, you needn't apologise. I would never accuse you of such a thing. It is fine, really. But…I cannot help you with either of your wishes, for my blankets are quite fixed, as you can see, and it shall be some time before I can sleep. So…what else is there for you to do with me now?"

I don't know why I said what I did. It had to be my fatigue talking. My words had sounded so suggestive! Even I was shocked, and I could tell Erik was too. What exactly was I trying to get myself into?

Was I daring him to ask to share my bed? I didn't want that, I wasn't ready…we weren't ready, right?

Yet, I couldn't help but long for a return to the intimacy we had shared at the Opera. That kiss…it had been perfect, but much too short.

When Erik held me I didn't have to think, I didn't have to doubt…doubt how he felt, how I felt. I didn't have to doubt because I simply knew.

But had my words suggested that which we weren't yet ready to face? Would he agree? Would I? I had not forgotten that Erik was a dangerous man to toy with. Either way, it was not my wish to toy with him. I wanted him to trust me and accept my love.

Slowly, he began to approach me where I sat in my bed. I couldn't help the tremor of fear that ran through me as I clutched my bedclothes tighter to me. I braced myself for what would happen next, what ever it would be. This was my doing. I almost laughed; it seemed I had made my bed and now would have to lie in it…quite literally.

But once again, Erik surprised me…and made me feel quite ashamed for my fearful thoughts.

As innocently as a little boy he reached for my hand and asked nervously, "I-I would ask only that I may hold your hand until you fall asleep. That way Erik could be sure that you were peacefully resting."

I felt tears well in my eyes at the sheer beauty of that tender request. How I loved him, painfully so. Misreading my tears, he tried to draw away, "If it is too much…"

"No, Erik!" I gripped his beautiful hand fiercely, "No, of course not! These are not tears of sadness or fear. I…when you are ready to listen, I will explain their origin."

He still looked somewhat confused but he did not attempt to draw away again.

I cannot say that the fact that he had not requested more did not affect me somewhat. Foolish though it seemed, I was beginning to doubt the manner of love which he had for me. Did he not love me…in that way? I tried to push such thoughts aside.

Turning to look at him, I noticed that he was merely standing by my bed, holding my hand. It couldn't have been comfortable. I was feeling exceptionally bold tonight and so I spoke up once again, (albeit more shyly than I had intended).

"Erik, you cannot be comfortable there. You may…you may get onto the bed beside me if you wish, and…and hold me instead of just standing there. Y-You could hold me, not just my hand…"

Such powerful emotion rose in his eyes at my suggestion. They seemed to glow even brighter in the darkness. My God, I had never seen his eyes so alive!

To think I had doubted the manner of love he had for me! No, after this thrilling display of raw emotion within his burning eyes, there could be no doubt!

He loved me as a man loved a woman, I was sure of it in that moment.

He loved me fiercely.

There was still fear in the thought but I knew that I need not worry of Erik forcing himself upon me. It was not in his nature. He would never do that to me.

"It would not be wise at this point, little one." His voice was a charged whisper, "I will remain here. Sleep, I will watch over you."

I sensed that it was best not to push him, so I closed my eyes dutifully.

But the tension did not leave the room, and it was rather intoxicating.

For it was also in that moment that I knew I had begun to crave his passion, and his presence. To see his eyes flare up in such a way, feel his voice flow through me as his movements mesmerised. I wanted him to kiss me again. Just kiss me, but I knew that this night would not be the night.

I wondered how long I would be able to go without such physical affection from him. I had never imagined myself as the type to crave such a thing. But everything was different with Erik, myself included.

He had no idea of the magnetic pull of his personality. He was so consumed by his face; he was as good as blind at times.

It seemed I had my work cut out for me, but I was determined to make him see.

He brushed his thumb over my hand in a soft, steady rhythm and I soon found myself being lulled to sleep.

But, just as I drifted off, I could've sworn I felt his lips brush mine.

Or was I merely dreaming?

Sooo, what ya thinking? (",)

x Restless And Tempted x