Title: All The Wrong Reasons
Author: MistressKiko
Rating: M
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!

THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. You have been warned.

"Mirads" are my made up creatures.

Shizuo's POV

"I guess so," Tom sighed, unaware of the sudden tension hanging over the room, "How's it going with you and Izaya?"

"... just don't answer it," Izaya whispered, looking toward the door.

"Hey, Tom, I'm going to have to call you back again," I muttered into the phone, grabbing my pants and slipping them on.

"Again? You sure are busy lately."

There was another knock, a little harder this time.

"Sor-"

My voice left me when another cut through the air. It was muffled through the door, but every word could be distinguished.

It was just in a split second. I watched with unyielding dread as Izaya whipped his head around to stare at me. Desperation written on his features, his eyes glittered with a fearful sadness that made my blood run cold.

And then he was gone.

I was staring at the sheets with unblinking eyes.

Shizu-chan started barking furiously in his prison of boxes.

"Shizuo?" Tom's voice filtered through my ear. My hand went slack, and the phone bounced off the bed before clattering on the floor.

"I wish you were in front of me."

The words rang like bells in my mind. I staggered forward, my steps loud against my ears before I hastily undid the lock.

There was no reason Izaya would leave my side. Only if he was being forced to. And the only voice he had to listen to was...

I wretched the door open.

A man stood there. He turned to me with an utterly calm expression, contrasting greatly to my rapidly accelerating heartbeat, a cigarette tucked in between his lips. Izaya was standing in front of him, still naked, with his face turned down and away from me.

Look at me!

Tell me what was happening!

"Shizuo Heiwajima. I give my thanks for taking care of him. I would say sorry for inconveniencing you, however," he spoke, a trail of smoke intertwining in the air as he blew out. The circled lips drew back into a slimy smirk, "Looks like you were having fun."

I shook with fury.

"You-" I growled, reaching forward with straining muscles.

How fucking dare you even insinuate I would use Izaya like that? I'm not like you, you piece of shit! I will kill you-

"No!" Izaya yelled, and he was suddenly in front of me, grasping at my hands. So consumed with anger, I almost grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the way, before remembering this was Izaya, and I would never do that.

"Move," I spat dangerously. He looked like he was about to cry, and it was killing me inside, fueling my wrath.

Izaya shook his head, turning to stare off into the distance. I followed his gaze, looking around.

Fuck.

Gunmen were scattered around the pool area and parking lot. Of course Shiki would play dirty.

"A man of reason. Good. I wish you would bring me the jewelry box," Shiki spoke again. It took everything I had to quell the urge of tearing him to shreds. When Izaya disappeared and reappeared with the jewelry box in hand, a harsh helplessness spread through my veins.

What the hell could I do?

How was I any match for someone who had complete control?

But Izaya was mine.

I wasn't going to just stand here and watch.

"I wish you would give the jewelry box to me," I ordered, and Izaya's eyes widened, "You can still answer to my wishes, right?"

It was the only thing my mind could formulate. Anything. I would do anything to buy time or... something!

Something to keep him here.

A wobbly smile overtook Izaya's lips. He glanced at Shiki, and I saw a flash of anger on Shiki's face before Izaya was suddenly right in front of me. My heart leapt as his face grew closer, almost in slow motion. My gaze was transfixed on the moisture collecting at the corners of his eyes.

"I wish you'd take the jewelry box and go home!" Shiki near-yelled.

I felt a whisper of Izaya's lips.

And then he was gone.

No.

If he wasn't here, he couldn't hear me. How was he supposed to get back to me if he couldn't hear me?

My lips trembled, that barely existent kiss still hovering over them like a ghost.

I stared at the man who took him away, blinded by my conflicting emotions of anguish and vehemence.

If I just killed him, Izaya would be free. I would destroy the entire city until I found him.

In a numb desolation, I lurched forward and grabbed Shiki's white suit. This building was two stories high, right? Not very high, but it would hurt, wouldn't it?

I smashed his body against the medal railing that separated him from falling to the cement. There was a loud explosion, and my leg stung. I was more concerned with wrapping my hands around that ugly neck and squeezing.

Another shot. Another sting.

He was leaning backwards over the railing, gasping for breath. I felt movement around my waist, felt the coldness of a gun barrel against my stomach, felt his pulse faster and faster, and black spots soared through my vision when a deep pain assaulted my senses.

My stomach was burning, and all I could think of was Izaya.

Izaya.

Izaya.

I felt to dazed to fully fling Shiki over the railing. Damn shame. An inky blackness was all I could see as I slumped, my body shivering against the cement.

Izaya.

I'm sorry.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

What the hell was that racket and why wouldn't it stop?

I cringed as the sound continued.

And what was that smell? It smelled like a hospital; like that antiseptic shit.

I opened my eyes and immediately wished I hadn't.

Ow, ow, ow, that was too blindingly white!

"Shizuo?"

I opened my eyes again, this time slowly blinking them open, and turned my head. Tom stared back at me, looking worried. I then glanced around the room. It was a hospital. And I was lying in bed with one of those cheap, paper gowns over me.

In fact, Tom was in one of those flimsy paper gowns too.

"Hey, how do you feel?" Tom asked me, sitting down in a chair next to my bedside.

I felt groggy, really. Like they had doped me up on drugs. Question was, why was I here?

Izaya.

I grew still as the pain from... well, I didn't even know how long it had been... came rushing back to me.

So I didn't die?

"How fucked up am I?" I muttered, closing my eyes.

"You were shot three times, Shizuo. Thank God I stayed on the phone and heard those gunshots! By the time the ambulance got there you had lost so much blood," Tom's voice was shaking, "What happened?"

I didn't want to remember what happened. I didn't want to be reminded of how utterly useless I was; how I failed to protect him. I promised him, damn it.

I couldn't remember the last time I cried. But the tears came, swimming in my closed eyelids and squeezing out to leave trails of warm salt on the sides of my face.

"Shi- Shizuo? Hey, hey, are you hurting somewhere?" I heard Tom ask. I couldn't answer, "Hey, nurse! Somebody get in here! I think he's in pain!"

There was some shuffling.

"Tom, what have I told you about leaving your room? You can't be in here until you're released!" I heard a woman accuse.

"Sir, are you in pain?" Another voice, much closer.

"I'm not leaving until I know he's okay!" Tom exclaimed.

"You will leave right now," the nurse ordered.

"Tom," I said, turning to look at him. The tears on my face changed with the angle, and one lone drop trailed over my nose, "When are you getting out of here?"

The nurse stopped shoving Tom out of the room at my question.

"Tomorrow," Tom answered me.

"Shiki. I don't care if it seems like a hopeless cause. I want you to find out any and everything about him," I said in determination. Tom looked a little lost, but nodded hesitantly.

The nurse gave him one last shove out of the room.

I turned my attention to the nurses, cooperating with their questions and treatments. I didn't even bother to try and wipe the tears from my face. The trails of water dried and imprinted my skin.

Izaya, I will find you. I don't care if I have to defy all odds to do it. You told me mirads do not know the meaning of their existence. I will make one for you. You were born to find happiness, like any other human being on this earth. Magic or not, you're no different from them, and you deserve nothing less. You told me no one had ever treated you like that, and you called me special because I did. That only solidifies your place with me.

Just bare with it a little longer.

Just a little.

I will see a smile on your face again.

Oh gosh, I broke my own heart. WHAT IS THIS ANGST UGH.

Lucrecia84: You were, unfortunately, right ;-;
RukawaGF: I made Shizuo slip some pants on first? xD
Otter and Fox: Yes, mirads must actually be able to hear the command in order to follow it, contract or not.

... you know what? Poor Shizu-chan. I mean really. He's like.. still trapped in a box? Lmao