Title: All The Wrong Reasons
Author: MistressKiko
Rating: M
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!

THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. You have been warned.

"Mirads" are my made up creatures.

Shizuo's POV

Nothing.

Nearly four excruciating, useless days had passed. I was still confined to a hospital bed, and had been knocked out for one of those days due to the stitches trailing up my stomach ripping open again. The nurses said it was because my body was stressed and I couldn't sit still. Which was the complete truth. How could I not feel stressed out when Tom kept calling me at the end of the day saying nothing had changed? I was actually amazed the stitches hadn't torn more than once.

Shiki was like an enigma. He was brilliant enough to cover his tracks so well throughout the years that nothing could be traced. Tom had even sent investigators to the home residence on file, but they had not found Shiki himself there, and absolutely nothing incriminating was left inside his home. I suggested setting up a trap, but then came the problem of where we could even find Shiki himself or anyone connected to Shiki, for that matter!

I was going through what Tom had been recently going through, absolutely restless. But it went beyond that. Just like before, when I felt completely helpless as Izaya stood a few feet away looking stricken with grief, now I felt helpless being stuck in here when I should be helping Tom out. Maybe there was something he was missing? I trusted Tom with my life, but there had to be something he was missing, right? No human being was that good at making himself invisible.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking. I wanted there to be something. Or, at the very least, I wanted to be out of this bed and search the town high and low until I found Izaya. This time I would be prepared, and not completely taken off-guard like before.

I wanted to hurt myself, really. Why hadn't I done what Shiki did? I could have wished Izaya away somewhere before Shiki did! Granted, Shiki might have killed me on the spot. But that's what he had been planning when he blasted a bullet through my stomach, right? I had lived. I could have lived then, too, and Izaya would have been safe, at least for a while. I had just let him go; I let him disappear in front of my eyes.

I begged Tom to continue trying. He was becoming just as concerned as the nurses regarding my body strength, and tried to convince me to wait until I was out of the hospital. I thought he'd lost his mind. That wasn't even an option. There wasn't much time left. I didn't even know how much time there was left! Izaya had always just said a month. Was that literally four weeks, or a calendar month, and if so, was that thirty or thirty-one days? Either way, that left me a ten to thirteen day window before Izaya could possibly be contracted for another year. And with the way things had been going with this investigation, that seemed like a bleak amount of time.

Why hadn't I talked with Izaya more when he started opening up to me? I shouldn't have just let important things slide like that, but damn it, I hated the way he looked when he refused to answer me. Almost like I was personally wronging him for bringing it up.

I took a deep breath, sinking my shoulders into the hospital pillows. My gaze traveled over the white walls, the white sheets, the white lights...

"Which means it sends me into my own little world, I guess. It's nothing special. Pretty much white nothingness."

Right now, this room seemed like the inside of the jewelry box to me.

"I want to live in a brick house! Oh, and we have to get one of those Wiis! And one of those awesome chocolate fountains!"

I closed my eyes and smiled bitterly.

"I already told you, it's not about the energy anymore. I touch you because I want to. No one has ever treated me like this, Shizuo. You're special to me."

I could almost feel the heat of his hand against my cheek.

"Take me, Shizuo."

Ugh, how many times would I find myself drowning in these memories? I was going to go insane if I didn't get out of here and do something soon.

The phone beside me rang, and I hurriedly picked it up.

Tom's voice was familiar and apologetic.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. In just two hours, it would be the fifth day without him.

I tried my best, I really did. Throughout the next few days, I slept as much as I could. I tried not to move much, and gladly received any disgusting concoction they wanted me to swallow. The minute they let me get up and walk around on my own, I demanded to be released. Of course, they were adamantly against it, saying I would end up damaging myself or ripping out the stitches again. I would have to take the chance. The treatments were over with, so they could not keep me, resting period or not. I was out by the end of the seventh day.

It shocked me when Tom showed up with Shizu-chan in his arms. He explained he had gotten everything from my hotel room, and he had almost thought the dog was a stray at first. Shizu-chan seemed incredibly happy to see me, jumping up on my legs and wagging his tail.

"I wish you were magical. With your nose, you could sniff him right out, couldn't you?" I asked, petting him.

"There's something I don't get. You say Shiki took Izaya... why don't you just file a missing-person report?" Tom asked.

"... it wouldn't do any good," I replied, inwardly sighing. Of course that would be the normal thing to do... if the person you were looking for was actually a human.

"I don't understand."

"I don't expect you to. I'm running through the streets tonight. Are you coming?"

"Shizuo, what are you going to accomplish? No one is going to outright tell you they are with Shiki even if you were to ask! And I doubt Izaya would just be running around if he was kidnapped."

"I have to try. Nothing else is working," I replied.

"I feel like you aren't telling me something and it's bugging me. You've been so vague with everything! You're only concerned with finding Shiki, and his name has only been brought up since Izaya has been with you. Are you sure Izaya wasn't working for Sh-"

"Don't even say it. It's not like that at all," I sighed, rubbing at my temples, "Whether you're coming with me or not, I'm going."

He followed.

I hated the downtown area. It was crawling with the filth of the world, hiding in the shadows of the night. But I crawled in right along with them, searching for anything. I was well aware of how big the world was. Shiki could have taken a plane to France by now, and I would be none-the-wiser. But if I just sat around and watched the clock tick by, I would never be able to forgive myself.

I wasn't sure I'd be able to forgive myself even if I found him.

At the end of the night, when light began trickling back into the sky, I harshly kicked at a can sitting in the middle of the alley. It soared through the air and made quite a racket as it ricocheted off the wall and bounced on the ground.

Tom looked worried.

"... I'll look through everything one more time," he promised. My fists clenched.

A six to nine day time span was left.

That was enough time for something to pop up, right?

It had to be.

I turned back, ready to go to Tom's office and help him look through every corner of every document again.

Then I saw a group of people rounding a corner. They were like any other people around here. A bunch of men who were probably up to no good.

But that one in the back. That short guy with the spiky brown hair.

"I've been meaning to ask... well, I have asked but you never answered. How did you get a hold of the jewelry box?"

"... some guys had it. They pissed me off, so I knocked one of them out, and the other ran away. I thought the jewelry box was something he was going to pawn off for cash," I explained.

"The guy who had it; was he short with spiky brown hair?" Izaya asked, sounding amused.

I was suddenly running, ignoring Tom's questioning remark.

Paying no mind to the alarmed group he was with, I grabbed the guy by his collar and swung him around.

"What the fu-" His eyes widened when he looked up at me. His nose was crooked. I had probably done that when I punched the fuck out of him, "Wha- wha- hey! I didn't do anything this time!"

He was flailing uselessly in my hold. His group of friends didn't seem to be very loyal, for they were slowly backing away from the scene.

"You're coming with me," I growled, practically dragging him away from the group. Tom caught up to me, looking at my captive in surprise.

"Who is this?"

"Our lead," I answered, shoving the dude back into a wall, "Now, you're going to tell me where Shiki is or I'm going to have to get violent."

"I... I don't know-"

My grip tightened on his collar.

"Don't give me any shit. I know you're one of his lackeys, now where the fuck is he?"

"I DON'T KNOW," he shouted, shaking his head vehemently and cowering back against the wall, "I'm serious! That bastard has nothing to do with me anymore after I lost his jewelry box!"

Damn it, it looked like he was telling the truth. And it would only make sense for Shiki to cut any ties with him after losing something so valuable.

"You knew there was a mirad in there, right? Alright then who is Shiki planning to pass the contract down to?"

His eyes grew wide and his head started shaking again.

"He'll kill me-"

"I will kill you," I growled menacingly, jabbing my fist against the middle of his neck.

"Alright, alright!" He exclaimed, voice slightly strained from the pressure against his windpipe, "There's this guy named Hiroshi Ito! He's pretty much too stupid to understand the value of a mirad, so Shiki was going to use him!"

"If you are lying to me, I will hunt you down and rip off your fingers one by one, you hear me?" I growled. He nodded quickly, and I threw him to the side. He almost tripped before running away.

"The name doesn't ring a bell," Tom said.

"Let's get to work," I replied with a new-found hope in my chest. Finally, something to go on.

Izaya, thank you. I really didn't get a good look at him in the alleyway that night. If you hadn't jogged my memory about his looks...

Tom and I returned to the office.

Yes, it IS the Hiroshi from ep 3 with his "YO YO YO hey man!" xD He had no last name mentioned, so I just made one up.

SHIZU-CHAN IS OKAY.

Omg, this chapter had no Izaya at all. This saddens me.

GintaxAlvissForever: It was stated that mirads cannot heal or harm people. Harm also equals kill XD

AweSomeNess123: o/o Thank you so much~!

leeemon and RukawaGF: I- I don't think I could do that to Izaya, and since this is in Shizuo's POV, he'd have to be WATCHING for me to write that and... nuuu ;-;!

To all: I love you 8D