This oneshot takes place during season five when Bette is with Jodi and Tina is dealing with her attraction towards Bette. Disclaimer: I do not own Bette, Tina, or any part of the L Word. Also I do not own any part of Friends and I would like to thank the show for giving me some inspiration for my oneshots.
Just Friends, Part Five
(The entire gang is at the Planet. It is another busy night filled with drinks and unsubtle flirting)
(Alice leaves the table for a moment and comes back with an entire tray of drinks)
Alice: (screams) Wooh! Drink up, lesbos!
Tom: (feigns hurt) Excuse me?
Alice: (laughs) Fine. Drink up, lesbos, bisexuals, trannies, and gay men!
Tom: (smirks) Much better.
Bette: (picks up a shot Alice brought over) What exactly is this, Alice?
Alice: (shrugs) I don't really know. The waitress said it would have us on our asses all night.
Bette: (puts the drink back down) Then I'm going to decline. I have work in the morning.
Jenny: (takes a shot and passes it to Shane) We all have work in the morning, Bette. That's not stopping any of us. Right, Shane?
Shane: (having just done the shot blinks in confusion) What?
Molly: (laughs) You okay, babe?
Shane: (shakes head) Fuck. That's strong.
Bette: (laughs) I'll stand by what I said earlier. I'm not trying it.
Jodi: (smiles) Come on, Bette. Live a little.
(Jodi does a shot and Alice whoops)
Alice: Ha! Okay if your girlfriend did one, you have to do one now, Porter.
Bette: (shakes head, laughing) I don't think so.
Max: We could all do one?
Shane: (shakes head) Not me. That was way too strong.
Alice: Oh stop being a pussy, Shane. Drink up!
Shane: (glances at Molly) Help me!
Molly: Oh no, babe, I'm having fun.
(Molly does a shot)
Alice: Okay, Porter, straight Molly-
Shane: (interrupting) Straight?
Alice: Okay, gay Molly did one. You have to do one now.
Bette: (laughs) No…
Shane: (takes a shot and nudges it towards Bette) Yes…
Tina: Guys if Bette doesn't want to do one then she doesn't have to.
Alice: What if Tina did one with you?
Tina: What? I'm not doing one! I have a kid to go home to!
Alice: (rolls her eyes) So? Angelica has seen you drunk before.
Bette: (glances at Tina) You've been drunk around our daughter?
Tina: (laughs guiltly, taking two shots) Okay, Porter, we'll do it together.
Bette: (laughs) Fine.
Alice: Okay one… two…
Everyone: Three!
(Several drinks later…)
(Almost everyone has left except for Bette, Tina, and Alice)
Bette: (laughing) I should really go home.
Alice: (giggles) Oh shut up, Porter.
(Alice leans backwards in her chair and topples over)
Bette and Tina: Alice!
Alice: (laughing) Who put the floor there?
(Bette and Tina begin laughing)
Bette: Need a hand, Alice?
Alice: Not from you, Porter. (stands up and falls back down) Damn that waitress was right. These drinks are keeping me on my ass.
Tina: (stands up and wobbles before bending down to help Alice) Here, Al, let me help you. (Tina leans to far forward and ends up collapsing on top of Alcie) Woops!
Bette: (laughing) You two are cheap drunks.
Alice: Well you're a cheap fuck, Porter.
(Alice manages to get to her feet and helps Tina up)
Tina: (clutching onto Alice) God I haven't been this drunk since…
(Bette and Tina exchange a glance)
Bette: (smirks) Since that New Year's Eve get together Shane put together.
Alice: (shocked) What? Where was I?
Bette: You were too busy fucking Gabby to come, remember?
Alice: (pauses and laughs) Right.
Tina: Honestly that night made me want to stay in every New Year's Eve.
Bette: (laughs, taking another shot) I'll drink to that.
(Tina reaches for another shot, but Alice stops her)
Tina: What?
Alice: I'm cutting you off, TK.
Tina: What? Why?
Alice: (serious) I think you've had too much.
Tina: But you've had more than me!
Alice: (laughs) But I can hold my liquor!
(Bette takes the last shot and downs it, Alice and Tina looking at her in shock)
Bette: (smirks) And I can hold my liquor better than both of you.
Alice: (grins) Fuck you, Porter. I'm going to take a piss.
(Alice leaves and Bette and Tina look at each other before cracking up)
Bette: (when she sobers up) God, Tee, I've missed this.
Tina: (laughing) Missed what, babe?
Bette: Us. Just laughing and being with everyone. It's been awhile since we've all gone out.
Tina: (sighs) Yeah. When did things get so fucked up, Bette?
Bette: (gives a sad smile, motioning to a waitress to bring her and Tina a beer) I don't know, Tee. I don't know.
Tina: Do you think that if we had tried harder then we could have worked out?
Bette: (shrugs) Maybe, but I think maybe us separating was what was meant to happen. I mean we are actually getting along now and I can call you a friend which I haven't been able to say for almost four years now. We've both moved on.
Tina: (looks away) Are you happy with Jodi?
Bette: (sighs) Yes.
Tina: (turns her attention back to Bette) Are you as happy with her as you were with me?
Bette: (looks down at her hands) Don't ask me that.
Tina: (moves towards Bette) Why?
Bette: (sighs) Because… because…
Tina: (whispers) Because why?
(Bette takes Tina's face and gently kisses her, Tina tangling her fingers in Bette's hair. They bring each other closer, trying to feel as much as they can of each other before Bette breaks away, staring at Tina in shock)
Bette: What… what just happened?
Tina: I think it was pretty clear what just happened.
Bette: It was just a drunk kiss, right?
Tina: (hurt) What?
Bette: It didn't mean anything.
Tina: (sighs) Are you sure?
Bette: I don't fucking know. I just know that it can't mean anything.
Tina: Why?
(Bette doesn't answer)
Tina: Is it because of Jodi? I don't know why you could have cheated on me after seven years together, but you can't even think about cheating on Jodi after seven weeks together.
(Bette looks away)
Tina: Are you in love with her, Bette?
Bette: (whispers) You can only be in love with one person.
(Bette gets up and leaves just as Alice comes back)
Alice: Uh Tina, what the fuck just happened? Why did Bette just storm out of here?
Tina: (takes out her purse and puts a couple singles on the table) I don't know. Listen, Al, I need to get out of here. I need to clear my head. Have fun!
(Tina leaves)
Alice: What the fuck?