A/N: Thank you so much for your patience!
bomb7979 - A warning - this chapter, as well as the next one or two, are full of conversation. This story simply can't be done without them.
For the rest of you - thank you for your continued support.
As Tim met up with Ducky, he felt better. He had no regrets in asking for the M.E.'s help.
"Hello, Timothy." Ducky greeted him as he joined the older man at the booth he'd gotten for them.
"Hey, Ducky. Thanks so much for agreeing to this." Tim offered with a smile.
"Nonsense, I'm honored you would ask me to help. I do hope it is something I will be able to help you with."
"I have no doubt that you're the perfect person to ask, Ducky."
"I will admit you have peaked my curiosity. Timothy. In all the years you've worked here, you have yet to seek me out for advice in such a manner." Ducky said with a twinkle in his eye.
"I'm sorry about the secrecy, but this is something I really don't want or need the others finding out about, especially Tony." Tim said.
"Not even Jethro?" Ducky asked in surprise.
"Excluding Gibbs. I'm not keeping secrets from Gibbs. Please don't think that I am. But, at the same time, Ducky, if you can avoid it, I would rather you not repeat our conversation back to him. I mean, he's part of what I need to ask your advice about. Oh, jeez. Ok. Give me a minute, please." Tim rambled before he realized he was rambling and stopped himself.
"Goodness, Timothy. Calm yourself. There's no rush, is there?" Ducky asked.
"Ducky, how much do you know of what happened between Abby and I before I joined the team? Up through the first two months of when Gibbs had me transferred?" Tim jumped in where he thought it would best answer some questions.
"Timothy, you must remember that we are all aware that the two of you were dating before you joined Jethro's team. It is also public knowledge that your dating relationship was ended because of Jethro's Rule #12." Ducky told him.
"Is that all that you know about it?" Tim asked cryptically?
"Yes, Timothy. Your relationship is not something that Abby was very forthcoming about. I assumed it was because you both worked for NCIS and she had no desire to give anyone within the agency fuel for fodder." was the M.E.'s response.
"Rule #12 wasn't the reason we ended our 'relationship', Ducky. Abby was." Tim said in pained honesty.
"Oh?" Ducky responded in surprise.
"She wasn't ready to get serious and I was." Tim explained.
"That must have hurt. Tell me, is that why you are so overprotective of her even now?" Ducky asked knowingly.
"I can't help it, Ducky. I've never stopped loving her, no matter how much she hurts me." Tim said quietly.
"Timothy?" Ducky pushed gently. This was territory the young man had never ventured into with the M.E. before and Ducky had no intention of stopping Tim from letting out whatever he needed to express.
"Ducky, she's always known that her ending things with me the way she did broke my heart." Tim tried to explain himself.
"Timothy, why don't you tell me what happened?" the older man encouraged.
"She was driving us home from the movies. As calmly as if we were talking about the weather, she said. "I'm ending this." The younger man's feelings on the subject were still palpable.
"What did you say to her then?"
"I asked her if she was serious. She told me she was ending it because I was too serious and she wasn't anywhere ready to even think about getting serious. Then she dropped me off at my door. We didn't speak to each other again for three weeks unless it was at work and about work." Tim's shocking declaration shocked Ducky.
"Yet, you've continued to carry the torch for her all this time." Ducky quietly expressed his understanding.
"Not something I can help, Ducky. Even when she's thrown every date and new boyfriend in front of my face like she enjoyed opening the wound all over again, I couldn't shake how I feel about her. I've tried to date other women. Every last one of them has turned out to be a psycho, a criminal, out for vengeance, or just out to use me because they figured out I'm a successful writer."
"Which brings us to the real reason behind your request for my help, I take it?" Ducky gently tried to bring the conversation back around now that he had background information.
"Not quite yet." Tim said apologetically. "You remember when Jethro attacked me?"
"Of course, young man! That was a most dreadful day for you."
"More than you know, Ducky. More than you know." Tim supplied. "Gibbs told me to 'take the evidence back to Abby' So, not only did I get squat when it came to whether Gibbs was even worried if I was okay or not. I mean obviously he wasnt' cause he told me to drive back to the Agency, right? But, when I got the dog back to Abby, she turns on me; calls me "bad McGee" like I was the criminal. She ruined my expensive jacket because she could. Out at the other dog's burial site, well you were there; you heard how disrespectful she was to me. On top of bad she treated me through that whole case; she basically bullied me into taking Jethro because she couldn't. It was like she didn't care one bit how she'd treated me or that I'd gotten hurt, or how I felt about it. She acted like none of what she'd said or done, had even happened! It's like she forgets or doesn't care that I have feelings, too.
"Have you ever attempted to talk to her about it, Timothy?" Ducky asked calmly, trying to calm the young man down.
"No. All I would get for my trouble would be some condescending remark about needing to get over it. Look at what happened when that lunatic ex-boyfriend of hers was after her and I was supposed to be protecting her at my apartment." Tim supplied.
"Yes, that didn't go very well did it?" Ducky sympathized.
"Ducky, I told her not to open the door! The only reason I went out to the car in the first place was because she wouldn't stop pitching a fit over not having her toothbrush that night! And when push came to shove, who got the rap? Me! Gibbs was so pissed at me; I didn't think I had a job anymore. I know I lost Gibbs' respect over that! Do you have any idea how that made me feel? How long it took me to get his respect in the first place? Ducky, he's never trusted me or respected me the same since!"
"Timothy, why have you carried all this around with you for so long? Have you not tried to talk these things out with someone?" Ducky asked in concern.
"Like a shrink? No, thanks, Ducky. Tried that once, it didn't work out so well. Besides, how is talking to a stranger about any of it gonna help me deal with it when it's work that's the problem?" Tim asked with more than a trace of bitterness.
"Timothy. Although you've obviously got a lot that you still feel angry about, I fail to see why you require my assistance." Ducky reluctantly admitted.
"Ducky, I quit trying to date for a long time after the last psycho stole my credit card and thought it was funny to charge it up without me knowing about it until it was done. She figured paying me back was enough. That was the one time Abby was actually helpful about something personal. She convinced me to have the woman arrested. It was a long time before I tried to date again, no matter how many time Tony threw it in my face that I never had a girlfriend or a date."
"Understandable, young man." Ducky responded.
Before anything else could be said, Ducky's phone rang. "Doctor Mallard." Ducky said as he answered his phone.
"Duck, where are you?" Gibbs asked.
"I am currently at lunch, Jethro. Do you suddenly require my services?" Ducky inquired.
"No, just wondering if you've seen McGee. No one's seen him since he left for lunch over an hour ago." Gibbs said with concern.
"He's with me. Jethro." the M.E. reassured the boss.
"Good. No hurry. Tell him to just make sure he comes back with you. Next time, he'll answer to me for being late!" Gibbs warned.
"Understandable. I'm sure he didn't mean to be gone so long." Ducky reasoned.
"I know, Duck. That's why I'm letting it slide this time. See you when you get back. He does need to get back to work sometime today." Gibbs said with just a touch of sarcasm.
Truth be told, Gibbs was startled that McGee was having lunch with Ducky. The fact that they'd been gone over the normal lunch hour meant only one thing; Tim had needed to talk to Ducky. That thought sent a fissure of unease down Gibbs' spine. He hoped everything was all right with his agent. The young man had definately been extremely quiet since he'd talked to Abby yesterday. Come to think of it, even after he'd talked to Gibbs last night, he still seemed too quiet, moreso today than before he'd talked to Gibbs. Something was 'hinky' with McGee. Gibbs hoped he could get to the bottom of it and help the guy out of what ever the problem was.
Ending the call, the boss got back to work with a silencing glare to his Senior Field Agent currently waiting for a scoop on McGee. At least Ziva had had the presence of mind to call and request her extra lunch time. Come to think of it, Abby had done the same thing.
Ducky put his phone away silently as he waited for Timothy to continue
"Thanks, Ducky. I appreciate you curbing his anger. I'm sure he'll unleash it on me when I get back." Tim said with dread.
"Nonsense, Timothy. He was concerned. He knows you aren't usually late coming back from lunch and we both remember what happened the last time one of his agents was late from lunch without a phone call to advise him that all was well." Ducky said sadly.
"Oh, yeah. That was the day, Ari kidnapped Kate." Tim sad with his own touch of sadness.
"Timothy, you must finish explaining what it is you need me to understand." Ducky reminded him.
"Ducky, the next time I tried to date it was an online thing I met 'her' through a chat room, spent weeks getting to know 'her' and finally arranged to meet face to face."
"What happened?" Ducky asked. He'd not been told about this situation. This was the first he'd heard about it. Judging from Timothy's tone, it had not ended any better than his other attempts at dating.
"Turned out it wasn't a woman." Tim said with disgust.
"Oh? Did you discover who it was?" the older man asked.
"Ziva let me in on it. It was Tony. He played me because he thought it was hilarious." Tim's pain and sense of betrayal over that was obvious.
"Oh, my!" Ducky exclaimed before he could stop himself.
"Ducky, it took me months before I tried it again. Next up? 'Amanda' and we all know how that turned out." Tim said with pain radiating from his voice.
"Timothy, it's been three months since that horrendous day. You've done remarkably well considering everything that happened. What seems to be the trouble now?" Ducky asked in confusion.
"Abby. She asked me yesterday if I was still in love with her. Asked me if I would consider giving her a second chance." Tim said sadly.
"Oh, my! What did you tell her?" Ducky asked.
"That I'd have to think about it."
"Where does Jethro fit into this? What about his Rule #12" Ducky asked in surprise.
"He and I discussed it last night before I went home for the night." Tim said with a small smile.
"And, what did he say?" Ducky inquired.
"He told me he was proud of me. Do you know I can count the number of times he's said that to me in the last six years, on one hand, Ducky? Said he was proud of how I kept my head on straight and kept doing my job well even after the 'Amanda' fiasco. Also told me that if I wanted to date Abby again, he'd be okay with, so long as we kept it out of the office. He told me to go home, think things through and trust my gut." Tim said.
Ducky sat in shocked silence.
"Trouble is, Ducky. That I jumped the gun when I answered Gibbs' question about it. When he asked me if I thought I wanted to date her again, I immediately told him yes. But, when I tried to add an explanation of what I'd have to think about first, he interrupted me and I never got the chance to fully explain myself. Now, the more I think about it, the more I can't bring myself to date her and he's gonna think I lied to him, about Abby no less." Tim said with fear.
"Nonsense, Timothy! You expect the worst from Jethro. You obviously underestimate his compassion for his agents and his insight." Ducky quietly admonished him.
"Compassion he's never been very quick to show me, Besides, Ducky, even if I wanted to date Abby again, the simple fact of the matter is, I can't." Tim reasoned.
"Why ever not?" the M.E. asked in surprise.
"Because she's Gibbs' favorite. I have too much self-preservation to land on his bad side where she's concerned ever again." Tim explained with pain in his tone.
"Ah. Yes. I can certainly understand your concern. What is it you need from me?" Ducky asked.
"Just your perspective. Am I crazy to even consider dating her again? Should I just go to Gibbs and tell him I lied but didn't mean to? Do I just let Abby go now, not let her sit around hoping I'll say yes, when it's pretty much a given that I can't date her?"
"Timothy, you must calm yourself! It's quite obvious you've driven yourself to distraction about all of this. I advise you to take a few more days at least, to think things through more. I also suggest you rescind your request that I not discuss this with Jethro. Seems to me that your fear of his favoritism toward Abby will greatly affect any decision you make in some way."
"Yeah. You're right, Ducky. Maybe it would actually help if Gibbs understood at least some of where I'm coming from." Tim conceded.
"It certainly would, dear fellow. Now, come, we must return to work before Jethro sends the posse after us, hmm?" Ducky said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Thank you so much, Ducky." Tim said with a much lighter aire. It was obvious he felt much better having someone to talk to about this.
"You are more than welcome, Timothy. I am honored that you thought to seek my help in this matter. I will do what I can to help. You must continue to calmly think things through and not get weighed down with what might happen." Ducky advised.
"You're right. I will. Thank you, again. Can I ride back with you?" Tim asked.
"Certainly." Ducky answered. As they walked silently back to Ducky's car, the M.E. pulled out his cell phone and called Jethro.
"Jethro, we're on our way back now."
"Okay, Duck. Thanks. Hey, Duck?"
"Jethro?"
"Everything all right? With you? With McGee?" Gibbs asked in unusual concern.
"Yes, Jethro, everything's fine. See you shortly." Ducky answered in surprise as he hung up and slipped his phone back into his pocket. The ride back to the office was a peacefully quiet one, both men lost in his own thoughts. After all, both had a lot to think about.
As Tim slipped back behind his desk a mere ten minutes later, he slid his eyes to Gibbs' thankfully empty desk. Surprisingly enough, Ziva's desk was empty, too. Not wanting to give the man another reason to be pissed at him, Tim quickly jumped back into the cold case he'd been working on before lunch. It wasn't long before Tim's total attention was focused back in his work.
Tony watched with less joy at Probie's lateness and more concern than one would expect from the Senior Field Agent, but then again, Tony had heard Gibbs' concern when the boss had asked the M.E. if he and Tim were okay. To hear the boss speak with concern brought out Tony's concern. Tim had been acting different these last two days. Sure, these last four months had been really tough on the kid, but these last two days, he'd been exceptionally quiet. The same degree of quiet he'd exhibited in the first few days after almost getting killed by that witch. Yeah, the more Tony thought about it, the more concerned he was getting about their Probie, himself.
Gibbs watched Tim come back into the squad room from his vantage point just out of sight. The young man looked calmer and actually less stressed out than he had looked when he'd left for lunch. It was a thankfully slow day, so his extended lunch wasn't a problem, this time. The glaringly obvious fact that he had needed to talk to Ducky was his saving grace, as far as Gibbs was concerned. There was no way the boss was gonna give him grief about it. Having deliberately made himself absent for Tim's return, Gibbs now decided to make things even easier for his younger agent. Since Tim had wasted no time in getting back into his work, Gibbs rewarded him by leaving him alone, and going in search of Ducky.
The M.E. would give him the answers he needed about what was going on with McGee, of that Gibbs was sure.