AN: Hey guys…God, it's been a loooong time, but I've been thinking about the stories that I want to finish so this is going to
AN: Hey guys…God, it's been a loooong time, but I've been thinking about the stories that I want to finish so this is going to be the first one on this sight. I want to thank all the people that stuck with me throughout the updates, and the non-updates, your feedback from the past, and the recent reviews asking me to finish this has prompted me to do just that. So, there will probably be one more chapter after this, and I'm hoping to have it finished by next week, and I am serious about that, unless of course most of you guys disappeared like two years and just don't care anymore, which is totally understandable after my hiatus. So finally it's time to answer what will happen to Dana/Logan, the triangle Chase/Zoey/Sawyer, and of course the rest of the drama I left you guys with on that evil cliffhanger. Once again thanks for the support, and reviews are always love. Thanks again guys…no more commentary from me lol.
Chapter 29- Didn't we almost have it All
Dana held her arms close to her body as she watched Logan pace the bedroom. She had just confessed everything to him, and five minutes had passed since he last said anything to her. She wanted more than anything to just get up and leave, but her body refused to cooperate. Her teeth chattered nosily. Dana pushed the coldness to the back of her mind. "I'm going to leave."
Logan remained silent.
So it was over between them. Dana swallowed angry, scared, and unsure all at the same time. She tucked her hair behind her ears as she forced her wobbly legs to move. Dana stood and made her way towards the door but Logan reached out. His fingers closed around her arm and he brought her back to him. "Wait," He didn't really recognize his own voice, it was hoarse, and not as confident as it usually was. "We should um…" Logan placed his hand to his face. "We should talk about this."
"What's there to say Logan," she eased her arm out of his. "We made a mistake. All of this was a mistake!" Her voice raised and the anger started to boil over. She pushed him backwards. "I should've never fallen for you, because you…" she pointed at him angrily with tears rushing down her face. "You are an asshole, a wealthy son of a bitch that cares for no one but yourself and…"
"I love you," Logan admitted.
Dana dropped her hand. She swallowed when she looked into Logan's eyes. Tears were forming, but none had yet to fall. Dana clenched her jaw and looked away, speechless and confused. "You don't mean that."
"Look Dana," Logan placed his hands to his head. "Do you think that you're the only that's scared as shit here? You just told me that you're pregnant! Any normal guy in high school would run for the hills, but do you see me running." He dropped his hands. "I want to, I want to run as far away as I can, and pretend that you never told me this."
"Then why aren't you running?"
"Because…" Logan wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, "Because I told you already, I love you." He cautiously walked closer towards her and held out his arms. "I don't know what we're going to do…"
Dana wanted Logan to hold her, but her stubborn will wouldn't allow her to fall into his arms and let him console her. She wiped at her eyes. "I can't do this right now."
"Well then when can you," Logan turned away from her, "Because I need you here, I need to figure out what we're doing because I…" His shoulders shook. "We're just in high school, how are we supposed to take care of a baby?"
The hospital room was sterile white; the eerie feeling of death was everywhere. Nicole and Jordan stood in the waiting room. Nicole's eyes were wide as she watched the clock, she had a feeling that the night was only going to get worse. Her clothes were stained with Cassidy's blood, and she was sure the stain was permanent. Jordan wrapped his arms around her.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly.
Nicole nodded, "Where are his parents, the doctor said they were going to call him right." She bit her lip and looked at Jordan for reassurance. He nodded slowly and then placed his hand on the side of Nicole's head bringing her head to rest on his shoulder. He kissed her hair softly. "You don't have to stay here Jordy."
"I'm not going to just leave you here." He said. "Did you want to sit down?"
"Yes," Nicole nodded. She sighed and took a seat, crossing her legs. Nicole couldn't stop fidgeting, she removed imaginary lint from her jeans, checked her watch, and then started to tap her feet.
Jordan reached out and took her hand.
Nicole nervously smiled, "I'm trying to keep from crying," her lips trembled, "What happened to him, Jordan, he was so bloody, and he could barely walk…" Nicole buried her face in his chest. Jordan rested his cheek against her head. "Why would anyone beat him like that…yes, he was quiet, but no one deserves to be beaten that badly."
"He'll be okay,' Jordan reassured even though he didn't know if that was true.
Nicole leaned away from Jordan, he wiped at her tear-stained cheeks with his thumb. "Before I completely lose it and become inconsolable." Nicole rested her nose against Jordan's. "I want you to tell me what you were going to tell me before."
Jordan swallowed, "I wasn't going to…"
Nicole sniffled and reached out to cup Jordan's face in her hands, "There was something you were going to say, it looked like it was important." Nicole bit her lip, "I may be an airhead but I can tell when something is on your mind. Tell me whatever it is Jordan, distract me from all of this."
"We shouldn't talk about this now…"
"But I want to," Nicole whispered. "I need you to tell me something, tell me anything, to make me stop thinking about this."
Zoey wrapped her arm around Chase's neck. She kissed him softly, teasing his lips, and then tilted her head to the side when Chase crushed his mouth against hers. Zoey trailed her hands along his skin, losing herself in the moment of being so close to him, breathing in his air, smelling his cologne, and touching him. Chase wrapped his arms around her. He pulled Zoey's golden locks from her face and then cupped her chin.
"I love you,"
"I love you too." Zoey's hands fumbled for Chase's shirt. She wanted to fix him, and she wanted to fix herself. All this time she had used him, only in her mind did it make sense loving two guys at once…and even now as she kissed Chase, she knew that she still loved Sawyer too, she loved them both.
Zoey silenced Chase by placing her hands against his head and bringing him closer. The sound from the rain pitter-pattering against the windowsill took her away from it all. Her thoughts questioning how far she was going to take this, one kiss, passionate, and then call it quits…or even more than that. Zoey touched Chase's skin, he was warm.
She wanted to love him, she did, but in the back of her mind she knew that this wasn't right. No longer could she blame her indiscretions on some crazy potion Quinn concocted, this girl, who was kissing Chase, when she still didn't make up her mind about who she wanted to be with, was selfish, and foreign.
So Zoey broke their kiss. Chase's breath rushed across her lips in a pleasurable warmth. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned forward to rest her head against Chase's. "Why do you let me do this to you?'
"Let you do what?" Chase asked. He wanted to hold her hand, but he stopped himself for reaching for it.
"Whenever I mess up, you always see the best in me. Chase, I've been horrible to you this year!" Zoey exclaimed. She took her voice down a few decibels since she was the only one with a raised voice. "You should've pushed me away the minute I tried to kiss you…and you know why you should have…"
"Maybe you are wrong." Chase said.
"I am,"
"But that doesn't change anything. You know how long I've had a crush on you?" Chase's cheeks reddened, "Actually a crush doesn't even begin to describe, what I feel…felt for such a long time." He moved his mouth to the side as a bolt of lightning flashed behind him. "The mistakes you've made…just make you human." He winced. "It's corny but I…"
Zoey closed her eyes and then started to pace around Chase's room. "I can't do this anymore."
"Then don't."
Zoey looked at him surprised. "Chase, I'm going to leave."
He nodded figuring that there was nothing that he could do to stop her and then Chase stood up. Something inside of him compelled him to take action. As the rain beat down on PCA's expansive California Coast, and the sky danced with bolts of white electricity. Chase pulled himself up, he practically floated across the floor despite how deprived he felt of energy and kissed her.
If this was the end. Then he was going to go down with the ship.
Chase didn't just kiss her, but he let her know that whatever she did to him, good or bad, she would still be the girl he loved. Even if she didn't love him.
Dana sat on the steps of the stairs. She glared at anyone passing by that bothered to look at her because she didn't want their sympathy. Right now she was an emotional wreck, and she just wanted to get it together, on her own, without anyone telling her what was right and wrong. This was her decision, her body, and maybe even her Logan…if she decided that she wanted to work through this with him.
Dana was astounded at the maturity that he had presented to her tonight. She was a mess, crying, and screaming, even at the verge of fighting him, but he took her on. Logan eased her, and told her that he was in it…they were in this together. Dana closed her eyes as another rush of tears fell down her cheeks.
She didn't want to do this alone. The thought of another human, a living thing, growing inside of her scared her. Dana swallowed. She stood up and walked down the stairs, with a heavy mind, heavy heart, and tired eyes, she walked towards the door. It was still raining outside.
Dana wrapped her arms to her body. Her parents were going to disown her. She closed her eyes before she called them, and then somehow her thumb managed to press in the digits.
The phone rung two times, and then she heard her mom.
"Hello, Dana,"
Dana contemplated hanging up. She almost did, but then she spoke. "Mom," She looked down, her hair fell in her face. Dana squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want her parents to hate her, but there was no running from this.
She couldn't.
"Mom, I need…"
The door opened and Logan Reese stepped outside.
Dana bit her lip, "Wait…" she went over to Logan. "I don't want to do this alone," she said desperately.
"Me neither," Logan wanted to come back with some witty, sarcastic remark, but he couldn't. He surprised Dana by taking her in his arms. "I talked to my dad."
"Already!" Dana said with worried eyes.
"He hung up," Logan admitted. He looked at the phone in her hand. "Who is that?"
"My mom," Dana thought about breaking from Logan's embrace, but his arm remained around her shoulder, and she felt safe. Logan actually made her feel safe. So Dana let down her guard, she let everything down, and then she told her mom the truth that she knew would break her. "Mom, I'm pregnant."
Her mom was silent at first, and then she started to yell.
Dana felt the tears slide down her eyes as she tried to explain. Every time she tried to talk her mom would say something else. "But I…"
Logan reached for the phone, "Ms. Cruz,"
Dana tried to break away from him, but Logan held her shoulder.
"I want to marry your daughter."
Dana nearly fainted. The world started to spin, she gripped onto Logan's arm for support, sure that the world was officially over as she knew it.
Zoey sat down on her bed. Nicole was gone along with Dana, so she was left to contemplate her thoughts. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she attempted to focus on the textbook in front of her. Even when she tried to push Chase away, he came back with full force. She pushed him away, because he was good, he deserved someone better than her, someone honest…even she hated herself right now, so what did he want with her. Zoey placed her hands to her face and screamed, muffling it behind her fingertips.
Someone knocked at the door.
Zoey ignored the knock.
They knocked again.
"Whoever you're looking for, she's not here!" she exclaimed.
"Zoey, can you open the door? I need to talk to you," He said.
She pulled back her covers and thought about trying to pretend as if she was sleep, but that was dumb since she had already talked to him. Zoey hesitantly stood and then placed her hand on the bed as she pushed herself up.
"What do you want?" she sighed.
"Closure,"
She wanted that too. Zoey opened the door and looked back at him. It seemed like years since they had last talked and maybe it was for the better. She swallowed as she stared into his hazel eyes. "I thought you already got all the closure you needed?"
"No," Sawyer looked down. "I'm not sure what happened that night I saw you and…"
Zoey looked back at him in apology.
"But Michael told me everything a couple of days ago. He told me about Quinn's potion and…"
"That doesn't make it okay,"
"It doesn't." Sawyer said. "But you're not the only one that's messed up with us," he gave her a small smile, "After all, if it wasn't for me, then Meadow would have never come into our lives."
'Yeah, I guess that is your fault."
Sawyer nodded. "What happened between us."
"Me,"
Sawyer exhaled, "You love Chase,"
"That's not fair,"
Sawyer placed his hand to his mouth, "Because if you do, then I want us to be friends. I can be happy for you two, it'll hurt but…" He swallowed. "You guys have history, and whether you cheated on me or not…I've known all along how you've felt about him."
"I love you Sawyer," Zoey admitted.
"I love you too," Sawyer reached forward and then paused. He placed his hand to her cheek, "But I had time to think while we were away from each other, and I've decided that I would rather see you happy with Chase, than not see you at all…I don't hate you." Sawyer swallowed. "I was bitter, but I'm not bitter anymore."
Zoey reached for Sawyer's hand and held it to her heart. "Me either…but Sawyer, you shouldn't have come to me, what I did to you was…"
"Water under the bridge," Sawyer turned his white baseball cap around over his mop of shaggy blonde hair, "I just want to erase the last couple of days, the whole us fighting…and not talking."
"There are a lot of things I want to erase." Zoey tucked her hands in her back pockets, "Like the person I've become would be a nice start." She pulled her hair from her face. Zoey knew that by now she sounded like a broken record. She had apologized so much that she was sure that both Chase and Sawyer were starting to tune her out. "It's like a ghost town around here," Zoey smiled nervously, "Where did everyone go?"
Sawyer looked around, "Yeah I know," His lips grew thin as he leaned against the wall. "Everyone's gone."
"Should we be worried?" Zoey asked with a small smile.
"No, we shouldn't." Sawyer raised his eyebrows and looked into Zoey's eyes as she looked down and then back at him. "I still love you, for what it's worth."
"You and Chase are trying to kill me huh?" Zoey rested her back against the wall and shook her hair out of her face. "He just told me the same thing."
Sawyer's cheeks reddened, "It must suck being in the middle of this,"
Zoey couldn't help but to laugh a little. "How could you go from hating me, to sympathizing with me?"
He smiled, "I never hated you, I was just angry, and sad I guess…" Sawyer pulled off his baseball cap, "But we don't have to talk about that, because honestly I'd rather forget."
"I want to talk to you guys," Zoey said. "We should all talk, and make things right,"
"I'm down with that."
Zoey looked down, "Why do you still love me after everything I've done." She purposely asked him the same question as she did Chase.
"Well," Sawyer ran his hands through his thick blonde hair, "After the night, the one we agreed never to talk about again, I went back to my room and tore up everything that reminded me of you. I threw away the songs I wrote for you, and ripped up the pictures we took together, the rage, and the confusion lasted for a total of forty minutes and then I wondered what I had done." Sawyer reached for Zoey's hand, "The next morning I was taking the ripped pictures from the trashcan along with the songs I wrote for you and I was trying to piece them back together."
Zoey blinked.
"What happened that night was bad…it hurt to see you with Chase, but over time I accepted that maybe you might want to be with him, and that we were over." Sawyer swallowed. "So I came here to let you know that if Chase is the one you love, then I'll wave my red flag." Sawyer tilted his head to the side, "But only if it's what you want because if we still have a chance then…" Sawyer stepped closer to her, "Then I don't want to give up, because I'll be your friend, but if you still want me, then I still want it all." Sawyer tucked Zoey's hair behind her ear. "Are we over?"
"I can't answer that until I speak to you both."
"So you're unsure?" Sawyer asked softly.
"No, I'm sure." She wasn't. She just had to think. Zoey tilted her head to the side, "Could you do me a favor and meet me in an hour at the Cyber Bean?"
"Sure," Sawyer said gently. "But I just wanted to tell you this…" Sawyer took Zoey by surprise. He wrapped her in his arms and placed his lips against hers. She raised her hands to wrap her arms around his neck, but she paused in mid air.
Sawyer kissed her one last time, and then traveled his lips to her ear. "Just follow your heart…because both Chase and I are doing the same." He smiled and then caressed her cheek. "Whatever you decide will be fine, but just now that I'm not mad at you." Sawyer winked and then walked away his flip-flops padding on the polished floors.
Zoey placed her hands to her lips and then leaned against the door. She was ending this once and for all…and hopefully after all of this was done; she could start recognizing herself again.
"So where do we go from here?" Logan asked. He sat across from Dana. Food was around them but neither one was eating. "You should probably eat."
"Yeah, since I'm feeding two people now." Dana placed her hand to her mouth, "I'm going to be fat as a cow."
Now was another opportunity for Logan to crack a joke but once again he took the high road. He reached for a fry, "I think your mom cussed me out in every curse word in Spanish and English combined."
"I'm sure she did, and that was of course after she got me." Dana pushed her fries over to Logan, "Have you gone crazy Logan?"
"Well yeah…" He laughed weakly. "I think we all have, when did my hair, and looking fine, get to be at the bottom of my most important list." Logan ran his hands through his slightly damp hair, "I'm not even using my gel anymore…gel is like air for me."
"You're not ready for marriage."
"Maybe so," Logan said. "But I'm definitely not ready for a baby either but I don't have a choice, he's coming." Logan looked down at her stomach and then looked away.
"She's coming," Dana corrected.
Logan shook his head, "I'm not ready for a lot of things Dana, because we're kids, what do we know about life…I mean we know about sex but…" Logan licked his lips. "Clearly we know a lot about that. But we've been apart for a while because you've been keeping this in, and I've been worried about you."
"No you haven't,"
"Cruz, be real." Logan said placing his hands on the table, "Do you know how many times I tried to talk to you, and how many times you shut me out."
Dana knew that he was telling the truth. "My parents are never going to let me do this…I'm sure they are already picking out nunnery's for me to go to, and planning to adopt the baby."
"Our baby," Logan corrected.
Dana's eyebrows furrowed, "Don't act like you want it anymore than I do."
"I'm scared," Logan looked down at the table, "But I do want to keep this kid, and I want to be there for him or her." Logan swallowed. "I'll be a horrible dad, because I'm too much into myself, but you…at least you can be the dependable one."
"I'm too selfish," Dana said. "And I'm mean,"
Logan smiled a little, "Well then this poor kid."
Dana bit her lip, "Why do you seem so together, this isn't the kind of situation that anyone wants to be in at our age, especially not us."
"Well someone has to be the rational one." Logan crossed his eyes and raised his fists to mimic Dana, "I hate you, stay away from me, you asshole…grr!"
"I'm a bitch," Dana said. "I can't apologize for the way I am…even if I am knocked up." She laughed in spite of it all and buried her face in her hands. "It's funny that I never planned on becoming a baby mama in high school."
"And I never planned on becoming a married man….because everyone knows that Logan Reese likes to have his fun."
"You were serious?" Dana asked in shock.
"I was," Logan admitted without looking away. "I think we should get married."
"So tell me," Nicole said.
Jordan looked down, "Nic I…"
Her eyebrows furrowed. Nicole leaned away from him. "You can't do this now, because if you don't tell me what it is, then I'm going to start to worry, and then I'm going to freak out, and I am already freaking out and…"
"Hey," Jordan placed his hands on her shoulders, "Just breathe for me okay. " He massaged her shoulders with care and then looked into her eyes. "I thought that I wanted to tell you this but now I'm not so sure."
Nicole bit her lip.
"Excuse me," An older woman stood in front of Nicole and Jordan. "Were you the ones that called the police for my son?"
"Cassidy!" Nicole said jumping up. She was holding onto Jordan's hand so that made him stand up too. "Yes, yes it was us, how is he?"
"Cassidy's going to be okay,"
"Oh, thank god." Nicole said placing her hand to her heart. She smiled through her tears. She wanted to ask if his mom knew who did that to him, but Nicole knew that wasn't appropriate. She fell back against Jordan in relief.
"Ma'am," A police officer walked over to her.
She turned around, "Yes,"
"We just wanted to talk to you about your husband." The police looked at Jordan and Nicole and then at Cassidy's mom, "If it was your husband that did this to your son, then we're going to have to arrest him, are you aware of his exact whereabouts…"
Before Cassidy's mom could say anything else the police took her away. Nicole placed her hand to her mouth. Child abuse. She bit her lip. How could anyone do that to their own flesh and blood? She turned to Jordan, "How could his father do that to him, it's so horrible."
"Nicole," Jordan let go of her hand. "You're right we should talk, now is definitely not the right time, but if I don't tell you this now, then I might never." Jordan swallowed down the sadness that was now washing over him. "Can we talk about this somewhere private?"
Nicole nodded quickly. "Of course." She looked after Cassidy's mom, she had now disappeared somewhere. Nicole turned away and followed Jordan towards a secluded hallway. Nicole felt nervous but she tried to smile. She gave him her full attention, ready to tell him that whatever it was, it was okay.
Jordan opened his mouth to speak, but every time he tried to tell her what was going on he bit his lip. Nicole took a step towards him and placed her hand to his heart. He started to cry.
Nicole drew back in surprise.
Jordan collapsed to the floor, tears spilled down his cheeks, and sobs escaped his mouth.
Nicole dropped down to the floor with him and placed her hands on his face. Her natural instinct was to cry too, because they had just been given great news, Cassidy was fine, so why was he crying. "Jordan, it's going to be okay." Nicole leaned forward to kiss him on his rosy cheeks. "It's going to be okay."
"I love you Nicole," Jordan said.
Nicole just nodded as she wiped at his tears.
"But you won't love me after I tell you this." Jordan's thick eyebrows furrowed as Nicole cupped his chin. "I'm not what you think I am?"
Nicole wiped at her tears as she attempted to bring some much-needed normalcy to their conversation. "Well, you're handsome, sweet, and my boyfriend…" she sniffled, "I know who you are."
"No," Jordan shook his head. His clear blue eyes reflected the pain he held inside. "I'm gay Nicole," He had to look away as soon as he said it. "But I love you…and I don't know anymore…I don't know anything."
Nicole blinked processing what Jordan just told him. He started to cry again. Tears fell down her cheek, fresh and salty, but she ignored the tears as she leaned forward. "I know," Nicole closed her eyes, "I've known all along."
The List. Zoey looked down at the list in front of her. She had written down both Chase and Sawyer's name on the list, and a chart for their positive and negatives. Zoey reached for a marker and wrote, Chase is sweet, there, handsome, and loyal. She capped the marker, and then reached for a yellow one. Sawyer is, understanding, a good friend, sweet, and not Chase.
They were alike, but different.
Ten minutes later.
She stepped into the Cyber Bean, and then crumpled the list tossing it into the trash.
'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder played on the sound system.
As if they were working against her, both Chase and Sawyer were sitting together. They weren't talking, but they both watched her. She was going to break one of their hearts, and she didn't want too…but Zoey knew she couldn't have it all. "Hey guys," Zoey said. She took a seat across from them.
Chase waved and Sawyer tilted up his chin.
"First of all I wanted to start off by saying that I value both of your friendships, because throughout this entire year both of you have had my back, when I've been indecisive, a little down, and even through the good times. You guys have been true and given me your all even though I am so unworthy…" Zoey placed her hands to her heart. "I want this to end, I actually need this to," she bit her lip. "Going back and forth between you, and making an idiot out of myself, because that's not me, and both of you deserve better but yet…for some reason both of you are still here."
Zoey's cell phone vibrated but she ignored it.
"Did you hear about that bad accident? I heard some students from PCA were involved." Someone said behind them.
Zoey listened not really registering.
She reached in her book bag for two small boxes. "Just because I forget to tell you guys sometimes everything that I appreciate…" she tucked her hair behind her ears, "Don't worry it's nothing expensive, just paper with thank yous and thoughts, and once again apologies."
Both Sawyer and Chase placed the boxes in front of them, but neither one deciding to open it yet.
"I just want us all to be friends after this, because I love you both, in different ways, but if I follow my heart, and I think about who I really want to be with, then the choice is clear. I love you Chase, and I love you too Sawyer, but I deserve no one."
"Yes you do," Chase said. "Follow your heart."
Sawyer said nothing but he just looked into Zoey's eyes.
She looked at Chase, and then at Sawyer.
"I love him…" she looked down, "More than you, and for that I am sorry." Zoey then found his sad eyes, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. The monster within her had to make one last appearance, and break one last heart, his heart.