Author's Note: Oh, and I am back after a great xmas with the other side of the family! Awe-some. Oh. And. Just in case she's being even more of a bitch than usual:

Lauren I hate you and I'm gonna kill you. WELL ME AND STEPH WILL WRITE THE ELF SUITS, WON'T WE? YEAH! Go die! Now review me nicely.

…

I'm sorry you had to hear that.

Pairings: InoxSaso (minor), InoxIta hints (hehe). Pretty nonexistent in this chapter, actually…

Some boys kiss me

Some boys hug me

I think they're okay…

Chapter… wow. That's a great question! I have no idea!

"I can't believe I have to work with you," Ino spat, laying her head on her arms as she sat slumped over her desk. Across from her, Sakura raised her head and snarled before returning back to work. She, unlike Ino, had some sense of productivity in her.

No sense of fun though. No, not at all. She wasn't even responding to teasing…. When Ino got bored, she teased. When people didn't respond, it was as good as shooting her.

"You weren't my first choice either…"

Ino grinned, not bothering to hide the delight on her face as she got a reply. She was about to retort with some remark that was no doubt wonderful and witty all in one, but was silenced by someone else cutting over the top of her.

"I can't believe I was put in charge of both of you," Tenten sighed, rubbing exasperatedly at her forehead and leaning a hand on Ino's desk. She seemed quite content to let Sakura start planning things.

"Yeah…. Sorry about that…. Got carried away…."

The personal assistant offered her a dangerously cheerful smile. "Hey! I'm not the one who's going to suffer when my boss finds out that Neji's presenting the work to the Sabakus as his own, am I?"

Sakura visibly flinched, and Ino shuddered, grinding her forehead into her arms and gritted her teeth in frustration.

"Dammit…"

"Oh, it's okay," Tenten smiled, putting a hand mockingly on her shoulder. "I'm sure they'll both forgive you when you force them along to a trivia night Christmas party!"

The brunette sniggered to herself as both women collapsed, sobbing onto their desks.

Ah, revenge was sweet.

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Three days later

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"You want me to go to a Christmas party?"

Kakuzu stared at the blond girl across the counter, his eyes glazing over in what she assumed was a defense tactic.

See no evil.

"Well… Mr. Hyuuga does," she answered dryly. Personally, she loved Christmas time, but she wasn't too thrilled about the pressure she was under to organize something that Hinata Hyuuga herself had wanted, and make it into something wonderful, much-loved and fabulous.

"And you know Christmas is the best time of the year to make money, don't you?"

"Well yes, but -"

"Then you should know I can't possibly go."

Ino pouted at him, crossing her arms like a petulant child. It was about a week since she had been commissioned to run the party with Tenten and Sakura, and she had taken the invitation role under then impression that that would be easier than setting up the venue and arranging entertainment. What a painfully inconvenient thing this was proving to be though. Stupid Kakuzu, he was most definitely a life-ruiner.

"Fine," she sniffed. "Where is Sasori? He might like to come."

Kakuzu stared at her. "You can't take my staff, either."

"I heard my name?" Sasori said as he walked from the back of the shop, carrying a life-sized dummy wearing a dress she hadn't seen in the shop before. He set it up in the display window as she told him about Konoha's first Christmas party.

"I see…"

"Don't you dare," Kakuzu warned, pointing a threatening finger at the redhead and glaring solidly. "You know Christmas is the busiest time of year for us."

"I'm sure we could manage for just one day," Sasori said absently, fixing the flow of the dress Ino was currently admiring. As if he did whatever Kakuzu said, anyway….

He would have to report to the master about that.

"I've already declined."

"Aaw, Sasori, will you please come? Please? I want as many people as I can get!"

Oh dear. She had assorted to begging… Well. She was desperate. Besides, Sasori sort of liked the girl. Well… Not liked. Didn't not like was more accurate. He hadn't gone out anywhere for ages, anyway.

"What sort of party is it?" he asked, turning to face her and crossing his arms. There was something about him that always seemed so relaxed. A quiet confidence that was unlike that of the brooding Uchiha, but was still just as powerful. He was not lost on Ino.

"It's dinner, a show, and then…. Eh…. Here's the bad part…." She took a deep breath, wincing as she said the last word. "… Trivia…."

"I love trivia," the tailor said simply, collecting his bright red invitation from the happy blond and meeting the eye of the fuming salesman coolly. "I'll come."

He smirked as he saw the responses on the card, and handed the 'I'll be there with bells on!' section back to her, picking up a pen from the counter and scrawling his name on the back.

"Great! Thank you, Sasori!" she squealed, hugging him. He was the first person outside the firm that had accepted the invitation to come. She had been through numerous amounts of Mr. Hyuuga's acquaintances, and none of them had really seemed like the festive type. It only occurred to her, when she had actually joined her hands around his waist, how inappropriate that probably was.

Oh shit…

Instead of moving off him – because she didn't want to seem flustered or embarrassed – she stayed wrapped around him, although completely tensed, with her eyes wider than they had ever been in her life.

Awkward.

Kakuzu stared at his tailor as the redhead carefully put a hand on her back, wiped the startled look off his face, and actually smiled. What was the world coming to?

The green-eyed salesman looked to the door as four regular customers entered, the one in front covered completely in blue. He even had blue body art painted all over his skin. Kisame Hoshigaki, the photographer, was obviously going through a new colour obsession. Kakuzu only let him into his shop so that the flocks of expensive people that employed him could come too…. Oh, and because they were technically teammates. But no one knew that now, did they?

"Morning, Kakuzu. Sasori. Deida -"

"It isn't Deidara, dick," Hidan, the silver-haired model who had already made that mistake before snapped, intent on proving he could tell the difference between women and men. "That's…. Fuck me… what was her name?" Kisame frowned at Ino, who was still hugging Sasori. The tailor looked very amused, if slightly embarrassed.

Deidara shot Hidan a scathing look of disapproval, choosing to ignore the fact his photographer had mistaken a woman for him, even when he was only a foot away.

"You idiot…. Morning, Ino."

"Hey…" she said shakily. All eyes were on her as she still refrained from detaching herself from their custom tailor. Too bad for her, the 'if I don't move they won't see me' idea wasn't turning out too hot. She was thankful she was turned away from them, cheek on Sasori's chest, so they wouldn't see the bright red blush that had made its home on her face.

"Ino came bearing Christmas invitations," Sasori told them as he saw Itachi's observant eyes pick up the empty envelope he still had in his hand. "She was grateful that I was going to come."

Ino finally managed to make her arms move and let go of him. "Yeah. Sorry. I got a little carried away," she laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

"The fuck would we care?" Hidan asked, cocking an eyebrow and looking down on her. Deidara rolled his eyes at his back, and Itachi reached a pale hand to massage his temple.

"Hidan, please, watch your language around ladies," Kisame said sternly, giving him a down-the-nose look. Ino's gaze was to the floor, her face bright red in embarrassment and humiliation – something that seemed all too common around that particular group of men.

"Oh fuck off," he said, an incredulous tone betraying he didn't see anything wrong with his use of language. Ino knew she swore just as much as him, and it wasn't that that bothered her. He just seemed to have made it a point to put her on the spot. She almost felt like crying. Almost. No, instead she would most likely go running back to the office and cry to Shikamaru. Although he'd rarely spoken to her since the envelope incident, she was still determined that he had as good as admitted his undying adoration over the 'you're the only one I trust' thing.

"I'm sorry… Ino, was it? I apologise for him," Kisame said kindly, eyes crinkling in a smile. It was strange, that at that moment, she was feeling so thankful towards a tall man who had painted himself blue; but, here she was.

"You can't apologise for me! It's not like you own me or anything!" Hidan exploded. Kisame rounded on him, malice pouring forth from an almost shark-like grin. He was taller by about a head and a half than the model, and looked very, very threatening. It took a lot to scare Hidan, however, and the two men squared off against one another, pale violet eyes meeting white, until Kisame hissed:

"Listen. It's me who makes you look good."

…

Hidan was many things. However, stupid wasn't one of them. Kisame had full power over his shots – at least for the next two years in his contract – and he would have to do anything the older man asked if he wanted to keep his job in modeling. If Kisame asked him to pose with nothing on but women's underwear and a pair of love-heart covered boxer shorts on his head in the fucking snow, then Hidan would have to do it. And the colour-obsessed photographer was like that. Sure, he acted nice and polite and gentlemanly, but he was a real bastard when he wanted.

The silver-haired man backed down, scowling and folding his arms over his chest.

"Now, what do you say?" Kisame prodded. The others smirked at their comrade's discomfort. Ino smiled weakly, sharing a quick look with Deidara, who seemed quite entertained.

"I'm sorry, alright? Fucking hell… I didn't give a shit anyway," he spat, stalking towards the very back of the shop as he busied himself looking for clothes.

"Sasori, attend to the moron," Kakuzu said tiredly. He had long since tired of Hidan's bratty acts. "What's their theme this time?" he asked Kisame, changing the subject.

The blue man grinned happily and flopped a huge file down on the counter, startling Ino with the loud noise it made. Sasori touched her shoulder gently before walking away towards Hidan, who Ino saw start to make a smart-ass comment before he was hit rather hard in the chest by a pair of shoes.

"This here, is every single Christmas cover edition that we've ever had," he explained, flipping through the pages and pointing out his favourites to the salesman, who was waiting to make a business opportunity out of what he considered unimportant detail. "But we're not sure what will do it for us this year. We've had firemen, life savers, waiters, dancers - of course, and soldiers, but now we need something else. Something that women are going to go mad over."

Slaves! thought Ino madly. Ehe…

"Then why are you asking me?" Kakuzu scathed, glaring up at the musing photographer.

"Ino, what sort of men do you like?" Deidara asked casually, leaning his head slightly to one side. Itachi smirked and looked at her coolly, while Kisame slapped himself in the blue forehead.

"Deidara, for a blond, you're actually not as dumb as you look," he smiled. Deidara and Ino shared a common scowl directed towards the tall man. Blonds weren't all dumb…. Why did everyone always act so surprised?

"So, Ino?"

"I… I don't know," she frowned, still unsettled from Hidan's temper tantrum before. Truth be told, she just wanted to get out of there, not outline what label of men she found the most attractive.

"Don't get embarrassed or anything," Kisame told her, grinning again. "It's strictly business."

The usual confident Ino Yamanaka was feeling way out of her depth. She didn't like all these guys looking at her – at least, not when she wasn't in the control of the conversation. Right after being humiliated, she would have preferred to be able to go off and lick her wounds in some sheltered corner covered in darkness, not have everyone pretend as if nothing had happened and ask her questions so she'd have to stay.

"I don't know…."

"Is there someone you're dating right now?" Kisame pressed, picking up his folder and chewing on the tip of his pen, ready to make notes and sketches. "Come on, it'll help me out. Just tell me what sort of men you like."

The blond cursed as she felt herself turn bright red.

Again.

Everything seemed way too quiet. She raised her head, no longer examining the finer points of her shoes, to meet the calm stare of Sasori across the room, the sharp but sulky eyes of Hidan, the clever, calculating blue that was Deidara, and the smug 'I know exactly what kind of men you like' gaze of Itachi Uchiha.

It then occurred to her that she would make a lousy lawyer if she couldn't at least lie her way through a difficult situation and pretend she wasn't uncomfortable. Why not just tell them? She liked… Shikamaru, who wouldn't notice her, and no doubt hated her for not delivering that envelope. She liked men in expensive suits in the office, with large windows, a city view, and a lot of money, all thanks to her boss.

"Men in suits," she smiled sheepishly, toying with the fabric of her skirt.

Kisame wrote it down. "With ties or without?"

"Loose ties…"

"Anything else?"

"Shirt sleeves rolled up."

With each step she inched a little closer to the door.

"What?"

"Just try it," she half-snapped, a little defensively. She could have said no clothes at all, couldn't she? If he asked her stupid opinion, he would have to accept it.

Kisame stared at her a second, a slight frown on his face, before shrugging and writing it down. "Sure. I can do that."

She looked around nervously to see Hidan eyeing his sleeves suspiciously, and even Itachi looking pensive as many of the males glanced at their wrists.

All was silent. Cheers, to another awkward moment.

Ino tried to draw the topic of conversation away from what men she liked.

"So… anyway…. Kakuzu? Are you sure you won't consider coming along?" she asked as she started to move even faster towards the door. Might as well try to regain control of the situation and do what she came to do.

He didn't answer straight away, and she took it as a no.

Good! That's good! Just go! Git! Leave! Take the fuck off. Bad place. Bad Get away from the bad men. Door… door! So close!

Everyone was silent as they stared at her.

"Right, well! I'll be going! Bye! I hope I've helped you, sir," she force-smiled to Kisame, slipping out the door and practically running across the road to the safety of the Konoha building, mentally slapping herself with each step she took.

The men left in the expensive boutique all watched her go, while at the same time noticing the reactions of their peers.

In the dangerous life they lead, they were all on edge, all acutely aware of things that could possibly be used against each other, fuels for the flames of their burning rivalry. Deidara in particular, who harboured a thorough hate for the elder Uchiha brother, noticed the almost relaxed state that Ino had created for Itachi, and narrowed his eyes.

If he could just get to her, he could finally beat that uptight asshole and blow his lacking appreciation for the less subtle types of murder to high fucking hell. Deidara, the bomber, wondered if the gunner knew exactly what he was thinking.

If they can't give me what I want

Then I just walk away

Heh. Yeah. Had to do that one too.

Well. I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas! And you know you're just itching to send me plenty of reviews, full of wonderful (if late) xmas cheer!

Yes?

Yes.

Um. Quote… Quote…

Lol!

Our dog's pedigree is so outstanding, even if he could talk, he wouldn't talk to you