Hi guys
**peeks out from behind a big tree**
We're really, really sorry for making you wait for an update, and I want you all to know that you're wait has been down to lil' ole' me - Shelbylou
**Waves twig with a clean white tissue attached**
Smartkid37 met her homework deadline with days to spare and had this chapter ready for me to go through, but I was struck down by a dreaded headcold
**Aachooo**
And i've still got it now!
Needless to say, I've been really cruddy at going through this and want to let you guys know how profoundly sorry I am for holding on to this whilst the cotton wool clears out of my brain.
Now, we warn you; It's a long one so we hope that makes up for your long wait and we hope you enjoy
Smartkid37 - Thank you for being so patient with me, I appreciate it (I tell ya guys, she's been an absolute star and has had the patience of a saint with me!)
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And - so here we go!
"Well, if you'd answer me so that I know you're listening, I wouldn't yell, McGee! "
"If you think that I would get engaged to someone who would ever do something like this than you don't know me nearly as well as you think you do. And there is something wrong with that after all these years of working together, McGee!"
Gibbs' anger shot through the roof as he listened to Abby's loud, bitter voice 'saying goodbye' to Tim. It carried down the stairs in waves as every word that was shouted to his ailing agent sent spikes of sheer rage shooting through him; an emotion that grew seeing as he was waiting impatiently for her at the bottom of the stairs so they could actually get to work. It was a task that was proving difficult in lieu of his forensic scientist losing her cool and Gibbs felt torn between going up there and dragging her out by her pigtails or waiting down here for her but chose the latter in an effort to keep a lid on the white hot anger that flooded through his veins. There was only one thing for it and he forced himself to focus on the one thing he needed to get her moving.
"Abby! Let's Go!" Gibbs shouted up the stairwell; although he allowed a good dose of his vehemence to drip off of those three words knowing she would come running at the currently pissed off authority that he put into that simple sentence.
Sure enough, the Lab Rat's expression soon changed from the irate grimace her face had adopted throughout the tirade and completely betrayed her fear as she heard the impatience in his tone. As she quickly but silently brought herself down the stairs a mere 10 seconds after he'd issued the order; Gibbs used every ounce of self control he had to silently glare at her until she reached the bottom step. He waited with his arms folded dangerously across his chest and it was only when she'd reached the point where he stood, did he speak to her and even then, the words were measured and to the point.
"Living room, now!"
She automatically grabbed her stuff and started to skulk towards the couch, knowing better then to even try to talk to Gibbs when he was this pissed. She felt more and more miserable with every step and knew that she had crossed the line with her boss and adopted father.
Gibbs watched as Abby sank down on the couch and he ran up the stairs; taking them two at a time needing to get to Tim to make sure he was all right, given the tongue lashing he had just received. He finally reached the doorway to his bedroom and paused momentarily. It was out of sheer concern for the kid; his own fear of Ducky's retribution, hell even Tony's if things had just deteriorated for Tim in regard to his health or even his mental state, that made him silently remain in the open doorway and simply peer in like a parent checking on their slumbering child.
What he saw made his gut clench. Tim was obviously awash in misery. Physically, he looked no worse for wear than he had before Abby had unleashed her very own brand of punishment on him. Before he could say anything, Tim wiped angrily at his tears and rolled over so that his back now to the doorway. Whether or not he knew Gibbs had been standing there was uncertain; but Tim's unwillingness to talk wasn't.
"McGee. We're headin' out now. There anything you need?" Gibbs watched as Tim sighed heavily before answering with a small voice.
"I'm good, Boss. Thanks."
"Alright; Ducky'll be here in just a minute. If you need anything, you phone's on the nightstand." His heart dropped at the weak, defeated voice that trailed over to him from the bed.
"Thanks. I won't need it though. I don't want to be any more of a burden. I'm just gonna get some rest."
"Burden? Oh for….McGee, If you need me then call. There's a bottle of water next to you on the nightstand." He waited for answer but all he got was silence. Moving out of the room, he closed the door and sighed heavily whilst remembering the conversation he had had with his young agent about hurting Abby. Turns out, he had nothing to worry about on Tim's part. In fact, he'd had it backwards. Then again, Ducky had already warned him as much, hadn't he?
Now that things had gotten slightly out of hand, Gibbs hovered outside the bedroom and felt totally uncomfortable with leaving Tim alone before, not just Ducky but Tony, were here. Gibbs stayed where he was and was deliberating leaving when relief flooded through his mind as Ducky's arrival was heralded by the M.E.'s voiced question as it floated up to him from the bottom of the stairs. The voice got louder as Ducky started to climb the stairs after anticipating where Gibbs would take Tim to rest for the day.
"Jethro? Is everything all right? I saw Abigail sitting in the living room and she looks quite upset. Did something else happen after you called me last night?" Ducky reached the top step just as he finished asking the question.
He paused and scrutinized Gibbs' watchful position in his bedroom doorway, that in itself was telling and he soon figured out the answer without a word passing by Gibbs' lips. He felt his heart drop slightly at the silence and waited for the verbal answer he was expecting with a false eagerness. Jethro just shook his head with a sad, silent answer of 'no' and started making his way downstairs.
If anything, watching his friend as he made his way down was disheartening, it was the pause halfway down that let Ducky know he was supposed to follow and with a heavy sense of foreboding he followed….. What else could have gone wrong? How much more could that poor young man upstairs take?
Once Ducky reached the bottom of the stairs, Gibbs ushered him into the kitchen so they were allowed them a modicum of privacy with their conversation.
"No, Duck. Abby's still in a tizzy over this whole mess." Gibbs said in a hushed tone.
"You told me that this could possibly be the work of an ex-fiancé of hers."
"Yeah. And Tim's having a hard time trying to get her to back off. She's so determined that we don't even look at the possibility of this guy doin' these things that it's having an impact."
"I'm afraid, I don't understand. Has she said something else on the matter? I know you told me that she tried to bully him into talking to her when you got home last night. As I told you when we talked last night, she must not be thinking clearly." Ducky felt his frustration rise at the remembered conversation he had with Gibbs the night before. "Timothy was quite unable to carry on a conversation of such nature so soon after his injury and was most likely still in a great deal of pain, that much I can be sure of!" Ducky protested.
"Well, yeah, Duck he was. Like I told you last night, he tried to tell her as much. Typical Abby, she wouldn't listen. He took care of the situation though."
"Yes, I still find it difficult to believe that Timothy would feel driven to hide, Jethro. It's out of character for that young man up there."
"Yeah. I know, Duck. At least I got him to get some sleep, but it's like Abby's on a mission; she's got tunnel vision with this Alex guy and right now he's the only thing she's worried about."
"I'm afraid I don't understand." Ducky admitted. Gibbs noticed the frown and couldn't help feel the pang of regret that was bound to accompany the explanation.
"She just took another crack at McGee; yelled at him so loud I could hear her all the way down here. I sent her out to the car but I doubt she even knows what she's done wrong right now. Maybe he'll talk to you eventually, I think he just fell asleep which is the best thing for him. Then again; maybe not. He might just be avoiding me."
"I'll take care of him. Jethro; You need to take care of Abigail's priorities because they seem to be somewhat skewered at the moment. I trust you will help her set them straight?" the M.E. answered earnestly and forcefully.
"You can count on it, Call me and let me know how he's doing, Duck." Gibbs said as he headed out, stopping briefly in the living room to flick his head towards the front door. He waited for Abby to make her way over and together they headed out.
In the living room, Abby's nerves were becoming frayed with each passing minute. Even Ducky's arrival a couple of minutes ago had done nothing to alleviate her sense of doom because personal experience told her that, having Gibbs pissed at you is never a good thing. With Abby, it was a rare enough occurrence that when it did happen, it left her feeling lost and almost scared.
As Gibbs walked out to the car with Abby, he thought back to the initial conversation he'd had with Tim when his youngest agent decided to give it another go with Abby. Tim had been nervous; sure who wouldn't be, but there was something else there that Gibbs just couldn't put his finger on. It was strangely warming to see that glint of affection run through those large green sparkling eyes when he talked about trying again with the girl he had always had a soft spot for.
"Yeah. But the only reason it's work related is because of your rule." – There it was, the first glint of affection which was soon replaced by regret at that cursed rule.
"Which one?" - Gibbs remembered being blindsided by the conversation leaving him pondering exactly which rule Tim was talking about.
"12."
"You gonna let me in, here?"
"She asked me if I would think about dating her again. Asked me if I was still in love with her." - And that was it, the question of his love for Abby had already been answered; not by words, but the rush of love that flooded his eyes and softened his face even further. That rush of pure, raw emotion heralded the very moment that Gibbs knew he had made the right decision to let Tim try again….though it wasn't without the obligatory warnings; warnings he should have given Abby too given her stinking attitude at the moment.
Gibbs didn't even look Abby's way when finally settled behind the wheel; his anger was too close to the surface and threatened to spill over. Despite this, he refused to hit her with the full brunt of it; even if she was the cause of it. With all the self-control he had, he kept his focus on his driving and sat back trying to force the part of his brain that wasn't needed, into thinking of just how to talk to her when he'd calmed down enough to do so. For once in his life, he was happy to turn on the radio; relieved to be able to break up the stifling silence with the obnoxious noise from the station he carelessly flipped to.
For Abby, riding with Gibbs had never, ever been such an exercise in torture before. This was almost more than she could stand and she felt her nerves crumble more with each mile they put between them and Gibbs' house. When Gibbs turned on the radio and randomly dialed into a station that turned out to be classic rock; Abby couldn't help the grin that spread across her face; thankfully, she was turned away from the boss when she did.
As they reached NCIS, Abby made a mad dash for the elevator and was totally unprepared for what happened next.
"Freeze!" Gibbs barked at her before she'd gotten five steps from his car. She stopped, frozen to the spot at the commanding tone in his voice.
"Gibbs!" she at last found her voice and felt the irritation rise from deep inside her.
"You forget something?" he asked her dryly.
"What exactly is it I forgot?" she asked with an obvious attitude that was guaranteed to exacerbate Gibbs already fragile temper.
"You mean besides the fact that you need to keep the phrase "thin ice" in mind? Try the phrase
'Protection detail' while you're at it!" Gibbs bit out with just enough anger to make his point.
"Sorry." Abby said carelessly.
"Nu-uh. Not even close." Gibbs said as he gestured toward the elevator as he caught up to her and stayed close. He remained watchful and tense and thought about the fact that being seriously angry with your protectee never made for an easy job of keeping them safe. This was no different. Only when they were safely inside the elevator and securely on their way to the squad room did Gibbs relax and then he did so only enough to get the next part of the ordeal over with.
Reaching over, he snapped the switch on the elevator with force; claiming the makeshift 'conference room' as his once again. With her heart in her throat, Abby waited patiently for whatever was coming knowing she'd definitely be feeling his wrath at this morning's little performance. She'd been trying to remember the last time Gibbs had been so pissed at her but drew nothing but blanks. She sagged slightly at the glare that was currently boring its way into her soul and waited for him to start; completely unable to even imagine what it was he was going to say or do.
"Do you care about McGee at all, Abby? Gibbs finally asked with a quiet, cold tone.
"What? What kind of…Of course I care about Timmy, Gibbs! I love him!"
"Do you? Is that what this morning was, the newest dose of love; Abby style? Cause, I gotta tell ya, Abbs; if that's your idea of love; McGee not only doesn't need it; he won't stand for it."
"Gibbs! What…?"
"And even if he's too much of a softy to tell you as much; I won't stand for it. He's recovering from being shot; he's got a target on his back and he's under protective custody. What you pulled last night and this morning; doesn't fly with me and will not happen again!"
"Okay." Abby gave in.
"I mean it, Abby!"
"I know. I get it, Gibbs."
"Oh, and Abby?"
"Yeah, Gibbs?"
"This conversation; between you and me; It's not over. We'll talk about it later. Go on, get down to your lab and get to work."
Gibbs flipped the switch on the elevator and leaned against the wall as it started to move. They travelled in silence and moved towards the doors, waiting for them to open, when the elevator stopped. Abby was left to make her way down to her lab alone and couldn't help feeling heavily abashed at Gibbs' words as they flew around in her head.
As Gibbs strode into the squad room, he noticed Ziva was already sitting at her desk and seemed to doing okay as she picked up her searches from the night before. She gave him a cheery smile and 'good morning', but didn't flinch when he simply grunted in her direction. He glanced over at his other two agents' desks and frowned. He hated it when one of his agents was out from injury at the best of times, but his was so much worse because this time, it was personal. Tim seriously didn't deserve what was happening; after all he was a good, kind hearted kid that wouldn't harm anybody. Damn, he wished he could figure this out.
"Ziva, get me everything you can on this guy." Gibbs said as he handed her the piece of paper with the name of Abby's ex-fiancé on it. "I need it ASAP so quit what you're doin' and work on that."
"Certainly, Gibbs. How is McGee this morning?" Ziva asked with a concerned frown on her pretty face.
Gibbs felt a slice of remorse cut through him at the fact that he hadn't even greeted her; Instead choosing to just grunt in her direction when she'd tried. He mentally slapped himself because he'd been trying harder to at least give his team that courtesy team every morning.
"He's okay. Ducky's with him and Tony's taking over this morning. You?"
"I am fine."
"Yeah?" Gibbs double checked.
"I promise. I am fine." She vowed.
"Okay."
Sitting down at his desk, Gibbs dug into his emails and work for the day while Ziva dug into the background information on Alex.
As Gibbs left, Ducky locked the door behind him and drew the shades. He picked up the small caliber handgun that Gibbs insisted he carry until he was safely back in the NCIS building later and turned to climb the stairs to check on his patient. Ducky awkwardly held the gun in the hand that was hanging down at his side, taking care to make sure it was pointed away from himself. He had known many good men in his career, hold gun's wrong and blow a toe off so wanted to avoid that little mishap if he could.
Ducky reached Gibbs bedroom door and opened it gingerly in hope that Tim was asleep. He wasn't surprised to find his young charge lying on his back staring up to the ceiling and sighed softly to himself. He would have preferred Tim to be sleeping like Gibbs had suggested earlier and although he did appear close to falling asleep, he wasn't quite there yet. He knew that the young man had been given his morning dose of meds because Jethro was a stickler for such things when his agents were injured; that at least, was one thing for which Ducky was always grateful, though the pinched, pained look suggested they weren't having the desired effect.
Rather than disturb him,
Ducky remained in the doorway, watching as the young man's eyes continued to fight to stay open until a short two minutes later when they lost the fight and closed without opening back up. Ducky waited another few minutes until the pained look smoothed out completely and finally gave in to the desire to check on his vital signs, as carefully and as silently as possibly. The M.E. felt a huge sense of relief at finding everything was normal and Tim was doing well despite his injuries and covered the troubled young man up with the bedspread which had somehow, made its way down the end of the bed. Ducky straightened up and picked up his bag before making his way over to the door, with one last glance at Tim, he pulled the door to and headed back downstairs.
As he reached the bottom step, he was startled by the sound of footsteps on the front porch. Panic set in and his arm automatically rose to level the gun he was being forced to carry; Oh no! He'd left it upstairs on the bedside table when he had set about checking Timothy's vital signs!
Ducking into the nearest room that gave him shelter from the front door, Ducky held his breath as he waited. When he heard the knock, his stomach lurched uncomfortably as fear started to set in.
"Ducky, it's Tony. C'mon. Let me in." Tony called out.
"Oh, Thank the heavens!" Ducky decreed as he quickly let the young man in. Apparently, his emotional upheaval showed on his face, as Tony looked at him with concern the minute he stepped through the door and closed it; locking it behind himself.
"Ducky? You all right? You look a little peaked."
"I'm fine, Anthony. You simply startled me."
"I'm sorry. You were armed, right? Gibbs gave you his backup for protection?" Tony's eyes were busy searching Ducky for signs of a weapon and he couldn't help but feel totally confused when he noticed that there wasn't one.
"Yes, he did."
"But, you left it upstairs with McGee, didn't' you? Ducky, you know…"
"It wasn't deliberate, Anthony." Ducky interrupted testily; a testament to how truly shaken up he was.
"Of course not, Sorry, Ducky. C'mon, let's go get some tea. I don't like seeing you this upset." Tony encouraged as he attempted to guide the M.E. to the kitchen.
"Thank you, my dear boy. I believe I could do with a cup of hot tea."
"I know. So, how's McGoo this morning?"
"Timothy seems to be having a difficult time of things I'm afraid." Ducky's emotions flitted from fear, to relief and then to sadness at the thought of Tim lying upstairs.
"Oh? Why's that?"
"Apparently, Abby has disclosed the possibility that this attack on Timothy is the work of an 'ex-fiancé' However, once she disclosed this; she has steadfastly insisted he is not responsible"
"What? Duck why mention it if she didn't think it was a possibility?"
"Ahh Anthony, you know Abigail. Her mind doesn't work in quite the same way as ours and sometimes information can get a little confused. I'm sure she felt the need to tell them what had happened but when it came to the realization that he may actually be causing harm, she realized that she'd made a grave error in judgment. Not that she'd ever admit to that."
"Okaaaay." Tony drew out the word as if trying to rationalize her actions in his mind. The penny dropped suddenly leaving him seeing the situation clearly. "Right, okay, that does Sound like Abby. So, what's the problem?"
"Well, Anthony, it would seem that Abigail is so bent on declaring this man's innocence; that she is willing to fight with Timothy over the matter."
"You're kidding, right? That's crazy! Probie just got shot, for cryin' out loud! Kid's not even 24 hours outta the hospital and she's giving him hell about an ex-fiancé? What the hell's the matter with her?"
"Anthony, please calm yourself. Seeing you carrying on like this will not help Timothy. You must focus on helping him with his meds and making sure he eats and sleeps. I advise you not to let him get too upset about any of this; it will only impede his recovery."
"I hear ya, Ducky. I promise; I'll take good care of him." Tony felt a stronger wave of protectiveness wash over him at Ducky's revelation and wanted nothing more than to take his Probie away and hide him from the monsters that chased him and, he never thought he'd every say this, Abby.
"I have no doubt of that Anthony." Ducky said as he finished his tea set about collecting his bag, coat and trilby hat. Tony escorted him to his car and watched sadly as the elderly M.E. got into his reconditioned Morgan and made his way to NCIS. He twirled the house keys around his finger and moved back to the house, only pausing to unlock the door that he had locked on his way out to say goodbye to Ducky. On his way to the house, he had sub-consciously don a sweep of the garden and he street and even though it was clear, the uneasiness seemed to curl around his mind and didn't abate until he was safely in the house with the door firmly locked behind him.
Tony pulled out his weapon and walked from room to room, sweeping each one with an eagle eye, there was no way he was taking any chances and no matter what, Tim was going to stay safe on his watch; no way was a lunatic getting their hands on his Probie, not if Tony had anything to say on the matter.
Once he was satisfied that the house was secure, he moved back to the kitchen and grabbed his breakfast and a couple of books. He took them upstairs and quietly walked into Gibbs bedroom to sit in the easy chair and watch over Tim. Tim didn't stir at all and Tony felt his heart lighten slightly at the peaceful, calm look on his friends face; it always struck him how impossibly young Tim looked in sleep and he found himself almost missing the banter they shared. He settled back and took a large bite of the breakfast burrito he had bought with him.
Although he normally hated reading, Tony had good naturedly brought Tim's book with him and was more than willing to read it again. Now years after the initial shock had worn off; he was actually anxious to read it with a fresh perspective; and so he passed the next several hours lost in the pages of Tom E. Gemcity, reveling in the realism of the cases and the characters. Reading Tim's book now, he started to feel proud of his Probie, after all, there's no way in the world he'd be able to write like this.
Before Tony knew it, his stomach was once again growling and he realized he'd been reading for quite some time. Marking his page with a bookmark, he set the book down and looked at his watch and was startled to find he had indeed just read a book for three solid hours without a break. He stretched and cringed when his back popped ominously, and looked toward the bed. He was horrified to find that Tim wasn't even asleep; but was lying there, curled up as much as he could be considering his injuries. His shoulders were silently shaking with the obvious sobs that wracked his body. What broke Tony's heart at that moment, was the fact that Tim had hidden his face in the pillow in his attempt to muffle the sounds of his breakdown. Tony made his way over to the bed and sank down on the mattress before placing a placating hand on Tim's shoulder.
"Probie? Hey, talk to me! You don't have to do this! You can talk to me!"
Tim silently shook his head and audibly sucked in deep breaths in his desperate attempt to put his emotional storm away now that he'd been discovered letting it out. Tony completely understood Tim's reluctance to talk seeing as letting others in was a team flaw rather than an individual one. None of them had ever been good at it and found it uncomfortable.
"Okay, Tim. I'm going downstairs to get us some grub. I'll be back in a few, all right?" Tony said, not waiting for the answer he knew wasn't coming. He headed out leaving Tim to pull himself together in peace.
Gibbs was coming in as Tony reached the bottom of the stairs, ready to check on Tim and grab some lunch at the same time. Tony could feel his boss's eyes on him and squirmed slightly under the scrutiny knowing that Gibbs' sixth sense would kick in about what had just happened.
"How is he?" the deep rumble was cautious.
"Needing some time by himself, Boss." Tony said, hoping Gibbs would understand the unspoken message more than the verbal answer he'd given.
Gibbs nodded and walked towards the kitchen. He walked to the fridge and pulled out a container of soup for Tim and the sandwiches he'd brought home last night for himself and Tony.
"Boss, I'm not gonna eat that in front of him." Tony objected. "I mean normally, I'd do it without thinkin' about it, but after seeing him just now? No. I just can't. The last thing he needs right now is my typical DiNozzo style makin' light of everything." Tony said with self-depreciation.
"DiNozzo, just sit down and eat, will ya?" Gibbs demanded as he heated up Tim's soup. Once it was hot, he transferred it into a bowl and headed up the stairs with the tray that included Tim's meds as well as his soup and a glass of milk to coat his stomach.
Gibbs was halfway to the bedroom when he started treading heavily down the hall in a deliberate attempt to make enough noise to let Tim know he was about to have company. There was no need to add any more awkward moments to everything else Tim was going through. Apparently, his efforts paid off, because when he got to the bedroom, the bed was empty and he could hear the noises in the bathroom that told him where Tim was. The entangled blanket and sheets spoke volumes as to what kind of rest his agent hadn't gotten. To add insult to injury to Gibbs' worried heart, the soaked pillowcase told the story of Tim's current emotional state; that sent an unearthly desire to headslap Abby into next week, spiking through him ….. even from afar.
Wordlessly, Gibbs set the tray down on the dresser and pulled a set of clean sheets out of the closet. He had just started stripping the bed when he heard the shower turn on; dropping the sodden pillowcase on the floor he hurried over to the bathroom and rapped sharply on the door.
"Hey, McGee don't get that wound area wet or Ducky'll have both of our hides!"
Tim's answer was drowned out by the water but Gibbs knew he'd been heard and that Tim would be extremely careful now that he'd been reminded. While he had the chance, Gibbs quickly completely changed the linen on the bed and threw over a clean comforter. He felt better knowing Tim would have a clean bed to climb into and hoped it would help him get some more restful sleep now that he'd apparently let some of his boiled over emotions out. Gibbs set his agent's lunch tray down on the now newly sheeted bed and laid a clean towel and some clean sweats across on the bed for him before heading back down stairs. He had decided against hanging around to see whether Tim needed help or not knowing the kid would probably appreciate some privacy as he dried and dressed himself so he could climb back into bed.
Gibbs was itching to get back to the office to see what progress had been made on their enquiries, but he didn't want to go without first seeing Tim for himself and maybe talking to him, even if it was just for a minute. Gibbs forced himself to wait and soon ran out of patience some ten minutes later; he headed back up to his bedroom, leaving Tony taking a few minutes to do a casual check on the perimeter of the house. Knocking quickly on the door, more to announce himself than to ask permission to enter, Gibbs followed up by quickly entering and stopping in the doorway.
Tim looked better than he had at breakfast, that much was a relief; although he looked flushed and was sitting stiffly in the bed, favoring the uninjured side as he tried to relieve some of the pressure. Gibbs put the flush down to Tim being fresh out of a hot shower and didn't pursue it any further; the obvious stiffness worried him though. Instead of mentioning it yet, he moved in and picked up the tray that was balanced on Tim's knees. Glancing down at the still relatively full bowl of soup, he moved the tray to the dresser and looked over at Tim questioningly.
"Did you eat?"
"A little. I'm sorry. It's all I could manage." Tim said regretfully as the pain made his stomach revolt heavily leaving a churning, nausea in its wake.
"Not your fault. How you feelin'? Hurtin' much?"
"No. I think the hot shower helped a lot. I actually feel pretty good. Just stiff." Tim was thankful for the red flush the hot water had left because no sooner had the lie left his lips, he felt his treacherous body blush.
"Good. Still, no getting' up or movin' around anymore than what you did with the shower. Ducky'll kill us for sure if you do."
"I won't. I shouldn't have any trouble taking another nap. Still feel wiped out." That in itself was an understatement; he felt absolutely exhausted but didn't want to worry his boss anymore than he had to.
"Good. Rest is the best thing for ya."
"I know, Boss."
"Okay. I'm going back to work. Tony's downstairs. Any problems, you call on him. DON'T get outta this bed again, unless it's to use the head!"
"I won't ." Tim vowed, now he was back in the large, comfortable bed there was no way he was leaving it again anytime soon. The shower and the fact that the linen was clean and crisp helped with his comfort as he shuffled carefully down the bed so he could lie down.
Gibbs nodded in silent understanding before he headed back downstairs. Something wasn't right. McGee's eyes were filled with something Gibbs couldn't quite put his finger on and that bothered the boss. He knew Tim wouldn't open up yet and he hoped he'd be able to find the answer soon.
"Tony. You keep your eye on him." Gibbs instructed. "See if you can get him to talk."
"Sure thing, Boss." Tony said as he realized what Gibbs wasn't actually telling him. It was testament to how the team dynamics actually were because they rarely needed to verbalize things like this anymore. What Tony got out of his boss' words was that the Boss man was worried about whatever it was Tim was bottling up.
Well, Tony was too and hopefully, he could get the younger man to trust him enough to open up and let him in without being too emotionally painful. Only time and genuine effort would tell.
After Gibbs left, Tony locked up and headed back upstairs carrying a pitcher of ice water with him. Tim needed to stay hydrated and hadn't done a whole lot of drinking any fluids all day due to sleeping. Better late than never, Tony thought as he carefully trudged up the stairs.
Tony entered the bedroom as quietly as he could and was encouraged to see Tim already going back to sleep. The older agent knew that the boss man had had something to do with that so soon after eating what little of his lunch that he had. Judging by the bowl of soup that still sat on top of the dresser, Tim had barely touched his food. While not surprised, Tony was beginning to seriously worry.
Sitting back down after putting the pitcher of water down next to the tray, Tony once again immersed himself in his book. For some reason, he found it difficult to get quite so engrossed in the novel and didn't miss it when Tim began to toss and turn, shifting restlessly as he slept on. Maybe he noticed it more because this time, his movements were accompanied with whimpers of pain and small cries of distress. Whatever the reason was, it was immaterial as Tony set his book down and went to sit by his probie in hopes he could be of some help. Each word was followed by a painful keening noise and panting as Tim struggled with whatever nightmare he was locked in.
"No, Abby!...My fault…..Sorry, Boss…..NO!...Doesn't love me….Kill me….."
Tony started to stress out and panic at the broken phrases that Tim cried out. He knew that the tossing and turning Tim was doing couldn't be doing Tim's injuries any good and debated whether or not he should wake him up. Looking at his watch, he was shocked to see Tim had been sleeping for less than an hour when a loud cry pulled him out of his tremulous thoughts.
"Abby, m'sorry!...Please no more….Jethro…"
Tony couldn't take any more and placed his hand firmly on Tim's shoulder, applying pressure while talking to him calmly in an effort to gently ease Tim away from his own mind.
"McGee, c'mon, it's okay. You're fine."
Nothing seemed to work as Tim continued to cry out and toss and turn miserably.
Tony was beginning to get really worried especially seeing as his efforts were futile. Finally, he pulled a page out of Gibbs' rule book.
"McGee!"
Tim froze completely and all cries and movements seemed to die on his lips when his eyes flew open in a blind panic; searching frantically for something he couldn't see.
"Hey, Probie. You're okay. C'mon, look at me." Tony encouraged carefully not wanting to frighten his friend anymore.
As Tim worked to stop his panic and focus his eyes; he felt his heartbeat calm itself down and return to its' normal place in his chest. Why the hell would Tony scare the hell outta him like
that?
"Probie, look at me! Can you hear me?"
"Yeah. I hear you, Tony." Tim answered quietly.
"Talk to me, man. What' goin on?" Tony sympathetically attempted to get Tim to feel comfortable enough to open up but knew deep down, that after the nightmares that gripped Tim in his sleep, that job was not going to be easy.
"Nuthin, Tony. I'm fine." Tim kept the lid on his feelings with all of his might and felt his strength slipping away with each attempt Tony made to talk to him.
"No, McLiar, you're not fine! You can talk to me. Come on man, what's going on?"
Instantly both angry and desperately needing to talk, Tim rolled away from Tony in utter dejection; It seemed like a good compromise seeing as he just didn't know what the hell to say to Tony.
"McGoo. I'm sorry. But, I know you need to talk to someone. We're buds, c'mon. You're my little brother and something's buggin you; let me in!"
"It's Abby." Tim quiet admission was barely audible and Tony had only just caught the words as they were uttered.
"Ok. What about her?" Tony asked as he patiently waited for Tim's willingness to let him in show. He understood that it wasn't about being nosy or prying into Tim's business, it was about Tim trusting him enough to help him; that in itself was no easy feat.
As Tim turned around, he looked at Tony and finally opened up; telling him everything. Tony felt his heart breaking for the younger man and with each expressed fact and thought alike, Tony's heart ached for Tim and what he was going through. One thing shone through Tim's explosive revelations…..he loved Abby but couldn't see a way to be with her at the moment.
Tim even explained how he'd dug deep down inside himself to find the small piece of his soul that had been willing to risk his heart one more time; only to have it trampled on yet again; only this time; by the very person who'd sworn she'd understood it all. That was the reason why, when Tim's last word on the subject of Abby turned out to be a statement of exactly how he felt. Tony wasn't surprised, but found himself sympathizing heavily with his best friend.
"Tony. I can't be around her right now. What am I supposed to do? Gibbs is trying to protect both of us from this lunatic! I can't just ask him to choose between us? "
"Relax, Tim. I got this. Okay? Let me speak to Gibbs."
"Tony, you don't understand! I can't even talk to him about it! He already thinks I can't handle dating Abby and told me to take care of her…I did such a fantastic job of that didn't I?" Tony winced at the sarcasm that was dripping off of Tim "I was supposed to be keeping it outta work
Tony. And look what happened! He was right! That damn rule is there for a reason, I'm living testament to that; just look at this mess that's been left behind!"
"Hey! McGoo! This isn't your fault and Gibbs knows that! We ALL know that! Why is it that you don't?"
"Tony, I…"
"Relax, Tim. I get it. Really. It's the' Mr. McResponsible for everything that happens around me', talkin'." Tony pointed at Tim to emphasise his point "Well you can tell him to shut up so you can get some real sleep before Ducky has all of our hides, will ya?"
"Tony…"
"Look, Tim. I'm serious here. I understand. And I've got your six on this, all right? Now, go back to sleep before I'm forced to read to you. and for cryin' out loud, leave your worries out here."
"Thanks, Tony." Tim's gratitude was palpable.
"No sweat, Probie. Next time, don't try so damn hard to carry it all alone okay. We're here when you need us and don't you ever forget that."
"You mean like you. And Gibbs?" Tim asked sadly as he made public his knowledge of just how short he fell of the bar Tony and Gibbs had set.
"Yeah. Ok." Tony blithely admitted, unaware of the full brunt of what Tim was saying.
"Always knew I wasn't as tough as you guys, knew you both knew it too." Tim said quietly as his exhaustion started to pull him under again.
Tony felt Tim's words hit him like a dagger. Was that what this was about? Is that why he was tryin' so hard not to let anyone in?
"Gibbs won't trust me anymore, now." Tim whispered as sleep dragged him under. "No more respect."
Was he serious? Did Tim really think Gibbs felt that way? Man, they had a big problem on their hands. Easing himself up off the bed, Tony waited a good ten more minutes until Tim was really good and soundly asleep, before he slipped out of the bedroom and down to the bottom of the stairs so he could make a phone call.
"Yeah, Gibbs."
"Boss, I got Probie to talk to me. We've got a problem on our hands…" Tony relayed the entire conversation he had just had with Tim and didn't miss the whispered curse that left Gibbs' mouth when he relayed Probie's last words. He waited patiently for his boss to process the information.
"Got it, Tony. Thanks. Keep up the good work and don't let him get stressed out. You need a break?"
"No. I'm not leaving him. I got him to open up now so I'm staying. He knows he can count on me when it gets bad, Boss and I want to be here for him when it does."
"Okay. I'll take care of things this end."
"Boss, he thinks he's lost your trust and respect; again. What do we do about that?"
"Tony, he's never lost either."
"He doesn't' seem to know that which brings me back to my question." Tony knew he sounded a bit like a petulant child but he didn't really care at the present moment in time.
"Yeah, I'm beginning to see that, Relax, Tony; I'll take care of it" Gibbs knew how Tony would be feeling Tim's pain at the moment and wanted nothing more than to pacify him and tell him everything was going to be ok. He couldn't though so did the best he could under the circumstances. It seemed to work though and Tony's quiet voice came through loud and clear.
"Thanks, Boss."
"And Tony?"
"Boss?"
"Good job"
"Thanks."
As he hung up the phone, Gibbs felt as though he'd been stabbed directly in the heart. So, they were back to Tim feeling like he had before they'd had those talks, were they? Why?
Looking back, over the last several weeks, Gibbs realized exactly where he'd gone wrong:
"If you have any doubt, like you've had before that I'll protect her with my life; tell me and this whole idea will stop right here and now."
"That what this is about? You're worried that I don't trust you to take care of her?".
"That's part of it.
"Do you really think I would have given you the green light to break Rule 12 if I didn't trust you to take care of her and protect her?
"Guess I just needed to hear you say it, Boss."
"You and Abby have a fight already?"
"You better not be ringing me to tell me something went wrong with Abby, McGee! Damn it, you know how much was at stake!"
"Your first reaction when I told you there was a problem, why was it that I had already screwed things up with Abby?"
"It's just, hearing that your first thought was that I'd screwed it up stung, like you'd already lost...
Those snippets of conversation all fit together to create the wider picture. They provided an explanation as to what Tim's words to Tony actually meant and they fit perfectly. Gibbs had created this sense of failure in Tim, and it was only Gibbs that could fix it.
He remembered his own thoughts on the matter and sat back in complete contemplation.
How many times had Tim done that over the years; allowed himself only a minute to deal with his internal conflicts, with no one noticing the lengths he'd gone through to hide the things he figured no one else on his team cared about? With his background and training, it wasn't something Tim had been prepared to have to do. Team Gibbs had obviously drilled it into him, but at what costs?
He even remembered Ducky's words:
"Jethro, I'm afraid this is most likely much more of a personal issue for the young man that even you or I can fully appreciate. Another setback, if you will, into being free of the dreadful incidents that have plagued him over the years. You simply need to recall our conversations with him on the subject to fully realize where his head might be at the moment."
Gibbs shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was time to go talk to Ziva and then to Abby. The protection details had just been changed.