A/N: We apologise for the delay.
Tissue Warning Advisory: Might wanna have one handy.
When Tony and Gibbs reached Tim's room; they both blanched at the sight in front of them as they looked on through the glass window. They both put on the face masks that the doctor had given them and found themselves rooted to the spot and completely unable to take their eyes off of their man. It was obvious that the illness had completely taken its toll; add that the shock of being captured by the person that had caused this, and you pretty much had a recipe for disaster. Well that disaster had soon taken a turn for the worst and Gibbs frowned at the rhythmic rise and fall of Tim's chest as the ventilator pushed air into his over taxed lungs. He couldn't help but feel as though he had failed his youngest agent in some way; he was laying there with a damn machine breathing for him and was surrounded by wires and tubing that were helping Tim's body heal.
Half an hour ago…
"How about we go and see him. You can tell him that yourself." Gibbs clapped Tony on the back and walked to the door; it wasn't long before he was followed out by his two colleagues and couldn't help but smile with deep relief at the fact that Tim was safe and the only things the young man had to worry about now, was getting better and building the bridges with Abby.
Gibbs and Tony walked towards the nurse's station on the second floor and hoped that the staff would let them in to sit with Tim for a while.
"Can I help you, sir?" A pretty young nurse was sitting at the desk writing out notes in a patient's file.
"I'm Special Agent Gibbs with NCIS. We're here to see Timothy McGee." Gibbs saw the nurses face sadden slightly and felt his heart tug at the look of sympathy that she threw his way.
"I'm sorry Agent Gibbs, but I can only discuss Tim's medical condition with the family."
"What? I'm not asking you to discuss his condition. I'm asking to see him; why is that a problem?" Gibbs demanded answers and fast. He had no idea why the staff were being evasive but he didn't like it.
"Please. We can't discu…."
"Lucy. These men are with me. I'll take them to Agent McGee's room." Both men turned at the familiar voice and were relieved to see Dr. Brad Pitt making his way over. "Gibbs. Tony. Well I would say it's a pleasure seeing as you aren't due for your appointment for a while Tony, but given the circumstances, I can't exactly say I'm pleased to see you both."
"Brad. Hey, what's going on, Man. They said Probie was being bought up here and now nurse killjoy there is being all weird." Tony was worried, there was something going on and both men felt the nagging sensation that something was wrong.
"Walk with me." Brad led them down to the small family room at the end of the corridor and closed the door behind him. "I was called in to help Tim but when I got to the room his condition has worsened. He presented originally with pleurisy and the onset of pneumonia but his condition deteriorated to the point where he was struggling to breathe. We've put him on a ventilator and taken him up to ICU for a short while."
"Vent? You've got him on a breathing machine?" Gibbs was practically vibrating with anger and fear. "What's wrong with him?"
"His body has been over taxed and he went into shock. The shock added to his breathing difficulties but when we checked his lungs again we found they were more congested than originally thought."
Tony grimaced at the memory of his lungs betraying him by trying to pull in one sluggish breath after the next. He remembered coughing so hard that you thought your lungs were disconnecting from the rest of your body. He never got put on the machine though and the fact that Tim now had him scared witless.
"Brad. What….Why the vent, man. Come on I had the damn plague and never got put on it."
"No, but you were close to being put on it Tony. If I remember correctly, we contemplated puttin you on it" Tony shuddered at the memory.
"Yeah, but you didn't."
"Tony. Look, Tim's body needs some time to heal. The ventilator is for extra support because the oxygen wasn't enough. I ordered it because he was panicking and in that state, his lungs weren't drawing enough oxygen in to keep his blood oxygenated. He'll be off it by morning."
"You tellin' us everything?" Gibbs was getting seriously antsy and wanted reassurance that Tim was truly alright.
"Ok, Look. Tim's not doing too well right now. He was having some difficulty breathing which was caused by numerous factors and is why he's getting some mechanical help now. I plan to wean him off it in the morning but if he's still struggling then he'll be on it for another day. He's currently being pumped full of antibiotics and we've got him sedated so there's no chance of him fighting the tube. He will be alright Gibbs. It's just going to take time."
Present time….
"It's just going to take time" Brads words echoed in his head as he gazed through the window at the frail figure in the bed. He wanted someone to explain how this vibrant, energetic young man who had worked hard to get in shape and stay healthy, had been reduced to this fragile, sick person he saw before him. How? In such a short space of time! Given the shock, he wasn't really surprised that one of his family members had ended up here.
"Boss, you coming?" Tony's question drew him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, Tony. Come on."
As they walked into the room, putting the required masks on as they walked, they were both feeling sucker punched by seeing Tim up close. They hadn't seen the drawn, dark closed eyes and the unearthly pallor to his skin earlier. If anything, he appeared almost corpselike in the bright, artificial light that bathed the room. It was too much and Gibbs found himself in desperate need of coffee but steadfastly stood by Tim's bed and grasped his hand.
Tony loved his sick and hurting teammate like a brother and as Tim lay sedated, Tony stood stock still, looking down at him; his heart was in his throat and seemed to throb in rhythm with the dreaded ventilator. The rest of the world suddenly faded away leaving just him and his little brother; his desperately hurting family member who was in need of comforting words from his big brother. Without even remembering he wasn't alone in the room, Tony just started talking to his friend the only way that came to mind:
"Probie, I'm so sorry this got so outta hand. So, sorry we weren't able to stop the bastard from getting to you…" Tony's throat closed up and he had to look away. He turned and walked the few steps there were to the window and looked out while he continued talking, raising his voice enough to still be heard. He had no idea why, but for some reason he needed to see the world outside; needed to see the joyous freedom beyond these sterile walls; he needed that comfortable control that it offered and leeched every bit of it as he made his heartfelt speech. If he even looked at Tim in his current condition for another minute, he feared it would crumble what little control he had on his anger at the unjustness and the pain his partner had been put through; was still going through.
"You've had such crappy luck with women, Probie. You know that I've really felt for you about that, right? Having Gibbs' okay to date Abby again should have been a walk in the park, not this nightmare. I…"
In a rare show of compassion, Gibbs silently stood by letting Tony have his say; he knew and understood Tony's compulsion to say what he had to say and sat on the sidelines whilst his older surrogate son bared his soul. They guy had been through a lot in the last few days; all of it while having to watch the younger man on the team suffer. As Tony's voice filled the room, Gibbs stayed rooted to the spot; where he could silently keep an eye on both of his boys. He glanced down at Tim and noticed the movement beneath his eyelids and just knew that at that moment, Tony's heartfelt speech wasn't for nothing and that the emotion that Tony was unable to internalize had obviously broken through Tim's sleep enough to rouse the younger man. His eyes finally fluttered open for a few seconds and Gibbs caught the movement of Tim's long eyelashes as they blinked sluggishly; he squeezed Tim's hand gently to let his younger agent know he was there but as Tim roused more from the sedated slumber he was in, his eyes started frantically searching for something. Gibbs stepped closer to the bed and leaned into Tim's line of sight; he waited for those green eyes to finally connect with his and let Tim use the moment to calm himself down.
"You know, Probie, I never meant for you to get hurt like this. I…" Tony's voice continued to fill the room. "I'm so sorry, man. We almost lost you. And now you're even more sick than you were before and I…"
Tim's agitation seemed to completely ease as Tony's voice washed over him and Gibbs could see his panic bleed away as his eyes stayed fixed on those of his boss. Gibbs' expression asked his patented silent question; Okay now? Tim nodded slightly but his eyes spoke the real truth as they filled with fear. The young man looked over at Tony for a long minute as he was still trying to express how seeing Tim go through this had affected him.
When Tim finally looked back to Gibbs, he couldn't help the long tear slip from his eye; Gibbs hadn't taken his eyes of his struggling sick agent and could see the tears well up before the attention was turned back to him. The younger man's eyes were now filled with pain for Tony mixed with the fear that had been there earlier so Gibbs stepped up to where he could sit at the edge of the bed and looked down to gently soothe Tim's unexplained fear and restlessness with an encouraging steady look and a supportive hand squeeze to his shoulder. As Tim accepted his boss' encouragement to calm down, the young man gave a tiny smile of thanks around the tube in his mouth in return even and let his body give in to the exhaustion and the sedation that still lingered. His eyes slowly closed as sleep claimed him once more.
Tony found himself with nothing else to say; the words had eluded him so he turned back to the bed feeling frustrated and at a loss as to what else he could do. He noticed Tim still sleeping with Gibbs sitting by his chest where he could reach out to him; This made him feel even more dejected.
"Great. The one time I bare my soul to the kid and he sleeps right through it." Sadness rolled of Tony in waves making Gibbs momentarily close his eyes in sympathy. The older agent carefully stood up and walked over to Tony to put a comforting hand on his Senior Field Agent's arm; looking him in the directly in the eyes to tell him what he needed to hear.
"He heard you, Tony."
Tony looked skeptical. "Yeah? Really?"
"Yeah. He woke up for a minute. He was listening to you. He watched you as you were talking."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Tony's complaint was filled with pain and regret.
"He was only awake for a minute." Gibbs left the answer simple, leaving Tim's emotions out of it.
"Still, Boss…"
"Tony, he's not goin' anywhere. You can talk to him tomorrow. For now, take Ducky back to his house and watch over him. Take care of him. Don't let him do anything but get a good night's sleep. You got me?"
"Yeah, Boss. I'm on it. What about Ziva and Abby?"
"They're on their way here."
"They're gonna wanna see that Ducky's okay." Tony reminded the older man.
"Yeah. I know. Go ahead and let them talk to him for a minute before you take him home. Tell the girls they can't come in here till I say so." Gibbs requested calmly.
"On it, Boss. He's gonna be okay, right?" Tony worried without worrying what it made him look like.
"He's gonna be fine, Tony. Go on." Tony nodded once more before he turned and left Tim's hospital room and was mildly surprised to find Ducky watching from the window in the hallway.
"Anthony. How is Timothy?" Ducky asked quietly. He had mentally tried to work through what little he'd seen of Tim's struggle to find peace of mind while he was awake. From where he'd been standing, he'd had a perfect view of Tim's restlessness and near panic and was happy that Gibbs knew how to calm him down.
"Dunno, Ducky, I never even noticed he was awake."
"Never mind, young man. There will be plenty of time for you to be there for him tomorrow."
"Yeah. I know. C'mon, let's head toward the waiting room. I'm sure Abby and Ziva are here by now and are probably anxious to see that you're okay. As soon as they've seen you, we can get you home."
True to Tony's prediction, both Ziva and Abby were pacing the waiting room and were anxious to see both Ducky and Tim.
"Ladies, calm yourselves down, please. I am perfectly fine." Ducky offered calmly before they could unleash their emotional overload on him.
"Oh, Ducky!" Abby cried when she saw him and wrapped him in a gentle hug; she was careful not to squeeze too hard but still managed to make it one of her best.
"Abigail, I am fine, my dear." Ducky reassured her as he hugged her back for a moment before withdrawing from her hug so he could turn and offer Ziva some reassurance as well.
"Ducky, you are sure that you are okay?" Ziva questioned seriously.
"Yes, Ziva. I am fine. Now, Timothy, is quite a different story though. He is suffering with the onset of Pneumonia and must be kept quiet and away from any risk for further infections. I'm afraid you will need to wear one of these face masks to enter his room and visits must be kept to a minimum until he is out of danger from outside influences that will tax his lungs."
"But, he's gonna be okay, right?" Abby's tearful question melted Ducky's resolve slighty.
"Yes, Abigail, He'll be fine so long as his body is given the proper time and medical attention to heal. Right now rest is the best thing for him, though I will warn you he is sedated to let the ventilator help…..Abigail! It is just to take the stress of his lungs and will hopefully be removed my morning" Ducky headed Abby's obvious panicked question at the mention of the breathing machine.
"Good. That's good. Just there to help?" Ducky nodded and offered Abby a small smile before reaching over and grabbing her hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.
"I'm taking Ducky home. Ziva, any problems, call me. We'll be at Ducky's." Tony said into the silence that had descended on the room unexpectedly. "Gibbs told me to tell you not to go into Probie's room till he gives you the all clear. There's a window so you can look in and see him from there. The room's just off to the right behind those doors. Probie's in there."
"Okay. Sleep well, Ducky. You need to look after your own health, yes?" Ziva replied calmly, knowing she would need to keep things level headed for Abby to keep her friend calm; especially after Tony and Ducky left.
"Don't worry, Ziva. I will be fine after a good night's rest."
Ziva hugged the M.E. and whispered in his ear. "I am grateful you were not more seriously hurt."
"Thank you, Ziva." Ducky replied quietly before he turned and headed out with Tony, leaving the ladies to make their way to Tim's room.
Abby couldn't stop the tears from returning as they both headed to Tim's room.
"Oh my God, why does this keep happening to Timmy? Why can't he ever catch a break?"
"Abby, do not have this conversation right now. " Ziva warned her, knowing it was much more of a personal conversation than Abby even realized at the moment and the answers that would surely be given would not be pleasant for the Goth.
"You're right, Ziva." Abby said uncharacteristically and seemed to go quiet. The silence stayed with them until they reached the window outside Tim's room. "Oh, God! Look at him!" she cried softly.
"Abby, you must remember what Ducky said. He will be fine with proper medical attention and rest."
"Look, even Gibbs is worried!" Abby observed as she spied the boss sitting watch over the sleeping patient.
Ziva gently tapped on the window and Gibbs' head turned in their direction. Looking at the patient one more time, the boss got up and came out of the room, closing the door behind him. Taking off his mask, he spoke to them.
"You two all right?"
"We are fine, Gibbs." Ziva's calm answer was strangely soothing to Gibbs.
"Oh, Gibbs!" Abby flung herself into his arms and held on for dear life.
"Abby, he's gonna be okay. Ducky tell you the restrictions on visits?"
"Yes, we must wear the masks and we must keep him quiet. Rest is best for him now." His agent recited so that he wouldn't have to repeat the necessary precautions needed for Tim's recovery "He also said he is sedated and the ventilator can be removed tomorrow." That part was to reassure Abby more than anything.
"Right."
"Gibbs, I have to go in there! I have to touch him, make sure he's okay, for real!"
"Abby. No. Until you can calm down, the best place for you to see that he's okay is from right here."
"But, Gibbs!"
"No, Abby! No one is waking him up. Look, the sedative is mild and stops him from fighting the ventilator so he can be woken up. He's gonna get the rest he needs to recover. You got me?"
"Gibbs, I would never…"
"Abby, the answer is no. At least until he wakes up enough to realize where he is."
"Wait, he hasn't woken up at all yet?"
"Only for a minute and he was disorientated. Abby the drugs are keeping him drowsy enough to sleep though being on the machine. He woke up before and didn't even notice it." That had been playing on Gibbs' mind but he was assured that it was normal with the medication that they had Tim on.
"Oh, my poor Timmy!"
"Relax, Abby. I got him. You two, go get something to eat, come back here in an hour, maybe he'll be awake by then because they're dialing it back. Bring me back a cup of coffee."
"Okay."
As the women did as he requested, he breathed out a sigh of relief. That relief lasted only for a minute as Tim started to become agitated; his head tossing against the pillow as much as the breathing tube would allow. Seeing the movement from Tim's bed out of the corner of his eye; Gibbs made a beeline back into the room and to Tim's side and placed his hand on Tim's arm. He quietly spoke to him in hope that his words would soothe his agent.
"Tim. Relax. Easy now... Look at me."
Tim stopped panicking and looked at his boss; fear screamed from eyes as his mind fought to understand what he was waking up to. Where he hadn't even seemed to register the breathing tube when he'd woken earlier, now it was obvious that he knew it was there as his body's natural instinct to breath kicked in and he started to fight against the machine.
"Tim. Relax. Let the ventilator breathe for you. That's it." Gibbs kept encouraging as the young man did as he was told and relaxed, allowing the machine to pick back up on breathing for him.
"I'm gonna let the Doc come in and check on you okay? Let's see if they'll let you lose the ventilator." Gibbs spoke quietly in an effort to keep Tim calm even as he pushed down on the call button for the nurse's station.
Tim nodded, but didn't take his eyes off his rock of comfort. Gibbs held Tim's gaze and requested the doctor's presence when the call button was answered a moment later. When the doctor came in, he checked Tim's vital signs and glanced at the monitors that were attached to his patient. Finally, looking pleased he turned to Tim and spoke to him.
"Tim, your vital signs are looking good and your lungs are sounding better. You've still got a ways to go, so we're gonna keep the precautions in place. You're probably wanting the tube out – and we'll do that now, but you're gonna have to remain semi-upright and use a nasal canula until your lungs recover a bit more."
Tim nodded to show he understood and cooperated as the Doctor and two nurses instructed him in how to help them remove the breathing tube and replace it with the substitute that would at least allow him to talk.
"I'm going to count to three. I want you to try to exhale; alright, one, two, three." On the third count, the doctor pulled the tube out and quickly replaced it with a non re-breather mask. Once he was satisfied that Tim was breathing relatively easy, he took it away and put the canula on.
"Now. I want you to rest. I will allow visits, but they must be brief, no more than fifteen minutes per hour and no more than two people at a time. The remainder of the time, I expect you to sleep. Your body is in desperate need of all the sleep it can get. I know your throat is going to be sore so if you want some ice chips or water, you can. Just small amounts."
Tim nodded and let his eyes slide closed and he slipped back into sleep before he got the chance to have a drink. As the Doctor prepared to leave the room, Gibbs stepped out with him and pulled him to one side.
"Doc. I don't want him left alone. After what he's been through with his breathing problems, it'll scare him to think no one's there for him." The doctor would have argued, but he could see the genuine concern that nested in the steely blue eyes of the older man.
"All right. But that doesn't change my decision. Two people in his room at a time and no more."
With a silent nod of agreement, Gibbs headed back into Tim's room and reclaimed the seat by the bed. It was positioned perfectly and he knew without a shadow of a doubt, that Tim would know he was there and that he was not alone.
When Abby and Ziva returned an hour later, Tim was still sleeping. It wasn't the sound, peaceful sleep that Gibbs had hoped for but a fitful, tormented sleep where he found himself repeatedly having to whisper reassurances to the young man that he was no longer in danger and that he would be fine.
"Easy Tim. That's it, everything's alright. You're safe now so get some rest, alright…that's it. No one's gonna hurt you anymore. I've got your six." Tim only completely settled back down when Gibbs went the extra step and voiced the fact that he was there to watch Tim's back.
As the glass was once again gently tapped on to get his attention, the boss had just gotten the young man to settle back down into another period of peaceful sleeping and was reluctant to walk away from him. But, he knew the ladies needed to be reassured as well, especially Abby. And so, he forced himself to go out into the hallway and talk to them.
Abby was unhappy that Tim was obviously still not awake and was beginning to get wound up. She was ready to pitch her reasoning for being allowed into the room when Gibbs finally came out. Much to their surprise, the boss gestured for Ziva to go sit with the patient while he remained standing between Abby and the door to Tim's room. Before Ziva had taken more than a few steps, Gibbs gave her an important instruction.
"Make sure he can see you when he opens his eyes. Don't let him think he's alone."
Ziva nodded and quietly slipped into the room to replace Gibbs at Tim's bedside.
"Gibbs!" Abby railed against him as Ziva closed the door behind her and walked over to the chair Gibbs had vacated.
The boss was unrelenting and getting angry. "Abby. Do I need to call Tony and have him come get you?"
"Why would you need to do that?" Abby's confusion was palpable and she felt hurt at the fact that he even had to ask that question.
"So Ducky can give you something to help calm you down when Tony gets you back there."
"Oh. No. I'm sorry. I just really need to know that he's okay."
"Abby. Listen to me. Right now, the last thing McGee needs to be thinking about, is how things stand between the two of you. He's gotta concentrate on getting better."
"Of course! I wasn't …"
"If you can't calm down and be here for him as a friend who will put what he needs first; then you don't need to be here right now."
"I can do that. I can be calm. Of course, what he needs to get better comes first, Gibbs!"
"Good." Gibbs kissed her on the cheek and turned to go back into the room. Stopping before he opened the door; he remembered something that needed to be checked out. "Get your friend that called you about Alex being out of the hospital here as soon as possible. I need to talk to her."
"Gibbs!"
"Abby, don't tell her why but get her out here! I wanna know for sure, that there's no one else out there that had anything to do with this.
"She had nothing to do with this!"
"That's what you said about that bastard Alex! Do I really need to remind you that we almost lost McGee today? Look at him, Abby! Take a good hard look at what he's going through and tell me that your objections are more important than getting to the bottom of this! It was your objections about Alex's guilt that got us where we are as it is!"
"I'll call her." Abby answered remorsefully as tears glistened in her eyes.
"Now would be a good time." Gibbs snarked at her in aggravation, for once, not swayed by the sight of her tears.
As Abby pulled out her phone to make the call, Gibbs turned the knob on the door and headed into the room muttering, "Unbelievable!" as he went. When Ziva saw the boss come back in, she vacated his chair and quietly told him that she thought the best thing for her to do was to take Abby back to the convent so that the Goth could rest before she took her to work in the morning. Gibbs agreed with her and sent up a silent prayer of thanks when they'd gone.
Gibbs spent a long night keeping watch and periodically having to calm Tim's night terrors. Apparently, this run in with Alex had left scars and Gibbs felt his heart breaking slightly at the deep rooted fear that seemed to plague Tim.
"You're safe now son. He can't get to you anymore."