Maybe it's All For The Best
Chapter13: Cut
"I can't believe them!" Roe ranted, pacing up and down the bedroom I now called mine. I sighed and hugged the pillow to me. "Why... just WHY!"
"I don't know Roe... to protect me?" I wrinkled my nose. "Was I really that pathetic that everyone thought I needed saving?" I slammed my palm against the pillow in frustration. Roe sighed and stopped pacing.
"It's because you were dating the target Riles... I mean I can see why they did it... it's just the way they did it is a little dodgey..." She scowled again. "But you were dating the one thing that the Death Eaters wanted... not to mention Voldemort" She shrugged and sat down. She glanced at me. "Are you ok?"
I just shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know what I was at the moment. My sister and mother sabotaged my relationship, Harry pretty much said he still loved me and I was engaged to be married. My emotions had gone for a walk because there was just too much to take in right now.
"He still loves me Rosalie... he said he regretted everything" I murmured, resting my head on the pillow.
"I told you he would" she shrugged.
"Yeah... but I thought when he did, I wouldn't care anymore. I thought I would think it was funny... But I don't..." I replied. "Why do I still care?" I ran a frustrated hand through my hair.
"Because you love him" she shrugged. "Simple"
"I do not!" I said indignantly, holding out my left hand. The ring had never weighed more and my hand fell to the bed.
"Yeah put the rock away, Princess" She waved my hand away. "I just mean... Harry was your first love. The first time you ever felt... it... that will never leave you babe"
I dropped my eyes do my hand and sighed. "But I don't want to love him... I love Nate"
"And you can love Nate too... you'll just always have that little spot in your heart that has Harry's name on it" She shrugged.
The more I stared at the ring the more I hated it. The more I hated it the less I wanted to be engaged. A tear rolled down my cheek.
"Riles... what's going on?" Roe shuffled up on the bed and placed an arm around my shoulder.
"I don't... think I want to get married anymore" I mumbled, tugging the ring off my finger.
"Then don't" She took the ring from my hands and studied it.
"I have too" I replied miserably.
"Why?" She laughed. "Who said 'you must marry Nate Carter'?"
"My fans. The public. Nate" I shrugged again. "Everyone who knows who I am says I must marry him" I bit my lip. "And I just... don't want to"
"No one is forcing you" She muttered.
I didn't say anything because she wouldn't understand. No one would. If I didn't get married to Nate, I would have no one. I would be in the position I didn't want to be in, the rope so tight around my waist that I wouldn't be able to breathe. At least if I married Nate I could stay in New York and not see him.
"I think you may have bruised Harry's face too by the way" Roe snorted, brushing some hair off my face. I winced.
"I didn't mean to slap him... he just said I wasn't happy again" I groaned. Roe laughed.
"Well he's right about that isn't he?"
"Maybe" I grumbled. "I'll apologise later... I just... need to cool off" I sighed and put my head back against the pillows. "You don't mind me staying here do you?" I asked her as she kissed my head and stood.
"Not at all... I really miss having my partner in crime around" She winked. I rolled my eyes with a smile on my lips.
"Good... I just can't be around mum or Avery right now" I closed my eyes.
"I don't blame you... I'm going to be having a few choice words with them when I see them" She growled. "I love you little sister"
"Love you too Roe" I smiled as the light went out. I took a deep breath and sighed into the darkness.
I was just about asleep when my phone rang, making me jump. I picked it up.
Nate Calling.
I groaned and contemplated not answering it.
"Hello"
I hate missing calls.
"Hey baby... what are you doing?"
"I'm just in bed... had a pretty big day today" I sighed, the sound of his voice not making me as happy as it used to.
"Oh wow, it's only like 8 or something isn't it?" He asked with a laugh.
"Yeah. Yeah it is"
"So anyway... some photos of you have surfaced in the tabloids..." He started, his voice taking on a slight edge to it. I cringed. Pap shots of me and Harry in London. I could just imagine how bad they looked now. "Who's the guy Riley... and why aren't you wearing your engagement ring?"
"The dark haired boy is my sisters... boyfriend..." I lied quickly. "He was taking me into London to get my charger for my phone" I made up.
"Your sister's boyfriend wraps his arms around your waist on a regular basis? And you hug him? And hold hands with him and eats ice cream as you take romantic walks along the river Thames?" His voice increased in volume with each word. "And where is your fucking engagement ring?"
I held the phone away from my ear and contemplated hanging up on him. He was the last person I wanted to talk to right now... Along with Harry, Avery and my mother.
"Well... Harry and I are just friends. Babe you know how pap shots are... taken at JUST the wrong time to make things look bad... Harry's a good friend of mine, nothing more" I lied again. I put my hand to my nose to see if it had grown "And I wasn't wearing my ring because I didn't know if we were going public yet with our engagement... so I left it off" I shrugged, hoping that sounded plausible.
"I don't like these pictures Riley. They're bad for us" He grunted. "You should come home early"
"Babe, I can't... I really need to stay with my family..."
"DAMNIT RILEY!" He yelled down the phone "There is NO reason for you to be with your family. No one is dying, no one is getting married or having a bab... get your ass home now"
"Nate... I..." I felt the tears fall down my face. "I can't ok? I need to be here right now... you wouldn't understand why" I sniffed.
"Are you crying?" He demanded.
"No. I have to go. I need to sleep" I mumbled.
"Whatever Riley" He snapped.
"I love you"
There was a pause. "I love you too" He sighed. The line went dead.
My stomach felt like I'd eaten a block of ice. I wanted so bad to love him properly... but I couldn't... I just... couldn't. Not while the rope was so tight.
"We did it for YOU, Riley. It wasn't to be spiteful or vindictive... we did it to keep you safe!" Avery yelled at me. I balled up my fists in anger.
"I wasn't so fragile and incompetent that I couldn't take care of myself you know! You broke my heart you BITCH!" I shrieked back. Mum, Avery and Dad ambushed me at the apartment because I'd refused to see them and talk to them. I avoided home, I avoided the burrow and if they were anywhere I was a disappeared again before they could say anything to me. It had been five days, too much for mum to handle.
Harsh? Maybe... But I was so pissed with them it wasn't even remotely funny.
"Riley, what your sister is trying to say is we were just protecting you" Dad interjected diplomatically. I fixed my glare on him.
"By ruining my relationship?" I shrieked. "It's ok for them to break my heart and crush me but only because they were protecting me?"
He opened his mouth to say something else but though better of it and snapped it closed. Raising three daughters obviously meant he knew when to keep his mouth shut.
"Darling, we just wanted you safe... You were in a bad position by being his girlfriend. They would have killed you" Mum sobbed. I felt a little bad for making her cry but I folded my arms.
"You don't know that" I shook my head. "You don't know what they were thinking, Mum..."
"I do!" she exclaimed. "Baby I do... Draco warned me of his fathers' plans..."
"YOU were in on it AS WELL?" I yelled and pointed a finger at the pale haired ferret who was leaning against the wall, trying to seem inconspicuous.
"I didn't tell them to break you and Harry up Riles... I just prewarned everyone that something could happen to you" he held his hands up in defence. I scowled.
"Baby we did it to protect you, please understand that... We're so sorry but it was the only way" Avery spoke again, this time her voice calm. "Please don't be mad"
"Don't be mad?" I let out a barking laugh. "How the fuck would you feel if it was you and Fred that was broken up?" I threw my hands in the air. "How would you fucking feel if Fred turned around to you one night and told you he didn't love you anymore and never fucking wanted to see you again!"
"Language Riley" Dad ordered. "We just didn't want you to die... Is that so hard to ask from a family that loves you?"
"Dad... They went behind my back to break me and Harry up and you're pulling me up for swearing? Really?" I stared at him. He just shrugged. I paced over to the window, feeling the anger at my family slowly fizzle out. "I thought he hated me. That's why I never came home... Because it hurt too much" I murmured, looking down onto the street below. "I couldn't understand what I did wrong to make him suddenly hate me"
Arms wrapped around my shoulder and squeezed me. "You didn't do anything baby, but it had to be believable in case they got you and read your mind" Mum murmured. She pressed her lips to my cheek and I sighed. "I'm so sorry baby"
"Were you ever going to tell me?" I asked, turning to face them.
"We didn't want to..." Mum shook her head.
"We knew you'd hate us" Avery shrugged. "You have a habit of being really stubborn when you're mad"
"Which is why I'm surprised you've forgiven them so quickly... and you hated me for months when it came out about me and Draco" Roe crossed her arms and pouted.
"Well you were dating Draco Malfoy... evil Slytherin and Harry's worst enemy... No offence Ferret" I smiled at Draco.
"None taken... although, that was a good slap you landed on Potter the other day" He grinned. I winced.
"You should go and apologize to Harry for slapping him" Mum brushed some hair off my face.
"Yeah, the bruise has only just faded" Roe grinned. My eyes widened.
"I really bruised him?" I gasped., my hand flying to my mouth.
"No. Roe's just being a pain" Avery sighed. Roe grinned at me.
"Was a pretty spectacular welt though... Kind of like the one I gave you in 5th year" Roe leant her head against Draco's shoulder.
"That was a black eye love. Not a welt" he shook his head.
"And a bloody nose" Avery added. Mum and Dad both look horrified at Roe.
"All that and you're still with her?" Dad asked Draco in shock.
"Oh this was before we were together..." Draco shook his head and kissed Roe's cheek.
Dad just nodded, still perplexed about the relationship his middle daughter had with the Slytherin Prince. "Least you know not to tick her off"
"Riley go to Harry's apartment" Mum shook her head at Roe and Draco's laughing. "Apologize for slapping him... You two were just beginning to be friends again" she sighed sadly.
Part of me wanted to shake my head and not go. I could easily apologize him at the Weasley's or something... I didn't have to go and find him...
But I wanted to.
I wanted to see him and tell him I was sorry for slapping him and hating him and staying away so long.
I wanted to tell him that he was right, I wasn't happy...
That I still loved him as much now as I did then...
I wanted to tell him all this but I couldn't. An apology would have to do.
"Where's his apartment?" I asked, realizing I'd never been there before.
"London. I'll apparate you" Roe held her arm out to me. I nodded and took it, closing my eyes against the sensation of side along apparition.
When I opened my eyes we were standing in an alley between two giant buildings.
"Are you ok Riles? You looked a little pale back there" she steadied me with a hand on my arm.
"Yeah. I'm ok. I just have to apologize" I nodded stiffly.
"You still love him, don't you?" she gave me a sympathetic look.
"Yup" I let the p pop. "So which building?" I glanced at my watch and saw it said 5:06. He'd be home from work by now. Probably playing with Teddy. The thought made me smile.
"This way" she pulled on my arm and out of the alley. She led me up to an expensive looking apartment building just near Leister Square. "It's apartment 24G. Just knock on the door. He'll be happy to see you" she brushed hair off my altars. I suddenly felt very self conscious.
"Do I look ok?" I bit my lip. All I had on was a pair of black shorts, flip flops and a white singlet. I didn't even have makeup on and I hadn't brushed my hair today, it was just thrown up in a messy pony tail.
"Gorgeous as always Riles" she smiled at me. "Now go!" she pushed me toward the elevators and laughed. I smiled and entered them. A young couple stared at me like I was a ghost, the girls mouth hanging open slightly. I knew what they were thinking.
"I'm not her" I sighed, running a hand through my hair, hoping they'd believe my lies.
"Wow, you look so much like her!" the girl squeaked. I smiled.
"Thanks. I get it a lot... I'm starting to wonder if my dad had another kid mum wasn't aware of" I laughed. The doors opened and I exited, leaving them behind.
My stomach erupted with butterflies as I approached the door marked 24G.
I breathed in and out and raised my hand. 3 knocks sounded so much louder than they should have but I waited patiently.
The door opened.
"uh... Sarah?" I raised an eyebrow, the butterflies dying instantly.
"Oh... what do you want?" she asked with a scowl.
"I need to talk to Harry... It's urgent" I stated, gritting my teeth. Sarah folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.
"What about?" She asked.
"None of your damn business... can you go and get him please?" I snapped at her. She ran her tongue over her teeth as she thought about what I said.
"He doesn't want to talk to you... Not after you slapped him" she shook her head "So I suggest you go now" she started to close the door but stopped. "Oh by the way...We're about to have dinner so tell Molly not to expect us" she smiled once before slamming the door in my face.
I didn't know what to do. Did Harry really not want to talk to me? I felt tears spring to my eyes and took a step back. I apparated to my room at Roe and Draco's and fell face first on the bed. I lost my chance. It was time to cut the rope.
Plea's Note:
So I feel like shooting Sarah in the face... who's with me? I posted some character pictures up.. Nate, Teddy and The Ring... www . pleaofinsanityfiction . tumblr . com go check it out.
Xx Plea