Chapter IX

In which Harper does some thinking.

Harper's POV

I watched as Embry and Jacob ate their sandwiches. I was too confused to know what to think. Ever since I saw Embry my whole mind set has been shattered. At first I was perfectly ok with it all. All I wanted was to know, but now that I do, I don't know what to think. My head keeps telling me that all of this is impossible. That these men are crazy, that there's no way what they've said could be true. But I saw with my own eyes as the turned from giant wolves into men, very attractive men. That was another thing. My brain keeps shouting, yelling at me that it's irresponsible and dangerous to have such strong feelings for someone, let alone someone I just met. But that's exactly what I had. Very, very, strong feelings. My heart was screaming at my head to believe, telling me that everything they said was true. My heart believed every word Embry spoke, told me I could trust him with my life, and that he'd never let me down. Damnit! This was ridiculous! I really am turning into Mia, letting my emotions get the better of me, but they seem to be impossible to ignore now. My emotions are so strong, my heart so sure, that I just can't seem to think logically anymore.

I asked Mia if this was how she always felt. She sighed and looked at me with sympathy. "Sometimes." She answered. "It sometimes very hard to ignore the little voice in my head, which sounds remarkably like yours, that's telling me that I'm being stupid and emotional. That I'm being illogical. But I just have to decide which one to trust. Sometimes, there isn't a logical way to explain something, Harp. Sometimes, you just have to trust your heart to know what it's doing. Trust your intuition, because more often then not, you don't always know everything. When you're missing facts, logic isn't very reliable. But sometimes, logic sounds so much better, so much simpler. But it can't always be that way, and most of the time it isn't. So I trust my own instinct." She said to me, her voice sounded contemplative.

"What is it your heart and head are disagreeing on?" Mia asked me.

"My head is telling me that all of this is crazy. And my heart is telling me to trust, to reach out and grab hold of him and never let him go, crazy or not. It doesn't make sense." I told her, my voice sounded scared, I hoped she didn't notice. She did of course. She smiled at me.

"I know exactly what you mean. I've just been having the same argument with myself." She gazed in the direction of the boys; I noticed the look on her face as she looked at Jacob. I didn't recognize it, it was content and crazed at the same time, and I wasn't sure how it was possible to have those emotions at once. If I weren't feeling exactly that same thing I wouldn't believe it was.

"Which feels more right to you? Try, just this once to feel, instead of think." Mia told me.

"I don't think I can, Mia." I said to her. I really didn't, it just wasn't in my nature.

"Like I said, don't think. How does it feel when you go with what your head is telling you? It's saying that this is crazy, we should have them locked up and never look back. Leave them behind like an odd experience in the woods. We could go back home and never speak of it again. Never think or talk about Jacob or Embry anymore. Forget them." As she spoke my heart screamed at her to stop. That possibility was excruciating. I couldn't do it. My mind even protested the pain it cause to imagine it.

"No." I whispered. Mia smiled at me and nodded.

"The other option, listening to your heart. To trust what Jacob and Embry tell us. To get to know them, and accept that to be friends with them means to deal with crazy things that don't always make sense." Mia continued. I nodded. Though my mind remained doubtful, my heart eased with this plan, though it wanted to make an alteration with the word 'friend'.

I was going to have to listen to Mia, and my emotions. Just don't let your emotions get too out of hand. I told myself. But I thought that in meeting Embry all the walls I'd built up to keep my emotions at bay were going to come crashing down, and fast. I was utterly terrified at the thought. This can't be good, can it? Only one way to find out. I took a deep breath and ate my sandwich. This was going to be hard, but maybe it was worth it after all.

I didn't know what to say to Embry or Jacob at this point. Both of them had finished their sandwiches. Embry was watching me. It wasn't in a creepy stalker way, or as if he was expecting something; he was just looking at me like there was nothing he'd rather be doing. I caught his eye and he smiled. My heart rate picked up, and I was sure it wasn't healthy for it to be going so fast. God, what's wrong with me? I heard Mia and Jacob talking, but I couldn't hear what they were saying; I was too caught up in the moment I was sharing with the beautiful werewolf in front of me.

I knew it wasn't healthy for me to feel so strongly about someone I just met. But I couldn't help it. The instant I saw him I had been drawn to him. Or at least I had been after the initial shock of giant wolves appearing in our camp site. But through out the afternoon, I had become more and more attached to him.

Embry gave a prolonged blink. I remembered that they had been running for five days without eating or sleeping. Now that they had eaten, they must be tired.

"What do you think Harp?" Mia asked me.

"What? I'm sorry I wasn't listening." I told her. She rolled her eyes at me.

"I asked if you thought it was ok for these two to stay with us for a while. I said you and I could share a bed, and they could figure out who got the other bed and who got the couch, unless they too wanted to share a bed as well." She explained.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds good." And it did. "One of you can have my bed." I said to Embry and Jacob. They nodded sleepily. I laughed at them. If they weren't so cute I wouldn't have considered it. Stop thinking things like that. Oh never mind! It's useless. "So which one of you will be sticking me with Miss Kicks-a-lot?" I asked.

"Embry can." Jacob said, smirking. Embry shot him a grateful glance and nodded.

"Well you two can go clean up and take a nap. You both look ready to keel over." Mia said. They nodded again and went to the camper.

I watched as they walked away.

"So Embry's gonna be in your bed huh? Are you sure you don't want to be there with him?" Mia asked me teasingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said unconvincingly. She could tell what I was thinking, and she saw me check out his ass earlier. Not that anyone could blame me. He had a great ass! I shook my head at my own thoughts; I was defiantly as bad as a guy when it came to things like that. That was part of the reason I chose the specialization I had. Mia was the only one who hadn't questioned that. I laughed, Mia was normally worse than I was. Her mind was in the gutter all the time, or at least it had been until what I like to call 'The Horny Bastard Incident', two months ago. He had always annoyed me, but I hadn't thought he'd be so shallow.

"I saw you two." Mia said, smiling.

"Well, are you sure you want me to share a bed with you? Wouldn't you rather have Jacob to snuggle with?" I shot back at her.

"Yes I would." She said calmly. "But who wouldn't want that hottie in bed with them?" She asked as though it was totally obvious. I laughed, good old Mia, I thought. Although she had a point, I really wouldn't mind having Embry in my bed.

"Isn't it sad, that as much as we say and think stuff like that, we never actually have it happen?" I said with false sadness.

"Ah yes. We talk the talk, but we don't walk the walk." We both started laughing. We hadn't laughed like this in a while. That's why we were taking this trip in the first place. She'd been depressed since the incident; she lost a lot of her confidence because of it. And I was just fed up with my family, and stressed from school. So I convinced her to go for a change of scenery. And here we were, with two werewolves whom we are both extremely attracted to.

I thought of my attraction to Embry. It was more than a physical attraction, though he was very good looking. It was an actual pull that I had felt since I had seen him. Once I got over the initial shock of his appearance that is. It was as though a bond had been formed in that moment when our eyes had first met. Where did it come from though? These feelings seemed to appear out of thin air. It sounded like a fairy tale. It sounded like-

"Mia, don't you think that our feelings for these two men are oddly strong, considering we just met them this morning?" I asked her.

"Yes, I do. I'm a little overwhelmed to tell you the truth." Mia said slowly. "Every time I look at him, I feel like that's exactly what I want for the rest of my life. To look at him, to see him every day, to be with him. Even for me that's a little irrational." She said, shaking her head slowly.

"Remember what they said earlier? About the imprinting thing?" I hedged. Mia looked at me, and nodded slowly. She knew where I was going with this.

"You don't think? I mean they never did say how the imprint themselves were effected. It might be a two way thing, and well, we're experiencing our own end. I know it sounds crazy but-" Mia held up her hand to silence me.

"First of all that's my line. 'I know it sounds crazy but…' isn't that what I'm always saying to you?" She laughed. "And no it doesn't. I was thinking along those lines earlier, and I think Jacob may have been hinting at it." Mia continued seriously.

"Let's not say anything to them; I want to hear it from his own lips if it's true." I said to her.

"Yeah. Plus, I don't want to look like an idiot if we're wrong." Mia conceded. I shook my head. This was a major reversal of roles.

"For once, I don't think we are." I told her. "But I still want him to say it." Mia nodded in agreement.

"Well this has been a very trying day. I know it's not even four yet, but I'm going to sleep as well." Mia said.

"Ok, I'll be in in a bit. I think I'm just going to think for a while." I told her. She raised her eyebrows at me.

"Try feeling for once, you might find it isn't as horrible as you make it seem. You only ever see the problem end, there are good things that come of it too you know." And with that, she went into the camper.

AN: Oh My Carlisle! What is that 'Horny bastard incident'? well it's a lot like what it sounds like, a run in with a horny bastard, but you'll have to wait to find out what happened at this run in, and why it effected Mia the way it did.

And before you ask, NO she was not raped. So don't even go there.

I'm sorry there wasn't much dialouge in this chapter, but the point of it was Harper's internal struggle type thing, to show the effects of Imprinting. How love is a two way things, and so is imprinting. It's illogical and emmensly strong. It effects both parties involved, and that's what i hope i showed with this chapter. What do you think, did i suceed?

Also, This chapter is dedicated to waitsiriusly411 because she helped me get the words i couldn't find. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Anyway, what did you think? Did i get my point across?

Much love, Bridget