Maybe it's All For the Best

Chapter 19:Smoochy

"So what was all that about yesterday?" Roe asked with a huge grin when I walked into the kitchen the next morning. I adjusted Teddy on my hip and chose a tactical path for this conversation.

"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow. "Do you want some cereal, Teddy?" I asked the toddler on my hip.

"Yesh please!" he grinned happily and clapped his hands. Roe snorted into her toast.

"I mean... the smoochy smoochy time you had with Harry" She winked. "We saw you from the window"

"Oh did you, now?" I shrugged. "Must have been a trick of the light or something" I placed Teddy at the table and went about making his breakfast.

"Yeah so that's a lie because Hermione and Ron caught you smooooching outside the broom shed" She waved a piece of toast in my direction.

"They were in that broom shed a very long time... wonder what they were doing" I said vaguely. "Here sweetie" I placed the bowl in front of Teddy and brushed his once-again blue curls off his face. Now he looked like Tonks.

"Fanks!" He smiled happily and chowed down on his food.

"Come on Riley, stop messing around... you and Harry kissed, you can't deny that" Roe shook her head. "Unless you're denying it because you know you enjoyed it and want mo-ore" She added in a sing song voice. I glanced at her and narrowed my eyes briefly. "I'm right aren't I?" She grinned.

"No you aren't. I didn't enjoy it, I don't want it again and you should stop trying to guess what I'm feeling" I huffed and dropped my chin into my hands. She was still grinning.

"Riles, when will you learn you can't keep anything from your big sister?"

"Why can't I have a secret for once?" I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"So what are you gonna do? Wait till he comes home tonight and then sex him up?"

I clamped my hands over Teddy's ears and glared at her. "Rosalie! There is a small child in the room, who I don't need repeating phrases like 'sex him up' to his father" I reprimanded her.

"But really... are you? Because I'll be happy to take Teddy and Draco out to the movies or something"

"ROSALIE!" I exclaimed. "No I will not be... doing... that... with Harry when he comes home" I glanced at Teddy to make sure he wasn't listening. "I can't"

"But you want to" She pointed out.

"That's not the point..." I shook my head.

"What is then?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"The point is... Nothing can happen between Harry and I because I'm engaged, I live in New York, and I'm in love with someone else" I listed off on my fingers. "Last night was just a complete lapse in concentration" I sighed.

She raised an eyebrow. "Sorry to poke holes in Boat of Excuses... but...You can break off an engagement, you can move back home and model in London and you're so not in love with Nate like you are with Harry" She listed off three points on three fingers and smiled smugly. "So there" She added when I didn't say anything.

"You know what Rosalie... end of discussion" I sighed, dropping my half finished bowl of cereal in the sink.

"You know I'm right" She giggled to herself in a sing song voice. I sighed and crossed my arms, staring out into the street below. "I don't know why you just don't... admit.. I'm... oh god" I turned quickly as she shot out of her seat and fled from the room.

Teddy cast a worried look after her. "Roe-Roe?" He asked in a small voice.

"Stay there Ted" I muttered, pacing after Roe. Once in the lounge I heard her in the bathroom. "Roe, is everything ok?" I knocked on the door.

"Yeah... I'm ok" There was a pause. "Do you have a hair tie?"

I pushed open the door and walked over to her. She was hunched over the toilet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. I rushed forward and pulled her hair off her face and neck as she threw up again.

I tied her hair up and then went about getting a wet wash cloth for her face.

"Roe, are you..."

"I think so" She murmured in a small voice. "What the fuck am I gonna do?" She tucked a stray strand of hair over her ear.

"Uhm? Have a baby? Live with your family happily ever after?" I chuckled. I glanced at her and my chuckled stopped. She looked more scared than I'd ever seen her in her life. "Roe it'll be ok" I slid down the wall next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because Draco doesn't want kids" She shrugged a shoulder. "I've thought I might be pregnant for a week now... I'm just too scared to say something"

"Why would you be? Draco loves you so much, he'd do pretty much anything for you... Why are you scared?" I stroked her hair.

"Because he has always said he doesn't want kids... He doesn't want them to grow up as screwed up as he was" She pulled her legs to her chest.

"Roe, I really don't think that's possible considering the family he has around him now" I kissed her head. "When can you do the charm?"

"Well I'm only two days late so... tomorrow would be more accurate" She shrugged. "What if he doesn't want it? What if..." her sentence was left unsaid as she wrenched herself away from me to puke again. I heard a knock at the front door and jumped.

"Honey... Draco would never leave you... he would love you no matter what and I'm pretty sure he would love a kid" I jumped up and patted her back. "I'll be back in a second ok?"

"Eyeley?" I heard a small voice outside the door.

"Coming Teddy" I sighed. "You gonna be ok?" I asked Roe.

"Yeah... when this kid stops making me hurl up everything I eat" She smiled weakly. I laughed and opened the door on Teddy.

"Hey Champ" I smiled at him. "Gonna come and open the door with me?" I asked him.

"Yesh! It might be Daddy!" he skipped beside me, waving his arms around in excitement. I scooped him up onto my hip and pulled the door to the apartment open. "DADDY!" Teddy screamed.

"Hey Ted" Harry smiled at him. His gaze shifted over to me and my heart beat erratically in my chest. "Good morning"

"Long night?" I asked, letting him in. He shrugged out of his work robes and nodded. He pressed a kiss to my cheek and ran a hand across my back. I walked out of the room and placed Teddy on the couch.

"Very long night... We didn't catch the Death Eaters" He groaned, flopping down on to the couch next to him. Teddy crawled into his Dads lap and stuck his thumb in his mouth. "I'm sorry for not being able to hang out last night" He smiled lazily at me. I shrugged and played with the shag on the cushion next to me.

"It's ok... Probably for the best..." He glanced at me, looking a little surprised. "I am engaged after all" I murmured quietly.

"But... you said..."

"I know what I said Harry... But I love Nate as well... I made a promise to him that I have to commit to... And this place isn't my home any more... New York is"

"Yet you never refer to it as your home" He said sharply. "I hear you say you're happy to be home, and it's so good to be home... when you're referring to here... but when you're referring to New York, you say 'New York'"

"Either way, I live there and not here. I'll always love you Harry... but we can't happen" I heard him draw in breath but he didn't say anything else. "I'm sorry" I muttered, feeling very very low.

"Don't be. Like you said... it's for the best. Maybe in different circumstances... but I lost my chance when I let you go and didn't come and find you" I looked up to see him shrugging his shoulders and running his fingers through Teddy's hair. The little boy lay placidly on his chest and I smiled. Harry was so good to him.

It made me think what I could have had.

"Hi Harry" Roe broke the silence when she walked into the room. "Rough night?"

"Could say the same for you... you feeling ok?" Harry raised an eyebrow. Roe nodded with a smile.

"I'm fine. Must have been something I ate" she shrugged. She peered between me and Harry. "You two have anything planned for tonight?" She asked.

I glared at her. "Dinner at home with mum and dad if you're coming to that... unless you want to stay home and have a quiet night in with Draco?" I finished pointedly. She sighed.

"Yeah I might just do that" She mumbled. "Your birthday's in a couple of days Harry... what are you doing for it?" She changed the topic and I was thankful. I didn't need her harping on at me in her not so subtle way after I just told Harry it couldn't happen. Talk about your awkward situations.

"Probably nothing... Dinner at the Burrow obviously, but other than that... nothing" He stifled a yawn.

"Well that's no fun" Roe muttered. Harry chuckled and shrugged.

"Come on Champ, we better leave Roe and Riley to whatever they were doing today" He patted Teddy's back.

"NO! I wanna stay with Eyeley!" Teddy sat up and frowned. Harry smiled and brushed his hair off his face.

"We can't mate" he yawned again. "The girls have things to do"

"No we don't" I said quickly. "He can stay with us if he wants... gives you a chance to get some sleep" I smiled. Teddy grinned at stared at his dad with pleading eyes.

"Pleasssee Daddy..."

"Yeah Please?" I pouted and have him my best puppy dog look. Harry yawned again and nodded.

"Alright fine... don't be a nuisance though" Harry gave in. Teddy gave a shout and jumped off his lap.

"He'll be fine" I promised.

"Thanks for looking after him... I'd call Sarah but I think she's a bit pissed off at me" He pulled a guilty face.

"You think?" Roe snorted. "She was way more than pissed"

"We'll drop him home later tonight ok?" I smiled at Harry as he stood.

"Thanks Riley. You're the best" He ruffled my hair as he passed and I felt a sense of emptiness... kind of like I'd lost something that I might never get back.

Roe walked him out and was back two seconds later.

"What the hell did you say to him!" She exclaimed.

"I said it was better that nothing happened" I shrugged. "End of story" I reminded her.

She rolled her eyes. "You're impossible... and I thought I was the stubborn one" She threw her hands up in the air and slumped on the couch again. We were silent for a few minutes, each with our own thoughts.

I sat up a moment later and clapped my hands.

"We need to plan a surprise party for Harry. It can be a kind of 'Happy Birthday Harry, Goodbye Riley' kind of shin dig" I smiled.

"But a surprise for Harry?" Roe asked with a raised eyebrow.

"A total surprise" I nodded.

Plea's Note:

Oh dear Riley. What are you doing? Honestly, don't you just want to shake her and throw the ring away (andkillnatewithahacksaw)? Anyways, until next chapter m'dears.

Xo Plea

BTW I HAVE AIM: Pleaofinsanityhp or search the name 'Pleaof Insanity' (two words) and you'll be able to chat with me :D

Xo Plea