Grey's Finale. Oh. My. Jesus. Christ. *copies and pastes ep-review i sent iam-kelly with some minor edits*

i wont spoil anthing but it really is ONE OF THE GREATS. better then bomb/drowning put together (but that might be because i watched those years after they aired, not hours)

in the 8 min sneak peak! i loved _______'s reaction to ______'s news and OMG when ______ was shot i laughed, PWNED. lol.

it was really amazing. only three things were edging on typical/i guessed them.

one i had assumed after the first 30sec promo
one i gathered after seeing the sneak peak
one i might have missed if i wasn't freaking glued to the screen.

and as an easy crier saying i almost cried may not mean anything (but i must be getting stronger since last year. i cried like a baby with the izzie/george death even though i knew well before watching they would 'die'/die. but also knowing of _____'s death a few hours before watching the Private Practice final -so i read spoilers. kill me... anyways i didn't cry at the PP final) and well, there was one seen that made me almost cry.

and OMG the guy (the shooter), i hate him. but not because of the deaths. lol. because of the scene that broke my heart (which wasn't the one i almosst cried in oddly enough).

*drowns in happiness*

ONE OF THE ALL TIME F***ING GREATS

and on with the update.......

Chapter 17 – Tell Me Why

six weeks after the accident

Meredith sat cross legged in the middle of her and Addison's bed dressed in just panties and her Dartmouth shirt. In her hands were two rings. Engagement rings. She'd just found them not five minutes ago.

She wasn't stupid. She knew Addie wasn't lying when she'd told her about the rings, but this made them, made the whole thing, real.

Addison really wanted to get married.

And so did she, but lately… Their relationship was in a downwards spiral. Addison didn't look Meredith in the eye, didn't kiss her randomly mid-sentence, didn't whisper in her ear or follow her into the shower. Addison was being distant. Was withdrawing. They hadn't had sex in six weeks, the last time being before the accident.

Last night Meredith had tried to start something, she'd straddled Addison and kissed her deeply, placing Addie's hands over her body then slipping her own up Addie's shirt. But Addison had broken away and said, "Not tonight Mere." Before she rolled over and fell into sleep.

Meredith had given up then; she gotten up and walked into Izzie's room as Iz was at the hospital on call that night.

What Meredith didn't know was that Addison couldn't sleep. For weeks after the accident Addison lived on half hour cat naps and coffee and every time she looked at Meredith she saw her lying still, blue and dead.

Addison still had nightmares when she did manage to sleep, and she often woke weeping silently and shaking. She wouldn't sleep after one of her nightmares and instead she'd lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, listening to Meredith's steady snores.

Meredith didn't know any of that. She stared down at the rings. Maybe Addison had changed her mind? Maybe she didn't want to get married after all. Maybe she didn't want to be with her at all.

The rings were simple and beautiful, gold bands, cushion cut diamonds, perfect, they weren't identical but they matched. Hesitantly Meredith slipped one onto her left ring finger. She looked down at her hand and watched the diamond sparkle. She was filled with such happiness, something so deep, she knew this had to be, that she had to marry Addison, that if the topic were to be raised again she would say yes in a heartbeat but…

Addison didn't look at her anymore. Didn't kiss her, or smile at her, make love to her. The only thing Addison would do was hold her hand, or maybe, sometimes, spoon her in bed.

Meredith ripped the ring from her finger and angrily threw it, both of them; they hit her mirror and cracked it slightly before falling to the floor and rolling away. She started to cry.

"Hey Mere baby, have you seen your Dartmouth shirt?" Addison asked, walking into the room, she looked up to see Meredith crying, "Oh my God, Mere what's wrong?" She stepped forward and gasped in pain, lifting her foot to see one of the rings; she picked it up, and climbed onto the bed pulling Meredith into her arms,

"I- I- I don't-" Meredith cried into Addison's neck, "I don't want to die alone."

"Oh Meredith," Addison sighed, "Shh, baby I'm here."

"No, you don't- you're not-" Meredith sobbed and struggled to speak through her tears, "You don't love me."

Addison felt tears in her own eyes now and she held Meredith closer to her, "Meredith I love you. I love you more then anything in the world. You're my Meredith. The love of my life. That's not going to change Mere, I promise it won't change."

Meredith pulled back and she swallowed back her tears, "You hurting me." Addison frowned, "You don't even look at me."

"Mere…"

Meredith pressed her lips to Addison's, eliciting a small moan from the redhead, Mere's hands held Addie's neck and cheek as they kissed tenderly, Addison hands raised and moved to Mere's shoulders, pushing her back.

"Meredith."

"No," cried Meredith softly, "Addie, please."

Addison smoothed back Meredith's hair, "Mere, you died. You died and I couldn't save you. And every time I see you I just… I'm scared Meredith. I'm scared of everything. To move, to breathe, to touch you, I'm scared. I won't survive loosing you. I can't loose you Meredith, I can't- I just I." She broke off in tears, "I love you Meredith, and you died, you died."

Meredith looked into Addison's tear filled eyes, "I'm sorry,"

Addison nodded, "I'm sorry too."

Meredith lent forward and kissed Addison this time Addison let her. They fell back into the bed and Addison rolled them so she was on top, she pulled up Meredith's Dartmouth shirt and flung it into a corner of the room.

"I love you Mere." She whispered, kissing her again,

Meredith pulled at Addison's clothes and soon the two of them were naked, "I love you too Addison," Addison smiled and she opened her mouth to speak but instead moaned deeply, as Meredith's fingers slipped inside of her,

"Oh God."

Meredith smiled and pecked Addison's lips, "Let's get married baby, let's wear those rings and plan a wedding."

Addison grinned, "Quite the proposal,"

"Is that a yes?" Asked Meredith, pulling back barely a millimetre from Addison's neck,

"Yes."

Meredith laughed into Addie's neck and kissed her again, "I love you."

"Show me," whispered Addison,

Meredith grinned broadly, "My pleasure." She said before moving down Addison's body and dipping her head between her legs causing Addison to scream out in pleasure.

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