Chapter Three

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost

When he awoke, he found a note that said that Atirupa had gone to bring back some food, so after checking on Cas, who was alive and still sound asleep, he went to take a shower.

When he looked at himself in the mirror, he had only three words, "Son of BITCH!" His entire chest, upper arms, back, legs, feet, and neck were covered in complicated, ancient tattoo designs. "I look like a freak! How the hell am I going to pretend to be FBI or some other cop with all this shit all over me." He was relieved to find that his possession tattoo hadn't been removed or altered, but that was the only relief he felt as he walked into the shower muttering curses.

When he came out, he had managed to cover most of the tattoos with long sleeves and excreta, but some of them still managed to slightly peek out above his collar. Still grumbling curses he walked over to check on Cas, and couldn't help the relief that flooded him seeing Cas okay; suddenly it was all worth it. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, absorbing the peace of his well and alive angel, when Cas moaned and shifted, opening his eyes.

"Whoa… Easy there Cas. You're safe. I'm here."

"Dean?" he rasped then began coughing.

"Hold on. Let me get you some water." He dug up a bottled water, and lifted Cas's head off the pillow, holding the water for him to drink.

After he had drunk almost all of the water, he looked up with blurry eyes at Dean, "What happened? How am I still alive? I thought for sure that I was going to die."

"You were dying." Dean admitted quite unhappily. "Then, well, you aren't going to believe this, but this woman just barrages in here, and tells me she can save you. The short of it is that she does this mumbo-jumbo on you, and heals you."

Cas raised his eyebrows skeptically, "How?"

"She… She… Oh, damn! She said she bound us together or some shit like that. Apparently if you die, so do I and vise versa."

"How in the world did she do that?"

"I don't know! She said that she was a Fray, and that you would know what that meant."

Cas's eyes widen in surprise. "A Fray was sent to you? And she saved me? Did you ask her to save me?"

Dean looked away, guilt making him rub the back of his neck nervously, "I don't remember saying those exact words."

"Dean." Cas's voice was ominous. "Do you have any idea what you have done?"

"Yeah, she explained the whole thing to me. I'm sorry Cas. I just couldn't think of another way to save you, and I couldn't loose you either."

"Dean. I believe your words would be that I'm your bitch now."

"It's not like that Cas. I won't take advantage of you. I just had to save you. Please understand." Dean looked into Cas's eyes wordlessly pleading for Cas to forgive him.

Cas sighed and looked away, "I understand. I trust you, and I know that this was not done without some sacrifice on your part, so I thank you." He tried to sit up, and found that he could barely move. "What…?"

"I haven't opened the connection all the way yet. I thought it would be a good idea to wait until you were both awake." Atirupa's voice floated in from behind them. They hadn't even heard her come in, and the sudden sound had Dean spinning around with his gun drawn.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Honestly, when are you going to stop freaking out over every little thing?"

"You didn't make any noise." Dean growled, vastly displeased with being sunk up on again. "And what do you mean about 'opening the connection all the way'? Why the hell is he so weak?"

"I haven't fully opened the connection because it can take quite a toll on the human mind, and I wanted to be here to help you through it. He's weak because there is only a small amount of energy passing between you two, and he needs more. You're fine, though, because of the safety measures I set up for you." Atirupa smiled smugly in a way that just managed to piss Dean off all the more as if that was her point in the smile.

"Safety measures? What safety measures?" He growled, disliking the unearthly woman more and more.

"The safety measures give you energy from another source, so that you are still able to function despite the link to your angel. After all, he isn't my concern. The only two people that I have to protect are you and your brother."

"Bitch." He snarled.

She smiled with a mixture of smugness and cunning, "Why thank you. Such complements. I'm flattered. Now, if you're done, I will fully open the connection if you would like me too, that is."

"Yes." He growled, glancing back at Cas. "Just do it."

"Very well, but you should know that once I do nothing of the angel's will be hidden from you. You will be able to see his angelic form without harm, you will have access to his thoughts, and control of his body. All of this can be quite overwhelming, and I will have to teach to block out his thoughts, and how to keep from taking control of his body without realizing it." Her face had gone blank as she talked like she had pulled a marble mask down over her emotions.

"What do you mean? You mean that I might accidently control Cas?" He looked at the marble mask disbelievingly.

"Yes, aren't you a smart boy." The snide comment was freaky with her bland voice and stone face.

"It's alright, Dean. It's not like we have much of choice here. I need to be able to move, after all. I'm more worried what this will do to your mind." Cas's blue eyes gazed worriedly up at him.

"He will be fine. I would not have done this otherwise. He and his brother are my only priority."

"Nice to know you have those straight." Dean snapped sarcastically, which only earned an emotionless nod from her. It was freaky how she could turn her emotions on and off like an actor switching from one role to the next in the space of breath, or as she had more than one personality. Now, there was a cheery thought. A woman as powerful and seemingly as dangerous as her, insane. "Let's just get this done, and don't worry Cas. I'll be fine."

"Very well. Open your shirt, human. I need to touch the markings I left on you for this to work."

"Yeah, thanks for those." He growled sarcastically as he unbuttoned his shirt. He heard Cas gasp in surprise upon seeing his tattoos. "And do you have to keep calling me 'human'? I have a name you know."

She reached out and placed her right hand on his chest, lining her fingers up with certain markings, "Yes, I know you do, human." She smiled in that predatory way again. "Take a deep breath, and here we go." Her fingers suddenly dug into him as if she were trying to claw her way through him. Dean felt as though his insides had been turned to fire, and he opened his mouth to scream in vain, for he couldn't gather the air he need to cry out. Pain became etched in every line of his being, and somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear a voice calling out his name in panic and fear. A moment later he was on the floor gasping desperately and feeling like he had just swum several miles through a sea of flame.

When his sense came back to him, he realized that he was very worried and anxious, but couldn't place why. After all, it seemed the worse was over, but the oddest thing was that he could hear his name being said over and over again in his head. Pushing these oddities to the back of his mind to be dealt with later, he glanced up to see if Cas was okay, and if he, Dean, was in another dimension because it certainly felt that way from the way his head was spinning, but the moment he looked up he was nearly blinded by a vast amount of light. It had him blinking rapidly and falling back over as he had been attempting to get up.

Dean cried out in surprise, "What in God's name!"

"Dean!" He heard Cas exclaim with relief. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, freaking fine." He muttered.

"But that's exactly right, or more like God's creation." She laughed like some kind of predator that pretended to be enjoying her own joke and needing no one else to be amused. "You're seeing his true essence. If you would like to only see his human form, try focusing your thoughts on the Cas that you once knew. I doubt it will work that well, what with you being a human, but it's better than nothing as I'm pretty sure sunglasses won't be helping." There was that damn laugh again. God, were her jokes bad and made all the creepier by her laugh. "But seriously speaking, the harder you concentrate the more he will look like a man and less like an overcharged lighthouse."

Dean found her description vastly inadequate, for Cas's form took his breath away. He was sure that he was going to be seeing spots for at least a week. Cas was nothing more than beautiful and wondrous to the point of there being no words to describe him, but he was blinding too. Surely, so much glory was never meant to be seen by a mere mortal.

Dean closed his eyes and tried to think of Cas as he had looked only minutes before, but he found that was difficult to concentrate with blinding gold beating on his covered eyes. He didn't know how long it was before he felt ready to open his eyes, but when he did, the light had faded.

"How does he look now?" asked Atirupa blandly.

Dean paused and rose to look at his angel, for that's what Cas was now and perhaps that was what he had always been. Dean ignored Atirupa and fixed his gaze on Cas, "I can see the human form of you, but there is a light that surrounds you like an aura almost but more. You look like heaven…"

Cas turned his head away, "Don't say that. I'm far from that now."

Dean placed a hand on his cheek, and turned his head to force Cas to look at him, "Nothing so stunning could be anything less."

"I'm not of Heaven, Dean! I rebelled, remember? I'm no different than the one you call the devil." There were tears brimming in his eyes.

Dean frowned, "You don't believe that. You are different, and you know it. He rebelled for himself, and thought only of himself. You rebelled for others, and thought only of others. That makes all the difference." Dean smiled, "Plus, you had a great many doubts about what you did. Remember how hard I had to work to convince you there was something hanky going on? But you believed that in the end you were doing the right thing. Do you think Lucifer ever doubted? Do you think that he cared about what would happen to anyone else?" Dean wiped the angel's tears away with the hand that had held its face, "How could you say that you are the same? You are good, Cas. Never doubt that."

Cas looked up into Dean's eyes with a tear streaked face, "But I am falling… Dean, I'm scared."

Dean felt as though Cas had stabbed him. He knew, without any doubt, that Cas's condition was his fault. He could feel the angel's fear in himself, through their "bond" no doubt, and he knew that the angel didn't blame him, but that didn't stop him from blaming himself. He knew that he could never repay the angel, but he had already sworn to himself that he would do anything for Cas and damned be the consequences. "Don't worry, Cas. No matter what happens. I swear I will stay by you. I will protect you, and I will do everything I can for you. Even if you fall, I will be here to catch you." He looked into Cas's sky colored eyes, which were still raining bitter sweat tears, with his own hard green ones, and tried to make the angel understand the depth of that promise.

Cas opened his mouth to say something, but Atirupa interrupted, "Please stop right there. This is getting way too sentimental for me. I beg you stop." Dean flinched, having forgotten she was there and turned towards her while doing his best to hid his irritation. "Perhaps we can move on to more important subjects. Like where the hell is your brother?"

Dean blinked, "Sam?"

She rolled her eyes, at the end of her rope, "For the love of… You forgot all about him, didn't you?"

"Well, I was little preoccupied trying to keep Cas from dying." Dean growled.

"Well your angel is saved, so out with it."

"We split up. We were trying to find Cas, and we had more than one lead. I'll call him and tell him where we are." As he moved to get his cell phone off his bed, he heard Cas struggling to get up. "Take it slow, Cas." He said without turning around.

He pressed speed dial and waited, "Hello?" There was a slight pause as Sam tried to asses who was calling him, "Dean? That you?"

"Yeah, man it's me. I found Cas. Come and meet us."

"Is he alright?"

"He is now. I'll tell you the whole story when you get here." Dean rattled off some coordinates.

"Alright, it's not too far. I should be there in about a day or so. Just hang tight. Bye bro'."

"See ya." Dean hung up and throw the phone back on the bed. "Happy now?" he asked Atirupa.

She scuffed, "Not really, but it well do." She threw a bag of Chinese takeout at him, "Eat. I'm going out."

"Where?" he asked in spite of himself.

"Anywhere but here. I need a break from you, human." She said as she walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Yeah, well same here, bitch." He muttered.

TBC

Well? How do you like it so far? Should I keep going? Any suggestions?

I know it ends kind of abruptly, but my muse decided to go on vacation. I'll write more when she gets back. :P :)