A Hidden Past

Chapter 6 – Better In Time

I turned into the final corner of the track, going well over one hundred and fifty miles and hour. The tyres of my car stuck to the tarmac as I caught up the car in first place. We came out of the corner together. I tried to hold the car to the inside of the track, but I was forced to run wide. I held it back and cut between two cars. I sped up again and caught up with the leaders going into the next corner. I kept to the outside of the track and floored the accelerator. I just managed to inch ahead coming out of the turn and held it for the rest of the lap.

"You're doing great, Doc." My crew chief's voice crackled over the radio.

I didn't reply. Instead I took my anger out on the track. We were only half way through the race, which left plenty of time for mistakes. Some drivers had already made theirs. Mine came on the next lap. I turned into the second corner as another car appeared beside me. I quickly adjusted my steering as he drifted closer to me. I adjusted it too much. My front wheel hit the edge of the track. I held it together for as long as I could, but it was no use. In seconds the car was flipping onto the grass on the inside of the track.

"Doc!" My crew chief shouted in my ear. "Come on, Doc, answer me!"

"Doc…Doc."

I jerked away. Jason was hovering over me. I closed my eyes and pulled the covers up to my chin. Ever since my mother's death, I had stayed in bed late in to the morning. I could see Jason was getting worried. I wondered if that was why he was there.

"I think we need to talk." He said, perching on the side of my bed.

"There's nothing to talk about." I rolled onto my side.

"Doc, you've been hiding in this room for the last two weeks. The only time we see you is when you go to the café. You order a drink to take out and disappear until the next day when you do the same thing. I think you need to talk about it."

"I'd rather not." I mumbled into my pillow.

"I know talking about it will help. Come by my office later. I can spare a few hours."

I didn't even look around as he left.

I couldn't see Jason in the café when I got there a few hours later. I took a quick look around before I went to the bar to order my usual coffee. For once I decided to get something to eat too. I hadn't been eating well since that day.

"Afternoon, Doc." Flo greeted me pleasantly. "The usual?"

"Sure. I'll take a sandwich too. Ham salad, hold the mayonnaise."

She looked surprised, but filled my order without question. I gave her the money and made to return to my room. As I was on my way out, Jason was on his way in.

"Come and see me when you're done." He said quietly.

I glanced at him and carried on my way.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A voice on the other side called 'come in'. I turned the handle and opened the door nervously. I knew he expected me to talk to him, but what were we going to talk about? He knew how I felt about racing now, and I wasn't willing to talk about recent events.

"Hello, Doc. I wasn't sure you heard me earlier."

I grunted and sat in the chair facing the desk. The last time I had sat there, Jason had given me some bad news.

"Nothing bad this time." He seemed to read my mind. "Just a friendly chat."

"About what?"

"Whatever you want."

I grunted again, slouched in the chair and said precisely nothing.

"I know you cared about her, Doc. I saw you watching us that first time she tried to talk to you."

I turned away. This was still a sensitive area for me.

"Doc, you've got to talk about it."

"No, I haven't." My voice echoed around the room. "I haven't got to talk about anything."

I crossed the room in three steps, wrenched the door open and stormed away. I went straight to my car and just like the night I had driven up to the top of the cliff, I drove off without bothering to adjust the mirrors, the seat or anything else in the car. I didn't even bother with my seat belt. I didn't go to the cliff this time, but to the track. I knew what sort of injuries a car crash could give. I sped down the track and flew along the straight. A large, very steep hill acted as a barrier at the first corner. I didn't bother to turn into the corner as I gave it some more gas. Almost the moment the car touched the side of the hill I was thrown into unconsciousness.

"Bloody hell, Doc. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

The voice was distant, but I was sure I wasn't imagining it. This amount of pain didn't come with imagining things.

"Careful how you move it, Mater."

I was lying on my back. The surface beneath my hands felt loose. I groaned quietly.

"I swear, Doc, you're nuts."

"No." I managed to whisper. "I'm not."

"I've never known anyone drive straight at a nearly vertical wall of rock like that before."

"I don't – "

"We've been through this before, Doc. You've got plenty left to live for." Jason said harshly. "You're just too bloody blind to see it."

"I loved her…I never told her." I opened my eyes to the blue sky. The pain was making me nauseous.

"She knew." His voice softened considerably. "She knew more than you think."

He pressed something to my head and held it there while he wound something else around it. I lay still while he did a lot of first air to me.

"Mater, I'm going need a hand."

"Watcha need me ter do?"

"I need to get him back to the surgery. Do you have anything that can act like a stretcher?"

"I got a plank o' wood."

"It'll do."

I felt myself slipping back into the unconscious state. My vision went fuzzy as I closed my eyes.

I woke some time later with a groan and a harsh cough that made everything hurt again.

"You're bloody crazy."

"You told me." I gasped. "Just give me some flaming pain killers already."

I rolled onto my side as another coughing fit took my breath away. Jason put something over my face while darkness threatened to take me again. It took me a few minutes to regain control of my breathing.

"You could have killed yourself back there."

"That was the intention." I replied, discovering the thing on my face was an oxygen mask. "You wouldn't understand."

"I might not, but I'm sure Sheriff does. He wouldn't come anywhere near the crash site. I've not seen him since, and that was two days ago."

I groaned again and fell onto my back with a wince. "What's the damage?"

"Broken ribs, severe concussion, broken leg and lots of bruising. You're lucky it's not worse."

The broken ribs explained the hideous pain in my chest when I coughed.

"How's the car?"

"Wrecked. Mater's taking care of it. He seemed to think you would want to repair it yourself."

"Good morning, Doc."

I looked around. Flo had appeared with breakfast for me and Jason. It seemed to have become routine in the few weeks that I had been confined to the hospital part of the surgery. I had been getting quite bored, so one time when Jason wasn't around and Flo was, I asked her to get me a book from the side. There were a number of bookcases around the walls. She picked one off at random and passed it to me, looking rather guilty about it. I now put the book to one side as she put my breakfast on the table at the side of my bed.

Being confined to the hospital had been one way to get me talking to Jason. It was the first thing I had tried to stop myself getting so bored. So far I'd told him a lot about my family, and a lot about my mother. I had discovered that it lessened the emotional pain considerably, though it still hurt a lot.

"Hello, Flo." Jason appeared from a side room. "Ah, breakfast, excellent."

He took his breakfast from her and perched on the bed beside mine as she headed back to the café. He spotted the book on the corner of the table.

"So that's where it went."

"Uh…"

"Don't worry. Flo told me where it was after you asked her to get a book for you to read. I'd be surprised if you can understand it."

I opened the brown paper bag and examined what Flo had brought for me. "I trained as a doctor at college. I never started practicing though, not once I discovered racing."

"How well did you do at college?"

"Okay, I guess. I wasn't one of the top students, but I passed everything with decent marks. Why?"

"I'll be leaving here soon. My retirement is coming up, and I've had an offer from a friend in the city to go and work for him. They're going to need a new doctor here before I go. If you want, I'll get you used to practicing for a couple of months by my side before I go to the city for the rest of my working life. I might return here after that, though nothing is certain."

"I won't be well enough for a while yet. How can I possible practice by your side when I can hardly leave my bed?"

"I can test you on what you know. There are plenty of books here. Then when you're well enough, we'll practice together for a while. What do you say?"

I thought it over. My father had done everything he could to make sure I would be able to go through college. I continued on that path when he died. My mother too had wanted me to go to college. She had told me she was at my graduation, though I never saw her there. Thinking of my parents made my heart ache. I knew there was no way I would be able to return to racing, even if there was a team out there that would take me. After too bad crashes, I wasn't fit enough. Maybe following the career path I had started on before racing was the answer. I looked at the cover of the thick book with new determination. There were people that still cared, people that were willing to help me. The least I could do was return their help.

"I'll do it."

Song Artist: Leona Lewis