This may well be the last chapter of this story. I could also be lying. You should read and find out.

WakingWorldDreamWorld, I'm Mormon preparing for a mission, so I don't smoke anything. I'm also not drunk or using anything illegal, so this is all natural madness.

Heraklinos, I read Monster a few weeks ago. Right now I'm reading the Pokémon Special manga. It's given me a fair few ideas.

Naru-chan, that's why I didn't put him in.

-}+{-

C.C. woke up to find his hand fondling her breast. "Stop it!" she laughed, playfully batting his hand away. "First thing in the morning and you're already at it?"

"I was just thinking, what would be the best way to start my day, and it just came to me." He told her with a smirk, his hand moving to C.C.'s rounded stomach. "Whoa!"

C.C. smiled. "You feel that to?" she asked.

"Yeah…" Lelouch told her with a smile. "I'm really gonna be a father…" he managed, almost in disbelief.

C.C. smiled mischievously. "What makes you so sure it's yours, boy?"

Lelouch vaulted over the bed. "Don't even go there, witch." He told her, flaring up his Geass.

"You know that doesn't work on me." C.C. told him.

"You sure?" Lelouch asked. "Because I'm pretty sure it would if I commanded you to kiss me."

C.C. giggled. "Nope." She replied. "Nothing."

"Whoops." Lelouch said with a grin. "Silly thing's in reverse." He explained, moving in to kiss his wife.

Eventually, C.C. kicked Lelouch out of the bed and he went to the bathroom.

He inadvertently spent slightly too long admiring the simulacrum of a beard he'd achieved from three days of no shaving. He only stopped when he noticed C.C. peering around the doorframe, and snickering behind his back.

He scowled as she slunk off, and he turned back to the mirror and held a hand out towards the shower rack as his shaver flew from the other side of the bathroom into his hand.

He glanced at it, stroked his three-day stubble, but decided to incinerate the shaver in a ball of black flames.

Dressed in a dark suit, red shirt and black tie, Lelouch donned his black sunglasses as he left the house, lighting up a cigarette as he did so. He took a single drag from it before flicking it into the road as he vaulted into his convertible. "Time to hit the road." He muttered, revving the engine to life.

"Pika!"

Lelouch looked down at the pikachu riding shotgun. "Guess you're my partner from now on, huh?" he smirked, before driving out into the street.

"LLLEEEELLLOOOUUCHHEE!"

Lelouch sighed as he stepped into the police department building. Da Chief was pissed at something he's done again.

Leaving the pikachu behind, he took a mug of coffee from some intern as he walked through the desks towards the room full of hate that was waiting for him. He then spat the drink onto the floor. "What is this shit?" Lelouch shouted back at the intern. "If I'm gonna steal your coffee the least you can do is make it right!"

"LLLEEEELLLOOOUUCHHEE!"

"Coming!" Lelouch groaned, lighting up again as he trudged to Da Chief's office.

C.C. lay on the couch with a satisfied smile, stroking her belly.

"But… why Lelouch…?" she asked. "And why am I…"

She shook her head. "Let's just enjoy it." She muttered to a pokémon that wasn't there.

Chief Milly Ashford was Da Chief of the Zero City Police Department. A Father To Her Men, she maintained order with an iron first and a magnificent handlebar moustache, even if she refused to admit that it was fake.

There were only two men on the entire force who would dare disrespect her authority, and one of them was in hospital.

The other was his partner, and was smoking in front of Da Chief.

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN BREAK FIVE LIMBS LULU?" Milly shouted. "HOW? PEOPLE ONLY HAVE FOUR!"

Lelouch lifted his smoke from his teeth. "Red was interrogating a suspect when her partner came in."

Milly facepalmed. "He didn't…"

"The doctor said his neck will recover fine if he stops nailing the nurses." Lelouch shrugged, returning his smoke to its rightful place in life.

Da Chief sighed. "It's a good job I set you up with a new partner then."

"Partner?" Lelouch spat the cigarette onto the patch of scorched carpet where he usually stood. "I work alone. Except when I work for Red. Which is all the time."

"He's a loose cannon Lulu, and so are you." Chief Milly explained. "The Difference is, however, that Red is good for publicity whereas you solve cases. That's why you're on the Zero case."

"I've been on the Zero case since he killed my half-brother Clovis five years ago." Lelouch corrected. "That's why I joined the force."

"Perhaps your new partner can make sure you stay on the force." Da Chief warned as there was a knock on the door. "Come in."

A brown-haired man in gold tinted sunglasses and a broad moustache walked into the room in a white suit, black shirt and yellow tie walked into Da Chief's office. "Suzaku Kururugi from the Kanto branch." He saluted, removing his sunglasses. "Reporting for duty sir!"

"At ease." Milly smirked. "Lulu, meet your new partner."

"Hey, Kallen!"

The red-head cringed as her partner approached her loudly from behind. "Dammit Rivalz!" she hissed. "Keep it down!"

"Why?" he asked, before shrugging. "Anyway, about last night-"

She slammed his head on the desk, holding his nose an inch from the table for a second blow as she leaned into his ear. "Don't. Say. Anything. About. Last. Night."

"I was talking about the farfetch'd smuggler we were chasing?"

"Ah!" Kallen gasped, letting Rivalz go. "Sorry, you're right…"

"Those two are sleeping together, aren't they?" Suzaku asked Lelouch as they walked past.

"Not that she'll ever admit it." Lelouch replied. "I see you got that badge for a reason."

"Highest correct arrest percentage three years running." Suzaku told him.

"My partner has the highest arrest record five years running." Lelouch snapped.

"He also has the lowest correct arrest percentage in history." Suzaku snapped back. "And the record for the most buildings destroyed, squad cars totalled, complaints of inappropriate conduct and fraternisation."

Lelouch laughed. "Yep, that's Red alright." He said, before stopping dead at the door. "People complained?"

"Usually the husbands and fathers."

"Ah." Lelouch nodded, stepping outside and lighting up again. "That sounds about right. So, what do you know about the Zero case, Suzan?"

"Other than what you put in the files?" Suzaku asked. "That he's involved with Silver Laguada."

Lelouch looked at him. "The same who took over Team Rocket after his father's death?" he asked, hopping into his car.

"The same." Suzaku nodded, walking around the vehicle to use the passenger door. "And why is it that you allow mobsters to run wild in this city?"

Lelouch sighed as he turned the key in the ignition. "There are two sides of law enforcement, the surface and the underworld." Lelouch explained, driving away from the station. "Despite what my record suggests, we the police are bound by the law. The mafia is also bound by law, just a different, harsher one. Some things in our system are illegal to them, and some things in their system are illegal to us. We share the same land, but both Da Chief and their Boss want to minimise conflict between these two sides."

"We both have our own 'Justice', and we allow people to choose which one they follow." Lelouch continued. "And it usually works. The two worlds, light and darkness, don't grind against each other, everyone gets paid, we're all happy. Zero, however, is a third faction to this whole business."

"His name suggests that he thinks he represents the city." Suzaku suggested.

"That's the whole damned problem." Lelouch snarled. "The police are Light, the Rocket's are Dark, and he thinks he's representing the people by flipping off both sides of the coin and playing spin-the-bottle. The citizen's think he's great, but they also think that about Red, and look at him."

Suzaku raised an eyebrow. "I thought you respected your brother."

"And I damned well do." Lelouch replied, tossing the cigarette butt into the street. "I also accept that he's completely off his head, and plays by his own rules. If it wasn't for the fact that he lives for the badge, then we'd have taken him out long ago."

"Assassinations?" Suzaku asked in shock. "I thought we were the Light?"

"Light isn't necessarily Good." Lelouch explained, turning onto 22nd street. "This city works because it ticks on a knife edge- everyone who knows what's going on pitches in to stop the whole thing going to hell, but you get some idiots who think they know better and declare something stupid like cracking down on organised crime."

"I doubt Zero's one of these." Suzaku told his new partner.

"That's the worst bit- the bastard knows exactly what he's doing." Lelouch snarled. "He doesn't give a damn about anyone else- so long as there is chaos. That's why we need to stop him."

Suzaku nodded morosely. "You know, for a comparative utopia, this city is surprisingly dark." He commented.

"It's also very Light." Lelouch smirked. "Weren't you listening to a word I just said?"

C.C. opened the French doors and walked out onto the balcony, leaning on the fence overlooking the ocean.

Lugia burst from the water with a happy cry. "You're still the same." She said, stroking the beast's beak-like face with a smile. "You never change."

"Gia."

Lelouch kicked the door down, stepping into the building with two guns aimed at several heads. "POLICE!" he shouted as Suzaku entered the room, his one gun aimed professionally at the floor. "HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM!"

"You do this every time." One grunt sighed, dropping his card game and walking over to the door to replace the hinges. "Who's the fresh meat?" he asked, polling out an electric screwdriver to repair the door.

Suzaku looked at the three machoke who acted as the grunts opponents. "I'm his partner-"

"Temping." Lelouch interrupted. "Where's Silver?"

"Out back." The grunt shrugged. "He's been expecting you."

"He's always expecting me." Lelouch sighed. "Just once I'd like to surprise him."

"Try knocking." Suzaku suggested. "He'd never see it coming."

Lelouch glared, then moved to the door and opened it.

He saw Silver leaning on his desk.

Pointing a gun at him.

BLAM

Lugia descended back into the water as the doorbell rang. Tilting her head, she turned around and walked through the house to the front door.

"Hii~!" Marianne Vi Britannia sang, waving with her husband, Charles Zi Britannia standing behind her, carrying a bag of meat on his broad shoulders. "How's my beautiful daughter-in-law?" she asked.

C.C. stood there in shock for a few moments, before recovering. "Er… fine, come on in…"

Lelouch leant to the side, the bullet grazing his cheek. "Now would you look at that?" Lelouch asked, the wound healing before Silver's eyes. "I was proud of that beard."

"Anyone other than you wouldn't be able to dodge that." Silver smirked, putting down the smoking gun. "So, I presume that you are here concerning Zero?" he asked.

"What's your connection with him?" Lelouch asked.

Silver smirked. "I think you're asking the wrong questions." He replied.

"I think you're being a bigger prick than usual."

"I'm thinking that I might tell you his true identity if you get on your knees and beg."

That stopped Lelouch dead. "Impossible." He snarled. "No way would he take his mask off."

Silver smirked. "I assure you that I'm telling you the truth."

"We have ways of making you talk." Suzaku said, looking at Lelouch. "Right, Lelouch?"

Lelouch snarled, but settled for pulling out another cigarette. 'I've Geassed Silver before, and I don't want newbie to know about it.' He thought angrily. 'Knowing my luck I've probably Geassed him too.'

Suzaku decided to lead the interrogation. "Tell us what we know, or we'll come back here with a warrant for your arrest."

Silver bust up laughing. "Yeah, like you'd ever get THAT!"

"Silver runs half this city." Lelouch replied. "The Governor runs the other half."

"Well, that's fine." Suzaku nodded. "I happen to be dating the Governors daughter, so I'm sure-"

"This guy and his brother both asked him, they got nothing." Silver laughed.

"Eh?" Suzaku asked, before using those detective skills of his. "Wait, you're the Governor's son?"

"Me and Red." Lelouch explained. "We use our mom's name for work though."

"Er…" Suzaku managed. "Wow."

Click

"Ah, so this is the famed Blue?" Lelouch asked, turning around to face her as an entei tackled him from the front. "Should've seen that coming."

"I'll tell you this, gentlemen." Silver said as entei kept Lelouch pinned down. "Zero is someone from your past, Lelouch Vi Britannia."

_\_ "Detective Lamperouge, Detective Kururugi!" _\_ Dawn's voice called over the radio. _\_ "Respond!" _\_

"This is Detective Kururugi, what's happening?" Suzaku asked as Lelouch pushed himself out of Kerberos's grasp.

_\_ "A body's been found, you need to get here right away." _\_

"You can drive." Lelouch told his partner, tossing him the keys. "Damned mutt…" he added, growling at the entei as he nursed his shoulder.

The entei growled back.

"So, what do we have here?" Detective Lamperouge asked, hopping over the yellow tape and walking into the apartment building.

"I have no idea sir…" the police officer gasped. "In all my years on the force, I've never seen anything like this…"

Lelouch squatted amongst the biomass, turning on a Dictaphone and clipping it to his jacket. "The victim is a young woman in her twenties, white, orange hair." He reported, examining the body. "The body shows excessive vaginal trauma. The thighs have taken similar damage and her pelvis has been split apart at the front. This suggests a violent sexual attack, though the force of the damage suggests that something like a drill was used as a proxy for the attacker's penis."

Lelouch scowled, feeling inside the wound. "However, the damage within the abdomen is not consistent with that hypothesis, as the cavity created is erratic and random, suggesting work by hand or small pokémon, possibly a rattata or bellsprout—"

"HAVE YOU NO RESPECT?" Suzaku shouted.

"I'm investigating the scene of a crime, detective Kururugi." Lelouch told him, pausing his Dictaphone. "I suggest you do the same."

Suzaku sighed, calming himself as he walked into another room.

It was the victim's bedroom, and her diary was on display. "Shirley Fenette…" he whispered, looking around the room and stopping when he saw a shocking photograph, one of his partner and the victim posing for a school photograph.

"Lelouch… knew her?"

He peered back into the kitchen to see Lelouch examine the corpse with a silent fury. "Oh…" Suzaku realised, before returning to the bedroom.

The victim had been preparing to go out, either to a party or a date; that much was certain. A fresh dress and some lingerie were laid out on the bed, and several other clean dresses were tossed into the corner of the room, suggesting that she'd been deciding what to wear.

There was also a wrapped present on the bed, addressed to – Lulu~ X -

Half an hour later, Lelouch and Suzaku were outside the crime scene drinking a much needed coffee. "You okay?" Suzaku asked as the bodybag was moved into the ambulance.

Lelouch was silent for a moment. "Hey, Suzaku, you into pornography at all?"

"Eh?"

"Not necessarily, now, but when you were a teenager, you checked it out a few times, right?"

"Uh, well…" Suzaku blushed slightly. "I- how is this relevant?"

"What would you say the most… 'Out There' porn you ever enjoyed was?" Lelouch asked him.

"What's this about?" Suzaku asked.

"When I was fifteen, a friend of mine lent me a DVD." Lelouch told Suzaku. "Vines, Tentacles and Beauties." He recalled. "I'll never forget it. It was volume three, and there was a girl, a gorgeous blonde in a wetsuit who went scuba diving." Lelouch smiled bitterly. "And a wild tentacruel stripped her clothes off and raped her with its tentacles. It was clearly faked." Lelouch added, sipping from his drink. "She enjoyed and participated far too much to be non-consensual, and once you've spoken with a rape victim you know the difference."

"What're you getting at?" Suzaku asked.

"In the special features, there was a blooper where she squeezed a tentacle a little too hard and the pokémon let her know by giving her a Poison Sting." Lelouch explained. "She was fine, the tentacruel wasn't angry, it was just letting her know. It left a large gash in her inner thigh, which put production back a few days, which they used to record volume four, starring a different heroine and another pokémon, but examining that body reminded me of that wound."

"You think the killer was acting out a tentacle rape fantasy?" Suzaku asked.

"The wounds that reminded me of that DVD were inside her." Lelouch explained. "As if the tentacles were already inside her when they started attacking, which is worrying because pokémon in the tentacool family can't learn Minimize, and there were no signs of invasive surgery."

"I'm sure Nina will find something out in the Autopsy…" Suzaku sighed. "Look, Lelouch, I know that you knew the victim, but-"

"Huh?" Lelouch asked. "What're you talking about?"

Suzaku tilted his head. "You were school friends; your picture was in her room."

"I've never seen her before in my life." Lelouch told him.

Suzaku's brow furrowed. "But, she had a present for you in her room…"

"What makes you think it's for me?" Lelouch asked.

"It was addressed to Lulu…" Suzaku started as Lelouch sprinted into the building…

Just as the victim's apartment exploded.

Lelouch formed a psychic barrier around himself to block the falling rubble and glass as flames began to erupt from the apartment. "J-Jim…" an officer gasped. "He WAS IN THERE!"

"Jim Steinman?" Lelouch asked, loading his gun. "Damn, he was three days from retirement, wasn't he?"

Suzaku ran up to Lelouch, his own gun at the ready. "I doubt that there'll be anyone left in there to shoot." Suzaku warned.

"He called me Lulu." Lelouch snarled. "I let the chief do it because I owe her, but no-one else dares. Zero calls me Lulu to taunt me."

Red flames rose up around Suzaku as he focused his energy.

"You too?" Lelouch asked him.

"I don't understand it, but you can use pokémon attacks too it appears." Suzaku said, standing aside as people began fleeing the building. "Up the wall?"

"Can you use Rock Climb?" Lelouch asked, pocketing his gun.

"No." Suzaku answered. "I'll take the fire escape, meet you up there."

Lelouch coughed through the smoke as he climbed into the hole that was once Shirley's bedroom wall, but once he used Defog he could breathe and see clearly.

And he saw the armoured menace standing in the kitchen.

"The Black Prince is here and the White Reaper is coming." Zero taunted. "How fortunate."

"GET DOWN TO THE GROUND!" Lelouch shouted, aiming his gun carefully. 'Pokémon attacks don't work on that armour of his, so we get to do this the old-fashioned way.' "NOW!"

"Shirley Fenette's death was not my doing." Zero explained. "You know what the real killer is."

"I couldn't care less." Lelouch snarled. "I'm taking you in, now get down to the ground or I'll happily put a bullet through that damned mask of yours."

"Oh?" Zero taunted. "Very well." The armoured man put both hands behind his head. "Then I shall show you my true face."

Lelouch aimed his gun carefully; doing all he could not to waste the shot he'd get as Zero slowly removed his mask

To reveal a familiar young man with a double barrelled Geass.

"Remember me?" Zero asked, tugging the cloth covering his face. "I hope you do."

"N-no…" Lelouch gasped, lowering his gun as his Geass flared up in response to Zero's. "No, no YOU CAN'T BE!" he shouted, bringing his gun back to eye level.

The armoured terrorist with Lelouch's face as a teenager laughed. "Oh, now you know that isn't the case." He said with a smile. "After all, I am you."

BLAM

The bullet passed through Zero's face as he vanished. "Wh-wha..?" Lelouch gasped, falling to his knees, panting for breath. "Wh- what the hell..?"

"LELOUCH!"

The detective quickly shut off his Geass and looked up as Suzaku burst into the room. "Everything alright?" Suzaku asked.

"Y-yeah…" Lelouch lied. "It's fine, he wasn't here."

Suzaku raised an eyebrow. "I heard a gunshot…"

"I panicked." Lelouch sighed. "It happens."

Suzaku put an arm around his partner's shoulder. "Come on." He said. "Euphie said that your dad's pulling a barbeque at your house. You could use a few beers."

"Y-yeah…"

Schneizel and Charles manned the barbeques, both wearing matching 'Kiss the Cook' aprons.

Odysseus lounged by the pool with a wheelchair-bound Red as Cornelia, Marianne, Suzaku and C.C. set the table outside and sorted out the bread, salad, condiments and punch.

Euphie was in the pool, racing Nunnally in various swimming styles; so far the younger girl was thrashing her older sister.

Lelouch had been in the shower for half an hour, trying to make sense of the day.

'What… what the hell..?'

"You're bothered about what you saw at the crime scene." C.C. told him as she closed the bathroom door. "That's unusual for you."

Lelouch turned the handle, shutting the water off. "I'm going mad…" he whispered.

C.C. titled her head. "You mean you weren't already?"

"I'm serious." Lelouch told her. "Listen—"

SMASH

"Brother!" Nunnally shouted, rushing into the bathroom. "They've found another body- ah!"

"What're you talking about Nunnally?" Lelouch asked, wrapping a towel around himself as his sister averted her eyes.

"Um… well… a-a body like the one you investigated earlier has been found." Nunnally said. "They said this time it's a Japanese man from Team Rocket…"

'What?' Lelouch thought, his eyebrows furrowing. 'That reduces the likelihood of a sexual assault.'

"Tell Suzaku I'll be down once I'm dressed." Lelouch explained. "Did they give us the victim's name?"

"Um… it was Urabe… I think." Nunnally told him. "I'm sorry that you have to go…"

"It's fine." Lelouch said. "Uncle Cyrus is coming over later, so he'll play with you."

"But he's creepy!" Nunnally pouted.

Lelouch smiled, not noticing C.C.'s averted gaze.

Though, even if he did, his mind was elsewhere.

'What the hell is going on…?'

-}+{-

I'm sure that's what each and every one of you is thinking right now.

Also, this wasn't an epilogue, I was lying. I do that. Remember in Fairly English Story? The times I faked the story ending early just to screw with you? This was just a lame attempt to add to you confusion.

Now, I'm sure everyone is saying WTF? to this chapter, and that's good. You're meant to. This arc will be over by the end of the week and is very, very relevant to the plot, so bear with me.

Varanus: If nothing else, Milly's Chiefstache makes it all worthwhile.