You guys are amazing; I've almost had 10 reviews per chapter so far! I can't believe it. Here is the next chapter. No Ryan just yet, but I promise it's not too long now…
Oh and a little warning… this chapter is a tad melodramatic. :)
Chapter 4
"We'll find him Seth,"
Sandy's former self's words came floating back to him.
Haunting him.
3 weeks had gone by since that fateful night and there was still no sign of Ryan.
The nana was being a big help. She'd tell him and Kirsten when to sleep, when to eat. She was keeping them optimistic even though every day the police were getting more and more pessimistic.
However, nothing could help Sandy through this particular day.
The 5th March 2004.
Sandy would never forget that day.
It had started, just as all the others had.
The nana came into Sandy and Kirsten's room, coffee for both of them at the ready. Then she left them to take Seth's cup up to his bedroom.
It was while Sandy was sipping politely at March 5ths coffee, not particularly wanting the coffee but drinking it anyway as something to distract himself, when he got the phone call.
He didn't even hesitate about flipping open the phone to see who was on the other end; he was too tired to care.
"Sandy Cohen," he said automatically.
"Hi… uh… it's Mike here. I was wondering if we could meet today. There's something I want to tell you but I want to do it in person."
Sandy had been a public defender for many years and he recognised the worry and regret in the man's voice. It immediately snapped him awake.
"What's happened?" he asked, almost dropping his mug of coffee in his rush to put it on the bed side table.
He could feel Kirsten's eyes boring in to him.
"Sandy… it could be nothing but I really need to meet with you." Sandy could feel his heart beat quickening.
A rush of emotions filled him.
"Mike… please?" He could barely keep the anxiety out of his voice and he heard the man sigh softly.
"Okay, I'll come to you. Just relax, try not to panic. It could really be nothing. I just need you to keep calm. I'll be there in about ten minutes."
Sandy barely heard the man say goodbye as he continued to hold the phone to his ear in shock.
His mind raced through everything that could possibly have happened, what was Mike going to tell him?
"Sandy? What's going on?" Kirsten's voice broke through his conscious.
She sounded so scared and Sandy wanted to take that fear away, he could feel the same feeling inside of himself. He knew she didn't need placating or being given false hope. What she needed was to know where her adopted son was.
"Mike's coming over. He has something he wants to tell us…" Kirsten's watched him with wide, blue eyes.
"He says it could be nothing but he didn't want to tell me on the phone." He breathed out, rubbing a shaking hand over his face.
"Oh God," Kirsten whispered.
He put his arm around her. "Whatever he says, we'll take it together, okay? The last thing Ryan would want us to do is fall apart. We just have to stick together."
She nodded silently, leaning in to him.
"Okay," she breathed
xxx
Fifteen minutes later, the two of them sat together, holding hands and watching the man before them, scrutinising every single movement that he made.
Sandy watched the way that Mike tried to keep his voice calm as he began to speak.
"Okay, I'm not going to dilly dally around. There has been a teenager found, who matches Ryan's description. Now, remember it may not be Ryan, but just to be sure, they would like one of you to come…"
Kirsten breathed a sigh of relief. She interrupted him. "So you mean you found him? Is he okay?" She squeezed Sandy's hand, beaming.
Sandy still watched Mike. Something wasn't right.
"Why couldn't you have told me this over the phone?" he asked sceptically.
Mike paused for a few seconds before pulling out a piece of paper from his bag and handing it to Sandy.
Sandy bit down hard on his lip; his trembling hands clasped the paper tightly as he read the words. He could feel Mike watching him.
He fought to keep his voice level. "Will you come with me?" he asked and the man before him nodded.
Kirsten frowned, her excitement diminishing before their eyes.
"What? Sandy? What's the matter? Where is he? Sandy?" Sandy rubbed her arm, trying to calm her down.
"I told them that I'd bring you as soon as I could. Remember, it's not definitely Ryan." Mike leaned forward, making sure he had both their eyes on him.
Kirsten snatched the piece of paper out of Sandy's hand, scanning her eyes over the address.
"Oh God," she whispered. "Oh no, Sandy…."
Sandy knew that he had to do this. Kirsten wouldn't be able to handle it.
"Come on, let's get you to the kitchen." he stood and pulled her to her feet. "Just give me a minute," he said quietly to Mike.
The nana was sitting in the kitchen, looking at a cookery book. She looked up as they entered and immediately stood up when she saw the tears falling down Kirsten's face.
"Ma, will you look after her. I have to go out… I shouldn't be long." he said, struggling to keep himself calm. He had to take charge. He needed to hang on to that littlest piece of hope that Ryan could still be alive. It could be someone else. He settled Kirsten into a stool by the counter top.
"Where are you going?" his mom seemed a little afraid even to ask and Sandy fought back the tears as he told her.
He handed her the paper.
"A morgue…?" she whispered, her face paling.
"It might not be Ryan but they need someone to say whether it is or isn't."
His mom's eyes widened with shock and she pulled him into a hug. "Good luck," she whispered in his ear.
She'd never been the most huggable mom but God, he really needed her comfort right now.
xxx
Mike kept a hand on his shoulder as the body was brought over to him. The drive over had been in silence and Sandy's brain was overflowing with thoughts.
The man in the white coat asked him if he was ready and he hesitated, looking back at the door they had come through.
"Just give him a second," Mike told the man. "It's okay Sandy, I'm right here."
How was this in the slightest bit okay?
Sandy took a deep breath. He hated how everyone was waiting for him to give the go ahead. Like, he was ever going to be ready to see a dead body especially with the risk that it could be his son's.
He didn't know what he'd do if it was Ryan. He did know that whoever had taken Ryan, was going to have to pay big time, when he was found.
He wished Ryan could send him a sign telling him whether he was the one lying on the hard metal stretcher.
He gave a quick small nod. Trying to make himself feel like he was ready.
His heart beat wildly in his chest as the man picked up the corner of the blanket.
His breathing quickened.
Please don't be Ryan. Please don't be Ryan.
He felt his hands shaking and nausea rolled lazily around in his stomach.
Please don't be Ryan.
He saw a bit of blonde hair.
Oh God please, please don't make it be Ryan.
The face was revealed and Sandy felt the nausea pushing its way up.
Immediately, there was bowl placed under his chin.
It was that day the 5th March 2004 that Sandy had truly believed for a few seconds that his son was dead. Only to find that it was someone else's 15 year old, blonde boy's son.
As Sandy gagged and threw up, the sight of the dead boy's face fixed in his mind, he was filled with so many emotions.
He felt tremendous relief that Ryan could still be alive. But then there was guilt. Somewhere, that boy's parents were praying for their son to be alive. He wondered if they were doing the same thing, seeing other dead children's bodies. Feeling a burst of relief that it wasn't their son's but little did they know that their son was lying on a cold hard stretcher, being looked at by a complete stranger.
Sandy knew that that day March 5th would haunt him forever.
tbc…
Thanks for reading.