Torchwood Blues

Author: Milady Dragon

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is not mine.

Author's note: Last chapter, and then the epilogue. Thanks to everyone who have read and reviewed, you guys make me want to write.

In this chapter: Ianto gets deadly ninja skills and kicks arse; Jack was right, and someone breaks out the cuffs…

Chapter Ten

Jack knew what was going to happen, and he launched himself at Swanson the moment Ianto threw the baby-shaped bomb at John, covering her with his body. He knew that the explosion itself would only be for shock value, and wouldn't be powerful enough to do much damage, but plastic shrapnel from the doll the bomb had been hidden in could be quite painful to extract. His coat would protect him from the worst of the effects.

It was the miniature electromagnetic pulse charge that would cause the most harm…especially to John's wrist strap.

It did exactly what it was supposed to. Everyone was knocked off their feet, including the men who'd been guarding Swanson and himself. He quickly yanked the stunned cop to her feet, then used his fists to make the goons stay down. Then he headed toward where John had been standing.

The man's reaction time was much faster, and Hart was already running off through the factory, with Ianto hot on his heels.

Jack cursed, taking off after the two running men. By the sound of shoes behind, Swanson was following him.

John was fast; he dodged around the derelict equipment, trying to block Ianto's path, but the younger man kept up his relentless pursuit. He heard Ianto yelling something, but the echoes made it impossible to understand.

Jack put on more speed, wanting to catch them both. If everything went according to plan, then John would want to collect the cyber controller from wherever he'd hidden it, and then get the hell out of the building. In fact, he was rather hoping John would do exactly that.

He practically ran into his husband when Ianto suddenly stopped. He somewhat breathlessly cursed in Welsh. "I lost him!" Then he got a glimpse of Swanson. "What the hell is she doing here?"

"I followed him," she hooked a thumb toward Jack, "and stowed away on the boat." She sounded even more breathless than Ianto did.

"Lieutenant," Jack said, "we need you to go back and secure those men. Ianto and I will go after John."

"Look, I don't pretend to understand half of what was said back there, but if you think I'm letting you both out of my sight now - "

"I can take care of myself," the older immortal retorted, "and Ianto knows how to kill someone using only his little finger. Do you want him to demonstrate?"

Swanson's mouth fell open as she glanced at the Welshman. Ianto simply quirked an eyebrow in her direction.

"I'll just…go and secure the other prisoners," she finally said.

"Good idea."

Once Swanson was gone, Ianto looked at Jack. "Since when did I get such deadly ninja skills?"

Jack shrugged. "I had to tell her something to get her off our backs."

"She's getting Retcon just as soon as we're done here."

"Agreed. Now, let's find John."

He should have known.

John ran through the factory that had become his base, heading toward the room where he'd stashed the cyber controller as soon as he realized he'd lost Eye Candy in the labyrinth of rusting machines. He needed to get out, and cover his tracks more carefully next time.

But yeah, John had completely underestimated Jack. Sure, he'd known his ex-partner had shown himself to Eugene Jones on purpose, to announce to John that Jack had known he was there. However, John hadn't even considered the idea that Jack would have arranged to get grabbed on purpose. Or that he'd been counting on John going after Eye Candy and the baby. He'd learned that lesson, now that whatever had been in that bomb had shorted out his Vortex Manipulator.

Honestly though, when he'd realized that the man his minions had seen in that restaurant was Ianto Jones…well, that had been a shock. The last time he'd seen the Welshman, he'd been in the middle of being torn apart in the Rift. He wondered just how he'd escaped. Jealousy roiled in John's gut; that Jack had chosen a mere mortal as his partner, and that they'd had a child together…that was what John had wanted, but Jack had turned him down flat. And now there was no chance of anything between them. Maybe he should've left Jones alone? Maybe Jack would've gotten tired of him.

But no, John hadn't been able to take the idea that he had a rival for Jack's affections. And he'd had to risk anything he might have had in the future by tossing the arse into the open Rift. Well, John had always had impulse issues.

It took only moments to get the controller, and then John headed outside, where he hoped to sneak away before Jack and Eye Candy managed to get back on his trail. He might not like Louisiana, but there were plenty of wild areas where he could hide himself until his buyers showed up. He did curse himself; there was no way he could warn them away, now that his Manipulator wasn't working. Maybe he could get a lift offworld…

The coast seemed clear, so the ex-Time Agent stepped from the building and out into the late afternoon sunlight. He was halfway across the overgrown yard heading toward the trees beyond when a form moved to cut him off.

John barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Why can't I get rid of you?"

Eye Candy stood there, a smirk on his handsome features. "I'm like a bad penny…I just keep turning up."

"Look, all I want is to be able to make a little bit of money. What do you have against free enterprise?" John pouted, hoping to get some sort of sympathy.

Instead, Ianto's face went stony. "I've seen what comes from that technology, and I refuse to let it happen again. Hand it over, and we won't throw you into the deepest, darkest cell we can find."

"I don't really think so." He pulled his main gun from its holster, pointing it at his opponent. "Now, why don't you step aside, and I won't shoot you."

"Do you really think I don't know you'll shoot me anyway?"

"You have a point." His finger tightened on the trigger. The sound of the shot disturbed birds for miles around.

John took a step toward his now dead rival. A perfect bullet hole decorated the high forehead, blue eyes cold in death.

"You know," a low drawl said from behind him, "you really shouldn't have done that."

He turned. Jack stood there, arms crossed, looking rightly pissed. But not, to John's surprise, looking like he'd just lost his lover to a well-placed bullet. "He was in my way," he shrugged. "It's a shame really; I bet he was a fantastic lay."

"Oh, you have no idea. Now, I'll take the case, and if you give it to me now I might not kill you."

"Now Jack…you won't kill me."

"In your dreams, Hart. Don't even think I won't, because of the damage that you can do with that technology."

He was confused. "But why aren't you all over me about killing Eye Candy?"

"Because I'm not that easy to kill."

An almost superstitious shiver passed through the ex-Time Agent as he spun at the sound of that hated voice.

Ianto Jones stood there, the hole in his forehead closing even as John watched.

"Oh Goddess," he moaned. "Not two of you!" This was bad. Even if John hadn't tried to kill the man twice, he knew that any chance he'd ever had with Jack was now over. His former partner now had someone who could spend eternity with him, while John was still quite sadly mortal.

There was no choice for it.

John lashed out with the heavy case, catching Ianto across the face with it. The younger man fell to the ground, and John darted past.

Ianto managed to grab his foot as he tried to get away, pulling him down with a hard thud. John had to let go of the case in order to defend himself; he twisted around in Ianto's grasp, kicking the man in the face with his free boot.

That didn't seem to deter Ianto. He practically crawled up John's body, and not in a pleasant way. He straddled John's hips, swinging a powerful right and slammed his fist into John's face.

If John had been any less of a masochist, he wouldn't have enjoyed it.

He bucked his hips, dislodging Ianto and then managing to scramble to his feet. The younger man was just a few beats behind, but it was enough for John to grab the case once more and hare out across the open expanse, Ianto giving chase.

A sudden, very loud whoosh brought John's headlong flight to a halt.

He glanced up, and recognized the Traxian transport that hovered just above him. The Traxians had been one of the races he'd invited for the auction, and John wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth at them being about a day early. He could get a ride by offering certain concessions…plus, the Traxians were just plain hot.

The appearance of the vessel didn't stop Eye Candy from rugby tackling John to the ground, the case flying away.

John flipped himself onto his back, staring up into the glaring features of Jack's lover…no, husband. He pasted a smile onto his own features. "Better let me up, Eye Candy. I doubt the Traxians would be happy about you restraining me."

"Ianto!" It was Jack's voice calling, and it caught the younger man's attention enough for him to notice the rather large laser cannon pointed in his general direction.

"You interested in dying again today?" John sneered. "I kinda bet death by super-heated light beam isn't one you can come back quickly from."

Ianto stood up somewhat reluctantly. Jack walked up beside him, glaring. "Don't think this is over, Hart," Jack growled. "We'll find a way to get you."

John just smirked. "You're welcome to try." He leaned over and retrieved the case. "It's been fun, although I wouldn't have minded a threesome while I was here…"

"That will never happen," Jack snapped. "And you know, never is a long time for both of us."

"It's a shame really," John said, backing toward the transport. "It would've been fun – "

Ianto took a menacing step forward, and John backed away even faster. It looked like he was going to come after him, laser or not. Not that John could blame him; of course, now he knew how the man had survived the Rift Storm. It just wasn't fair; John could have used immortality a lot more creatively than staying on just one planet…

The transport landed, and John heard a door sliding open behind him. That was his cue to turn and dart into the ship. "Thank you boys," he called out to the pilots. He could just see two silhouettes in the cockpit beyond. "I'm sure we can make some sort of deal when we get off this benighted planet."

The door closed, and John found himself in the cramped passenger cabin all by himself. He felt the vessel rock slightly as it took off, and he made his way to the cockpit in order to properly thank his rescuers. A very small part of him was disappointed that he was leaving Jack behind, but that ship had escaped orbit a long time ago.

"You don't know how glad I was to see you show up early – " he stammered to a halt as he realized the pair in the cockpit weren't Traxians at all.

One was a thin man wearing a tweed jacket and bow tie, with a mop of dark hair falling over his high forehead. The second…

Was a Judoon.

And it hit John like a gold brick, that this was exactly what Jack had planned. That he'd known the only way to get him into custody would be to make him want to go there himself.

It was a trap. A bloody good one, too.

As the skinny man was slipping a set of electronic binders on his wrists, John threw his head back and laughed.

This was what made Jack the best.

Jack and Ianto stood together as the transport arced gracefully overhead. "I told you," Jack murmured, slinging his arm over his husband's shoulders. "No one ever looks at the driver."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Yes, you were right."

"Let's go and get our son. Oh, and after that arse-kicking you gave John, we're officially calling him Ianto Gareth."

Ianto nodded, capitulating on both their son and letting Jack guide him back toward the factory…and saw Lieutenant Swanson standing, her mouth open, staring up at the retreating spaceship.

"I'll get the Retcon," Ianto sighed.

"Good idea."