Author's Chapter Notes:

Thank you for all the reviews! It was either update them or this, guessed that you'd rather I did this first! Hugs, Mary xx

Slightly longer chapter. Dean goes seeking answers but Bobby might not like the questions.

Angsty!Dean in this one!

Dean thought about phoning and then decided against it. Surprise he reckoned would be the best form of attack. If Sam was in South Dakota then Dean knew of at least one person who he might be staying with or might know where he was at least.

He tried to wrap his head around it as he steered his way clear of the town. Sam was back. His brother was upstairs, alive and breathing. Had been for a while by the sounds of it. Anger moulded with relief as he hit an empty, straight stretch of road and the Impala opened up with a roar as he floored her.

It was like slipping on his dad's old jacket as he settled into the soft leather of the car, spirit lifting slightly as he relaxed into the rhythm of the road beneath her wheels. It had been so long since he'd done this, four months since the last time he been out on the road. He stuck Metallica in the tape deck, cranked it all the way up and pointed the car in the direction of Bobby's.

Bobby raised his head as he heard the roar of the big engine and the sound of gravel spraying under the wheels of the car that came sliding to halt inside the yard.

He couldn't see the car, but then he really didn't need to. He didn't even need the one guess to know who it was pulling in. Sighing he shut the book and had almost made it to the door as it opened and an irate Dean Winchester strode into his kitchen. "Did you know? Is he here?"

Dean went to push past the old hunter but Bobby stopped him with a hand. "Good to see you again too Dean, wanna tell me what the hell's got up your ass?"

Dean turned his head to look at him, his eyes cold and a little glassy. "Did you know?," he almost hissed.

"Know what?" Bobby dropped his arm and turned to the table behind him, fetching up the half empty bottle that was sitting there and pouring out a glass. He turned and offered it to Dean, surprise colouring his face when the young man waved it away. "You on the wagon?" He took his first good look at Dean, the healthy glow on his skin, the lack of bags and dark circles under his eyes. It was just the haunted look in his eyes and the tension that rippled from him that spoiled the picture. "You look good kid."

Dean shrugged, deflated a little in front of him. "Not getting knocked around every day and getting more than two hours sleep a night'll do that for you. As for your other question, serving booze and drinking it at the same time? It don't mix, so I ain't been drinking, not since….," he paused. "I kinda lost it after Stull, Lisa straightened me out." A little smile drifted over his lips at her name.

Bobby didn't push, Dean's relationship with his girl wasn't any of his business, he was just glad that the kid had someone looking out for him.

Dean's voice broke into his thoughts. "So, anyway, Rufus came into the bar that I 'm working in, told me that he'd seen Sam."

Bobby decided that he was going to hunt his old friend down and give him an unpleasant death.

"Didn't believe him at first, but he was sure. Have you seen him, heard anything?" Dean looked round the room as if his brother was suddenly going to materialise in front of him.

"Sam's topside? Since when?" The elder hunter tipped the drink down his throat in one go and wiped his face with the back of his hand. His eyes shifted down as Dean looked at him and the younger man's brow creased in a frown.

"According to Rufus, at least two months." Dean's eyes flicked round the room one more time and then stopped back on Bobby's face, eyes finally falling to the glass in Bobby's hand that the older man was still staring intently down at.

"Where is he?," Dean asked softly.

Bobby looked up at that, opened his mouth to protest his innocence and then shut it again at the look on his young friend's face. He was rumbled. "I'm sorry kid, he asked me not to tell you…."

Dean stepped back like Bobby had slapped him, emotions kaleidoscoping across his features. "How long?," he asked.

The older hunter turned, put down the glass. "He got here the day after you left."

Dean made a noise that Bobby couldn't put a name to, a hurt little sound in the back of his throat. "He got back right away?" The hand was up, wiping across that expressive face. "Is he okay?"

"Has a few issues that he seems to be working through but if you're asking me if he's Sam, then yeah, seems to be. He's quiet though. Hasn't really said much about what happened."

Dean stepped back, eyed the door. Bobby waited.

"Were either of you ever gonna tell me? Don't you think that I at least deserved to know?" There was a broken edge to Dean's voice, pain lancing the words.

"I tried to get him too…," Bobby started.

"…didn't try hard enough," Dean finished. "Where is he?"

"Hot Springs still. There's a nest of demons out that way, he's trying to hunt them down. I can give you directions if you're wanting to go talk to him?"

Dean gave a little snort, a cruel half-laugh. "No. Don't bother," he said, pursing his lips and shaking his head, eyes cast somewhere over Bobby's head.

"Dean…." Bobby moved towards him and the younger man turned, almost sprinted for the door. "….I know you're hurt, can imagine what you were thinking but…." He didn't get to finish.

Eyes blazing Dean turned back to him. "Hurt! You don't know jack shit about hurt! Do you know how hard it's been for me these last few months? What I've gone through knowing where he was, or where I thought he was? This rested look?" Dean pulled the little bottle from his pocket. "I don't drink because it don't mix well with these." He shook the bottle. "These are the only things that let me sleep at night, sleep at all actually. The only things that stop the god damned awful dreams. I work two jobs to keep myself busy, to stop myself thinking about it." Dean ran a hand through his hair, eyes wild and unfocused. "See, I didn't have to imagine what they were doing to my brother down there Bobby because I knew! I'd been there, I got the damn postcard!"

There were tears in his eyes that he wiped viciously away. "And all that time he was here, with you and neither one of you thought enough of me to let me know, put me out my misery!" Dean's whole body was shaking as he backed away again. "I wake up every damned day and think of a reason not to use these." He pulled the horseman's rings from his pocket. "Not to open the cage and throw myself in." He sobbed out the words and then screamed at Bobby. "EVERY DAMNED DAY!" The older hunter flinched as Dean spat the words at him.

"If it hadn't been for Lisa and the fact that I damn well promised him…I would have…and all that time he was here. I could have started this all up again and for nothing because he was already here!" Dean stuffed the bottle back in his pocket and pulled open the door. He half ran, half stumbled down the stairs, tears blinding him as he did.

"DEAN!," Bobby screamed from behind him. He didn't stop, just headed for the car. A hand stopped him as he reached for the door, Bobby desperately trying to pull him back. "Son, I'm sorry. I promised him I wouldn't say until he was ready to face you."

Dean shrugged free, hurt, tearful eyes meeting the older hunter's own. "God damn sons of bitches! Both of you! What did I ever do that was so bad that I deserved to be left thinking that my brother was rotting in Hell while I was trying to be Joe Normal like he asked me to?" He pushed Bobby away, let his head drop, chest heaving as he tried to get control back. "Does he hate me that much? Do you?"

It was said quietly but the words hit Bobby like daggers. "Son, I could never hate you. As for your brother? Sam doesn't, couldn't hate you." His own voice was low now, his tone soothing.

"Then I'd hate to see how he'd treat me if he did." With that Dean pulled open the car door and slid inside.

"Where are going?," Bobby asked worriedly.

"Home." With that he gunned the engine and pulled away.

Watching until the car fishtailed out the yard gates Bobby reached into his pocket and pulled his phone free. "You got a problem," he said as it was answered. "Dean knows." He paused as he listened. "Not well," he uttered and then he closed the phone without waiting for a reply and wearily trailed back into the house.

"Glad I'm an only friggin' child, " he muttered as he settled back down to his book and filled his glass again.

TBC

Chapter End Notes:

This story will get the boys together soon, next chapter or the next again, but it won't be plain sailing and it will touch on areas that some people love and others hate. Just so that you know. And where it seems to be going ain't where it's going to end up.