Chapter 4 – Making difficult choices

Today was Christmas Eve and Harry had avoided Ginny all day, he felt so terrible and guilty for what had happened between them last night in the kitchen. He didn't know how to handle the situation, he wanted to love her more than he thought possible. But with his and Ginny's connection with Voldemort it became even more dangerous for them to be close. He knew he would never ever be able to deny their friendship to one another, so he knew that was a risk he had to take.

Voldemort knew she was in his group of friends as she had accompanied him to the Ministry of Magic, but imagine if he found out that Harry Potter the person he was desperate to kill was in love with the so called 'Blood Traitor' family, the 11 year old girl who he possessed for a whole year.

Also with Ginny's past with the Chamber of Secrets he knew that Voldemort wanted her for revenge but not as much as other like Harry and Dumbledore, where he focused on killing them more.

Harry knew Ginny could protect herself, he had watched her in the DA last year and realised how much of a good fighter she really was. She gave him a good run for his money aswell. However against Voldemort, there wasn't much hope.

He had managed all day to get jobs off Mrs Weasley to get the house ready for tomorrow, as most of the family would be arriving for their Christmas dinner. He tried to get jobs with Ron and Hermione or tried sticking with Mr or Mrs Weasley, he needed time to think about how he was going to approach Ginny but nothing was helping.

The eggs needed collecting from the hen house for tomorrows breakfast, so he collected the basket from the kitchen and made his way over to the hen house. The fresh layer of snow littered the ground as Harry made his way over to the wooden coop, he lifted the roof and began collecting the warm eggs and placing them in his basket.

He didn't sense somebody walking out of the fields near him, Ginny stopped short and gasped as she saw him.

He heard a gasp and jumped knocking his head on the roof of the hen house.

"Bugger!" he yelled.

"Oh Harry I didn't mean to startle you." As she moved over to him to see if he was ok.

He jumped when she touched the stop on his head to see if a bump was appearing. "Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine!" he replied, rubbing the top of his head harshly. He straightened up and looked over to Ginny, she looked so beautiful her red hair filtering out underneath her grey beret. Her creamy skin shimmering in the afternoon sun and her petite body wrapped in a snug knee length duffle coat. She look hesitantly at him and parted her perfect pink lips to speak, the tingling feeling she left on his lips last night returned as she began.

"Harry?" she said shakily.

"Ginny I'm so sorry about last night, I dunno what came over me. I just lost it I suppose, we're just so close anyway." He explained

"I know people keep asking if we're together because of the way we act with one another. But that's just our friendship isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah I mean I'm so used to touching you anyway and sleeping beside you, but we're just really close friends aren't we?"

"Harry this isn't going to spoil our relationship with one another is it?"

"I hope not, I don't want it to! I need you in my life, our relationship is what keeps me going." He said.

"I don't want it to either, so we're good. No awkward feelings anymore because I kind of noticed you were avoiding me as much as I was avoiding you." She replied.

They both laughed and Harry chuckled "We're so predictable aren't we."

"Yeah we certainly are." She agreed.

Ginny felt relieved they were speaking again but she soon realised that Harry's actions had not been the genuine ones she had craved from him. She hid the hurt that was rocketing around her body desperate to spill out, but she couldn't imagine not having Harry in her life so she was willing to reach a compromise for now.

Harry looked into Ginny's eyes and he saw the hurt he was causing her, but he knew she was putting on a show for him. His own heart was twisting itself inside him, how could he be doing this to her, when all he wanted to do was kiss her and wrap he up in his arms forever.

He didn't know how long he could keep this charade up; he was leading her on and using her to curb his own need to be with her. But it wasn't enough for him and wished for more.

...............................................................................................................................

Christmas day came and went by without a hitch, everyone had been there and it was exactly what everyone needed. Just a day to forget the real world and the devastation that was being caused, Harry and Ginny's relationship was back to normal; however neither could shake the feelings that swirled around inside them from the other night.

Mrs Weasley kept looking hopeful between the two throughout dinner, hoping that they would eventually stop denying their feelings for one another and be happy. The world was crumbling around them and everyone needed to live their lives as today could be there last.

Late that night after everyone had gone to bed he decided he needed a glass of water before going to sleep; he walked through the bedroom door and headed to the kitchen. When he arrived outside the door he realised someone was still awake and occupied in that room, he slowly opened the door to discover Mrs Weasley sitting at the kitchen table her hands wrapped round a hot mug of tea.

"Harry dear, are you ok? Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh hello, yes that would be nice. Thank you Mrs Weasley." He replied

Mrs Weasley jumped up and went to retrieve a cup and poured him his tea and handed it to Harry.

"Thank you." He said while sipping it slowly.

"Are you ok dear?" she questioned.

Harry knew this wasn't a general question, he knew Mrs Weasley had asked a deeper sort of question, he knew that she could read her adopted son like a book.

"I feel better than I have for along time, today has been fantastic just what I needed." He replied.

"You know Harry, Arthur and I have been together a very long time. We were about 17 years old when we fell in love, it happened in the midst of the first war. It was different times back then we didn't know how long we would have together, there was no hope in the first war you see." She explained.

Harry wasn't sure what she was getting at unless she knew his deepest secret about her only daughter. His heart began to race, beating so hard that he was sure it was hitting off his rib cage.

"We both loved each other and got married and had children, we didn't allow the war stop us from enjoying what time we had left. And look at us now, we survived and we've got wonderful children. We're still fighting now, but it hasn't stopped our lives, we won't allow it!" she continued.

Harry nodded his heart still racing.

"I know Harry, I'm sorry to bring this up but I don't think I'm the only one who knows." She announced.

She could see the panic look that lay in his eyes, and fiddled with the edge of the table. "I dunno what you mean?" He lied.

"I think you do, my daughter feels the same." She revealed

"What?" Harry said startled by her last sentence.

"Harry dear, you can't run from your feelings. I've noticed the way you and Ginny look and act with one another, at first I saw it was only friendship but now it's grown into something so special."

Harry sprang out of his chair knocking it to the floor as he flung his arms into the air.

"How do you know?" he muttered in distraught. As he pressed his forehead to the kitchen wall as his arms braced him against it, as he tried to process the information that was falling from Mrs Weasley's mouth.

"I can see it in your eyes." She answered moving over to where Harry stood and embraced him.

"I love her Mrs Weasley, I love her so much it hurts. I'm so scared for her, what if he finds out?" he said shakily.

"Ginny doesn't care, we're all such a target anyway. We choose our own paths, you didn't! She explained hugging him close. "She loves you so much too, she'd follow you to the moon!"

"I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her, everyone I get close to dies!"

"Voldemort wants you to be miserable Harry, don't let him win dear. Stopping yourself from revealing your feelings is exactly what he wants."

"I dunno, I guess I've got more thinking to do. You won't tell anyone will you?" he questioned.

"Of course not but don't let people look into yours eye because they give away all your secrets." He whispered to him and releasing him from her grasp.

"Guess I should go back to bed." He said as he kissed her on the cheek and turned to walk out of the room.

"Goodnight dear." She called after him.

He turned to face her before he went through the door and smiled "Thank you...mum!"

"You're welcome son." She replied softly as a tear slid down her cheek.