Looks like I've got my mojo back! Yay!
Alright, a lot is taking place in this one chapter so I think I should explain one thing. Rogue is loosing it. Yeah. She's dropped her basket, there are far to many different personalities in her mind for her OWN personality to maintain control.
I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much as I loved writing it. Don't forget to send feedback so I know how you are all liking it, and of course thanks to my AWESOME Beta for keeping things under control.
Chapter Nine
The Aftermath
Dead man walking, the phrase suited me so well at this point; I went from bar fight to bar fight never looking further than my own nose. I'd wasted eight months being away from her, since then I've died a million small deaths and each time I've seen her face. What must it have been like on that night a month ago, was she sleeping soundly in her bed, her pale creamy skin glistening slightly from the moons rays coming in through the curtains, that impossibly thick, rich chestnut hair fanned out on her pillow.
Maybe, hopefully she slept one last good sleep, none of my own nightmares to tarnish her soul with fear and the darkness of the world.
I think about that night more than any other memory I have of her. I imagine her death over and over inside my head and let the pain wash over my miserably fucked up self until that's all there is left. Pain and emptiness. Everything in my soul screams for it to have been quick and painless, that she never knew what was really happening, but I know those bastards for to good for that. A pretty girl, so what if her mutation is in her skin, there are plenty of ways to get around that, I know I've thought of them.
A month later and I can still remember. I can remember it like it happened a minuet ago.
My pours opened, letting all that steam and scolding water spray down over me, waking my body up again from it's dormant state that had come over it in the snow. Parts of my body that were numb started to sting and tingle before I finally had enough and climbed out of the shower. The cabin was getting toasty again as I wrapped a towel around my waist and prepared to give me best apology to Chuck.
It wasn't his fault I was a low life sonovabitch who couldn't take on responsibility for anyone or anything. Chuck deserved better then what I'd given him and so did Marie, but right now I couldn't do anything about that.
I was in the living room when the vibrations from the kitchen drawer alerted me to a phone call. Of course I assumed that the Professor had left some telepathic link open in my mind and was calling before I had the chance, the old crow was always two steps ahead. Running my fingers through my hair quickly I marched into the kitchen prepared to halt Xavier in whatever lame ass excuse he'd made for me and apologize for myself rather then have the old man doing it for me. Chuck probably didn't realize it but that shit made me feel like a kid saying I was sorry for breaking a next door neighbors window or something, and having my father there pushing me into the apology the whole time. Yes, in many ways I thought of Chuck as a father. I wouldn't dare admit that shit to his face, for all we knew I could very well be his father or grandfather.
FUCK I'm not good at this shit.
As soon as I reached the drawer that I'd slammed the X-Phone into however, I knew there was something wrong. That wasn't the usual tone it emitted when there was an in-coming call. Something was wrong. Jerked the handle so hard I ripped the whole drawer out of it's casing and scattered random kitchen articles pins, note pads, the X-Phone, an empty box of rubbers, silverware and a whole string of fresh magnum sized condoms out onto the floor.
The display screen was flashing red as I scrambled on my hands and knees to grab the phone, my heart starting to pound inside it's protective cavity as fumbling fingers grasped the damned phone at last and brought it to my face. My unruly hair covering my eyes as I read the message.
Xavier told me a long time ago, when I had first came to the X-Men that if anything should ever happen while a member of the team, a student what-have-you, was away that we each carried a personal communication device on our person at all times, and that if the school should ever come under attack that we would each get fair warning. This was that warning.
Within twenty minuets I was dressed and slamming my bags into the my truck not giving it a chance to warm up, the old engine itself grinding, clanking, and ticking as I floored it down the icy snow packed logging road that lead up to the cabin. How I ever made it into New York with a speeding ticket or running off the road is probably a miracle from whatever divine being there is out there. Snow was starting to fall again as the sun went down and I got stuck in the traffic that was, as I had to admit to myself, inevitable.
Still fuming, I lit a cigar, the first one I'd had since God knows when and sat there waiting impatiently for the cars to move and doing more than my share of laying on the horn.
My body was numb at this point, not truly feeling anything as my worst fears seemed to build new nightmares in my minds eye of what I would find when I got to the mansion. I tried, damn did I try, to tell myself that it was probably a false alarm, maybe the Brotherhood had gotten bored and decided to pay the mansion a little visit and shake things up but even that thought didn't calm the turbulent of horrors that were ghosting through my mind.
If it was the Brotherhood, I'd find everyone of those little bastards and gut them if it wasn't them I'd gut them, and if it was... The thought was lost as the traffic ahead of the truck started to thin out and I was able to move forward taking the turn off that lead out of the city and towards the mansion. All I cared about was getting there and finding out that it was all some big mistake. Go up to her room and find her sitting in the middle of her bed, headphones on, listening to that classical music she loves so much and reading a book or playing that game...what was it called... FaceFarm? BookVille? ...whatever. I'd never wished harder, prayed more in my known existence until this point but now I was calling out to the forced that would listen to make my dream so.
Outside the gate I knew my hopes were doomed from the moment that my fear rattled brain had planted them. The seeds were sown and the harvest had withered as the normal flourish of lights that were normally blazing from within the dwelling were nothing but silent lonely ships lost at sea. The darkness of the place was palpable.
Stopping the truck, I didn't even bother pulling into the long circular drive way. My heart ceased to beat because I knew as soon as I saw those doors that there was nothing left there to see. Marie was gone, the X-Men ceased to be a reality anymore. Stepping out of the truck I heard the gravel crunching under my work books but didn't feel it. Sensed the freezing cold as the temperatures dropped and saw my breath become vapor before my face.
The lose of friends was nothing, it meant very little to a man like me. I never needed anyone before and somehow in a way I had come to need her. She'd ruined me. And now she was gone.
Marie, my light my savor...was no more.
In the past I had never been real big on pain, now it seems like it's the only thing that makes it real. I bleed just to know that I am still alive. Hurtful, good pain.
Of course they'd be coming for me, I was their pride and joy. Whatever secrets my skin held they wanted and had I known it I would have willingly given it to them the moment I was taken. So many deaths all of them I was unable to stop there was too much going on. All the imagines tumbling around in my head and I didn't understand it. I couldn't turn it off anymore, the ounce of control I'd gained at the mansion was all shot to shit now compared to my past history. I could choose to hurt people if I wanted to back then, now I was left with no other option and even that they had taken away from me. Like de-clawing a cat...I've been left defenseless.
How I escaped I can't remember, all I do remember is the alarms going off and being alone in my cell before a mass of warmth was surrounding me. I was so tired from the drugs they'd given me that I couldn't even fight it as large hands seemed to support my weight like a child's play thing. But it was warm, so gloriously warm compared to my icy prison and the freezing cold of the place I am now.
Fur, I can remember that now, lots and lots of fur. Growling, mumbling from a heavy baritone voice. A German accent maybe? I was curling into what felt like one huge chest, hair tickling my cheeks. I'm not sure if it was fur or actual really long hair but it was differently something like that. It was too dark outside once I felt the bracing cold, all I really wanted to do was to curl back up against that warm chest and go to sleep...I felt safe for the first time in a month.
"We're in luck..." calming voice, the arms shifting me, like a proud parent re-adjusting a new born for excited spectators to have a look at the little bundle, cold on my face. "She's barely alive, get her into the chopper Sabb-."
Shouting, lots of shouting and guns going off. I felt a jar in whoever was carrying me and then a sickening growl followed by my feet being placed in the cold snow. Shaking me, sharp nails digging into the scant flesh of my arms. They were trying to wake me, trying to get me to listen but all I can remember is a flurry of wild snow and a mans deep voice telling me to run.
"Run for it little, kitten...just run."
The danger of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks and I was off, running tripping and falling before picking myself up and running some more. I don't know how long I ran but I could no longer feel my feet carrying me, which was maybe a good thing because somehow it blocked out all the pain and it kept me moving.
I want to wake up from this nightmare now, the only rational thought in my mind is that this has to be some kind of dream. None of this can really be real. The world isn't like this. I'm laughing, why am I laughing? I can't seem to stop it. Pinching my eyes shut I back myself up against the freezing wall and shiver against the cold and the thin clothes on my body. It feels like every bone in my body as been pulled out of joint and my feet feel like they are frozen to the pavement.
Shivering I shake my head, causing my long greasy hair to fall around my eyes. It's so cold I'm sure I'm turning blue. Groaning I stomp my feet against the ground causing the pain to shoot up my spin, everything is dancing, people keep laughing at me. Are they really there? Or...am I just imagining it. I don't like their faces, there all twisted and ugly and it makes me start laughing again before that laugh turns into a sob and then a full blow screaming cry for help. I can't loose it now, I need to get farther away from this place before they find me again because surely they will, I know that they will and the man inside my head keeps screaming at me to move, run get away from those horrible place but I can't move yet.
There are shackles on my wrists, one of them has a little green light on it. It's what they're using to shut off my mutation. It would be so much easier if they weren't linked together but they are and try as hard as I do they would come off. My wrists are bleeding now and crusted with dried blood. The sensation of my nails digging into the bruised and mangled skin somehow feels good, the blood is warm despite my being so cold and I dig my fingers in further screaming in delight.
It's okay, your safe now...go with the man...he wont hurt you. He's not like the others he'll protect you and keep you safe while I'm here.
There are far to many persona's in this one mind and they all keep shifting some of them are good but some of them are bad too and the pain magnifies their presence. My skin is cold...but the bloods warm, its like fire running in my veins.
I like it.
Slowly the burgundy surrounding my wrist turns to crimson as I become aware that there are flash lights being aimed at me. Slow cautious foot steps of the men ahead of me. I've backed myself into a corner and there's no escaping them, but it doesn't really matter now. Take me...go ahead...
Let them come.
The jaw breaking shot brought me back to life. I was in the ring, just like any other night having my ass handed to me. Why I'm even trying is a mystery to me, there's no fight left on me and the Wolverine has retreated to a quiet corner in my mind, his presence is almost none existent.
I never thought there would come a day when I would allow myself to be beaten, but there is something in it that just feels right. Why should I put up a fight when my only reason for living now is gone. How did I ever do this before?
I don't even care if they figure out the mystery to the Wolverine.
It's all just bullshit anyway.
RING RING, RING RING
The cage masters calling an end to the match and I can feel the rough callused hands of two men pulling me out of the cage and dumping me into an empty seat next to my clothes. There's no telling how much money I've lost in the past three weeks. It all just seems to pointless.
New mutant labs are popping up every day now, the fact that they are living beings has begun to fade, we're nothing but animals to humans and frightening ones at that. Chuck always did say people feared what they didn't understand, but that it was a simple process of nature and that one day maybe years from now there wouldn't be another pure human left on the face of the planet. Mutation in human DNA was merely the next step in the evolutionary chain of events. Every since human in this bar held the DNA varieties to somehow change later on down the line, they simply chose to ignore it.
Picking up my clothes and boots, I moved slowly through the booing crowd towards the mens room to clean up and leave. Familiar faces are now a blur, women who once hung on me like flies to shit are too embarrassed that they ever met me to look at me from the corner of their eyes. Suits me just fine, I wouldn't have a one of them anyhow.
Looking into the scum covered film in the mirror my hairs grown longer, but I trimmed the beard a little but even that's growing back now.
Everything changes.
Its a reality that I can't out run no matter where I go.
Running the tap I clean off my hands and face off before shrugging into my shirt, using the counter to lean on pulling my socks and shoes onto my feet. I can't wait to put this town in my rear view and as strange as it sounds it's helping. Every night the fights help me forget but then when I'm alone it all find it's way back to me.
I've been eating, sleeping when I can, and eating when I remember too, someone once told me that everything else was optional, that's a lie but even if I could forget...I wouldn't choose to.
Everyone has gone quiet out in the bar as I walk back out from the bathroom and the whole lot of them are crowded around the bar looking up at the TV. Another mutant being captured I assume and in that assumption I can't stand to watch a drowning man die, so I sling my jacket over my shoulder and leave.
"Earlier this evening an attack was launched upon a mutant testing lab by known mutant organization the Brotherhood, several lab subject escaped. Our camera's were on the scene when this dangerous mutant was located and subdued by the authorities."
The news teams helicopter was captured footage of the apprehension of the 'dangerous mutant'. The spot light shown down on a young woman, fighting three different men as she was finally neutralized by a fourth with a needle.
"As you can see, this mutant is mentally disturbed." the reporter announced as the camera's came in for a close up of the woman's wrists and arms where visible teeth marks could be seen where the young woman had obviously bitten herself.
"Thanks you our newly formed mutant specialists team we can all sleep soundly tonight, back to you Rick."
Slowly, in an eruption of conversation the crowd dispersed from around the bar, eagerly going back to their nights festivities.
"So, d'we get'em back metal head?"
Even in these circumstances Jubilee's attitude and personality had changed very little. She was one of the few people who had gotten out of the mansion. Sadly, others had not been so lucky.
Since the attacks Jubilee, Peter, Scott and a handful of others had found refuge with the Brotherhood. They hadn't joined forced by any means, most of the remaining team members of the X-Men where either assumed dead or M.I.A.
"Miss Lee, I have politely asked you numerous times to please not call me that." Erik responded from behind his desk, Mystique standing behind his chair, massaging his temples. Jubilee always thought there was some kind of kinky relationship going on between those two.
"Well...what happened man, c'mon you wont let any of the X-Men go out with you on these look-outs and no one came back in the helicopter with you." Jubilee complained, worried and anxious to know whether or not any of her friends had been found.
"We found the one called Rogue." A deep voice announced from behind Jubilee.
Sabbretooth slowly entered the room, nursing a bullet wound to his lower back which was healing at an exaggeratedly slow pace.
"ROGUE! Where is she?" Jubilee turned, startled somewhat by Victor's presence, much like she always was around the large man.
"She got away...the lab had far more reinforcements than we anticipated and...we had to let her go." Erik said waving away the blue woman behind him like an irritating fly.
"Let her go? Whatt'a ya mean lett'er go! You mean she's still out there? Why aren't you lookin' for her man?"
Jubilee's entire stance had gone rigid, her fireworks sparking around the tips of her fingers.
"Raven, would you please?" Erik motioned towards the television set, which the blue woman turned on and slowly turned the volume up.
On the screen, Jubilee would have known Rogue anywhere as she was drugged and man handled into the back of a large van. The news reports had caught it all on tap. "We would've gone after her but...we risked getting ourselves captured as well..." Victor growled from his corner of the room.
"Indeed we did, my friend." Erik said solemnly. "As it is...we still haven't been able to locate Charles' whereabouts either." he added, a sadder note slipping into his vocals.
"Ah if only cerebra hadn't been destroyed during the attack." Erik said with a shack of his head.
Her lip trembling, tears beginning to blur her vision Jubilee turned exiting the large rock formation of Eriks private quarters.
"Shall I go after her?" Mystique questioned, standing at the edge of the desk, the woman having taken a strange liking to the young girl who created 'fireworks'.
"No. Let her go Raven...she will have to find her own solace...as the rest of us will if we can not recover our most admirable foes."