Erik tore himself away from Christine, only daring to look into her eyes one last time before walking outside the door of the church. Had he chosen to linger after her protest, he would not have been able to help himself to more of her. The feel and flavor of her on his taste buds was the most delicious thing he had ever sampled. So far, he thought with a fleeting smile. He took the time to find the creek that wound its way through the trees nearby. Christine would wonder where he had gone, but he was in need of the chance to compose his willpower against her temptations. By the time he returned she would be fully clothed once more. His face burned at the memory of her half naked body displayed before him like a porcelain sculpture. The way she moaned and clutched him to her as he buried his face between her breasts drove him into a mania of need. He saw in her eyes what he felt inside himself. She wanted him too. Her eyes glowed with the delirium of pleasure at his touch and it was all he could do to stop when she asked.
But then, he recalled what she had orated in her breathless pause. 'Not like this' she had said; not 'please stop' or 'we shouldn't do this'. 'Not like this' meant not here or now. His rational brain knew he did not want their first time to be coupled in the dirt and dust of a dilapidated old chapel amidst debris and most likely mouse droppings. The smaller voice in his pants said otherwise; it did not care when or how and he had to silence its demands with the cold water from the creek bed.
He doused himself in the freezing water after removing his shirt, dipping his entire face into it and splashing the water over his sweaty tensioned body. He coughed and spat water, wiping it out of his eyes and shaking it from his ears. He sat on a large stone next to the edge to give himself time to think and to dry off with his shirt. He needed a few moments to wrap his mind around a concept he had not previously been capable of realizing; she wanted him. Just as he wanted her, he knew there was no mistaking that response from her for pity or obligation or amusement. He dared to wonder if she desired him as fully as he did her. Had she thought of the possibilities of what lie in store for them should they both continue down the path he had set them upon?
He swore to himself as he stood and replaced his shirt back over his head, allowing it to hang loose over his trousers. Never did he imagine he would be in this situation. Two weeks ago he would never have been able to dream she would be his beloved sweetheart. Two days ago he would not have imagined she would kiss him after their first date. And two hours ago he would never have conceived that she would allow him access to her naked body and practically beg for more. What next, he wondered? Did he dare to actually propose to her so soon? He always dreamed of having a long engagement with her in his treasure trove of fantasies he never thought were possibilities. Erik imagined how they would court society together, hand in hand along the streets of Paris. How Christine would blush politely as others would compliment her on such a fine choice in a fiancé. Endless scenarios like these had plagued his mind ever since he laid eyes on her. Now they were becoming reality and then some, he almost didn't know what to do.
The desire to ask her to be his wife was now in the forefront of his thoughts. If she desired him physically as he thought she might, did she also love him? Would she say yes? As much as he wanted to believe she would, he still feared her rejection to such an offer. They had already toed the tightrope and teetered towards the dangerous side a few times in the last two days. It was only respectable to wait some decent length of time after asking for a courtship before proposing marriage; then another agonizing stretch of time before the wedding. And the wedding night, his subconscious reminded him. Could he possibly wait that long? He already felt like tearing the hair from his head in frustration. The temptation to see how far she would allow him to take things was stronger than ever. His advance on her had been unsolicited but had not been received as unwelcome. What would his little Angel allow before she drew the line? Did he dare push his boundaries that far? Such difficult decisions rattled his soul into hesitant agony.
He started back toward the chapel to collect their belongings. The chill water of the creek had only temporarily dampened his urges and he looked down at himself in exasperation at his natural responses to such thoughts. It was going to be a painfully hard ride back to town, he thought.
During Erik's sudden absence, Christine stood in the absolute silence of the expansive room. She clutched at the undone halves of her partially removed clothing, trembling from her experience. She was suddenly aware that her lip hurt as she licked it; she hadn't even noticed it when Erik kissed her over and over. She could still feel the heat on her skin where he fondled her bare chest. A fire ember burned quietly beneath her skirt, awaiting him to stoke it once more aflame. She felt slick with wet there so much more than was normal that she wondered whether it was supposed to be that way. His touch there through her skirt had been so unexpected, she nearly lost her ability to stand upright. Rapturous delirium overcame her and she was surprised she had the faculties to tell him to stop.
Wait, she thought, she did not tell him to stop. She told him 'not like this'. Christine had not even realized what she spoke. Had she told him to stop it would have been a lie. Nothing in her mind or body wanted for him to ever stop doing to her what he was doing. She just knew, however much enjoyment she would receive from the ecstasy of their lovemaking, she wanted it to be entirely captivating; not distracted by discomforts of their surroundings.
As she buttoned her blouse back up, she wondered 'what am I thinking'? She was speaking to herself as though she was planning having sex with Erik. Had she even made that decision? Yes. As much as she wished to be a good girl, she could not deny what her heart had decided. She loved him, wanted to be with him in all ways. Only her conscious was screaming at her brain, beating it with pointless arguments that there were proper orders to such events. Courtship, engagement, marriage must come first.
Christine smoothed her hair back into its clasp where it had fallen out in curled tendrils. She compromised with herself; at least two of the three prerequisites. If he asked her to marry him, she promised herself, only then would she give in to desire. She knew good girls waited until their wedding night, but she did not figure they would have a long engagement should he ask her so why make him wait. As innocent of the unknown realm of the bedroom as she was, her heart beat like a rabbit's when she imagined what Erik could do to the rest of her.
At last he returned, hair dripping down his neck, his shirt hung open over his black pants. He strode toward her, a vision of masculinity and mystery with his deep dark features accentuated by his mask and contrasting clothing. She felt her heart flutter again and knew she was completely captivated by him. He approached her awkwardly, searching for words to say that would ease the tension of the moment. They both knew what the other wanted and yet they were both at a stalemate. He did not want to push her farther than she would be ready to handle, and she did not want to seem like such a promiscuous girl.
Erik gathered up his blade and hers from the stone floor without a word, blowing dust from them both and wiping the steel along his pants to clean the remaining dirt from the edge. He handed it to her handle first, to be replaced in the sheath under her sleeve.
"You did well today," he said, unable to think of a more nonchalant remark.
"Thank you. I have a great teacher," Christine replied, grateful he was not going to address their amorous encounter.
He smiled at her, flashing his white teeth impishly. "Race you back?" he suggested, and before she could respond, he was already mounting his horse.
Christine raced after him, leaping onto the gelding's back and spurring it to a gallop with the heel of her boot. The powerful animal beneath her and the rush of the wind in her face was exhilarating as she chased Erik down the dusty path.