Chapter Seventeen: Date Failure 101
Disclaimer: Twilight will never be owned by me.
~ O ~
EPOV
I'm extremely sceptical about this afternoon. Emmett had rung me up last night and told me that he had been bored that afternoon on his day off. So he had planned mine and Bella's fifth date to be held this afternoon.
The conversation went something like this:
Flashback
The familiar tone of my phone vibrated simultaneously on my bedside table. I looked at the Caller ID, 'Em Stalks Ed'.
Righto. He really needs a new hobby other than stalking yours truly.
I pressed the green button. "Hey Emmett," I said in a bored tone. Let him think that I'm not elated that someone had called me.
"Dude don't use the bored tone on me. I know you're secretly elated. Get off your bed and do five star jumps right now."
How did he know where I was?
"You're not doing it."
I was dumbfounded. "How do you know/" I asked him slyly.
"Long or short version?"
"Short," I replied.
"Well in short, I have created a detailed map of the layout of your house from an aerial view. You know that chocolate cupcake I gave to you last week?"
"Yeah," I nodded.
"Well that totally had a mini tracking chip in it. So I now know where you are, and what room you are in if you're in your house. I can see that you're in your bedroom and that you're on the bed."
Oh my god.
Note to self: Never ever accept food from Emmett McCartney again.
"I should probably call the police on you," I playfully suggested to him.
"Nah wouldn't do that if I were you. I'm friends with the police chief. Guess who he is?" Emmett asked mysteriously. Where is he going with this?
"Your father?" I asked.
I could literally hear Emmett's wide grin. "Close dude, close; but no. It's Bella's dad."
Well holy roasted llama on a skewer. Bella's father is the chief of police in this part of Chicago. I was royally screwed.
"And I know for a fact that he would totally do a background check on you and give me the information. I am the ultimate stalker."
I let out a really loud sigh on the phone as my reply. The sigh caused Emmett to laugh uncontrollably.
"Well I had a reason to call. I have been bored today and decided to do a good deed. So guess what."
"Oh please don't tell me that you arranged for Bella and I to have lunch with her father."
"Oh my god! Epic idea! I should totally do that. Emmett McCartney, the family matchmaker. But no. I planned yours and Bella's fifth date. I've already talked to Bella and she was in, after much hesitation. I'm cooking a late afternoon lunch for the two of you for tomorrow afternoon. You have no say."
I loud sighed. "But you just admitted to putting a tracking chip in my cupcake last week. Why would I eat anything that you cook? You may put chloroform in it."
"Okay. I promise that I won't poison or tamper with your food in any way. I'll be good... this time."
"Well count me in. I'm excited for the date."
"Thanks dude. I have to go now. Rose and I were going to work on the interior upholstery for a new car. And after that we are going to test out that new upholstery if you catch my drift..." Emmett drifted off.
"Mental images are not wanted Emmett."
"Alright, suit yourself. See you tomorrow man. Around 4pm."
"Okay, bye."
I pressed the red button to end the call.
I really hoped that this date worked out. But with Emmett organising it I have no clue what the outcome will be.
End Flashback
I looked at my mobile screen to glance at the time; 3:11pm. I had roughly thirty five minutes to chill and stress before I had to leave to drive down to Bella's restaurant. Chill AND stress? More like stress. I do not chill. Edward Cullen does not chill when it comes to dates with Bella. Everything must be perfect for her.
I even use one of those lint brushes to gather off unnecessary and annoying little tiny white balls of fluff and lint on my clothes.
Stupid washing machine always leaves them on my clothes.
After I had made myself a cup of coffee, scalded my tongue by drinking said coffee too fast, and placed the empty cup in the sink, I looked at the wall clock this time; 3:33pm.
Oh come on. What's with the repeat of numbers? First 11 then 333?
But why is that I'm paying so much attention to the numbers? Gosh I act crazy when I'm impatient. Time seems to be racing against a snail.
And guess what. The damn snail is winning.
I decided to run a lap around my house, downstairs and upstairs. I then looked at my watch this time. Yes, I look at different types of clocks. Deal with it.
3:44pm.
Again with the double numbers, but I didn't mind because that means that I could officially leave in approximately one minute.
I had the biggest smile on my face as I grabbed my wallet and placed it in my back pocket of my jeans, my car keys and my black leather jacket before I locked the front door and practically skipped down the driveway towards my car.
And when I say 'skipped', I mean 'man-skipped'. Because I skip like a man.
~o~
I pulled into a car park spot perfectly at the back of Smeraldo. I had special privileges because I am dating the beyond-gorgeous owner. Got my own car park spot out back.
However I always enter through the front door because last time I went through the back door, I scared Emmett and he almost chopped a small chunk of Alice's hair off as she leant down to pick up a plate of food that was ready to be taken out to the customer.
She had a go at me with one of her 'Alice Rants'. I tried not to laugh.
So I walked in via the front door and was greeted by Jessica. She was nice. Yes, such a brilliant descriptive word I know. She didn't try and hit on me or stare at me as though she wanted to take a bite out of my arm.
Because believe me. I'm not that tasty. Unless...
Rose came up to me holding some kind of fabricy art decoration thingo.
"On the wall or over the chair?" she asked me.
Was she asking me where it would look best?
"On the wall," I replied.
Rose grinned and winked at me. "I knew you were the kinky type."
"What?" I choked. (AN: Sorry about this but please read the bottom AN after you finish the chap).
She kept grinning. "That's totally my subtle question to find out what kind of 'freak' you will be like when you and Bella finally do it. Most say over the chair? Which is totally not cool because I love chairs and the cushions always get squished in. The wall makes it more fun, especially when the guy is hectic strong. Bella has hit the jackpot," she chuckled at my facial expression.
Oh god. "Can you please lead me to Bella?" I pleaded.
Rose took my arm and guided me over to the far left corner, where Bella and I would be slightly concealed from the rest of the restaurant.
Ah, another perk of dating the owner of the restaurant.
As soon as I spotted Bella's deep mahogany coloured hair, she turned around as if she sensed me. She broke out in a smile as I neared.
I love her smile.
"Hey Bella," I said as I took her into a gentle hug and gave her a soft, chaste kiss on her lips.
"Hello Edward," she murmured against my lips.
Before we got carried away, I remembered that we were in her restaurant, granted we were kind of secluded, but still.
I pulled out her chair for her before I sat myself down in my own. My mum taught me right. And if I didn't be chivalrous, I'm afraid that she'll somehow find out and threaten to eat me.
"How is your day?" I asked my beautiful girlfriend.
"It was alright. Better now that you're here."
~o~
BPOV
God, can I get any more corny?
~o~
EPOV
After Bella and I talked lightly for ten or so minutes, Alice came to take our orders for drinks and meals. I ordered a Coke and a Mushroom Ravioli and Bella ordered a Ginger Ale and a Chicken Lasagne.
"Hey Alice. Is Emmett the chef today?" I asked Alice.
Alice giggled and nodded a yes in reply as she walked away.
Oh my god. I hope he doesn't put some date rape drug in my food like rufees. It would be like that movie 'The Hangover'.
"What's on your mind?" Bella asked.
I answered before I even thought to process my thoughts. "Date rape drugs."
Bella's look turned from happy to confusion. Oh my! She probably thinks that I'm planning on drugging her food. Crap!
"No no no! Not like that. I meant that I'm scared that Emmett will drug my food."
"Why would he do that?" she asked.
"No reason," I replied all shifty-like.
Bella giggled and Jasper arrived with our drinks. He winked at me as though he knew everything about me.
I must check and see if there is such thing as 'Google Stalk' because if there is, I bet that's where they're getting their information on me.
I'm such a paranoid complainer today. Geez.
Five minutes later our orders arrived and I tried to subtlety inspect my dish. However, Bella caught me.
"What are you doing Edward? Don't you trust my restaurant?" she teased me.
"No sweetie. I was just... admiring how the dish is plated up. The plate size is appropriate for the dish, and the garnish compliments the mushrooms."
I'm such a quick thinker. I should be a food critic, or go on MasterChef.
Either way, I'll be around food.
Okay inner monologue, shut up. You are on a date with Bella.
All of a sudden we heard a moderate 'bang' coming from the kitchen. Emmett proceeded to run out of the kitchen doors cradling his knife.
He had no eyebrows.
Well, this is awkward.
"What happened, Emmett?" Bella asked Emmett as she went from 'date mode' to 'restaurant owner' mode.
"Stupid gas oven blew gas all over my face," Emmett pouted.
"But we only have one gas oven to be used in emergencies. Why didn't you use one of the electric ones?"
"I was in a hurry and didn't realise?" Emmett stated, but it sounded more like a question.
"And did you keep on clicking the 'gas' button quickly in a certain amount of time?" Bella asked.
"Well yes."
Bella giggled. "Well silly. If you keep on clicking it so many times in a period of time, the gas will build up and then blow the gas outwards, often into the face of the person clicking the button."
Emmett stood there with his mouth open.
I piped in. "Are you aware that you have no eyebrows?"
Emmett then had a look of horror on his face. He ran back into the kitchen. We heard a scream that was a little girly, and then heard the back door to the kitchen close.
Thank god that the restaurant was relatively quiet today, and that no customers seem fazed by the commotion.
Alice slinked up to where Bella and I were standing by our table. "I'll just... call in Chef James."
Bella smiled and nodded.
Fifteen minutes later Bella and I were in the car park around the back of the restaurant near my car. Emmett's car was not in the car park.
I pulled Bella into my arms and laid my chin on top of her soft hair. "I love you in restaurant owner mode," I sighed contently. I didn't think about my words before I said them.
Bella stiffened in my embrace. Oh no.
"I love you in saving me from spider remote mode," Bella eventually replied.
I'm pretty sure my heart skipped a beat at that point. How corny of my heart.
I gently cradled her face in my hands. I lifted her chin so that I could look deeply into her eyes.
"I love you," I said, with hope evident in my eyes.
Bella didn't break eye contact when she replied back in a whisper. "I love you too."
I then may or may not have kissed her senseless.
Oh who am I kidding? I kissed her senseless.
~ O ~
AN: I got a PM the other day saying that this fic was nominated for the Best Title Grabber Award over at www(dot)vampyandwolfyawards(dot)webs(dot)com. I don't know who nominated the story, but thanks! I've never been nominated before. Make sure you check out the site. Also I've reactivated my twitter account and am now using it to keep people posted on my writing. So if you ever want to know which chapter I'm writing or story or how far along I am, follow me. I may even give one liner teasers. My name is xxtwilight7xx.
Chapter Eighteen Teaser: "