Authors Notes

Confused and not sure if or how I'm going to continue this story. I will try my best but would love any ideas or words of support, even if its criticism. It might help me get thinking and using my imagination more, please review I need your help.

Chapter 28 - Reflections

The day had been like any other day, the end of November was coming marking the beginning of the Christmas festive. But I couldn't feel any joy from this, I felt numb. I'd rose after a particularly hard night; I washed up, dressed and headed to the great hall in search of caffeine hoping it would give me the energy to get through the day.

Next thing I knew I was headed towards transfiguration, I looked up to see Harry walking beside me his head practically resting against his chest as he walked. I had an urge to reach out to him to see the glow of his eyes but deep down I knew the glow had gone, but as always I just couldn't bear the thought of touching anyone, even Harry, for very long. I knew he would never hurt me, but just the very thought sent me feeling nauseous.

I then felt the familiar little touch I received each day, that was just enough for me to endure. The squeeze of my hand was released and I knew he had left without even looking up as I walked through the doorway of my first lesson of the day.

I hardly noticed the beginning of the lesson; it was just a blur along with the rest of my day. But it didn't worry me, each day felt like this now. I left for supper hoping to allow myself to eat something.

Soon after managing a few mouthfuls of shepherd's pie I was on my way back to the common room, I looked again to my side to see Harry again walking with me. I was hurting him, I was hurting him so much, but my heart couldn't be sealed together enough for me to do something. I could sense the rattling of pieces inside of me that would never return together. It stung everything within me, I felt I had been thrown into darkness which I could never be pulled from.

"Goodnight." I heard his whisper and realised I was at the bottom of my dormitory stairs, I nodded slowly and went to make my way up them when I heard him speak again.

"Gin...I...I'm lost and I know you are too," he sighed. "I know things won't ever be the same but it doesn't mean we can't move on." I heard him say it as if I was watching from up above.

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something together." He hesitated.

"Together?" I murmured.

"Like flying, you love flying!" he tried to sound enthusiastic.

"I don't know." I heard the words coming from my lips.

"Could we at least try?" He persisted trying to sound soothing aswell.

"Can I think about it?" I heard my drone of a voice again.

"Er...sure...let me know." He let out a long breath before turning to walk towards to the fireplace.

I felt my body move as I made my way to my room. I dropped my bag on the floor as I entered, and grabbed some pyjamas on my way to the bathroom. Moving to the sink to wash and brush my teeth and I suddenly caught my reflection in the mirror. My real reflection, not my mask, what was left of my heart sank like a stone. This surely wasn't me. I leant down towards the sink splashing water over my face before returning to the mirror, but the reflection remained the same. Nothing had changed; the dark bags hung under my eyes, my skin looked like chalk, my eyes dull and void of any emotion and my once shimmering hair hung lifeless. What's happened to me? This isn't me. I'm supposed to be a fighter. How could I have done this?

The thoughts spun around in my head making feel dizzy as I dressed for bed, trying to contemplate what I was and had been doing. And I knew the answer, it was staring me in the face, piecing me with its gaze.

I was doing nothing but existing, I wasn't living anymore!

The answer had been stirring within me unable to break free and now here I stood tears rolling down my face dripping off my chin. Evil had prevailed, I'd let it, allowed it. It had won. No it was winning, but surely I could stop it, I had to! I thought as I climbed into my bed drawing the hangings around me.

But was I strong enough? I didn't know. More tears started to fall as I rested my head against the pillows, and I debated in my mind. And then a horrible thought struck me. I'd broken my promise, broken my word. I tried to think harder, trying to prove I hadn't but it was no use. My promise to Harry, that nothing would ever tear us apart, was destroyed.

That night I cried myself into a restless slumber, allowing part of my emotions released for the first time in weeks.

The cold shivered through my bones slowly turning them to ice, which then slithered into my organs. Stinging what was left of my broken heart. The damp cell echoed as droplets of water fell, the smell of rotten cabbages returning to my nostrils as I slowly opened my eyes to reveal the cell that held had held me captive at the beginning.

The pain in my wrists returned as I released I hung from them again encased in chains, my hair dishevelled with strands sticking to my dirt encrusted face.

All of a sudden the cell door was once again flung open revealing him, utter filth "Enjoying your stay?" he drawled from the doorway.

I didn't acknowledge that he had entered the room, never mind that he had spoken to me. His voice sent waves of disgust through my body.

"Not very talkative today Weasley!" He smirked, "I think I can officially say that I've won!"

Again I ignored his words keeping my eyes fixed to the floor as I tried to hold myself together in front of him. I couldn't show him the weakness he craved from, he couldn't win.

"You're broken Weasley, I won! You won't even let Potter near you anymore! He said triumphal, as he took my chin between his fingers forcing my eyes to meet his. "If you're not his anymore, you must be mine!"

"NO!" The words shot from my mouth so quick I didn't realise I'd spoken.

"No, I think you mean yes Weasley. You're pushing Potter away; you're hurting him worse each day. Our plan worked."

"What plan?"

"The plan to crush you both! Yes, we didn't manage to kill you before you escaped but everything seems to have worked out for the better."

"You're wrong."

"Am I?"

"Yes you are, I love him and he loves me."

"For some reason Weasley I just don't believe you, you're spirit's gone, you barely let anyone near you, and you dream of me every night!" He smirked, "I know you do!" He shouted into her face.

"Go the fuck away...I hate you! She spat viciously at him, trying to reveal her spark to him. "I hate you!"

He dropped my chin turning on his heel to leave the cell but he turned around again. He stomped towards me pushing the weight of his body against my bruised figure. A wave of nausea ran through my body as I squeezed my eyes shut in disgust, wishing to be anywhere but here. He brought his mouth to my ear forcing his breath to spread over my skin. I despised him for what he'd done to me, I wanted to kill him with my bare heads, I wanted to see the light leave his eyes never to return.

"Poor, poor Weasley, don't you get it yet?" He huffed, "You really are thick if you haven't worked it out yet." He brought finger tips up to my face making me wince before pulling the hair aside, and placing his hand against my shoulder. "You're the reason why 'you dream of me every night' you have the power to banish me. But you don't. Do you! You leave me here to revisit you night after night."

He took a step back looking me up and down again, "You're living in the past, your letting it control your life and guess what???"

"What?" I practically spat back at him as the tears I was holding threatened to fall over.

"I love it, Potter's whore causing her own suffering!" He laughed in my face. "But I bet you're all lonely in here with no-one to talk to and nothing to do. I might just be able to help you out there!" He grinned slyly as his hand moved down my body, holding onto my hips. The nausea shivered again through my body as fear took over my senses, knowing what I was about to be subjected to.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" I screamed as loud as I could muster, "Please...don't do this to me!"

"As I said to you earlier Weasley, you're doing this to yourself!" He smirked again as his hands started to rip the little fabric covering the last of my dignity.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Erupted from my dry lips, "Get off me...please!"

"Never!" He replied, lust thickening his words as his hands started making his descent.

"Harry!" I screamed, "Harry...please, help me!"

Ginny sat upright in her bed, a gleam of sweat covering her body, she tried to get her breathing and heart beat back under control as she pushed her hair stuck to her brow back. She sprung from her bed running towards the bathroom throwing ice cold water over her face. As she took in her appearance, Malfoy's words were still echoing through her head as she tried to make sense of them, and then it all started clicking into place, re-affirming her thoughts from earlier.

It's my fault...

I can't move on...

I'm not really trying to...

I'm living in the past, feeling sorry for myself...

And I'm pushing everyone away...

I'm hurting them...

Harry...

please review I need your help