AN - For all the loyal readers who have stuck through this story and reviewed or messaged me for an update.
I owe huge apologisies for the unreal lateness of this chapter/update my RL has been on overload, plus I've struggled so much with this chapter and have attempted to sit down many times to try and write it but the other night it all came to me. So here it is...
Chapter 30 - Together
She could feel the light penetrating the darkness, just that little bit illuminating her. Sending warmth through her icy cold limbs, comfort finally taking over her, reminding her of all the happy times in her life. Summers at the Burrow with her family, getting caught in the twin's pranks, her and Ron stealing cookies from the biscuit jar and getting caught with chocolate covering their lips but still denying they hadn't touched the cookies. Harry's first summer at the Burrow before she started Hogwarts, how happy and carefree he looked, spending Christmas with Sirius. Falling in love with Harry.
And now we had let ourselves become weak and lose hope, instead of leaning on each other and fighting together to rid the pain that enveloped within our bodies. We let it overtake us, consume us, this wasn't us at all! We knew how to fight, we knew how to be strong, we had done it most of our short lives.
Harry weaved among the students holding her body close to his as he strode down the corridor whispering comforting words into her ear, occasionally placing a delicate kiss to my head. "We're nearly there...your safe now."
She was allowing her mind effect her daily life, not pushing past and fighting the demons within her, but allowing them to consume her. Her first year of Hogwarts had been just as terrifying but there was so many blank spots in her mind from that time all those years ago, with only receiving information on what had happened during them times from others. However her capture had only allowed her one or two blackout periods, allowing all the terrifying things live within her. She would never forget the look within Harry's eyes; the hurt and helplessness were projected within his green orbs. As she got torn apart physically and emotionally, he had been torn to pieces inside and he still was.
Her limbs bounced gently with each step he took, moving farther and farther away from the curious and disturbed eyes that had once surrounded her. Everything apart from Harry's voice was becoming muted around her, the pounding of his footsteps barely heard as he moved along the corridors heading to a destination unknown to her as he cradled her head against his chest.
"We're almost there Ginny, won't be long now." He whispered continuously to her.
She opened her eyes to her surroundings as Harry ascended a spiral staircase which led to the astronomy tower. Higher and higher he climbed until they reached the top entering the main room and locking the door behind them. He moved towards the balcony area resting his back against the exterior stone wall still holding her tightly to his body as he slid down into a sitting position with Ginny cradled in his lap.
Neither spoke, just relishing the heat they shared together. The only sounds were their breathing and their hearts as they seemed to beat as one. He gently stroked her hair pulling it back from her face and forehead lightly placing delicate kisses to her brow.
The sky began changing colours of warm oranges and reds, becoming darker along the horizon and still they sat clinging to each other as if the other would suddenly disappear.
"I'm sorry." Ginny croaked into his chest, "I'm so sorry Harry." As he whole body started shaking.
"Hey...look at me Gin," he replied softly as he took her face between his hands looking her directly in the eyes. "You never and never have to be sorry for anything, ever! Why do you feel the need to apologise?"
"I...I just," She started as she looked down into her lap and back up to meet his eyes. "I just feel so different, like all the fight I had within me is gone. That I felt incapable of loving you anymore...the hurt I've cause you...the pain." She began sobbing resting her chin against her chest as the tears fell onto jumper.
"Ginny you need to understand this, and I think you do understand deep down that none of this is your fault and never will be...if its anybodies its mine...all mine!"
"But..." Ginny tried to interject.
"No please just listen for a minute, I need to say this and you need to listen." Still holding her face, brushing his thumb under her eyes brushing tears away. "He's after me Ginny, always has been and always will be until the end. I tried to keep away from you, tried to stop myself falling in love with you. I tried so hard...but I just couldn't, I could never stop loving you. And I gave in; I couldn't take it anymore more." Tears of his own started streaming down his cheeks, "I was so selfish, I knew how much danger you would be in if he found out my feelings for you and I still did it. I put you in danger...I did this you..."
"No...No you didn't Harry." She turned and held his face mirroring his image. "You're a teenage boy Harry, you've fought your whole life. So many people have been taken away from you and I won't be one of them. Not living your life Harry allows Voldemort to win!"
"But hasn't he already Ginny!" He suddenly stood up removing himself from her, "Look what he's done to us." He ran his hands through his hair taking a deep breath. "Look what they've done to you Gin...and that's because of me. Because you're a part of me and you always will be...that's why he used you like that, to get to me. To punish me, for revenge and to make me weak. I brought you into this mess and devastation with me. I've pulled you down into the dark, I'm making you suffer...I'm the one terrorising you!"
"YOUR NOT...please stop...please just stop!" Ginny raised her voice exasperatedly punctuating each word. She had never really considered all that Harry was saying to her. To busy mainly focusing on her and not really addressing the pain he was going through. "I'm in this world too Harry, my family are deep in this war, my family are your family too. Voldemort knows me too much, he knows my weaknesses and he knows my fight. And he knew how to obliterate it...this wasn't all about you Harry. This happened because of so many things, even if we hadn't fallen in love I was still a target."
"Before all of this happened I kept having them dreams them terrors, you helped me through many of them. Part of this was revenge, revenge and justification from the chamber of secrets. From my blood traitor family and the loyalty we show you, Dumbledore, The Order, everything Harry. With or without you, I fight for the good in this world. I fight for the ones I love and the ones that need protecting and I fight for you and always for you!"
She turned to face him, tears still streaming down each other's faces as their eyes connected, the only sounds were their breathing as they both took in what the other had just said.
Harry took a deep calming breath, "I just love you so much Gin, you're my family and seeing you the way you have been has been crushing me. You need to stop bottling all this shit up, it hurts that you can't talk to me. I feel just as helpless as I did then, but now I can reach you, hold you but you just wouldn't let me. And I totally understand that, but I'm here and you don't have to do this on your own." He spoke calmly.
"I know Harry." She confessed as she moved towards the balcony soaking up the last of the sun heat. "I looked in the mirror the other night after you asked me about flying, I hadn't seen myself in so long and when I did I got a huge shock."
Harry moved to stand next to her, matching her position. She continued, "The look in your eyes Harry almost killed me that day and I just didn't know what to do, what to feel at the time and after too. I fought so hard for us Harry, I really did." Her body began to shake again, "When they did that to us Harry, I tried again. I tried to fight!"
Her heart started to ache as the memory came back to the front of her mind. "Please Harry, you've got to believe me...I tried so hard to escape, to stop everything. But I couldn't and you couldn't. I remember looking around the room thinking this can't be happening to us, it just can't. The Order are going to burst through them doors any minute and save us, someone is going to come. I just need to hold on and keep fighting that bit more to give them time to get here." She took another shaking breath before continuing.
"Because I thought someone would come and none of this would happen and then...and then..." Ginny broke down, all the anguish, all the pain came flooding through her body as she fell to her knees. "And then it was too late and I finally realised no-one was coming, we were on our own and I couldn't take it anymore. I'll never forget the look in your eyes, never ever. I thought they were going to kill there and then. I know this is weak but I wanted to die in that time."
Harry was on his knees next to her, sobs wracking his body as he tried to hold her and comfort her best he could as she spoke. "I don't remember much after your eyes...it all seems a blur."
"When I woke, I was here but still I could feel the filth and darkness within me. It was unbearable having anyone near me and sadly that included you. I'm so sorry I couldn't be there for you, that I wasn't strong enough!"
"Shhhhh...Don't talk like that. I won't lie that it didn't hurt because you know yourself that it did but I understand why." Harry choked back.
"I'm so stupid, I let it consume me Harry. I still do, I'm existing and not living and that means he's winning and I won't let him! Not anymore, I can't continue like this. We shouldn't have to, we won't!" She said back fiercely looking him again in the eye.
He looked back and ran his gently behind her neck leaning forward lightly placing a kiss at the side of her mouth, as he started pulling back Ginny stopped him bringing her lips to his again and again.
"I love you Harry so much." As he wrapped his arms around her tiny body bringing them closer together.
"We'll do this Ginny, we'll get through this. One step at a time but stepping together." He whispered as he kissed her softly again, his cold body finally recognising the warmth of the women he loved. "I love you so much."
They stayed that way until the sun had set and the stars began to sparkle, finally being brought together. They had so far to go, so much healing and work to do but now they would do it together forever and they wouldn't give up until the end.
It started to grow cold and Harry's stomach began to growl as they decided it was time to venture back into the real world, battling it as one. Harry made his way to the day unlocking it and turning back to Ginny who still stood where they had just been.
"And!" She spoke with authority in her voice that resembled the old Ginny Weasley, "If I ever hear you blaming yourself for anything like this ever again...I won't be responsible for my actions. Do you hear what I'm saying?"
"I do." He replied with a small smile seeing the small fragment of the real Ginny shine through. He held out his hand for her and she placed her hand into his and took their first step together with many more to come.
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