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Next morning was not like the usual for Rachel, she woke up early but didn't do any of her exercise routine. She just laid in bed thinking about the lad she picked last night. She stayed there thinking about how to plan this, does he even want her back, the other 2 boys. She stayed in bed for about 2 hours before getting up. She ate cereal thinking about it, Brushing her teeth, getting ready, brushing her hair. She was thinking about this constantly. It cant be healthy can it? Rachel was so nervous she didn't know how to plan this, what to say to him, how he's going to react. All that Rachel knew for certain was... there's going to be heartbreak.
She got to school, and got hit by an ice cold beverage on the way to her locker, which she expected. She reached her locker pulling out some spare clothes and went to the girls toilets to get changed. Once she was ready she looked at herself in the mirror to check if her hair was messy.
'Why am I so nervous? Come on Rachel it's fine. I can't be nervous I mean if I'm nervous for this who knows what will happen when I'm in Broadway singing in front of thousands of people who have come from all over the world to hear me. No I'm not nervous because I can't be! I dated him I know him.' She shook her head from her pep talk then walked out of the toilets and went back to her locker shoving her clothes back into her locker.
RIINNGGGG!!
Rachel took a deep breath, stood up straight, head up high and walked to her first lesson, maths, which actually had the person she wanted to talk to in. Better sooner than later. Right?
She strode into maths trying to come across as confident when really inside she wanted to turn on her heels and run as fast as she could out of the door. As she entered her eyes met Puck's, who was sitting next to some other jocks, he tore his gaze from her with a disgusted look upon his face. Rachel scanned the whole room looking for a spare seat. There were none. Only one which was next to Jessie, who was giving Rachel death stares, and next to that seat on the other side was Finn, who was looking anywhere but at Rachel. She quickly took her seat pulling out from her bag her maths book, feeling suddenly nauseous. She tried talking to him but every time she opened her mouth she became every speechless.
'Rachel come on just talk to him. There's nothing to be scared about' even though she kept telling herself that she still couldn't seem to string a sentence. She couldn't talk to him because as well as that she couldn't speak was that the other 2 were breathing down her neck. They were so close to her. All of them were, Puck was directly behind her and Jessie and Finn where right beside her. She can't talk to him here, maybe after class? No he'll just walk away quickly trying to escape before she can catch up with him and talk. What can she do? He seemed pretty pissed off yesterday when she was singing.
The rest of the maths lesson went quietly. No-one talked to her apart from the teacher, which was kinda normal but not from Jessie, Finn or Puck, they usually talk to her about Glee or the maths. Finn was stuck on his maths and usually when this happened he would just ask Rachel how to do it but instead he raised his hand, first time in a while it actually surprised the teacher that he had his hand up. The class ended and like she thought he was the first to dash out of the class leaving her alone in the empty maths room. She doesn't know how to speak to him, he won't talk to her.
Lunch rolled in and Rachel still hadn't talked to him yet but she couldn't that was her shot and she missed it because form now till the end of school she doesn't have him in any of her lessons. Rachel entered the hall with her pink lunchbox and sat on the table which had Kurt and Mercedes on it.
"Hey guys" she smiled. She wanted to seem happy and cheerful, not like anything was eating her up inside. Or anyone.
"Hey...Rachel" Mercedes slowly said looking at her while she sat down next to her. "You ok?"
"Hello Mercedes and yes I'm fine thankyou. You?" she asked while unwrapping the cling-film from her healthy brown bread, with seeds, sandwiches which had salad filling.
"I'm fine"
"Good"
"Hey...Rachel" Kurt suddenly said seeming pretty awkward with her sitting with them.
"Hello Kurt how are you?"
"Fine you?" He dreaded asking that question because he thought she was going to crack and start crying talking about how she messed up with the 3 boys she liked and how she wants it to be like before, blah blah blah.
"Totally fine thankyou." Rachel smiled into her sandwich while looking opposite to Kurt, who was surprised she hadn't started crying.
"Well..." Mercedes interrupted the awkward silence that was lingering between all 3 of them. "...me and Kurt have to go now. Cheerio practice and all. See ya later." and with that Mercedes rose form her chair quickly giving Kurt a quick-let's-get-out-of-here-now look, which he responded to by rising from his seat.
"Bye Rachel" Kurt waved then linked arms with Mercedes and walked off talking.
'All by myself I guess' Rachel thought to herself while digging into her sandwich.
The rest of the day seemed to go really slowly for Rachel she couldn't concentrate in her lessons, she just kept think about the boy she wanted to talk to and how she would talk to him, how she would start the conversation. Last lesson ended and Rachel still didn't know how to talk to him, how to express her feelings to him. Glee. Wait she has Glee club with him. She'll talk to him then.
"Right don't worry just tell him that you want him" Rachel told her self quietly while walking down the empty corridors to the practice room. She reached the door and turned the handle to find all of the club there sitting and talking waiting for Mr Schue to arrive. There he was. The boy she picked, but also the boys who she went out with as well.
'Just ask if you could speak to him privately. That's it then tell him you want him.' she thought as she started walking into the room. 'Just smile and if he says no the just-'
"-Hey guys" Mr Schue smiled as he broke Rachel's train of thought. "No guys I have a little challenge I want you to do..." Rachel took her seat next to Artie and Tina. "...I want you to sing a song about how your feeling. Now when I say feeling's I mean deep emotional feelings not feelings about homework, Brittany" Mr Schue looked at her causing her hand to go down.
'I need to express myself' Rachel thought. "Mr Schue" she put her hand up. "Can I go first I kinda already have a song in mind" Mr Schue nodded making Rachel get up and walk over to the musicians asking if they could play a certain song, which they agreed to. She slowly approached the centre of the room facing her peers. Like she did before. When they all walked out after she ended. Her eyes fell on Finn, who was still looking anywhere but her. Puck, who gave her a disgusted look then turned to Mike and Matt and started talking football. Jessie, who... well he was still giving her death stares like he always does. She closed her eyes then the music started.
When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
When I dial the telephone
Nobody's home
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And loves so distant and obscure
Remains the cure
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
All by myself
Anymore
When I was young
I never needed anyone
Making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
Anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live
Oh
Don't wanna live
By myself, by myself
Anymore
By myself
Anymore
Oh
All by myself
Don't wanna live
I never, never, never
Needed anyone.
She had tears in her eyes, ready to come out at any moment. Doesn't he get the message by now?