Aww thank you for the reviews you lovely, amazing people. They made my day. :)
VoiceInMyHead: Hahaha. I nearly sprayed my coke over my laptop when I read your review. :P Well I can promise you there won't be any slashes. She's just going to chose one and only one. :) To be honest I don't know who it will be. I used to but now I'm not sure.
Heart attack. Feeling excruciating pain from your chest as your heart finds it hard to pump blood around your body. Definition of a heart attack: Damage to an area of the heart muscle that is deprived of oxygen, usually due to blockage of a diseased coronary artery, typically accompanied by chest pain radiating down the left arm or both, the severity of the attack varying with the extent and location of the damage. This is what Rachel Berry was going through that very moment. Minus the blockage or the diseased coronary artery, besides that, Rachel Berry was having a heart attack. Her chest suddenly killing her, she felt she had no control over her body. Arms weighing her down as if they were made of lead. Pain spreading through her body like a fire. Rachel was finding it hard to breath. To blink. Eyes prickling, from the lack of moisture, tears threatening to overflow. So it wasn't an 'official' heart attack, Rachel was suffering from her own style of it.
The Rachel Berry Heart Attack. Not deadly, but still painful.
"Rachel?" Jesse curiously asked as he noticed Rachel hadn't moved one inch, no, one millimetre, after her entering the door. "Rachel?"
She still wasn't answering. She remained silent. Neither Jesse, Finn nor Puck could bring her out of the silence that had over taken her. Neither of them. It was her dads. Hearing music being blasted, from their film, out of the speakers from downstairs. Rachel quickly snapped her head around, understanding the situation that had unfolded in front of her very eyes.
"So?" Jesse asked as he saw the brunette blinking violently, tears slowly leaking from the corners of her eyes. "Who did you pick?"
Even though Rachel was hearing his question perfectly clear, she still showed no acknowledgement to him. Rachel just stared at all three of them, after her blinking fit.
"Well I think it was me, to be honest." Puck added.
He said what?
Rachel snapped her head up, looking at Puck's face, confused smothering her face. Her action matched both Finn and Jesse's, as they looked at the jock in complete surprise at his conclusion. How could he come up with that answer? He didn't know how Rachel was feeling at the time. He didn't know how difficult it was for her to choose one and only one. Weighing pro's against con's, against others. Puck wasn't there when she made the list; he couldn't know what she was going through. How desperate she was so she let 'destiny' decide.
"Excuse me?" Jesse spoke first after Puck's assumption. "And just how on Earth could you possibly come up with an answer like that based on a pro and con list?"
"Well, Jesse." Puck snapped. "I'm not basing this on a pro and con list. I'm basing this on the fact that she skipped a lesson with me, which is totally something Rachel Berry would not do. She knew that skipping class with me, you would be alone with me. Why would she want to skip class with me unless she chose me? So, Jesse, I was basing my answer on that. Not a piece of paper." Puck announced.
"W-what?" Jesse asked. "You skipped class with him? So when you were on the phone to me, you were with him? Alone?"
"Yep." Puck smiled, answering Rachel's question for her. "Completely alone."
"Shut up Puckerman!" Jesse started to raise his voice slightly. "Well you know what? It doesn't matter because, Puck, it wasn't you she chose, it was me. I'm her boyfriend. I did leave my own team for her, which Rachel is fully aware of. Therefore, it was me she wanted to be with me and not you or Finn. Right Rachel?"
"What?" Finn asked, breaking his silence, leaving Rachel no time to even answer the question Jesse had asked her. Not that she was going to answer it. "You were her boyfriend Jesse. You're not anymore. You left her after the RJR video basically. You left her to go with your Vocal Adrenaline buddies. You left her. I didn't. I stayed; I told her that I still wanted to be with her. I didn't just get up and leave." Finn turned away from Jesse and faced Rachel, who was still quiet. "Rachel, you couldn't have chosen him. Or Puck. What about when we nearly kissed?"
'What about when we nearly kissed?' That question rang through Rachel's ears. Rachel may have looked like she hadn't taken any notice of Finn's question but really, inside, floods of memories were coming back to her from how he was so close to her. Finn knew it wasn't a 'conversation' he wanted to finish off. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to tell her what he felt. She knew it.
"You nearly kissed her?" Puck asked. "What the hell dude?"
"Hey, you got my girlfriend pregnant. Shouldn't you be chasing after her?"
"Look, the reason why I'm not going after Quinn, but Rachel, has nothing to do with you, Hudson. So mind your own business."
"Puck I don't know why you're here. She's not going to sneak out now is she? That's not the Rachel we know. Whoever you've created that's not Rachel so I think you need to go." Jesse took one step backwards. Spacing himself from the other two.
"What? Hey, look I still dated her. Just because I don't express my love the same way you two Casanova's do, doesn't mean I don't care for her does it?" Puck justified himself.
"Look, I think we need to stop having a go at each other." Jesse suggested. "That's why I said not to talk to each other earlier; we would be at each others throats. Like we are now."
"Urghh. You know what?" Puck walked straight up to the doorway, which was currently vacated by Rachel standing there, but after seeing Puck coming towards her, she walked to the side slightly. Waiting to see what Puck wanted to say to her. "I'm going to make it very easy for you Rachel." he told Rachel. "You can decide between them two because I'm out." and with that he breezed past Rachel and went downstairs, towards the front door.
No-one spoke until they heard Rachel's front door slam shut, after Puck left, then Jesse was the next to talk.
He too, walked up to Rachel, but instead of stopping to talk to Rachel, he just strolled straight past her saying: "Ditto."
Tears turning from just a single tear to floods, waterfalls. Rachel still didn't seem to have the ability to talk but she didn't need to. Her body language perfectly showed how she was feeling. Her head hung in shame. Only Rachel realised that there was still one boy yet to talk. One boy who didn't seem to talk much when the other tow were here, not as much as Rachel obviously. One boy who was freakishly tall. Rachel slowly lifted her head to see Finn standing perfectly still, like she did when they were squabbling. Finn looked like he was battling with himself whether to say something or not, his eyes fixated on a spot of carpet on the floor. Finally after many minutes of thinking Finn, too, lifted his head, meeting his eyes with Rachel's red puffy brown ones. He took deep sigh and approached the crying teenager, his hands in his pockets, hunched over. Rachel thought that he was just going to do what Jesse did, minus the 'Ditto', and leave her without a word. He didn't. He did the same as Puck. Stopping to talk to her. He turned to Rachel, towering over her, and opened his mouth slightly.
"Can you do one thing for me?" Finn asked.
Rachel was completely shocked at his words. He was asking her a question? Not what she expected. She was thinking more on the line of 'I can't believe you.'. Not requesting her to do something. Shocked as she was, Rachel nodded silently. She still couldn't seem to string a sentence together.
After seeing Rachel's nod, Finn continued. "Can you call me when the old Rachel gets back?"
There it was. Rachel was expecting something more like that and there it was. She knew him too well.
"Because she was cool, awesome and so much more. She was my friend. Girlfriend. Even though I treated her so badly, she still wanted to be friends with me and when I got to the position she was, Rachel was dating Jesse. I always tried to get her to dump him, which sounds horrible but it's because I cared about her. A lot. Old Rachel wasn't like you. She wouldn't of made a list of all the things that she disliked about you and wrote them down, using them as a reason why not to date them. She was cool like that." Finn paused taking in another deep breath. "So can you just tell me when she comes back? Because I'm in love with her."
After Finn's little speech, he made his exit, leaving a heartbroken Rachel alone in her bedroom. Alone with her thoughts. Rachel crashed on her bed, tears falling and soaking into her bed, with the make-up too. She couldn't care though. She was too upset, thinking of more important things, to be caring about her bedding. She could just put it in the wash, unlike her problems. Rachel so desperately wished her troubles could be washed away with her bed. Life would just be easier but life isn't easy. It isn't fair. Problems can't be washed just sorted. How could she treat them so badly? Leading them all on. Skipping class with Puck was definitely not the right thing to do. She lead him on, he came here to see if she wanted to sneak out. Rachel only skipped class to be closer to Puck. To become friends with him. Worked a little too well. She's not the sneaking around type. She shows up to her classes. Sometimes before it even starts.
Then there was Jesse. Why did she have to ask him to coffee? Why was she so forward with him? That must of lead him on. Asking your ex for a cup of coffee doesn't seem to say 'were just friends' to Jesse. He thought he was still her boyfriend. Definitely leading them on. Rachel was just supposed to be friends with him.
Finn. Finn's words had an impact on her, deeply. 'Old Rachel'? Had she changed that much? Was she no longer the 'Old Rachel'? Was she different? She didn't look it. She still wanted to go to lessons on time. 'She wouldn't of made a list of all the things that she disliked about you and wrote them down, using them as a reason why not to date them.' Was how Finn put it. Rachel didn't seem to understand that much. She didn't know if her old self would do that. She was so wrapped in 'The Plan' that she had forgotten herself. Was that it? She had forgotten herself? Finn seemed to remember 'Old Rachel'. He had been through a lot with her. He knew 'Old Rachel'. He loved her. Loved. What does that mean he doesn't love her? This Rachel right now? The Rachel that's bawling her eyes out on the bed. Why did she allow herself to be close to him? What if Kurt wasn't there? They would have kissed. Then Finn would have thought he was her boyfriend. So Rachel would have two boyfriends and one who thinks he can skip classes with her.
Why did she have to lead them on? Was she just so caught up in how she has all three on speaking terms with her again that she forgot about her only being friends with them first?
One things for sure.
Going into school next week is going to be awkward.
R-r-review. Finn parts were dedicated to those who want it to be Finn, I hope you liked it. :) Plus I love Finn. :P It doesn't mean he will be Finn. I promise that just because I'm in love with Finn doesn't mean that he will be the one that Rachel chose. I swear. My love won't affect the story. :P Good, Bad? Questions always welcomed. :)