Thank you for the suggestions:) They have been noted.
FREAKTONIGHT: Hahaha no you weren't being annoying:) I won't pick Finn just because I have a huge crush on him. Trust me:) I think I need to write this on every chapter, to make people be clear. I seriously don't know who it will be. I'm in the dark just as much as you are. For now ;) Hahaha well I think that shows how much I know about basketball :P
I DO NOT know who will be the guy. I'm just making it up as I go along. :) Trust me.
Thank you for the reviews:)
"Well done guys." Mr Schue applauded the three teens as they trailed back towards their seats. "That was certainly interesting. I could tell that there was a lot of emotion involved with that song."
Rachel was the only one who wasn't cheering them, just like they did to her. She was deep in her thoughts to even acknowledge them.
Wait a minute. No. No they can't act like this. How dare they? Yes, what she has done was upsetting for them but it's not as if they have not done anything bad to her. It's not like they haven't toyed with her emotions. Her dreams. Her hopes. Jesse stormed out of Rachel's house just for saying no, leaving Rachel upset and worried that he and her were over. He said sorry and she forgave him. Hadn't she apologized to him? Has he forgiven her? Finn used her. Playing on her one weakness, her vulnerability. He knew she liked him and he took advantage of that by trying to get her back into Glee so he could get a football scholarship. Finn apologized and she forgave him. Hadn't she apologized to him? Has he forgiven her? Noah, well if you think about it Noah was the only one who didn't play with Rachel's emotions. He didn't manipulate her feelings, take advantage of her. He was the only one who she had hurt but he hadn't hurt her. Noah didn't deserve what Rachel had done to him. Though Noah didn't really care that much. He said he cared for her and that he was done with her silly games but that was it. Yes, Jesse only said 'Ditto' but it was different. Jesse is like Rachel in that they both give out long big speeches or use, as others say, 'big words'. For Jesse to just say 'Ditto', it seemed that he was hurt inside. Rachel knew him too well to know that he was hurting inside. They shared a special connection. She knew Jesse.
"Anyone else?" Mr Schue asked.
Finn said he loved the old Rachel. Jesse was hurting inside. What was Noah? Was he hurting inside? Did he love the old Rachel? Was he feeling something else? Noah had not made clear what he was feeling. He's kept it all away from her. Was he bothered? Was he just singing that song because the others were singing it? Or did it have a meaning? Wait no. She has apologized to all three of them and they haven't accepted it. What more do they want from her? She can't do anything else.
"Anyone?" Mr Schue asked again.
Maybe they just didn't understand. Well what can't you understand about 'I'm sorry'? Though she only did text them her apology. It was the only way for them to know she was sorry. They wouldn't speak to her. They wouldn't even look at her. Every time she tried to stop them and talk they would just walk even more faster to get away from her. Texting I'm sorry isn't enough. It's just a pathetic way of saying sorry. It shows that you don't care about their feelings by saying sorry over the phone. You don't understand 'sorry's' meaning. They didn't know she was sorry. They didn't know she wanted to take back every little thing.
"Ok well…"
She has to show them she was.
"…tomorrow hopefully we will have some more performances to sho-"
"I have another Mr Schue." Rachel interrupted him.
"Rachel?"
"Yes. I have another song, well two; it's more of a mash-up that I wish to sing. If that is ok with you?"
"Yes yes that's fine I guess. I mean no-one else has a song."
"Thank you." Rachel rose from her chair and quickly walked towards the piano. She whispered something into Brad's ear then approached the centre of the room. As the music started, Rachel took a deep breath. "Now I would just like to say that this is an acoustic version on two songs. Bon Jovi Misunderstood and Christina Aguilera Hurt. I hope that in this mash-up you understand my feelings and the true message to this song."
"Ok. Very nice Rachel."
Should I? Could I?Have said the wrong things right a thousand timesIf I could just rewind, I see it in my mindIf I could turn back time, you'd still be mine
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there.
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you.
Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, ooh.
You cried, I triedTo stretch the truth, but didn't lieIt's not so bad when you think about it.
I stumbled like my words, did the best I coulddamn, misunderstoodIntentions good.
"Brilliant Rachel." Mr Schue applauded as me smiled at the troubled teenager.
The school bell rang meaning end of school, end of Glee, the Glee clubbers filed out, Rachel stayed. She couldn't face them right now. It wasn't just them three, its everyone. Cheerios, jocks, slushy's, happy people. Anyone. Anyone smiling, anyone laughing. Just anyone really. Rachel couldn't face people who were happier than her right now. How could she? She felt like…well that's the thing, there isn't a word to describe how she is feeling it's that bad. Until now, Rachel could never really relate to Quinn. Remembering how she and Rachel talked after Finn finding out about babygate. How Quinn said she had hurt so many people. Rachel could never really understand properly how she was feeling. How much she just wanted to give up, until this. Until it was her turn to hurt people. To hurt herself. Now she understands. Now she can relate. How did Quinn get over this feeling? How did she get back to her normal self? Rachel knew. She knew what she would have to do to find out. However, in the process, she's going to have to share her troubles.
Rachel rushed out of the practice room into the corridor in search for one individual. Scanning frantically through the crowds, that were exiting the building, she found them. "Quinn!" Rachel called from the other side of the corridor. The ex cheerio turned her head at the sound of her name to see a brunette waving her hand while making desperate facial expressions.
"Rachel?" Quinn started to make her way towards Rachel. Brushing against students, going against them, finally she reached her. Giving Rachel a confused face, Quinn followed her as Rachel lead Quinn towards a more quite and secluded classroom. "Rachel what do you want?" Quinn huffed as she sat down on one of the desks.
"Quinn I need to talk to you." Rachel answered as she walked over to the desk next to the blonde-haired girl.
"Ok. Then talk."
"I…well you see…I wanted…"
"Rachel I do want to get home you know."
"Well I just wanted to ask you something…something about babygate."
"O…k."
"Well…" Rachel took a deep breath before asking her question. This is going to be harder than she thought. "Remember when you and I were talking, after Finn found out,…about how you have hurt so many people?"
"Yes."
"Well you were pretty distraught over the whole thing and I was wondering…how did you get over it as such?"
"Oh." Quinn sighed as she turned to face Rachel fully on. "Is this about Jesse, Finn and Puck?"
Rachel shot her head up. "W-what? How did you know?"
Quinn smiled at Rachel's question. "It was so obvious Rachel. I knew something was going on between you four. You were singing one song about being on your own then the next about being sorry, while the guys sang that song about no more chances and stuff."
"Oh. Well I just want to know how did you get over being depressed?"
"Rachel, what's going on?"
"Quinn…" and that's where Rachel fell apart in front of Quinn. She started to cry and her head collapsed into her hands. "I've messed up. I've hurt all three of them. They hate me and I just don't know what to do. I just want it back to the way it was like before. When they actually liked me. When they didn't think horrible thoughts about me. Quinn help me. Please. You're the only one I know who knows what I'm going through. Please Quinn. Help me. Help me."
"Whoa." for once Quinn was speechless. She just saw Rachel Berry, the Rachel Berry who always seems to have it all together, break down in front of her. Her. Quinn. "Ok. First Rachel you have to stop crying. You're no good to anyone when you're crying. Ok? Then tell me, from the beginning, what happened. What happened for them three to hate you as you're saying?"
"Ok." Rachel lifted her head to face Quinn who smiled sympathetically at her. "Thank you Quinn for helping me." Rachel half smiled at her as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
After Rachel told Quinn all about the list and choosing only one boy, she didn't tell her who, that she was going to keep to herself, but then deciding to make friends with all three, which was only leading them on. How they found the list. "And that's why they sang that song, that's why they hate me and that's why I'm here asking you for help."
"Oh God. Rachel you've really screwed up. I'm sorry but you have. I mean leading all three? Rachel I thought that even you knew that they want more than friendship from you. No way would you have become friends with them when they want more. Rachel seriously, I thought you were smarter than that."
"I know. I know better than to mess with people's feelings like that but I just wanted them to talk to me. They hated me after the Run Joey Run video but they hate me even more now."
"Well there was your first mistake Rachel. You played them off each other. You had them eating out of your hand. They were your puppets and you abused your power over them. I mean no wonder they hate you now. Look Rachel, I know you meant well but your actions were wrong."
"I know but how can I get them at least talking to me again?"
"Rachel, they hate you but deep down, underneath all that hate, they still want you. I mean they did ask you who you chose because they wanted it to be them. Look, I don't think you can get them to talk to you again and let it go back to normal, but instead of getting them all to talk to you again, why don't you just focus on the one you chose. On the boy, you want to be with. At least one might talk to you again. If you tell them, it was him that you chose. Not the others. Him and that you want him and no one else."
"You really think I could get him to talk to me?"
"There's no guarantee but it's worth a shot. All three really like you and I bet that if you told them it was only him that you want to be with then I'm sure he will forgive you. Even Puck would. He would have dated you if you just asked him. He has a soft spot for you, Rachel. Finn just wants you end of. Jesse, well Jesse is like a male version of you Rachel. Both of you are as dramatic and annoying as each other."
"Ok." Rachel jumped up from the desk and brushed down her clothes then looking back at Quinn. "Thank you Quinn. You helped me a lot."
"Its ok and good luck."
Rachel was by the door when Quinn wished her good luck; she smiled at her and left. Rachel hadn't felt so determined and pumped in her whole life. While walking down the empty corridor Rachel knew what she had to do. Rachel got into her car and started the ignition. She reversed out of the car park and drove.
This was it.
'I bet that if you told them it was only him that you want to be with then I'm sure he will forgive you.'
Rachel wasn't going home.
R-r-review:) Good, bad? Thank you Emily Mayers & Emily for you're suggestions on the songs:) Very much appreciated. I've decided to make the next chapter the last. Also I'm taking votes to help me decide who the guy Rachel chose will be. Just review and tell me.