Chapter 3: At This Very Second
Author: Snooglez
Disclaimer: I don own anything
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: A/Eva , M/R reference, A/M eventually.
AN: Okay folks… I lied…kinda. I said it wouldn't end happy but it just might. The first two chapters were kinda depressing so here's one that is easy on the heart. lol This chapter is just Summer and Marissa going out to find Alex. Marissa wants to make amends, and has hopes of renewing her relationship with Alex, but she doesn't know if Alex even wants anything to do with her.
It's kinda mostly Summer and Marissa, but I'll deal with Marissa and Alex a bit later, probably next chapter.
…
A couple days had passed by, and Marissa never craved Alex's presence so intensely until then. She didn't know why she had this bursting need just to see her. Maybe it was because she'd just seen her for the first time in 2 years with another girl, and that jealous edge she'd taken on was spurring on her motives like a flame to a paper.
She needed to see Alex again. She'd never rest peacefully until she could. Marissa turned her head over and glanced over to the clock… it was 2:13 am.
"Fuck." She whispered moving again to lie on her back. She stared at the ceiling not noticing Summer's dark silhouette shift slightly to watch her. She'd assumed the dark hair girl was sleeping after the night's events. Marissa had invited them to just hang out at her house, but it had developed into a full blown sleepover after a couple comedy flicks and indulging in some mild conversation doused over with a few sips of heavy liquor.
"Why can't I just let it go?" She whispered again to herself.
"Well I hope you let it go soon, 'cause I'm trying to sleep." Summer spoke up casually.
The taller girl jumped; alarmed that Summer was still awake.
"Sorry." She muttered emotionless.
"It's okay." Summer sat up and looked down at her friend. "What I wanna know is what's on your mind. You've been tossing and turning like you've been having nightmares. What's up?"
Marissa being hesitant is she should burden her friend with this new found information, allowed a few seconds to run by before answering.
"Alex." She stated simply.
Summer nodded in the dark. Even though it was just her name, she understood quite clearly what it was Marissa was telling her, and the intent on how deeply it was affecting her. Summer had watched her friend travel to hell and back the first year after she broke up with Alex. On some occasions Marissa would suffer from meltdowns and violent out bursts, some situations involving alcohol… others not. She would clam up and never come out her room for weeks on end, drowning in endless guilt, self pity, misery, and more alcohol.
Julie, being the heartless bitch that she was, didn't see anything wrong with her daughter other than wanting attention as far as she was concerned. Summer knew it was much more than that, no matter how much Julie denied or believed.
So at night Summer would creep up into Marissa's room, pry the empty bottle from her trembling fingers, and cradle the sobbing brunette in her arms, watching as she cried herself asleep and cry herself awake. All in all, Summer had took her hand and patiently strayed her away from the darkness. While almost a whole later she watched her return back to a normal life, and intended on Marissa to keep it that way.
That's why she was a little uneasy to find out that Marissa had seen and talked with Alex at the county fair a couple days ago. Marissa was so happy, but she'd noticed it definitely bothered her to see Alex had in fact moved on…or so she thought.
"Aw, Coop… don't get like this on me again. Some things you just have to let go. You're going to worry yourself sick." Summer assured while stroking her shoulder.
"I know, I know. That's why I need to see her."
The shorter girls face wrinkled into a frown that questioned Marissa's reason as the taller girl pushed herself off the bed and reached for her jeans on the floor.
"Huh? It's two in the morning! Where the hell are you going!"
"Sshh! I don't want Seth or Ryan to wake up. I have to find Alex." She finished pulling the tight denim garment over her hips.
Bewildered, Summer scrambled out the bed after Marissa reaching out and catching her arm.
"Coop wait. What the he-"
Marissa turned around to stare down her friend, brows raised in a questioning manner.
Summer sighed heavily, too tired to further reconcile the matter at hand. Instead she let go of Marissa's hand, and rolled her eyes.
"Let me get dressed."
Marissa grinned. "I'll go start the car."
…
The two tip toed out of the house, and into the car. Summer eyed Marissa suspiciously as she backed out of the drive way.
"Okay. What exactly are you going to accomplish with Alex at two in the morning? I mean, are we forgetting that she moved out like right AFTER you two snipped the string? We don't even know where she lives anymore." Summer pressed with the idea that her friend was on drugs not seeming too far fetched.
"Chill Sum. I know exactly where she is."
The smaller girl shot her a questioning, but frustrating look. Marissa saw this at the corner of her eye and looked back at her ready to reply.
"What! Don't give me that face." Marissa laughed.
Summer lifted a finger to point at her face. "No I think I will give you this face because I think you left your sanity back in those ten dollar jeans you wore to the County Fair." She finished referring to the first time in two year Marissa had seen Alex.
"I'm not crazy Summer! Just, I dunno… in love, I guess." Marissa confessed shyly.
Summer couldn't retract the smile that pushed the corners of her lips upwards after her friend's meek confession. The taller girl was blushing whether she acknowledged it or not.
"So you mean you couldn't of waited the next day to tell her whatever it is you wanna say?"
Marissa knew she actually could have waited, but it would've picked at her all night. "No. I have to catch her tonight. I don't know where she'll be tomorrow."
"What's so special about tonight?"
"You know Kate right?"
"Kate…?" Summer drawled off her tongue, mind searching but not bringing a face to the name.
"You don't remember Kate! How can you forget Kate!"
"I dunno!"
A smug grin tipped the ends of Marissa's lips. She was going to have fun reminding Summer of a very embarrassing incident involving large quantities of alcohol. Alex and Marissa never quite told her all the details about what happened that night.
"Let me remind you of the time we were at the Bait Shop having a girl's night out, and I invited Alex to come too. Alex had invited Kate…"
Summer nodded, still wholly oblivious.
"They were almost a half hour late, so you figured you'd start without them and order drinks. You went a teeny bit over board with the liquor." She explained, emphasizing by bringing up her hand and leaving a small amount of space between her thumb and index finger.
"Okay I remember that part." Summer spoke trying to recall all of her thoughts that lead up to what Marissa was trying to ger at.
"Then when they walked in…" Marissa snorted before she bursted into laughter before she could finish her sentence.
"What!"
Marissa couldn't stop snorting from the laughter she was holding in as she strived to finish the story.
"We were sitting down at a table. Then when they walked through the doors you and all your drunken glory, knocked over your drink to grab my shirt and yelled in my face spitting alcohol all over the place 'Oh my god! Why didn't you tell me Alex knew Michelle Rodriguez!"
Summer's jaw dropped as realization emerged. "What! You liar! You and Alex both! You guys told me I passed out and that's why she thought I was such a weirdo! Coop you are SO dead when you stop this car!" Summer exclaimed loudly drawing her hand into a fist to hit her friend in the arm.
"Ow!" Marissa half laughed half replied. "Quit it I'm driving!"
"When we find Alex, remind me to give her hers." She threatened bringing the other fist to the side of Marissa's face.
"Oh Michelle, I love all you movies!" Marissa imitated Summer in an annoying squeaky high pitched voice.
Summer went wide eyed. "I did NOT sound like that!"
Marissa turned to give her friend a look of disbelief. "You so did. Are we forgetting that you were drunk?"
"Right." Summer huffed loudly. "She probably still thinks I'm a complete dumbass."
"Are you kidding? She totally loved you. You were the humor of the whole night."
"You mean the laughing stalk and the village idiot of the whole night." She added.
Marissa grinned. "I know. No matter what we said, you still believed you met Michelle Rodriguez all night long."
"Ugh… god I'm such a nerd!" Summer placed her head in her hands utterly mortified.
"And then…" Marissa began again to tell more of the story.
"Alright, point taken!" Summer interrupted her in mid sentence her hands flailing up in aggravation. "What were you saying about Kate?"
"Oh, right. Um, I called her to ask about some jeans I could have ripped so I don't need to drop by the store to buy hundred dollar jeans already ripped, when I could just take them to her for free. We started talking and stuff, when the conversation drifted off onto Alex. She told me Alex was going out with her half sister, Eva."
"Uh huh…"
"Then I was like… 'How is that going?"… she said they were okay and told me they were going to this big party on Shoreside. It's John Fuller's party. Supposedly he has this punk band, and they're throwing a big party just to show themselves off for fan base." She explained.
Summer's face scrunched up in disgust. "What! John 'Funky' Fuller from 6th grade! That guy who use to smell like walking athlete's foot! Geez he was such a loser…and a jerk too. He'd always stand right behind when I'd be eating in the cafeteria. Then he'd reach out over me and stick his finger in my mashed potatoes." She added pretending to gag.
Marissa grinned and sighed heavily. "Aah good times…"
"Whatever. Remember you didn't have stinky boy chasing you around. Good times my ass." She mumbled causing Marissa to laugh again at her expense.
They finally pulled up to shoreside, and Marissa eased the car into a tight parking spot, and turned off the car. She pushed back, relaxing into the plush of the car seat. They sat in comfortable silence as a few minutes passed while Marissa mentally prepared to face Alex again for the second time since they broke up.
"What's the big news you have to tell her? It must be important if you'd drive out here this late at night."
Marissa turned her gaze towards Summer who played with the strap of her purse. She watched her small fingers twiddle around the leathery material thinking it should be her anxiously picking at things to pacify her twitching nerves.
"I don't know what I'm gonna say honestly."
"Wait… you don't even have a plan?"
Marissa shrugged.
"Okay so this wasn't even an emergency!" The darker brunette squeaked.
Marissa threw her a look to shut her up, and tugged on the car door to get out.
"Alright! Geez… I mean I could see if it was some big thing you have to tell her like "Hey you're the mother of my child" or something but you don't even have a game plan." She complained as she let herself out of the car.
…
They walked up to the still roaring crowd as the sound of a revving guitar blazed out of huge speakers. The shoreside was pretty packed even though it was pushing three in the morning. About a ways down from the stage there was a bonfire with a pretty good amount of people scatter around it. There were also people and couples scattered elsewhere on the shoreside.
"Wanna split?" Marissa asked, quite uneasy of her own request.
"Are you insane? I'm sticking with you. These people are already drunk and crazy and me being as scantily clad as I am in a skirt and a strap nightie top… don't wanna get hit on by some freaky punk guy with who had his penis pierced just for looks."
Marissa shook her head at her friend's silliness and proceeded to comb through the crowd to see if she could spot Alex or Eva.
Summer squinted her eyes to tiny slits. "Wait… I think I see Alex over there by the fire, with that girl in her lap." She pointed.
Marissa's eyes followed Summer's finger to spot the blonde sitting in the sand with Eva in her lap. She watched with envious eyes as they shared a beer together.
Summer looked on and cringed as Alex's fingers traveled half way up the other girl's top, stopping midway. Eva was giggling as she pushed the blonde's hands away. She knew Marissa had her heart set on trying to talk to Alex about what she could only think of as trying to win her back somehow.
"I think we should go now…" Marissa breathed, her spirits defeated after how happy she saw they were together. She started to walk back to the car.
Summer huffed sauntered behind Marissa and pushed her forwards, her heels sliding easily in the dry sand. "Coop! Don't just stand there and let Eva vive la vida loca with your Alex. Get over there and talk to her!"
"Summer… look at them. You know there's not chance in hell Alex is going to wanna even think about being with me anymore." She turned around to face Summer going more and more upset by the second. Her face was depressing and eyes were vacant as she recalled their break up. "I hurt her bad Summer…real bad." Marissa confessed then pausing to swallow the lump in her throat.
"I pushed her away, and that's just where she went." She spoke her voice trailing off into a whisper.
Summer took her hand and stroked it soothingly. "You don't know that for sure." She reassured.
Marissa's eyes welled over with tears. "Yeah, but that's what I feel."
"Aw don't cry Coop. You don't wanna let her see you cry do you?"
"I'm not going over there." She warned.
Summer brought her hands up to wipe away her tears that had already fallen. "Yes you are. And you wanna know why?"
"Not really." Marissa replied flatly.
"I'm gonna go over there and distract Eva away from her. You're gonna plop your ass right there beside her and tell her she's the only thing on your mind since you met her and that you want to see her again."
"No. I can't." Marissa refused wiping more tears from her eyes.
Summer placed both hands on her shoulders and leaned closer. "Yes you will, and yes you can." Summer insisted. The darker brunette started to walk towards the bonfire.
"I'm going now, and you better be not too far behind. If I distract her and find out I'm busting my girl balls for nothing… it'll be your ass Marissa Cooper!" She shot back not caring that she just yelled 'girl balls' at the top of her lungs in a crowd of people.
Marissa watched on as Summer carried out her mission.
…
"I'm so tired." Alex claimed as she rested her head on Eva's shoulder. She really was exhausted after moshing for a full 3 hours. Her hair was all over the place, and she reeked of beer from some idiot's spillage.
Eva laid back into Alex's hold. "Want me to take you home?"
When Alex lifted her head up again her eyes locked onto the familiar girl form a she marched toward them dead ahead.
"Summer?"
"Hey Alex, and... Eva right?" Summer gestured towards the other girl.
Eva nodded puzzled at to how this girl had come to know her name.
"Yeah. I'm sorry… do I know you?" Eva queried.
Summer let out a nervous laugh. "Uh, no."
Alex and Eva sat there starring at Summer, while Summer fumbled on what to say next.
"But I have some questions to ask you about your sister though. She knows me." She blurted out.
Eva arched and eyebrow at her sister's name. "Kate?"
Summer leaned down towards the mystified girl. "Yeah, uh no offense to Alex or anything but… could we walk? It's kinda important and I wanna talk to you… alone." She whispered faking to be discreet about absolutely nothing.
Eva looked back at Alex who was just as bewildered as she was.
"Uh…Sure. Yeah." Eva decided as she lifted herself from the ground.
"Nice to see you again too Summer." Alex shouted as they walked away wondering what she had to discuss with her girlfriend.
Summer turned around to wink at the blonde much to Alex's surprise.
…
Marissa watched as Eva and Summer gained good distance away from Alex who sat in the sand by herself sipping on what was left of her beer.
Giddy as hell, Marissa forced herself to walk over. With each step she could feel every emotion in her mind surface and then slowly ebb away. She didn't know what to feel whether it was to be scared, happy, or cry again. It seemed like she wanted to do all of these things at once.
She tensed up when Alex spotted her, unable to move. Alex saw her stop in her tracks.
"Fuck." She cursed to herself as Alex started to get up and approach her.
Marissa just stood there feeling as if she was going to faint from all the adrenaline coursing through her veins.
"Marissa. I didn't know you and Summer liked these kinds of parties. They don't really suit you." Alex noted as strolled up to Marissa.
Marissa could only stare into Alex's sapphire eyes feeling as if she was melting into a puddle. She opened her mouth to reply, but found that Alex had rendered her speechless. It wasn't the first time.
Alex eyed her oddly and came to a conclusion as she gazed into Marissa's eyes.
"Marissa, have you been crying?"
Marissa immediately snapped back to reality slightly embarrassed. "Um… no."
Alex nodded not believing her. "Really. Your eyes are all red and your face is all flushed."
"Allergies." She lied. "Listen, I know you might not want to, but I need to see you again. We have to talk."
The statement had caught Alex off guard. It was what she wanted though… a chance to talk to her again after two hard years of trying to get over her. Two hard years of picking up the last pieces of her broken heart. She didn't want to say yes, but didn't want to say no either.
Marissa instantly sensed the resistance in Alex's response and instantly covered herself.
"To catch up on stuff…I mean."
"Okay." Alex replied immediately afterwards. "Sure." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pen. Then without warning took Marissa's hand in her own. It was something so small that she'd missed so much… the feeling of Marissa's skin on her own whenever they'd hold hands. A privilege she'd had when they were together. Now after two years it was kind of an off limits thing.
She had Eva, and Marissa had Ryan.
"Here's my new number."
Marissa let out a giggle as the tip of the pen rolled across the sensitive side of her hand finding it hard to keep still. Even after two years in a matter of a couple minutes they'd felt so comfortable in each other's presence despite the circumstances.
"Hey keep still the 3 just dragged way across your hand."
"I can't it tickles." Marissa smiled.
"Well looks like I'm gonna have to start all over again." Alex claimed her lips spreading into a wide smile. Alex knew really it was just an excuse to hold onto Marissa a little longer. For two years she longed for the day she could touch her again.
"Where you gonna start?" Marissa challenged.
Alex contemplated on whether she should allow the pen travel further up her arm, but she couldn't continue this flirting with her. She couldn't let her grasp her heart like she did two years ago. She didn't think she could take the heart ache. She wasn't strong enough for something like that to happen again.
So she decided to keep distance between them.
Marissa watched Alex's smile shy away from her lips. She then reached for Marissa's other hand and hurriedly scribbled her new phone number on it.
"Thanks."
Alex faked a smile and started back towards the bonfire. "Your welcome. It was nice seeing you again."
"Yeah. Bye."
"Bye."
Neither one of them really wanted to say goodbye.
One girl too stubborn to fall back in love with the woman who'd crushed her heart.
One girl too afraid to repair the damage that had been done, that she had caused.
…
Meanwhile Summer and Eva were traveling up and down the shoreline. Eva listening intently at a couple of embarrassing high school moments.
"…so then I bent over and the entire ass of my jeans ripped open!"
Eva was beside Summer keeling over in laughter.
"You are so funny!" Eva sniffled wiping the tears from her eyes.
"That's not even the funny part, okay… Britney Miller was laughing her ass off, no pun intended, and I wanted to kill her for ripping my jeans that way and so…"
Alex came up behind both of them cutting Summer off from further conversation. "Summer, Marissa's waiting for you."
"Okay. Nice talking to you Eva."
"Hey Summer, you think we could hang out some time?" Eva asked while taking Alex's hand in her own.
Alex and Summer gave each other 'what the hell' looks and then turned to Eva that was already whipping out her cell phone.
Summer didn't know if she should like the idea of being friends with the enemy. "Okay." She replied with a bit of hesitation before punching in her number into the keys of the phone.
'Well I'm just being nice. It's not like I'm really gonna hang out with her.' She thought handing her back the phone.
"Well, I'll see you guys later." Summer started as she walked back over to the car. Then she remembered something.
"Alex wait!" She ran up behind the couple and in front of Alex.
Then haughtily stuck her chin in the air, and smug grin on her lips before declaring: "Oh, and this is for lying to me…" afterwards quickly punching Alex in the arm, and running away back towards the car. It wasn't too hard of a punch, but it stung a bit.
"Ow!" Alex yelped while bringing her hand up to soothe the dull pain. Summer was already half way to the car.
"Lying about what!" Alex yelled over the crowd.
Summer turned around to yell back. "I'll call you!"
"She's so weird, but so funny." Eva grinned.
….
Ending Note:
I know it's been long…and yes it has, four months to be exact. You guys don't have to forgive me. wink
Please R&R. Oh and sry for any misspellings or weird jumbled phrases.
Luv you guys! Mwahz!
-Snooglez