Chapter 6: Chaos Theory
Author: Snooglez
Pairing: Just read… they change sumtimes.
Disclaimer: I DON OWN ANYTHING
…
Marissa opened the door to her house, Summer waltzing in behind her. Ryan pushed himself from the couch to meet her before she could even lay three steps onto the floor.
"Where were you?" He questioned eager to know of her previous whereabouts. Marissa swayed backwards a couple steps. Ryan was invading her space heavily. He was so close to her, like he was willing to catch one whiff of another man's cologne. It was all in his head, but as he waited for her return, his thoughts spiraled into complete foolishness.
Marissa smirked, and breezed by him. "With a friend." She breathed merrily.
Seth and Summer shared a look, watching Ryan and Marissa slip back into their ways.
Ryan's eyes watched her lead off, growing both impatient and annoyed. He followed behind her, irritation burning in, wanting to her to grasp a more specific answer. Marissa nearly skipped into the kitchen, enjoying the menacing state she was pushing Ryan into. She gingerly dropped her purse onto the counter, spinning around to grab the handle of the refrigerator.
Ryan stood in the way of the fridge door, his hand lashing out to catch it's opening before it swung fully open. Now there was a small gap, not nearly enough to squeeze an arm in. Marissa retracted her hand, and Ryan abruptly shut it in her face. She jumped back, startled at his actions.
Ryan's sharp gaze never left her. "Why are you always doing this?" His arm rested on the fridge door creating a block for any type of escape.
Marissa's act faltered. "What the hell is wrong with you? I said I was with a friend!" She spat out, outraged at his behavior. "You're not my fucking mother so stop interrogating me!" She briskly swiped his arm off the freezer door, making a beeline for her bedroom.
Ryan wouldn't let up. He kept right on her heels. "Just tell me where you were Marissa!"
Marissa spun around summoning the most evil glare she could conjure. She brought up both hands to his chest and shoved him backwards.
"Do you see! Do you fucking see what I mean? We are always fighting Ryan. It never ends. You act like I meant to fall out on your stupid little plans of yours. You're accusing me of nothing!"
Marissa knew that last part wasn't entirely true. She didn't care, she was too pissed at Ryan to do so.
Ryan moved closer to her, hoping she'd see the pain he was in. He'd taken time out to reserve seats at the new Italian restaurant downtown. There he would lay out all the things they'd ever fucked up on, and discuss with her ways they could start over. However instead, he was left all night, fingers furiously punching in numbers of her cell phone countless times, agonizingly waiting for one of the rings to stall, and she'd be on the other line. She never answered. She never picked up.
"Marissa please…" He started, reaching out to grab her forearm.
"Fuck. Off." Marissa growled, yanking her arm from his grasp. "Save your breath. I know you're trying to make us work. But it won't Ryan. I know and you know it. Hell, we fight every second of the day. Isn't that a fucking clue? I've already picked up on it, I think it's about damn time you do too."
Ryan stood in front of her motionless. He just continued to stare at her, his anger resolving into hurt.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying it's over Ryan." She spat out bitterly, her voice lowered to a gritty whisper. "Did you hear me? It's…over. Get the hell out of my house."
Marissa pushed out the last part with such nastiness she could barely get it out right. But it wasn't enough. She had to say something that would seal the deal. Something that topped everything. Stopping mid stride up the stairs, she turned back around facing Ryan again.
"And just so you know… I was out with Alex. That's right, Al-ex. Alex Kelly. My ex girlfriend that was ten times more of a lover than you'll ever be…get over it." She made sure she packed the salt extra thick in the wound, knowing it was mentally murdering Ryan to hear those words.
Wasting no time, she continued her journey up the stairs, and slammed the door to her room. Leaning her back against its painted surface, she slowly slid down to the floor, relief sinking in at last.
There. She'd done it. They were officially over. Case closed.
Ryan began to pace back and forth, resembling a caged animal. The imaginary wood of his mental toothpick had snapped in half, a clean brake through the middle.
Summer stood behind Seth's thin frame, meekly peering over his shoulder. They had moved a few steps backwards themselves, not wanting to get burned by the explosion of the ticking time bomb before their eyes.
Ryan continued to march back and forth, hands clenching and unclenching, nails digging into the flesh of his palms.
Seth decided he should try something, anything to cool him down.
"Ryan, I think-"
Ryan cut him off, mumbling to himself. "What the hell did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Seth tell me I didn't do anything wrong!"
He was frantic, mind racing too fast for it to comprehend. Seth stepped away from Summer, and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. He couldn't tell Ryan he thought Alex was a better candidate for Marissa than he was. He didn't have the heart. Plus it'd be suicide… that's like wearing a red shirt less than a foot away from a bull. Emotional and angry Ryan wasn't one of the best Ryans to meet.
"You, didn't…I think…" Seth tried looking into Ryan's pleading eyes. He sighed. Nope, it just wasn't coming out.
"You didn't do anything wrong Ryan. It's her." He said finally.
Summer fought the urge to smack Seth right in the back of his Jewish little head, but it definitely wasn't the right time. Instead she slid past the two and went up to Marissa's room to check how she was holding up.
"Let's get out of this house for a bit, and we'll get some burgers, play some video games, then sit down and you can tell me everything that's your mind." Seth suggested, both hands resting on both of his wide broad shoulders.
Ryan was still crackling with all the pent up rage and frustration that reigned upon him a few minutes before. He nodded, fists still at his side ready to punch a hole in something before he imploded.
Seth guided him out, not ready to deal with all this.
…
Summer closed the door behind her, eyes resting on Marissa hunched over figure on the other side of her bed.
"Coop, you okay?"
There was no answer.
She took a seat beside her, arm draping around her shoulders, leaning their bodies closer. Marissa relaxed against Summer, lolling her head to one side to allow it to rest on her shoulder, and in return Summer laid her head on top of hers. Marissa's fingers held the flimsy material of a photo in her hands.
It was of her and Alex at a park. She was on Alex's back in piggy back form, fingers demanding bunny ears behind the blonde's head, the other arm busy wrapped around her neck in support of holding on. Alex had her face twisted in a comical mock choking expression, eyes twinkling in the sun.
Summer laughed. "Hey I took that one. We were at the park, I remember." She recalled cheerfully, then face falling grave. "I was right beside that sprinkler from hell." She muttered afterwards. "It was still fun to watch you two though… even if I was soaking wet the whole time."
Marissa smiled. Those were happier times. Times she's hoped would happen again in the near future.
"I miss her so much Sum." She whispered.
Summer could only stroke her arm, and plant a light kiss to the side of her head. "I know…I know. I'm sure she misses you too. It'll get better, you'll see."
…
Summer made sure Marissa would be okay for the night and she headed home.
…
It was around 11:17, and Alex and Eva had retreated in the precincts of their bedroom. There they lay on the bed, Alex's back prompt in upward position by a wad of pillows against the head board, eyes finely tuned on the TV. Eva had nestled in her side, half hanging onto her, loosely entangling their legs. She stared at Alex's side profile, mind aimlessly trailing off into thoughts of their relationship.
'She never tells me anything…' The thought had rebounded in her head from earlier.
Twisting the idea of grilling the girl in her calmed state, she decided it was now or never. She brought her head up to begin a simple task of playful nips and licks around the blondes jaw line. Alex didn't mind it, too into whatever she was watching to care.
"Alex?" Eva murmured.
"Mm?"
Eva figured she should get her full attention, hoisting her body up to straddle her waist, in the process blocking Alex's view.
Alex threw her head back onto her pillow, mildly irritated. "Ugh, Eva. I been waiting all week for this episode." She was almost whining.
Eva let out a groan of disappointment, hand snatching the remote from Alex's, turning the tv off. The glow of the screen faded, and so did the bluish hue of the room. They were in the dark now, face to face, Eva on top of Alex.
"Aw c'mon… Eva, I'm not really in the mood tonight."
"This isn't about fucking Alex." Eva spoke sternly casting a disheartened gaze. "It's not like you want to anyway, we haven't had sex in two months." She said, her tone softening. This wasn't the problem though, she didn't care about the sex, their relationship was much more than that. Come to think of it, she didn't even know if there was a 'more' to be found. She felt like she was missing out on all the things that made Alex who she was.
Alex never told her anything about the past, and now she was searching for answers. It was unfair to her. Eva had told her every little detail about her self, filling her half of their whole way above the brim. Alex on the other hand, was way behind. How are you supposed to completely love a person completely when you don't even know who they are? She had forced herself not to pry, but it continued to gnaw at her subconscious on a regular basis. It was exhausting her mentally. Her deep brown eyes met Alex's crystal blues.
Alex bit her lip, looking away embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
Eva's eyes rolled. "Don't be. I know it's not all about sex babe." She let her lips fall on hers in a tender kiss. "It's just…" Eva tried to put it in a way where in the end result, Alex wouldn't calm up like the multiple times before.
"I'm having a hard time, holding onto you… I guess." Eva wasn't sure if she had worded it right, but it seemed pretty clear… in a non to the point kinda way.
Alex body tensed, dread washing over. Was she talking about her and Marissa? How could she know that? She was bound to find out sooner or later, and this was way too soon. "What do you mean?"
Eva's finger tips ran across her forehead, brushing away the few strands of darken brown that had fallen free from her pony tail.
"I mean, tell me more about who you are. All this time we've been together, and I feel like you're holding out on me all these secrets that you shouldn't be hiding."
Alex didn't know what to think. Was she talking about Marissa, or something else?
"Uh…"
"Fuck, you tell Jodie everything Alex. It's really starting to bug me. Hell, it's even starting to hurt me, and I think it's about time I get to know you better. So start talking… now." Eva demanded, her face hovering over Alex's as close as she could get it without touching.
Alex breathed a sigh of relief.
"Fucking Christ… not this again."
Eva had both eyebrows raised, waiting for her reply.
"Eva…" Alex dragged her name out pleadingly. She really didn't want to get into this tonight. She turned her head to one side, closing her eyes trying to block out Eva's amazingly studious gaze.
"What the hell? No, you are not getting out of this on again, you big jerk. So quit it." Her palms met each side of Alex's head and turned it back to its previous position. "I love you Alex. If you loved me you'd share these things with me. I'm apart of you as much as you are apart of me… Do you love me?"
Yes she did love her. Alex loved her a lot. She wasn't a Marissa, but she definitely was a someone.
Alex flashed a lopsided smile, arms latching around her waist. "I love you." She confirmed.
This was true. Eva had been the one who dusted her off, and pulled her from under the rumble, away from the aftermath of her own emotional disaster.
She didn't want to tell her about the past. Everything in the past involved Marissa and she didn't want to look back… she swore she wouldn't look over her shoulder after that. But Alex's stubbornness had recently faded into a heavy net of guilt. Eva threw everything she had at her, and she offered the girl nothing in return. Plus she'd lied. Eva still thinks that Marissa is an old friend of hers. And the kiss, how could she forget? Alex was never a cheater, nor a liar. But these rules bent at the newfound axel now that Marissa arrived back into her view. A whole new door was opened, and Eva was temporarily forgotten once she walked through it.
Eva smiled touching her lips to Alex's chin, then bottom lip. "Then what's the problem? You're safe with me Alex. I'm an understanding girl. Just tell me what's on your mind."
Alex chuckled for a moment at the sweet irony, and then turned serious. "I will. Just promise me, you won't freak out. I need you to not freak out, and let me explain."
Eva frowned. "You didn't kill anybody did you?" She whispered jokingly trying to keep their moods leveled at comfortable state.
Alex's eyes widened. "What? No. Just promise you won't freak. You just told me you're an understanding girl, and I owe you the truth. I owe you what I know because you love me."
The darker girl nodded and sat up, ears ready to receive Alex's confession. Alex stared up at her, heart beginning to increase in beat. This was the girl who gave her heart to her on a silver platter, trusting Alex with everything she had, and she hoped what she was about to say wasn't going to destroy her completely. She laced their fingers, all the while thinking of a way to lessen the blow. But there wasn't.
"Eva… Marissa's not an old friend. She's my ex girlfriend." Alex put simply.
"What? Why would you lie, about…that? Is there something more to that cause I don't get it."
"Let me finish." Alex started again. She sat herself up fully this time, bringing Eva's hips closer to hers. Eva wrapped her legs around her waist. "I don't like my past because she's in it. Not because she was a bad person, because she wasn't. I loved her so much, it still hurts to talk about it now. Her mom didn't want a lesbian daughter so she threatened to kick her out if she didn't loose me."
"So she lost you." Eva finished. She didn't know where this was heading, but it didn't sound too good.
"Yeah. She did. And now she showed up two years later, ready to get back with me. Ready to pick up where we left off."
Eva's features quickly sunk into a pained expression. "A-and let me guess Alex... you want to be with her don't you?" Her teeth snagged her trembling bottom lip. She couldn't believe this. "So, this is what you and Jodie talk about? How you still fucking love her?" Her voice was cracking, into a whisper. Alex could see the hurt dwelling in the depths of her brown eyes. Eva felt betrayed.
"No. I-"
"What, are you saying Alex? Are you guys fucking each other behind my back?" She asked quietly, eyes filling with tears. She pulled her fingers out of Alex's clasp, lips set in a firm line across her face.
"No we just kissed, once." Alex explained reaching to try to touch her somehow. Eva swatted her hand away.
"Don't fucking touch me!" She closed her eyes to gather her thoughts. "You said you weren't a liar. You said you weren't a cheater…"
Alex shook her head. "I'm not! It just happened Eva, you said you'd understand."
Eva alleviated her urge to smack Alex, and briskly pushed herself off of her. Alex didn't let her go. Instead she fell back, the blonde now on top of her, pinning her to the bed.
Her olive complexion was now tinged with a hue of red from the blood rushing to the area of her cheeks. "Let me go Alex!" Her vision blurred from her unshed tears. She blinked them away, the salty liquid sliding down her cheeks and into her ears. She struggled to break free, but was too weak to fight.
"No. I want you to listen to me. I know it hurts Eva, I've been there. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I really do love you."
Eva was seething now. "Liar! Stop lying to me!" She twisted again to break free from Alex, but to no avail. She gave up, and stopped moving all together.
"I gave you my fucking all. I never had one thought of being with someone else but you… and this is what I get? That this whole relationship was a lie, and you wanted her instead?" Eva could barely speak through her sobbing.
"Don't say that. I love you Eva, I want you to believe me on that. You were my goddamned savior from the hell I'd been through." Alex's words weren't getting through to her. Eva was just too angry to allow anything to sink in.
"You call trying to get back with your ex loving me! Fuck you! You don't deserve to ever say those words to me ever again!" Eva screamed, unleashing all the hatred in her being.
Alex released her hold on Eva's arms. That stung, but she let it roll off her back. Eva was hurting a million times over. Eva slid away from Alex down to the end of the bed. She was broken from the inside out.
"Get out. Get out of my house. Get out of my life" She said tone defeated. Overwhelmed with such pure anguish, she couldn't bring her eyes up to look at Alex's shadowed form and the other end of the bed.
Alex slowly rose from the bed, wanting to take Eva in her arms and tell her it was okay along with the rest of the thoughts in her mind. It was useless. Eva wasn't hearing it.
"I'm sorry Eva. Please forgive me." She whispered gently.
Taking one last look at the tragedy she'd caused, she walked out the door.
'I'll talk to her somehow. I have to. I can't just leave her like that.'
READ ON TO PART2
…
PART 2-it was kinda too big to post all at once…
Jodie opened the door to see the familiar blonde occupy her doorstep once again. Alex had tears brimming her eyes when she lifted her head to speak.
"I told her about Marissa Jode. Think it's okay if I moved in?" Alex asked, saddened smile fading as quickly as it came.
Jodie immediately realized the pain her friend was in and gathered her up into a warm hug, fingers soothing over Alex's head as she began to cry.
"S'ok. You're always welcome here. Don't worry."
'Here we go again.'
…
She laid the girl down into her bed and held her trembling form in her arms until she fell asleep.
There's always tomorrow.
…
-THE NEXT MORNING- around 11:00 AM
The suns rays ripped through the plastic blades of Marissa's window, a thin strip of annoyingly bright light shone directly in line with her eyes. She groaned and pulled the covers tightly over her head. She didn't get any sleep, tossing and turning all night long. The faint throbbing of a headache was induced as a reminder.
"Fucking sun…" She muttered, few seconds later slipping back into peaceful slumber.
"Marissa darling?" A soft voice sounded, muffled by her bedroom door.
One of Marissa's eyes popped open. "Ugh, fucking mom…" She cursed rolling over onto her stomach to bury her face in a wad of pillows.
Julie was back from her week long 'vakay' in Florida with her bumbling group of desperate housewives she called friends.
Her door creaked open and in came her mother. "Rissa?"
Marissa silently prayed she wouldn't wake her up. She didn't feel like talking at the moment, and god knew how her mom liked to boast about what she accomplished somewhere. Julie crept up to her bed, and lowered herself down to her daughter who was fully aware of her presence, but chose to ignore her all together.
Julie rocked her gently. "Sweetie?" She tried again.
Marissa squirmed under her touch. "What?" She mumbled from under the pillows.
"Just wanted to tell you I was back."
Julie sat down beside her. Marissa didn't move. "I know you're back." She replied flatly turning her back towards her. "Now go away, I'm tired and I don't feel like talking right now."
Julie sighed. It was expected. She became immune to her daughter's attitude throughout their battles. She got up, and headed for the door. "Fine. I'll be down stairs. But be prepared to talk when you decide to come down. I'll be waiting." She smiled snobbishly before exiting.
She closed the door, and Marissa's arm stretched out of her blankets in the direction of it, middle finger jutting out.
"Fucking mom." She repeated again, arm limply falling back on the mattress. Now she was fully awake and she didn't want to be. Her head arose from its temporary den, eyes darting toward the clock.
This would surely be a day of hell.
…
Summer's car wandered into a large neighborhood. She didn't know where the hell she was going, eyes shifting back and forth between the piece of paper she held with an address scribbled on it and the numbers on the houses as they passed her window.
She was already irritated from the 5 whole minutes of jokes she had to endure from Katie to get the address.
"Oh hey, you still want my autograph Summer? Son of a-" She mumbled under her breath imitating Kate's previous plies. The numbers of one particular house matched the ones on the paper. "…crap, there's the house." She pulled into the driveway, failing to notice the red paint of Alex's jeep that peeked around the corner of the house.
She hopped out of her car, walking up to the door knocking on it lightly. She could hear the faint barks of a dog from behind the door.
Jodie groaned groggily and pushed a sleeping Alex to the other side of the bed. "Fucking hell, it better not be Eva or it's on." She warned, pulling some boxers on over her bright blue spankies. Jodie wasn't a morning person. She usually didn't wake up until it was well into 2 in the afternoon.
"Spooge! Shut the hell up!" She yelled at the dog. The dog happily marched over to her leg and started to lick it. "Damn dog." She shooed the offending animal away and opened the door.
Summer took a step back, a meek smile plastered on her lips as she took in the sight of Jodie would leaned casually into the doorway.
'It looks like she just woke up. Good one Summer. Going to people's houses that you don't even know, and waking them up.' Summer chided herself noting the blue spankies peaking from the boxers that loosely hung around her waist and the mussed hair.
Jodie grinned, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. 'What a hot delivery lady.' Jodie thought, admiring Summer's cute stature.
"I'm sorry. Um, maybe I should come back later." Summer said gesturing towards her car.
"Its okay, all the rest of the came this morning too. You have a very tough competition in there."
Summer frowned. "Huh?"
Jodie winked. "Don't act like you don't know… the porno I'm making, 'Newport's Finest'. Auditions are today babe. You're like the fifth one."
Summer looked as if she saw someone get hit by a bus. "EXCUSE ME!" She yelped helplessly. "Maybe I got the wrong house. I'm not a porn star!" Summer backed away flustered.
"Hey I was kidding!" Jodie's chuckle developed into roaring laughter.
Summer turned red with embarrassment. She pointed a finger at her. "Hey that's not funny! Stop laughing!"
"You just made my morning." Jodie smiled brightly.
"You suck."
"No my princess… for a minute there you thought you were about to suck!" The darker girl laughed again triumphantly.
Summer immaturely stuck her tongue out. "What kind of sick demented person are you?"
"The Jodie kind. And you are?"
"Summer Roberts. Katie said you'd be this way."
Jodie batted her eyelashes. "Sweet, kind and totally loving?"
"No, just completely abnoxious." She replied flatly, crossing her arms.
"So, Summer Roberts eh?"
"Yeah."
"Straight?"
Summer's eyebrows almost shot up into her hairline. "Yes I'm straight! Do I look gay to you?"
Jodie shrugged. "Eh, oh well. I've don't straight girls before. Doesn't matter to me. As long as their hot, which in your case… you're on fucking fire princess." She leered drawing herself closer.
"Ew gross! I'm not having sex with you Jodie!" Summer slapped her on the shoulder. The sentence ehoed into the air.
Some guy and his wife walking by with their dog and kid stopped to cast the two displeasing glances.
Jodie made a puppy dog eyes. "Aw… then why are you here?"
"For you to help me, duh you twisted freak! Can I at least come in?"
"Even if I'm scared you might try to rape me or something…" She added quickly.
Jodie gasped dramatically watching Summer walk in. "Raping is forced sex, I'd never do that… that's why I have roofies."
Summer whipped around narrowing her eyes. "You better be kidding." She warned purse cocked in the air.
Jodie rolled her eyes. "I don't need 'em. I'm expecting you to toss those sweet little panties of yours my way real soon." She grinned closing the front door.
"Try, NEVER!" Summer nearly screamed. If she had to put up with Jodie's sick sense of humor any longer, she was going to call it quits.
Jodie cringed at the tone in the smaller girl's voice. "Ssh! Dude, my friend is still sleeping. She kinda had a rough night."
"Alex Kelly?"
Jodie took a seat across from her. "Yeah, how'd you know?"
Summer didn't want Alex to know she was milking her friends for info. She was on a secret operation. "Crap, where is she?"
"The bedroom sleeping."
"That's who I need to talk to you about."
Jodie raised a questioning eyebrow. What could this girl possibly want with Alex? "Okay, but why?"
"Because I trying to get her back with my friend." She said simply.
Jodie snorted. "Lemme guess. With Marissa Cooper right?"
Summer didn't like the tone in Jodie's voice when she said her name. "Yeah." She drawled out slowly wondering what problem she had with Marissa.
"Why'd you say her name like that? Is this jealousy I'm seeing?"
"Yeah, whatever. I just don't like the way she plays with Alex's mind like she's some kind of toy. It's sick. I really care about that girl in there, she's been through a lot, and she still going through some shit right now." Jodie explained sipping on a half full beer from the table.
Jodie was only seeing one side of the situation. This bothered Summer. She made it seem like Alex's hell was all Marissa's fault. Like she broke up her just for sport. It was nothing like that.
"How do you know that Marissa hasn't gone through hell too? You don't know what she's like. You don't even know the whole story." She defended fiercely.
Alex entered through the living room doorway rubbing sleep from her eyes. She yawned and stretched her wound up muscles. "You guys so are loud. I shouldn't be up until, like four." Alex said inching towards the kitchen. She didn't notice Summer until she stepped fully into the room.
…
NEXT:
-Marissa tries to maintain sanity with her mother home/gives Alex a call
-Summer gives Jodie the 411 on everything
-Alex talks to Eva explaining her current thoughts
-Ryan debates whether he should squeal about her relationship with Alex to her mother/Seth worries if it's the time to step in
…
AN:
Wow I think this is my longest chapter yet. Sorry I took so long. As everyone knows, school just started as well as the truck load of homework. I get to my story when I can, and I'll try to update before three weeks are up. But seriously that's as much as I can promise.
Anywoo, thanks for the reviews guys. Luv yahz.
Muahz to all!