This chapter is pretty long, so I apologize. But I know you guys were starting to get frustrated so I wanted to get it all out in this one. Let me know what you think! And any suggestions are welcome (: Read and Review pretty please!

I was relieved that Eli agreed to come over tonight.

Something was bothering him. I was sure of it.

But what?

What had I done? I racked my brain trying to remember anything I might have said to upset him.

But I was clueless.

Now that my mom was mad at me, I spent the whole afternoon in my room. I studied, I read, I mindlessly flipped through television channels, and I went back to studying.

I was restless.

It was midnight and I hadn't received so much as a text from Eli saying when he'd be over.

I picked up my phone and set it back down, debating whether or not to call.

I repeated this a few times before finally pushing call.

I had expected a loud chaotic background, but when he answered it was dead silent.

"Hello?"

His voice was hesitant, even though he knew it was me. His actions today were really starting to upset me.

What had I done?

"Uhm, hey, Eli. I'm sorry to bother you…"

"No, it's fine Clare. What's up?"

"Well, I was just wondering when you were coming over. I haven't talked to you since school…"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just, I um… I got caught up with Adam. I'll be over soon though. Promise."

And without even a chance to say okay, the call was disconnected.

I lay down on my bed and curled up into a ball, trying not to cry.

I messed everything up.

Even though they didn't admit it, I still felt like I played a big hand in my parent's separation.

And now I was somehow pushing Eli away and making him distant.

There had to be a way to fix this. I had to get him close to me again.

Seducing him, I thought, might just work.

When I heard a faint tapping on my window, I jumped up and let him in.

But unlike the night before, he didn't greet me with a kiss. He just turned around, shut the window, and walked over to sit at the foot of my bed.

He looked distracted. Distressed, even.

It was not a look I liked.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, moving to sit beside him. He shook his head.

"N-nothing," he answered just as quietly, hesitating to meet my gaze.

I didn't believe him by any means, but I dismissed it and leaned into him.

He was tense.

I tilted my face up to study his features.

They were sad.

Instead of pressing further, I lifted my lips to his and kissed him.

He kissed me back, though his kisses were uncharacteristically reserved.

I deepened the kisses, hoping to get his mind off of whatever it was on and instead pulling it to me.

But he was reluctant to match their passion.

I lifted myself so that I was nearly on his lap as I pushed him back onto the bed.

When his back hit the comforter, he held me above him and broke the kiss.

I went to kiss him again, but he held me back.

"Clare, I… I can't," he murmured. His face was pained.

"You can't what?" I asked timidly.

"This… I can't…"

"Eli, don't say that. I don't know what's bothering you but just let me take your mind off of it. Let me make you happy."

I pushed past his arms and my lips pressed into his neck, trailing a line of kisses. My hands moved down his chest and towards his waist slowly.

He stopped them.

"Clare, I can't," he said, more forcefully this time.

"Why, Eli? What the hell did I do? Why are you being like this?" I was desperate, I was angry, and I was hurt.

"It's nothing," he said simply, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

"Well that's obviously a lie," I said, lifting myself off of him and standing, looking down at him coldly.

He sat up, his eyes on the floor.

"I'll still stay if you want me to. But… but that isn't going to happen."

He didn't want me. He was distancing himself from me.

My eyes grew hot with tears.

"You should leave," I said softly, my voice breaking.

"Clare, I-"

"Eli, just go!"

He stood up and walked over to me. He lifted his arm to almost touch me but pulled back at the last minute and simply left.

I was a wreck, bawling my eyes out, and he just left.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"I really fucked things up."

I rolled my eyes at the voice on the other end of the phone. No shit he'd fucked things up.

"I did what I told you I would, I tried to back off. I just didn't want to do any further damage. I thought… I thought backing off would help her, not hurt her. But she freaked. She was crying when I left. Man, I don't know what to do."

"Jesus you're stupid," is all I said.

"Thanks a lot," he muttered.

"Dude, why didn't you just tell her how you feel? This is getting out of hand. The poor girl can only take so much of your shit."

Through their whole relationship, Clare and Eli had deemed me their confidant.

And most of the time, it got messy. I never said I was a good mediator.

"Do you think I should call her?"

"If I were her, I wouldn't answer your phone call for anything. Just being honest."

His silence let me know he was freaking out inside.

But he toyed with Clare's emotions too much. I'm surprised she still liked him as much as she did.

"So should I give her some space? Let her calm down a little?" he asked, desperate.

"I really don't think she wants you to be any more distant than you already are," I started, but he cut me off.

"But all I do is hurt her. I'm going to let her come to me."

And he was off the phone.

I looked down at my phone. I had 2 missed calls from Clare.

Poor girl.

She loved him so much but she was too scared to say so.

I knew about how much they both loved each other.

And time after time I told them to confess.

But stupid kids never listened to me. And look where it got them.

I called her back quickly.

"Adam?" she asked timidly, her voice broken and desperate.

"Yeah, Clare. What's wrong?"

And she proceeded to tell me the exact story Eli had.

"He really does care about you," I offered.

"Well then why did he push me away? If he really does care about me like you say, then he has a genius way of showing it."

She was pissed. This was not going to end up well.

"You just need to talk to him, it's the only way any of this is going to get-"

"Me, talk to him first? You're crazy!" she nearly yelled. "I'm the one that deserves an explanation!"

Great. Neither would talk to each other. How many times did I have to tell them, Adam knows best.

"Look, just try to calm down and maybe talk to him about it?"

She didn't answer.

I hesitated.

"Or… or you could just talk to me about it in the meantime." What had I gotten myself into with these two?

"Thanks, Adam. You're the best."

"I know."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I didn't talk to him that whole weekend. Nor had he spoken a word to me.

Sent me a single text.

Called.

I was going insane.

I didn't leave my room but to eat twice a day.

I couldn't sleep without him there with me.

When I went to school Monday, I was a zombie.

I hardly spoke a word to anyone the whole day.

I saw that Adam was with him at lunch, so I ate in the library.

In English, I got there early and left late, never turning to face him where he sat right behind me.

I was not breaking first.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I kept my word and didn't call her.

I wanted to give her time. When she calmed down she would call me.

But the whole weekend passed by and not a word.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.

She had such a hold on me.

At school on Monday I was among the living dead as I blankly sat through class after class.

At lunch, I didn't see her even once.

I complained to Adam, and he told me I was being stupid.

But after what I'd put her through, I didn't think I was being stupid at all.

In English, she was already seated and doing her assignment when I arrived.

I stayed in my seat just a few minutes after the bell, hoping to catch her as she turned to leave.

But she stayed seated too.

And this went on day in and day out for the whole week.

It was breaking my heart, not speaking to her, hardly seeing her, not kissing her or touching her or loving her as I'd grown so accustomed to doing nearly every day.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"If you can't take it anymore, why don't you take my damn advice and talk to her?" Adam asked after I'd confessed to him.

His sympathy for me was next to none.

"Like she'd talk to me. After what I've put her through… I can't do anything right, can I? I try to make things better and they end up a million times worse."

"If only you'd listen to me," he said shaking his head. "Dude, seriously. Go talk to her. If she won't listen, make her. I don't know, show up to her house or something. Find a way."

That plan didn't seem completely awful.

I decided I would.

That night, when it was late enough that I knew her mom would be asleep but she would still be up, I drove over to her house and climbed the tree leading up to her window.

I looked in and saw her.

She was a mess, tears in her eyes and her hair going in every direction.

Had I really done this to her?

I couldn't stand to see her like this.

I reached forward and lightly tapped on her window.

She looked over with a jump, caught off guard.

She slowly walked over and opened the window, but did not move back to let me in.

"What do you want?" she whispered, her voice shaky.

"Clare," I whispered back, "Baby please. Can I just talk to you for a little while?"

She hesitated, but moved back and I climbed in through the window.

I hugged her, but she didn't hug me back.

We moved to her bed and sat there for a good ten minutes without saying anything.

"Eli, if you aren't going to talk…"

"I am, Clare. I just have to… I'm just nervous."

I was shaking. I couldn't lose her. I wouldn't.

I turned to face her, taking her hands in mine.

"The other day in English, when Dawes was talking about Romeo and Juliet. And she asked you for your opinion on sex. Well, you said that you thought it was okay as long as the two people loved each other. Now, Clare, I love you so much, I've loved you since before we were even together. But I didn't want to freak you out by telling you, so I just let it be."

I was rambling now. I didn't realize her shaky, "You have?"

"Even though I've known that I love you, you haven't. See I knew I was compromising you by sleeping with you. And I'm sure you regretted it, just like I thought."

Again, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn't noticed her whisper "I didn't regret it at all."

"But I just want you to know that I've loved you through it all. And that's what was on my mind when I…"

"I've loved you too, Eli."

"…was with you. And I can't even- Wait, what was that?" I'd finally tuned her in and I was shocked.

She laughed softly, leaning into me.

"I've loved you too, Eli. I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes."

My eyes were wide and it took me a minute to register. But when I did, I pulled her close and kissed her hard.

When we broke away from each other, we were in a daze.

I was there, with the girl I loved, and she loved me too.

Everything was right in the world.

"I should have taken Adam's advice a lot sooner, I guess," I mumbled reluctantly.

He had told me the whole time to just fess up to her.

"Me too," she said with a small smile.

I smiled and relaxed onto her bed, pulling her down with me.

"Can we never fight again? Or, whatever that was."

"Of course. I don't think I could have lasted another day without you," she whispered. "I haven't slept hardly at all since…"

"Me neither," I said, holding her tight.

"Eli?" she murmured looking up at me.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked looking down into her beautiful eyes.

"I love you," she whispered, a grin taking over her features.

And I smiled too.

"I love you too," I replied, my voice muffled by my lips upon hers.

We kissed gently, but soon our passion took over.

I shifted my body so that I was positioned above her and our deep kisses ensued.

Just as we had gotten to the point where we were nearly about to rip each other's clothes off, I pulled back.

"Not again," she groaned, her eyes pleading.

"No, we're going to do this," I assured her, kissing her softly. "But we're going to do it right, Clare. Like we should have done it the first time."

Our first time (and every time after) had been rushed.

Hot, heavy, and passionate.

And that was great, but I wanted to give her everything a first time should be.

Sweet, gentle, and slow. I wanted to make love to her.

She looked up at me, obviously confused but willing to let me show her what I meant.

I leaned down and kissed her slowly.

As my lips moved against hers, they moved with passion, but not with the desperate urgency that we usually shared.

My hand cupped the side of her face at first, then slowly slid down her neck, fell over her beautiful body, and found the hem of her shirt.

I didn't rip it off in haste. I lifted it gently, and let it drop to the floor.

My hands moved across her bare skin and my fingertips memorized every inch of her.

My lips met hers once again and my hand found the elastic of her pajama shorts.

I hooked my thumb into them and pulled them down slowly. They soon met her shirt on the floor. My hands now moved across her legs, and she leaned into me.

Her hands fumbled with the buttons of my shirt and I continued kissing her, letting her work it off in her own time.

It met her clothes.

Next she unbuttoned, unzipped, and pulled off my jeans. I helped kick them off and they too found the floor.

Covered by only our underwear, our warm bodies pressed into one another.

My lips hadn't left hers.

I reached around and unhooked her bra, removing it and pulling her to me.

A small moan escaped her as our tongues danced together.

I positioned her on her back and slowly pulled off her underwear, my hands lingering.

She removed my boxers at the same pace, and I smiled against her lips.

I kneeled between her legs, my lips venturing from hers to place a kiss on her neck.

I whispered in her ear that I loved her, and she wrapped her arms around me and whispered it back.

My lips found hers once more as I pushed myself inside her.

I moved slow and rhythmically, loving the feeling of her around me.

She nibbled at my lip, and I knew that she loved it too.

I only gained a little bit of speed occasionally, wanting this moment to last forever.

Her hips rocked with mine, and mine with hers.

There was no telling where I ended and she began, we were one.

This time lasted much longer than any time before. Towards the end, I sped up for her, knowing she was close.

She shook in my arms, and I watched her as she tightened around me then let herself go.

She was beautiful, and I loved her.

I too let myself go, kissing her deeply as I did so.

When my body collapsed against hers, she let out a soft moan and curled up against me.

I wrapped my arms around her.

"How was that?" I mumbled against the top of her head between placing soft kisses there.

"Perfect," she whispered sleepily.

Before we drifted off into slumber, there was time for one more exchange of words.

"I love you, Clare."

"I love you too, Eli."