Chapter 10: Mint Condition
Author: Snooglez
Disclaimer: IDOA
Rating: I think the language is enough to rate it R
…
Alex released her arms from around her lover's neck she admired her work, the dangling jewelry resting between her shoulder blades.
Marissa didn't have to look down. She already knew what it was. There was no way she could've ever forget it, the small heart treasured just below her chin for a period of happiness felt more stronger than she'd ever been. Or in layman's… one month.
Acting upon natural impulses her hand reached up, neck craning slightly, pads of her fingers delving and mind toiling into the familiarity of the warm smooth metal against her skin.
"It's for you…again." Alex said softly. She scratched the back of her neck, both anxious and coy washing her on both sides of her brain in a flash.
"I know it probably feels weird and all…" she said in reference to the last time Marissa had seen it, on her glass living room table in the midst of a heavy silence and wrenching break up. "… but I thought I should, um.. give it to you, again." She finished awkwardly.
Marissa didn't care she had melted into a puddle of bumbling fool. She found it down right cute. She smiled quite broadly at the blonde, heart almost successful in breaking free of her ribcage, she swore it.
The smiled eased Alex's nervousness. Before she could give in to blink twice, the brunette threw herself at her in a sloppy hug, considering the lack space due the table they were sitting in beside one another.
Alex burst into laughter, joining her girlfriend's glee as she hugged her back equally as discomfited.
"I love you." She murmured into ears, turning her head to say it again into the silkiness of her blonde strands that covered her shoulders.
Alex grinned. "I love you too. Always have and always will."
They pulled back, sharing this sensually delicious kiss, tickling the insides of both, stirring up something deep. They broke, giggling and smiles resurfacing.
"We should go." Marissa said taking her hand.
Alex stared at her, perplexed features forming. "Wha… right now? Where?"
Marissa opened her mouth to respond, but Alex's cell phone sprang to life, the evil shrill slicing through the music of the club and their conversation.
Alex picked up the annoying piece of plastic and wires and peered into its blue glowing window to see who was interrupting their moment. The words "PimpinJay" blinked across the screen in the appropriate digital font.
"It's Jodie." Alex concluded. Jodie was the only one of her friends that would program her name into her phone so silly. "Let me just see what she wants." She unflipped her phone and placed it up to her ear.
"What's up queerdo?"
"Summer's on acid."
The comment was so stark upon delivery and Alex knowing her friend so well thought she was kidding. She rolled her eyes. "Why because she won't have sex with you?"
#"Noooo. I'm mean like, really on acid. I'm talking the cute hello kitty kind, sugar and sunshine. Seriously… take a listen. She's talking to Spongebob in the back seat. It's kinda funny and shit, but after a while it starts to freak you out cause you realize she's truly trippin' of her ass man!"#
Alex could hear Summer's shouts. #"NO! YOU'RE A GAY SPONGE! No…no…. your mom!"#
"Dear god! How the hell did she get acid Jodie!"
Marissa frowned. "Who's on acid?"
#"Hey! Turn around in your seat before I get a ticket!"# She sighed heavily.
#"I went to go pay Scooba his money from what he lent me, and some guy I guess offered her some fucking tabs… I dunno. All I know is that I can't leave her alone, she's unpredictable and fucking nuts so she'll be bunking up with us tonight. Cool?"#
"I don't have a problem with that."
#"Alrighty. I'm gonna have to let you go. She tweaking out about how I keep running over the yellow midgets.#
"Just make sure she's safe."
#"………"#
"Jodie!"
She heard her friend's wavering laughter through the line.
#"I was kidding. I'll make sure she doesn't see jesus, promise."#
"Yeah, you go do that. Like I said, keep your lover safe." Alex ordered half chuckling. "And don't force yourself on her."
#"Did you just call me her lover! Oh…oh…you're dead."#
Click.
Alex shook her head at the pitiful situation and tucked her phone into her pocket and met Marissa's questioning gaze.
Alex opened her mouth to speak on the outrageous topic, but she soon closed it, unable to align the words in a way that would prevent shock. So instead she just spit it out. "Summer's on acid."
"Oh my god, are you serious?"
"Afraid so. I'm guessing it was accidental rather than intentional. I really can't imagine someone like Summer doing that type of stuff purposefully."
"Me neither. Summer is like the most anti drug person I know. She's okay right?"
"Yeah, Jodie says she's gonna keep her over her house to watch after her. So no worries.""
"I better call her dad and tell her she's staying with me tonight."
Alex cocked her head to the side. "Oh… you wanna stay with me tonight huh?" She grinned.
Marissa smiled bashfully. "Where else am I gonna go?"
"What about your mom? Won't she call?"
"Yeah. I'll tell her I spent the night at Summer's house. See? Problem solved."
Alex kissed her. "Very well then, jailbait. Let's go."
They slid out of the booth.
Marissa wrinkled her nose. "You just made me sound like I'm fifteen and you're the pervy college guy."
"Aw sick. Why do I have to be a guy!" Alex whined.
"Sorry, just calling it how I thought it." Marissa said giggling, wrapping her around Alex and snuggling her from behind.
….
"Summer…" Before she could utter further words, a finger was brought to her lips.
"Ssh! The panda is talking again. I wanna run in the meadow with the panda again. Will you go with me Jodie weiner lips?"
Jodie's cheeks were squished together by Summer's palms. "Shhure." She slurred out.
"WHOO! I'll go get the bamboo."
She released Jodie's face, retreating in the kitchen.
"Freak." She mumbled to herself.
Summer came clodding back into the living room with two spatulas. She shoved it in Jodie's face.
"Take it. It is pure."
Jodie looked at the spatulas, and then up at Summer. She wondered what the hell was up with the Chinese accent. "Um…That's a goddamn spatula."
Summer looked at the metal object in her hand, heavily doubting Jodie. "No. No it's not. It is the purest bamboo in the land and it shall ward the water leprechauns away."
Jodie narrowed her eyes studying the girl before her. She was certainly off her rocker experiencing illusions to that extent. "Summer… where are we?" she asked knowing she was wallowing inside some deep hallucination.
"Why, the land of the dancing trees. We have to find our way out of here. I wanna get me some nachos with the panda." She carefully explained.
"With the panda…right. I have nachos. Want some?"
"No. They're not magical. I want them to fill me with magical cheesy goodness. Yours suck."
Jodie features pulled a scowl. "Why do mines have to suck?"
Summer squished Jodie's cheeks together again. "Cause! They are not magical! Duh!"
"Ey, Id hertz. Leb go ob ma sheeks." Jodie ordered looking up at the dark haired girl with much annoyance.
Summer began to swish her palms around in a circular motion. "But they're cute! Look at 'em."
"Leb em go Shummer!"
She ignored her, now taking Jodie's cheeks between her fingers and tugging them around. "Chubby lil cheeks… chubby lil cheeks… chubby chubby wubby wubby, chubby chubby cheeks!" She sung happily.
"Shummer!"
"Doot doo doo doot doo…"
"Pweeze." Jodie begged.
Summer let her go, but somehow attached to how warm her face felt under her finger tips.
"Wow you're warm. It feels so good." She said stroking Jodie's face.
"Um…" Jodie gulped.
Summer was too entranced in how lovely it felt when she touched her to respond. Instead she started to lean closer…
Jodie swallowed, under the impression that she was going to kiss her. "Hey… I don't think you wanna do that…"
Summer wrapped her arms around Jodie's neck and climbed onto her waist, starting to snuggle her.
"The warm…can't…let…go."
"Wow. I'm never doing this shit again in my entire life. Babysitting an acidhead sucks massive ass!"
"Uh…" Jodie laid back on the couch with the girl curled up on top of her, nuzzling her like a baby… or maybe even a monkey. "…hey crazy, you wanna watch some tv?"
Summer's hand's starting to stroke her arms, perhaps probing for more warm she was preciously seeking out. "The black box that talks to me in the winter…"
Jodie reached out to grab the remote control when there was a hard knock on the door. She supposed it was Alex and Marissa coming to check on Summer or so. "Come in."
The door opened and Anna came in.
Jodie didn't have the energy to argue and explain her situation so she laid there, Summer happily rubbing on her body. "Argh…what the hell are you doing here?"
Anna folded her arms in defense, face glaring the two of them . "What the hell is she doing here on top of you like that? And here I thought you two were dating."
"We're not you flippin' psycho."
"She has a boyfriend."
"I know."
Summer regained her composure pointing at Anna. "Hey, it's a water leprechaun! Jodie, quick…grab the bamboo!" She said grabbing a spatula on the floor and swatting at her in warning. "Back! Back! Away with you stinky leprechaun!"
She backed Anna up to the door.
"Jodie, what the fuck is going on? Is she drunk? Did you get her drunk to have sex with you!"
"No I didn't get her drunk! Drunks don't move that fast." Jodie said dragging Summer away to kitchen by her shirt before she had the chance to attack Anna brutally with a spatula.
"Wait! She'll turn you green and make you ride rainbows forever!" Summer cried trying to turn back.
"Summer. Calm down. It's just Anna." Jodie said sitting the frantic girl in a chair.
"No! You don't understand! It's what they want you to think!"
"Summer…"
"Here, take this for safety." She said shoving the spatula in her hand. "If you're not back in ten minutes I'll make a run for it with the panda." Summer hugged her. "Be brave. Be strong. We're counting on you." She said seriously.
"Yeah let me go do that. Don't come out until ten minutes okay? And don't touch anything." Jodie said walking out the kitchen.
Anna glared at her disapprovingly. "You're sick, you know that?"
"Oh, fuck you, it's not even like that. She's not drunk, she's on acid for your information."
Anna's mouth went slack. "You gave her acid!"
"No I didn't give her acid! Someone probably tricked her into taking it when I went to Scooba's. I don't have to explain myself to you. You already know that's not my style."
"Neither is she." The blonde retorted. "Why is she here?"
"I have to look after her you know. She's is on acid. Can't just let the loony run free, she might die or something."
"That would've been nice. You know, a nice truck running her over… or maybe a bus."
Jodie laughed. "You are never going to change are you? As a matter of fact, why are you here? I would really appreciate it if you left me and the nut alone tonight."
"I want to talk."
"You might as well turn around and talk to that wall behind you, because anything you say I'm not listening. Now if you're here just for a good mindless fuck, then I'd be listening, but other than that I have no reason to even dedicate a an eighth of my brain to your psycho babble."
"Why do you have to do this? I'm really trying here and you go and throw all your goddamn bitterness in my face."
Jodie narrowed her eyes. "Maybe I wouldn't be this way if you hadn't made me like this."
Anna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Opening her eyes she started over.
"Will you please listen to me?" she pleaded hoping to soften Jodie's hard exterior.
Jodie avoided her eye contact, remaining silent. Anna took it as a yes and went to sit down beside her.
"You're not gonna look at me?"
No answer.
Anna's hand came up to stroke back Jodie's long dark strands over her shoulder.
"I miss you so much, and I know I get too jealous baby but I can't help it. I can't stand seeing all those other girls around you because I know what they want, and I know what how you think."
This caused Jodie to turn around to face her. "Just because I think it doesn't mean I'll act on it. I fucking loved you way too much to screw us up. And instead I get almost crucified by you every time I come in contact with a girl. It's like you don't fucking trust me. If you do remember I'm the one that changed for you."
Anna knew she was right. Jodie had given up her old ways of sleeping around with random pretty faces, and lots and lots of weed. Lots and lots of weed.
"And I'm sorry for that. If you give me another chance I swear I'll try to change it." She said softly, leaning on Jodie, chin resting on her shoulder.
Jodie sat there, staring at the ceiling trying her best not to give in, but it was hard. Whenever Anna released herself into a state of extreme jealously it was like she was a whole different person and she hated it. But when she wasn't that, she was this sweet lovable person with just the right amount of spark that Jodie admired in her. It was what she loved so much about her, and she still did.
But how much more could she honestly take of her boasting jealousy?
And then there was Summer. There was definitely an attraction there. She could've sworn it was the constant resisting of the small girl that kept Jodie wanting more and more of her every time, and she loved every minute of it.
"I'll think about it." She replied lowly.
Anna smiled and kissed her on the cheek, and then lips. She let her lips linger long enough for Jodie to give in and kiss her back, tasting her share of peaches and cream lip dream gloss in the process.
They parted, Jodie leaning back onto the couch. She licked her lips, trying to rid them of the extra moisture Anna had created with her own lips.
The blonde's hand rested on her knee jean clad, shifting back and forth a couple times. "Can I call you tomorrow? I have to get home, I have an early shift tomorrow."
"No, I'll call you tomorrow." Jodie clarified.
"Okay." The blonde nodded delivering a chaste kiss upon Jodie's mouth, getting up and heading for the door. "Bye." She said opening the door and closing it behind her.
"Sexy ass. Deadly, but sexy ass hell." Jodie thought to herself watching her leave.
She wanted to just sit and wallow in the multiple thoughts that were now cramming her head and what exactly she'd gotten herself into. She said she'd think about it, but she knew when it came to Anna it was like she'd already said yes.
Her thoughts all came to a stop when she heard a loud crash along with a lot of barking coming from the kitchen.
"Summer."
Spooge came skidding around the corner and leap up onto the couch ducking behind Jodie seeming almost like he was hiding something.
"Come back here horsey! I have to ride you!" Summer said from in the kitchen. She waddled in and the dog started to whimper and whine.
"wroof…hmph…"
Jodie turned around to the cowering dog and petted him. "Summer, he's not a horse! Did you try to ride him?"
Summer raised her fists in the air. "Yes! Yes I did! Wait, where's the water leprechaun?" She asked scanning the room for Anna and seeing no sign of her. "Oh my god you killed her, yay!"
Summer raced over and hugged Jodie tightly nearly knocking her over. Spooge ran for his life when she approached the couch.
Jodie laughed as the girl clung to her. "Let's get some nachos."
Summer's eyes were wide. She gasped. "Magical ones?"
"Um sure… why not."
……
Alex picked through her outrageous amount of keys on her key ring to find the right one to Jodie's door.
"Why don't you knock babe?" Marissa asked not knowing why she would even go through the pain staking trouble for one key. There was like, at least fifty on the keyring.
"Because they might be sleep or something."
Marissa sighed aloud, hinting at her frustration leaning on the step post. "I'm gonna grow a beard with little grey hairs and wrinky old skin and start to bald…then won't you be sorry?"
Alex laughed at her girlfriend's banter. "Riss, if you did happen to transform into an old man right before my eyes at this second, I'd shove you back in the car, and drive you off the nearest cliff because you're probably not human."
Marissa playfully hit her in the arm. "You'd drive me off a cliff? Hey! What happened to it's what's on the inside that counts?"
Alex nodded, smile still worn, surprised she found the right key and stuck it in the lock. "I don't think it counts if on the outside you were practically my grandpa."
"Yeah that would be kinda ew." She replied following Alex inside the house.
"You'd have these ginormous wrinky balls…"
"Alex! Okay, you're done." Marissa cried not much appreciating her girlfriend's descriptions.
Alex looked around seeing no sign Jodie or Summer. The tv was on but no bodies present to watch it.
"Jodie! You guys here?"
"I'm in the kitchen."
They walk into the kitchen to find Jodie and Summer happily munching away at nachos. Well, Jodie was. Summer was having a very hard time.
"Jodie… what kind of cheese is this? It won't get on the chip." Summer said struggling to gain any of the yellowy substance on her chip. She kept hallucinating that the cheese was running away from her chip when in reality it was well covered in it.
There was a big mess on her side of the table, because she'd kept shoving the chip into the bowl "chasing" it and in end results, breaking it. And she refused to eat a broken chip so she tossed it beside the bowl and started over creating a massive pile of broken chips. There was cheese all over her cheeks, hands, and shirt.
"It's magical, remember? They're magical nachos… oooooooh" Jodie said wavering her voice in a mystical way and wiggling her fingers in the air for the full effect to keep her interested. It was what she told her to make her calm down a bit. Summer was becoming a hand full.
Alex looked at Summer and started to laugh. "Holy shit. Her eyes are freaking huge, look at those things." Marissa pinched her. "Hey, ow!"
"She says if she doesn't hold them open that wide she can't see everything." Jodie informed her. "Really freaky."
"Jodie, why didn't you give her a bib?" Alex asked scrunching her face up at the mess.
"Well I didn't think she'd be retarded in engaging a simple task as of eating freakin' nachos Al-ex. So shut your trap." Jodie replied smartly.
Summer turned to look at Marissa. "COOPYKINS!" She screamed nearly knocking over her chair to get to Marissa.
The lanky brunette backed up a couple steps not prepared to feel the impact of smaller girl hugging you tightly.
"Hey Sum." Marissa smiled, but it soon faded as she caught sight of her black halter with spots of cheese. "and there goes the shirt."
"You made it! I thought you'd never come for me. Did you guys bring your bamboo as an offering for the panda?"
Marissa stared at her mouth slack with no idea how to respond. She looked over to Alex for possibly an answer. But Alex was busy staring down at Jodie.
Jodie hunched her shoulders up. "What? We're in the land of dancing trees, how could you guys not bring the bamboo? Geez."
"Jodie, you're not helping."
"Here, you can have ours." Summer said grabbing the spatulas off the table and placing each in their hands. "Joins us in our magical nacho party."
They both silently obeyed, no response forming in their brains to reply her from the sheer weirdness.
Alex grabbed a chair and sat way across from Summer. "Man, she is really trippin out."
Marissa sat beside her best friend… on the clean side of her.
The blonde took notice of the broken dog gate. "What happened to that?"
"Summer tried to ride Spooge, like a friggin' horse. Isn't that right Quixote?" She aimed at Summer who was paying no mind to any of them.
The blonde nodded. "Okay. Sorry I asked that one."
They all watched Summer struggle with the cheese. "Oh my god you guys. You will never believe what happened. The water leprechaun came and Jodie totally kicked ass. She's my hero." She blurted.
Alex and Marissa looked at Jodie for an explanation. "Water leprechans?"
"Yeah, fucking Anna came over, like outta the goddamn blue to talk about getting back together. I think it's because she thinks me and Summer are doin' the bump."
"I told her to talk to you, idiot."
Jodie's eyebrows nearly connected with her hair line. "You told her to talk to me about getting back together? Are you sure she wasn't spurred on by jealousy? You know she's known for it."
Alex nodded. "It was probably a combination of the two."
"Na-chas!" Summer shouted over their conversation, finally after all her hard efforts stuffing a chip into her mouth.
Jodie laughed. "I think she has turrets too."
They all silently agreed.
She directed her attention back to Alex. "Why'd you tell her to come and talk to me? I was just getting over her."
Alex pulled a grin. "Getting over her to get with Summer eh?" She nudged her.
Jodie's eye's widened and she placed a hand over her eyes in slight embarrassment. She kicked Alex from under the table. Luckily the tiny brunette wasn't in the right frame of mind to comprehend.
"Fuck you and yours." She flipped Alex the bird.
Alex laughed. "Yeah Anna told me about how you said you wanted to be with her. I was so right! Oooh, Jodie and Summer sitting in a tree…" she squealed, Marissa's smile evident too after seeing her girlfriend's expression.
"You see? That's why I didn't wanna tell you shit, cause you always like to tease me jackass!"
"You always make fun of me too when I have a crush! You gigantic ass-a-saurus!" Alex said pointing at her.
Jodie could no longer spur on her anger at the girl when she'd just used the term "Ass-a-saurus". Instead she laughed right in her face. "You're girlfriend's a real dumbass Marissa. Just thought I'd let you know."
Marissa laughed. "Yeah well, she is a blonde." She winked.
"Hey, not cool. Don't gang up on the blonde. I must be handled with care."
Jodie reached over and ruffled Alex's perfect blonde hair on the top of her head. "Dork."
"Hey, queer. Never touch the hair." She warned smoothing out her long out of place strands.
Marissa giggled across from them. She could almost feel the strung years of friendship between them dabbled plentifully with child hood memories. Alex had never told her much about her and Jodie's past relationship, but she could see it right before her and she found it adorable as they themselves were together. She noticed there was always an air of childishness whenever they were present.
……
The nacho party had ended and Marissa and Alex had left Jodie to clean up and look after Summer since she was the one that was responsible for her in the first place. They had retired for the night in Jodie's cozy little basement, Alex's current bedroom to date.
Meanwhile Summer was driving Jodie crazy, running away from the sponge she had in her hand to clean her off.
"Summer get over here! You are not coming into my living room or my room looking like that."
Summer placed a chair in between them trying to hold her off. "Nooo! Spongebob's back to GET ME!"
Jodie sucked in a deep breath to calm herself down. She pointed at Summer. "You're a real pain in the ass you know that?"
Summer pointed back to her. "Don't make me get the bamboo!"
"Fine! I'm getting a damn wash cloth." Jodie confirmed, storming away to her bathroom. "You're never doing acid, again." She mumbled whipping open the closet that contained many colored bathing fabrics.
Summer peeked her head around the corner to see if Jodie was looking, and turned back around to the table staring down the yellow sponge that was in the middle of it.
"Prepare to die stupid gay sponge…" She grabbed it and squeezed it in her fist, water sloshing onto the floor. Her menacing expression faded into sorrow.
"Oh, no… don't cry Spongebob, I'm sorry."
She hugged the yellow cleaning item and began to cradle it like it were her own child. "There, there gay sponge, it's okay…" She cooed.
A couple seconds passed and Summer turned hell bent on it. She held it in the air. "…DIE EVIL SPONGE DIIIE!"
Jodie heard the ruckus and came speeding back into the kitchen.
There was a mere yellow pile of ripped sponge material in the center of the table. She looked to Summer who was breathing heavily with a demented smile on her face.
"Summer! That was not necessary! That was my last one you fucking nut!"
"I had to get revenge. I'm sorry." She said shrugging up her shoulders like she'd done nothing wrong.
"Get over here…now!" Jodie heaved, finger pointing to the space in front of her. She had to gain some type of control over this girl before she destroyed something else, or did something she'd seriously pay for in the morning.
Summer squeaked at Jodie's tone, and knew she meant business. "Stop yelling at me first! You're mouth is moving to fast for me to overstand!" she said frustratedly.
"That because your high off your goddamn rocker!"
Summer walked over her and pouted. Jodie wore a scowl on her face as she cleaned Summer's. After she was done she threw the cloth into the sink and took Summer's hand to lead her into the bedroom.
Jodie closed the door behind her. "You. Shirt. Off." She rummaged through her drawer to find a long t-shirt for Summer to wear.
Summer peeled off her cheese stained shirt and tossed it into the floor by Jodie's bed. "Whoo… I'm getting nakey." She sung in singsong form.
Jodie could help but laugh, throwing the fresh shirt in front of her. "Just the shirt, and maybe the pants if you wanna get comfortable. I'll get you some boxers." She grabbed her some of her favorite red and black checkered ones, she looked back over at Summer who was only clad in her bra and undies.
She swallowed thickly, feeling her blood pressure rise a notch as her eyes greedily scanned over her every curve, every milky inch of warm skin that was exposed.
Summer's eyes met hers, and she immediately tore her eyes away feeling a blush creep up her cheeks even though the other girl was oblivious to understanding what just happened to the full extent. Jodie felt guilty of looking at her that way knowing she wasn't all there in the first place, and she didn't know why.
"Jodie get a grip. She's on acid for crying out loud."
"Um… here you go." Jodie said handing her the boxers. "I'm gonna go into the bathroom and change. Get dressed and sit on my bed and find something to watch until I come back out. Don't move your ass anywhere."
……
Yeah kiddos, never do write a chapter of you fic while your high off your ass, or with a friend who's equally fucked up. coughlastchaptercough
But anyways Hope u like this one. It's not much, but its been sitting on my hardrive doing nothing and im sorry for the wait for the chap. I just wanted people to know im still here and im not going to give up on this fic. So hang high peoples… err, not literally.