Chapter 3

Sorry for taking awhile to update. I had a moment where I suddenly lost confident and interest in the story. But then, for like the eleventh time now, I decided to change the course of the story and have now spent some time doing some rewriting.

And I really want to thank you again for reviewing. Especially I want to thank Lis, who really gave me a push to keep going. Without people's comments I would for sure just have given up. I'm glad you made me continue, because now I'm back on track again and lovin' it :)

Kris lifted up her surf board somewhat half-heartedly as she stepped up from the water. After they had solved their last case a couple of days ago, Charlie hadn't assigned them anything new, and like she often did on days when neither work nor anything else required her time, Kris had spent the morning out on the water. And usually she loved it. She could spend hours just waiting for that perfect wave. This time she had lacked that usual enthusiasm, and she had lost interest surprisingly quickly. She had actually lacked most of her normal high-spirited enthusiasm throughout these last couple of days.

She walked up a bit on the beach before she laid down the board in the sand. Jadedly she sat down next to it, staring out over the widespread ocean before she sighed troubled. She knew why she felt so unenthusiastic, why she couldn't rejoice over the things she usually loved and why she wasn't happy over this small break the circumstances had given her and her partners. Things were simply not as they should be. She hadn't heard from or seen Kelly since the other day when Kelly so furiously had shoved her out from her car, driven away from her as she miserably was left behind on the sidewalk. And it troubled her. Not only was she concerned that she hadn't yet heard from her friend, but also she was worried over the way Kelly had acted. It really proved that Kelly was a lot more troubled than Kris first had thought. But despite the fact that Kelly apparently was troubled by something, Kris couldn't help but feel a bit angry as well. She knew she might have been pushing a bit too much the other day, but she really couldn't find a good reason for Kelly to act like she did, or for her to ignore her like she now obviously did. It really wasn't like her friend at all. Even if work hadn't required for them to meet as it usually did, it wasn't at all customary for them to let days pass by like this without talking to each other. Even on their spare time they often spent time together, or at least talk to each other over the phone. They had always done that, and not only her and Kelly, but all of them. She had always spent more time with her partners than they actually had to, that the job required of them. That was simply how it worked. If she didn't hear from one of her partner, she always talked to the other. But now there hadn't been a single word in days from anyone from the agency. And it felt strange. Maybe the fact that they were one less angel to hear from, also contributed to why it felt so strange. That she and Kelly hadn't talked since their fight, was however her main concern.

She had thought about calling her, but she had decided against it. It was not her call to make. Kelly was the one that had shut her out.

So instead she had waited. Waiting for her friend to make a move.

She looked down in the sand, and automatically she started drawing circles with her fingers in the warm sand. Even if she rarely complained when Charlie gave them days off, she now actually wished that he or Bosley would call telling her they got a new case. It would end this disturbing situation when she didn't know what was going on.

Lost in thoughts, she sat watching the waves crashing against the shore, and didn't notice when Kelly's mustang pulled up by her house.

Kelly lingered for just a second before she got out from the car. She had delayed herself for days to approach Kris since their fight, and now when she finally had get a grip on herself and come over, there was no use to linger another moment. She didn't really know what to say to her friend though, but she knew it was high time for her to say something, and to apologize. She had been feeling guilty ever since she got home that other day, and during the last couple of days her guilt had only appeared to increase. But still she hadn't done anything, instead just let the time pass her by. Because even if she wanted to tell Kris she was sorry, she simply dreaded the moment when she would, because then she knew she would have to explain why she had reacted like she had. And how to do that, she didn't know. So instead she had lingered. Maybe she had assumed that Charlie would call them in for a new case and that she then would have to face Kris again. And even if the very thought of getting a new case still wore her down, the perspective would at least make her deal with one of her problems. But Charlie hadn't called, nor had Bosley. So this morning she had finally taken the decision on her own, and headed over to Kris. She still hadn't figured out how she would explain certain things to her friend, but she knew she had to at least apologize to her.

She glanced over the beach, figuring her chances of finding her friend outside were pretty much as high as finding her inside. They had the day off after all, and if Kelly knew her friend right, Kris would most probably not be cocooned inside her house but instead somewhere out on the beach. And as expected, Kelly quickly noticed her wet suit-clad friend sitting next to her surf board a bit down the beach. A vague smile escaped Kelly's lips that her assumption hadn't been wrong, before she started walking over towards her friend.

When Kris showed no sign that she'd noticed Kelly walking up behind her, Kelly somewhat tentatively said, "Kris?"

Hearing her name, Kris automatically turned around. But when seeing Kelly there, Kris did of some reason not say anything, but instead just looked up at her with an empty gaze.

Not really knowing what to make of the expression on her friend's face, Kelly bit her lip uneasily. Maybe she had waited too long to apologize, she thought, annoyed at her own procrastination. But knowing there was only one thing to do, no matter how hard Kris might make it for her, she didn't let her concern bother her. Instead she gestured at the spot next to Kris, as if to ask if she could sit down. "May I?"

Kris nodded a bit listlessly, but as Kelly sat down next to her, slight signs of vitality slowly started to break through in her previously blank face. But still she didn't say anything, and instead just looked out over the water.

Not really knowing what to say, Kelly let silence prevail for a short moment.

"I'm sorry I haven't come by earlier," she then started honestly, and looked at her friend. "I wanted to, but…," she then continued, but as she realized she didn't really have an excuse, her words died out, as well as her eyes diverted. But knowing there really only was one way to say what she wanted to say, she tried again, "Well, I just want you to know that I'm sorry about the other day. I had no right to snap at you the way I did."

Kris tilted her head a bit uncomfortably and bent over to rest her arms on her knees, while looking down in the sand where her fingers yet again mechanically started making circles. "That's ok…," she then said, and even if she didn't know why, she sounded quite indifferently. She had after all waited, hoping, for Kelly to come by and talk to her about the other day, so why did she reject her now? But despite feeling annoyed of her own assumed apathy, she didn't do anything to show it. Instead it almost made her look even more uninterested in Kelly's confession.

Kelly frowned troubled, but not letting Kris' obvious resistance stop her, she continued, "No, it's not. I know I've been acting really badly, and I'm sorry. I really am." She now looked straight at Kris, really wanting to make sure Kris understood how sorry she was, while hoping she would accept her apology.

Feeling Kelly's eyes on her, Kris looked up, and seeing the sincerity in Kelly's eyes she could tell she really was sorry. And if that look was all that was needed, Kris' strange apathy she seemed to have adapted previously, eroded.

"Alright," Kris conceded, and even gave her friend a vague, but sincere, smile.

Sensing by Kris' smile that she forgave her, Kelly smiled gratefully. It was strange, sometimes they really didn't need to talk things out for them to understand each other. Things like a simple look, like now, were all that was required.

"But I'm sorry too," Kris then confessed and straightened her back up a bit, figuring she really owed her friend an apology as well. "I guess I was pushing a bit too much." She paused for awhile, before sighing heavily and looked over at her friend. "But you know me, never being able to let thing go…," she continued sarcastically, now instead feeling mostly annoyed at herself.

Kelly smiled understandingly. She knew indeed how Kris, or both the Munroe sisters for that matter, could be a bit intense at times. But this time she didn't blame her one bit. "Oh you don't have to feel bad about that Kris," she said convincingly. "You had all the right to. You were just trying to help and I was just too stubborn to let you."

Kris smiled, and not only because Kelly held no grudge against her, but because it really pleased her to hear that Kelly confessed that something had been troubling her. That was the cause for this whole situation after all, and even if Kelly apparently hadn't been ready to talk about it last time, Kris now got hopeful she was more willing to share it.

"And I really do appreciate you effort," Kelly continued sincerely. "Even if I had a strange way of showing it...," she added sarcastically, really annoyed with herself that she hadn't let her friend help her when she so kindly offered. Shamefully she looked back up at Kris.

Sensing a more cheerful tune was in order, Kris raised her eyebrows, and with a vague, but somewhat playful smile, she admitted facetiously, "well, I don't think I can disagree on that…"

Pleased that Kris, as so many times before, turned a moment of despondency to something brighter, Kelly let a small laughter escape her, as she gave Kris a friendly nudge in the side and smiled thankfully to her.

Happy to have lifted her friend's spirit, Kris let herself join in with Kelly's momentarily cheerfulness. But after awhile she turned serious again, "But just so you know, my offer from the other day still stands. If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm here."

"Alright," Kelly nodded and smiled. "Thanks," she then added sincerely.

Kris offered a comforting smile back, before they both fell silent.

Even if she didn't really want to, Kelly knew this was the moment for her to come clean about her troubles. She could simply not convince herself why she shouldn't, despite how much she might try. Kris deserved to know. And maybe, just maybe, it would actually help to talk about it. She took a deep breath as if to give her confident, before she looked at Kris. "Well, you were right the other day," she confessed, not really knowing how else to start. "Something has been bothering me."

Kris smiled vaguely, happy that Kelly finally was about to trust her with her problems. She watched her friend, waiting for her to go on. But when she didn't, but instead just sat there, looking down on her hands that was fidgeting on her knees, Kris reckoned she'd help her along. Determined she put a composed hand on her friend's. "Kelly…" she urged her to look at her. When she got eye contact, she offered an encouraging smile, "please, tell me."

"Well, to tell you the truth Kris…," Kelly sighed before she admitted honestly, "I don't know what it is." She shrugged her shoulders in annoyance. Even if she now finally was about to share her troubles with Kris, and had days to think about it, she simply didn't know what to tell her.

But knowing she had to say something, she went on automatically, "I've just been so tired of everything lately. Tired and confused. I didn't really know what to make out of it, but then when we waved Julie off at the airport the other day, I just somehow felt so jealous of her." She paused for a second, still annoyed that she'd been envious of Julie, before she continued sincerely, "that she could just get up and leave, just like that. When I felt so stuck." She looked at Kris, hoping she would understand what she was telling her, because Kelly sure didn't. Seeing Kris just waited for her to go on, Kelly sighed.

"I mean, she just left everything and went on with something else," she sighed hopelessly and looked down on her hands. "Like they all have. They have all just come and gone. But I'm still here," she continued a bit edgy, with a shrug mixed with a despair and agitation. Without really being able to stop herself she agitatedly carried on, exclaiming quite exasperated, "I was here more than five years ago when Charlie first opened this goddamn agency, and I'm still here!" Really worked up by that annoying feeling in her stomach, she gave the sand a light kick with her foot. It felt as if the answer for her problems was right there in front of her, bugging her, teasing her. But she just didn't want to accept it. She didn't want to admit to herself she wanted out.

Kris had just been sitting there, listening patiently at her friend, trying to understand. But as she could hear her friend getting all worked up, Kris looked at her bewildered, not at all being ready for this. "So what are you saying Kell? That you wanna leave?" she questioned her a bit too boldly than she had planned.

Kelly looked back at Kris, feeling quite bewildered herself. Even if she couldn't quite blame Kris for asking, she still hadn't quite expected it, and it had thrown her off guard. But mostly she was probably surprised to actually hear that question she had wondered about, but never really dared to answer.

She frowned troubled, calming herself down in the process, and as if her mind was one step ahead of her, she could hear herself silently answer, "No, I don't." Surprised what she heard, knowing it hadn't been quite true, she was quick to correct herself, "maybe."

She looked over at Kris, and feeling somehow her last comment wasn't quite the truth either, she just sighed heavily. "Or I don't know."

Kris didn't take much notice to Kelly's uncertainty. All Kris noticed was that Kelly apparently had given the idea of leaving a thought. She was considering leaving.

Kris sank down in her seat, feeling not only surprised but very much sad as well. She knew Kelly had been bothered with something, but she had not expected it to be something like this. She had just figured it was something she could help her deal with and that they hopefully would be able to move on from. Not that she wanted to leave. "Oh…," Kris said silently and looked down in the sand.

Kelly looked at Kris troubled. She hadn't planned on giving Kris the impression she wanted to leave, because she didn't want her to be bothered by it if Kelly wasn't sure. But that was clearly too late now. It was obvious Kris thought she wanted to resign. Anxious to explain herself, Kelly hurriedly went on, "I mean, I don't think I'm actually thinking about leaving, I'm just…" Not knowing how to go on, her words died out. "I'm just a bit confused about everything, that's all," she then finally continued with a sigh.

As if Kris hadn't heard a word of what Kelly just had said, Kris silently spoke. "You know I won't like it if you'll decide to resign, but I can't make you stay if you don't want to." She looked up at her friend, and Kelly could see the disappointment in her eyes. "And if you want to leave, I want you to tell me."

Kelly sighed troubled. "Listen, it's not like that," she started. "I just need to figure some stuff out." She went silent and looked down at her hands, not really knowing how to convince her friend not to be too concerned about it. "Please Kris, just bare with me for awhile," she then pleaded, before looking back up at her friend.

Kris however didn't say anything, nor did she look back at the pleading angel. No matter if Kelly would decide to stay, Kris couldn't help but feeling upset that she even considered not to. Maybe she hadn't any right to feel this way, but she did. The very thought of Kelly leaving felt so strange, so distant. While all of their other partners had left, Kelly was the one that always had stayed. It had always been the two of them staying, and Kris simply couldn't picture how it would be to not have Kelly as her partner.

Kelly just looked at her friend, wondering agitatedly what she was thinking, and what Kelly possibly could say to make her feel better. But not getting the chance to say anything the distant sound from a ringing phone suddenly interrupted her thoughts.

The two angels looked over at the house a bit absent-mindedly, but quickly brought back to reality Kris got up. In a way she was relieved the phone had interrupted them, and she couldn't make herself feel bad to leave Kelly behind sitting lonely on the beach, as she hurried over to the house to answer the phone.

Kelly watched her friend as she rushed over to the house. She sighed troubled. She didn't really know what to think of the outcome from the confession that she for days, weeks even, had dreaded to give Kris. Even if she knew there was more to her problems than she had said, she still hadn't managed to figure out what it was, and she knew she had told Kris everything she could tell. Even if it now felt as if it had come out all wrong.

Jadedly she got up from the sand, figuring she might as well join her friend at the house. She picked up the surf board her friend had left behind, and walked over to the house and leaned it towards the wall, before she quite wearily walked up the stairs.

As she reached the top stairs she saw her friend standing by the phone on the porch.

"Yeah, she's here," Kris said to the person in the phone, and gave Kelly a quick glance. But with an almost inaudibly sigh she a moment looked away, and instead focused on listening to the person on the other end. But not many moments past until she spoke again, "alright Bos, see you in half an hour."

Sounding as if the discussion on the phone with Bosley had ended, Kelly waited patiently for Kris to turn back to her.

But as if she didn't really wanted to hang up, Kris lingered with the phone in her hand. Slowly she then put it back on the table, but still with her hand on the receiver, Kris kept looking down on the phone. The very accustomed call from Bosley that a new case awaited them, had rarely felt as awkward as it now did. She looked up at Kelly with an uncomfortable gaze. "Time to go to work," she then said awkwardly, feeling distressingly aware that maybe Kelly now wasn't set for new cases. Almost a bit afraid of what she would see in her friend's eyes, Kris quickly diverted her own eyes. Instead she left Kelly standing alone by the railing as she hurried inside to put on some decent clothes, before they quite uncomfortably would head back to the office together.

So without really bringing up Kelly's possible resignation anymore, the two angels went back to work on their new case. Even if it was with somewhat of reluctance and awkwardness. But even if something of a tension appeared to develop between them, it didn't affect their usual professionalism, and their tight team work they had built up during years working together was as impeccable as always.

And while they were letting themselves be occupied with work, their potential new partner arrived to the city. It was not that she was back to accept Charlie's offer - she still wanted to give it some more thought - but the very notion of talking to Charlie earlier had given her the urge to return to one of the many cities she had once called her home. She had been wanting to go back for quite some time, had even planned to numerous of occasion, but it had simply never worked out. She was pleased that it now finally had. Maybe she wouldn't be back for good, but at least she would be back for a short while, and that thought alone was very much pleasant.

Her own annoying indecisiveness about Charlie's offer didn't even bother her now, as she a moment earlier had arrived at Los Angeles airport. First she had thought it would feel strange to come back - she had even been a bit nervous - but to now walk the ground of the much familiar airport, she was amazed at how at home she already felt. And much to her satisfaction the feeling had really made her pervious nervousness to subside.

Excited by her new confidence and eager to head in to the city, she walked towards the exit with determined steps. But the moment she opened the doors to walk outside a wall of stifling heat hit her, and instantly it threw her off her stride. Completely overwhelmed by the hot and sultry air, it took a moment before she managed to regain her senses and accustom herself with the thick air.

Still a bit taken aback, she didn't noticed when a taxi driver got out from one of the many taxis by the curb and approached her, "the heat got to you huh?"

A bit bewildered she looked up and seeing the middle-aged man looking at her with an understanding smile, she frowned a bit troubled. Apparently she looked as unaccustomed to the heat as she felt.

"Eh, yeah, seems like it," she then answered, feeling a bit annoyed that she got so affected by the climate she once was so used to. Maybe she wasn't as at home as she first thought after all.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," the man smiled comforting, before changing the subject, "need a cab?"

Happy to get going, and frankly also to get into an air-conditioned cab, she nodded. "Yeah, thanks," she said as she handed him her suitcase.

"It's not that bad now though," the man carried on cheerily, as he put the suitcase in the trunk of the car. "It's still spring. Just wait until mid-summer, then you get real heat."

Hearing the man obviously took her for an ignorant out-of-towner, she forced a smile. She remembered a time when she hadn't been able to even imagine that she once wouldn't call Los Angeles her home. But that had obviously changed. She frowned slightly uneasy by the thought, before she pushed it aside and got into the car.

A couple of minutes later they were on their way into the city, and as she watched the surroundings rush by outside the window, the nervousness that previously had subsided, started to make its way back to her again. Even if she recognized her surroundings like it had been yesterday she had seen it last, it still felt like ages ago. So many things had happened since last time, so much had changed. And she knew she had changed. That was probably the reason why she felt so nervous to be back. And why she yet hadn't given Charlie her final decision. But soon she would. Even if she loved to be back just for the sake of being back, there were indeed decisions to make, practicalities to sort out. But first she had family and friends to meet.