A/N: I've been so inspired lately and I just finished writing the fifth chapter of this story. I'm happy with its direction and let me just say: the slight cliffhanger at the end of this chapter is very worth it. And also, I know a few people must like Gabriel out there. He's going to make an appearance in the next one. Oh, and the angels do have a reason to get him back into hunting. We just won't hear about it until he actually starts again, which will be soon! Reviews are very appreciated!
Chapter 4: Break In Routine
Sam got up, showered and then stared at the handprint on his arm before getting dressed, just as he had for the past five days. He was still amazed to be alive, to be breathing air again. And he was happy about it, but the prices he was paying for it all? Part of him was wondering if it was really worth it. He gave up his brother, his old life, even his privacy.
He shook his head and brushed his teeth before dressing the rest of the way. "I have to stop thinking like this," Sam muttered to his reflection. Giving up on the mental war that was building in his mind, Sam opened the bathroom door and walked over to the dresser. The room was unusually quiet. Ashael wasn't saying anything to him, which he found strange.
Turning to look where she usually sat on the couch, he found she was lying on her side with her back against the couch. Her eyes were shut and she looked to be sleeping.
Sam was a little surprised at that. He turned and focused his attention on his dirty laundry, gathering it all in a ball and moving carefully over to the door of the room. Just as he went to put a hand on the door knob, he heard a voice.
"Where are you going, Sam?"
He froze for a moment, only to look over his shoulder and see the angel staring at him with bright olive colored eyes. "I, uh… was going to do some laundry."
Ashael sat up and seemed to have a twinkle of something Sam didn't quite recognize in her eyes. "I'll come with you."
Shutting his eyes and exhaling, Sam said, "Ash, look, I know it's your job…"
"I understand," she said, cutting him off. "I will…try sleeping again but you need to come right back."
Sam knew this wasn't a request. It was a command. And he understood that he was basically her job. He'd dealt with things like that once in a while on hunts. He gave a nod and a small smile before leaving the room. Once outside, he pulled the door shut behind him and let out a chuckle. He convinced an angel to sleep, and he was allowed to do something on his own for once. Not wasting another minute, Sam hurried to the laundry room next door to the motel.
It didn't take long to do his small load of laundry, but he delayed a little just to stay out of the room and stand outside in the fresh morning air. He walked back to the room about an hour later. At first, he looked to the couch and assumed he'd see Ashael sleeping. But she wasn't there.
Instead, she was on his bed. The black trench coat was draped over the end of the bed and her boots neatly on the floor. Sam couldn't help but smile at how peaceful she looked. Keeping quiet, he put his clean clothes on top of the dresser before sitting on the couch.
She watched him for the past five days, now he'd return the favor and make sure Ashael stayed safe as she slept.
Falling asleep wasn't her intention. The only reason Ashael gave it a try was because Sam asked it of her. So when she actually lay on the couch and relaxed while he was in the shower, it was calming. When Sam tried leaving, she didn't like the idea one bit; but she'd been tapping into his thoughts and noticed he felt trapped.
So Ashael let him leave to do the laundry on his own. The whole sleeping thing was still fairly curious to her so she did the same routine she'd seen Sam do once. Taking off her jacket and shoes, then lying down on the bed in the exact same position as he did.
She knew her vessel was tired after the long journey in saving Sam from Hell, so when she truly fell asleep, she didn't fight it. Never did she expect to be asleep for long…
Sitting up, Ashael looked at Sam curiously. He was sitting on the couch with a small smile across his face. The sight was rare to her and the angel gave something of a smile back. "Hello Sam."
"Ashael, how was sleeping?"
"It was…long, almost boring. Relaxing and peaceful though."
Sam gave his head a nod and uncrossed his arms. "That's good. Did you…dream?"
She tilted her head and got up off the bed, arms staying still at her sides. "I did not. My vessel may have though."
"Your vessel. Who exactly was she, Ash?" The smile on his face fell. It was obvious he was feeling empathetic for her vessel.
Ashael sat back down on the bed, folding her hands in her lap. "My vessel…was an interesting woman. She didn't have a family of her own yet because she was scared. But mainly, she was hoping to do some good for the world somehow. Her father passed two years ago, leaving her mother and her one younger sister. She prayed for a while and then I came and asked for her to be my vessel."
He nodded, interested in what he was hearing. "But her name. What was it?"
"Her name was Cassandra Lane."
After that, Sam went silent. He just looked at her with a concerned expression for a long period of time. The angel could only assume he was reflecting on his time as Lucifer's vessel, and that was almost ten times worse. He grimaced a little, rolling his shoulders and leaned back into the couch to stare up at the ceiling quietly.
Sam felt…horrible. A woman doesn't get to live out her life anymore because he had to be rescued from Hell. Not even that, but because he triggered the Apocalypse. Angels wouldn't be on Earth if it weren't for him. He switched his glance from the ceiling and let his eyes move down, keeping his head still in its reclined position. He wondered what kind of person Cassandra was, where she liked to go, what she liked to do… Anyone else would've said the thoughts were pointless, but Sam knew otherwise. He knew that deep down, Cassandra was still alive. Just like with Castiel and his vessel, Jimmy.
He sat up, running his hands down his face in an attempt to try and clear his head. Sam looked to Ashael and found she was still sitting and watching him. His eyes gazed over her and her attire in a more analytical manner. Did Cassandra like bright colors? Did she ever dress fancy? Where did she shop?
The guilt kept hitting him and Sam squeezed his eyes shut. "Ash, can we talk about something else?" he asked, keeping his voice low.
She gave a nod and asked, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Anything."
The room went silent for a few minutes until Ashael said, "Hunting."
"Hunting?" Sam looked up at the small topic. "What about hunting?"
"Do you miss it?"
He couldn't bring himself to answer.
"Why don't you go back to it?" she pressed.
Sam let out a breath and said, "I miss it, but it wouldn't be the same without Dean. And…I don't know what's keeping me back. Probably what I said about Dean."
"What if I went with you?"
"You mean, replaced him?"
Ashael tilted her head with a small meaningful smile. "I could never replace your brother, Sam. We both know that."
He nodded with a smile forming as he thought about previous hunts that he and Dean did before the Apocalypse, before he died, before Dean died… All his memories rushed at him and he had to gasp, eyes widening for a second.
"Are you alright?" The angel was next to him in a blink with a rustle of feathers, very much invading his personal space. "Was that too much?"
Sam turned and looked at her with a confused expression. "You… You did that?"
She furrowed her brow and lowered her head. "I'm sorry. You just seemed like you missed him. I didn't think it would overwhelm you…"
He shook his head and panted a little, breath sounding somewhat ragged. "It's fine, I just… That was… Holy crap," he said through a half laugh. Sam grinned at her. "I wanna get back to hunting. I'm just not ready yet."
"When you are," she told him, "I will be at your side." Ashael put a hand on his that were laced together in front of him.
Nodding, he smiled weakly at her one last time before getting up and walking into the bathroom.