Jacob

Being around Raeleigh wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be. I felt like I could be myself around her-be the way I used to be. Of course, there were moments when my thoughts took hold, consuming my mind of troubled memories of…well, her, and the trembling would begin.I missed her, yeah, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to think about her anymore. I didn't want to have the urge to fight for her any longer-only to have the same outcome…every time, "It's always been him."

I couldn't help myself, though. Every now and again I'd call, just to see how she was, just to hear her voice one more time. But instead of her voice…it was his…and I only found myself slamming the phone repetitively against the base, hoping maybe he'd feel the pain I felt. In turn, the trembling began…only it wasn't anger that I felt. It was nothing but pure pain, heartbreak. I tried to hold it together most times, but others…I broke. I broke into what felt like a thousand pieces, with the inability to pull myself together.

So I ran. Ran away as fast as I could without even slowing down to look over my shoulder. The guys, of course, kept in contact with me and I was thankful that they left her out. Of course I knew they were only being courteous. I knew she called, asking everyone, especially Seth, where I'd been, if I was okay. I knew she'd seen the "Missing Boy" posters hanging from the posts around town. I knew she missed me…but I didn't want her to.

After a few months, I came back. I came back hoping I could see things differently. Everything changes and yet nothing changes at all. Bella was still the same. Human, I mean. But I knew that her chocolate brown eyes, pink cheeks…heartbeat…it would all come to an end in just a matter of weeks, days. Where beautiful memories only turned into horrific nightmares. The ability to love her caused nothing more than sanity as our friendship took hold, controlling our hearts, feelings, and anything else it wanted. Where loving her became pleasurable. Unfortunately, her inability of letting go of him caused nothing more than insanity as her nightmares took hold, corrupting her mind with reckless ideas, and lies. Where loving me became a nuisance.

Everyone was glad for the change in scenery and character when Raeleigh and Nina moved in about a month later. She was typically a happy person, always smiling and laughing, reminding me of myself when the monster inside me wasn't in control. She carried that happiness wherever she went and shared it with whoever she wanted-stranger or not-she warmed them, loved them unconditionally. How beautiful that generosity made her glow.

I was thankful for the distraction Raeleigh provided, feeling her unconditional caring for me, for my thoughts and my feelings toward them. I was thankful, yes, but something as simple as a distraction couldn't keep the secrets, the legends from happening, or how tight I'm bound. What irritated me most was the fact that although Raeleigh was one-hundred percent Quileute, she had no clue about the story behind our tribe. The same particular story that I once believed to be nothing more than a myth. She had no idea that her cousin, Sam Uley, was indeed a werewolf. She knew nothing; completely oblivious to the supernatural.

I waited for that day, nonetheless. Waited for the day when her anger became too much for her to control-the trembling, the rugged breathing…the explosion. For someone to have to share the same horrific fate as the rest of us, wasn't something we believed to be enjoyable…especially for someone as sweet as Raeleigh.

"You know, your lip's going to drop off if you keep gnawing on it like that," she said simply, her eyes still focused on the lunch menu. After a short moment, she met my gaze and sighed softly, "Don't you like having both lips?"

I chuckled as I felt my cheeks turn a bright red hue. "Sure, sure."

"What're you thinking about?"

You, I thought. "Nothing," I lied with a small shake of my head and a shrug. But she knew better. She's got those kind of eyes that can look right through the bullshit, to the good in someone. "What?" I asked, noticing her eyes never leaving my form.

"Pardon my French, but you're a real shitty liar," she told me, matter-of-factly. Honesty was such a big thing for Raeleigh, that revealing lies was as easy as breathing for her. It was like she knew what to look for in someone's gestures when they did so. This was a trait she inherited from her parents. "Why can't you just man-up and tell me what your problem is?"

I furrowed my brows, "Have you ever had a secret?" I asked, my tone much more firm now.

Her face scrunched up in pure confusion. "What the hell does that have to do-"

"One that wasn't yours to tell?" I continued, interrupting her impatient inquiry. The once confused look smoothed out with ease and her once wandering eyes were now fixated on mine. "That's what it's like for me. Exactly that, only worse. You have no idea how tight I'm bound."

"There's got to be something you can do, Jake," she started, her tone gentle. "I mean…"

"It's not something I can run away from," I told her, cutting her off once again. My tone was more firm than I wanted it to be. "We're in it for life."

"We're?" She asked baffled my by wording. "Who's we?"

I practically swallowed my own stomach when I realized what I said. Blood filled my cheeks and I suddenly lost my appetite. "Um…"

"Sam knows about this too, don't 'e?" She asked, wound up. "And the boys." I remained silent. There was absolutely no point in lying to her-she'd figure it out before I'd have the chance to think one up. "Ugh! So that's what he meant about the story," she said to herself.

"Um…what story?" I asked-hoping she remained oblivious.

"I don't know, he wouldn't exactly tell me. He told me that I wouldn't understand even if he had." I exhaled silently in relief. I swore I could feel the sweat dripping from my neck also. Silence. It consumed us inevitably, and for the first time, uncomfortably. Thankfully, it slowly lightened up after our waitress, Anna, finally decided to take our orders. "I'm sorry I got angry with you, Jake. You didn't deserve it."

I smiled and chuckled at her. "Don't beat yourself up over it," I told her with a small shake of my head. "Really, it's not that big o'deal."

After lunch, Raeleigh and I went to Port Angeles to buy some paint for her bike at the nearest shop, and luckily she wasn't too picky when it came to color. She also had to buy the instruments in order to paint the vehicle correctly without making it look homemade. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the house, all the guys-including Leah-were there. "Hey guys, what's up?" I asked, climbing out of the car. Raeleigh gave them all a small wave before grabbing her items from the bed of the truck, and then joined the circle. Leah and Raeleigh, thankfully, were closer than we thought they'd be. Their bond was pretty tight-making Leah much more pleasant in wolf-form and human-form, leaving all thoughts of Sam out.

The guys, especially Sam, were very grateful for that distraction. Raeleigh isn't like most girls though. Her beauty was mind-blowing, yes, but her personality was hardly girly. She wore makeup daily, and wore clothes that hugged her body almost perfectly, but her halo was merely held up by her horns. I truly admired the confidence, determination, even her stubbornness. And I think Embry admired it as well. He practically blushed when she'd merely glance at him. Me and the guys picked on him about it-due to the fact, he hadn't imprinted yet.

"Bella came by," Leah started off gruffly and crossed her arms before continuing further. She never liked Bella, and I already wanted her to shut up. I tried to not let it get to me but Raeleigh already noticed. She noticed a lot. Thankfully she didn't act upon it. "…asked for Raeleigh."

I grunted in response, almost grateful that Bella wasn't looking for me…for once. Raeleigh seemed excited about her visitor and a little too excited for my liking. "I can see Charlie's house from mine…I haven't seen her. At all, in fact."

"She's always with that Cullen kid," Embry explained to her, his cheeks burning bright red the moment Raeleigh looked over at him. He quickly composed himself and continued, "I'm honestly surprised he even let her on the rez."

"Let her?" Paul asked, incredulously. I sighed heavily, fed up with the nonsense talk of Bella. "Yeah right, like that guy lets her do anything…especially when it comes to seeing us."

Quil snorted in disgust, "That guy pisses me off."

"Swears up and down he'll do anything to make her happy but won't even let her do something as simple as visit her best friend!" Jared called out. "What a friggin' rip off."

Raeleigh chuckled a little in confusion, "Wait, just…hold on a minute," she called out and stood in the center of the circle. "What exactly did the Cullens do to piss you guys off?" We all remained silent, though she waited a long while. "Oh okay, I get it," she started-a smile slowly appearing on her face. She turned to me and crossed her arms, "Is this part of the secret too?"

Suddenly, eight pairs of eyes were on me. I felt small. No. I felt smaller than small. Tinier than tiny. "Dammit Jake! Can't you just keep your freakin' mouth shut for once!" Paul roared loudly, stepping toward me.

"Hey, wait a minute…" Raeleigh started sweetly, resting her hand on Paul's chest. "He hasn't-"

Paul was fuming now. If he were a cartoon, steam would be blowing out of his ears. He paid no mind to Raeleigh either, ignoring her soft touch against his trepid flesh. "Was the first warning not good enough, Black, or do you need me to remind you?" He asked, referring back to the day when Bella first met the guys and Paul phased when he learned she knew our secret. He stepped passed Raeleigh, now only inches away from me.

My upper lip quivered in anger, "I…haven't…told her…anything," I growled-my voice shaking. I tried to keep my cool, but Paul angered me so easily.

He growled, "Don't be stupid, Jake. She's a smart girl…she'll figure it out sooner rather than later…all because of your big mouth!"

And that was all she wrote. I reared back and slammed my fist into Paul's cheekbone, feeling the bone cracking beneath me. He fell to the ground, stunned at first, but quickly collected himself. I reared back again, but was suddenly slammed into the ground. I instantly knew it was Raeleigh when I felt her cool skin against mine and when I looked up to look at her, she fought to hold Paul back, as he trembled violently above her. I was scared for Raeleigh as Emily's scarred face flashed through my mind and I knew it'd done the same for Sam as well. "Paul! That's enough!" she roared, giving him one last hard shove with the left side of her body, causing him to fall hard on his behind.

The trembling for the both of us slowed, thanks to Raeleigh's boldness. She was stupid for doing what she did-but I was thankful. If Paul had lost it, she'd know our secret just by his stupidity. She kept an eye on Paul, her breathing fast and rugged. "It's true what Jake says. He hasn't said a thing. I know absolutely nothing."

Paul stood up, obviously embarrassed for being tackled by a girl-notably, a girl much more petite than Leah, or even Emily-brushed the dirt off his shirt and approached me, offering a hand. I took it without hesitation and he pulled me up. "Sorry," he grumbled lowly to Raeleigh.

Sam glowered at him and approached his cousin. "You ok? Your cheek is bleeding."

"Yeah," she replied, not a ounce of anger in her tone. Sam tried to brush the excess blood dripping down her cheek, but she pulled away from him. "What're you doing? Stop, I'm fine." She crossed her arms and glanced around, looking at each and every one of us for a short moment before speaking, "I'm not sure if I want to know this secret since it just so happens to drive you all insane."

"Raeleigh…please, just understand…" Sam started firmly, holding his hands out in defense.

"Understand," she repeated in disbelief. "What exactly do you want me to understand, Samuel? All of you tell me nothing when I ask, and when you do start talkin', you make absolutely no freaking sense. And you want me to understand?" she asked. "Do you realize, at all, how ludicrous that sounds?"

Samuel? Talk about boldness. Sam's never been fond of people referring to him by full name, but I guess he never really had a choice when it comes to Raeleigh. She's too stubborn.

"I know you're angry with me, and I'm sorry, but there is no way I can explain this to you. It's not that I don't want to…it's that I can't," he explained, his tone still soft compared to hers. "You'll understand one day, I promise," he told her, trying hard to sound reassuring, but Raeleigh didn't want any part of it. I couldn't blame her though. She always hated secrets or surprises. Sam grabbed her hand gently, but pulled away.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Sam," she spoke softly and walked away. Sam tried following her, but Jared grabbed his arm, stopping him.

"She's fine, Sam. Let 'er breathe."