A/N: Uhh. If I haven't replied to your review, it's only because I'm miserable with computers despite being such a nerd. I check my email in a hurry, then forget to reply later, and then I have no idea if I've already replied to this person or that. So... collectively, thank you, everyone. ;_; You deserve a big, warm hug and a huge piece of your favorite cake/whatever you like, because I was thoroughly discouraged after publishing the first chapter, and now you've brought at least some of my inspiration back. Unfortunately, I'm still going to be very, very slow. Most of my inspiration is elsewhere and I'm having a lot of troubles with this story, BUT I still like it very much and hope to keep updating.

Anyways, thank you so much.

Chapter 3

Sleep

After accepting Light's invitation for tea, L had sneaked out of the Takada Manor, smuggling Matt away from the gory scene and police interviews under the pretence of taking Light's unconscious sister home to recover so she could be interrogated later. On the way, they had barely exchanged a word aside from explaining the situation to Matt, who had only known that something bad had happened.

Two hours later found L staring at the unmoving, sleeping form of his brother with accusing eyes.

"That was not necessary," he informed Light, reaching out to arrange the boy into a more comfortable position on the couch. They were drinking tea in candle light in the sitting room of Yagami Manor; naturally paranoid, L had sniffed his tea before sipping on it, and was now cursing himself for not checking Matt's cup as well.

Light smiled slightly. It looked a little strained, as if the younger man was attempting to push the grief of losing a friend to the back of his mind and block it with the smile; only a little, though, for Light was far too good an actor to allow his sorrow show on his face unless it was a part of his plan. "He's just a kid, and the day has been very heavy. Maybe he did just fall asleep."

"I can smell the drug in his tea, Light."

Light cocked his head with a puzzled expression on his face, leaning back on his chair. "Ah, but you see," he said, apparently deciding to spread his cards on the table, "the tea had a faint scent of something foreign already when I went to add the sleeping drug." The pale hand stroking Matt's red locks halted for a second before resuming what it had been doing, now in a slightly defensive manner. "I have merely granted the poor kid a good night's sleep, so the real question is what you are keeping him on."

L felt cornered. Had he been that careless? No, he realized – he had merely forgotten that Light's mind was working on the same level as his, and what was enough to fool anyone else would never convince his childhood friend. All cards on the table it was, then. After all, Matt was in deep slumber and wouldn't know a thing for at least six hours. Sayu had been taken to her room as soon as they had arrived, and Light had sent the servants off to bed or to some errand as well, so there was no danger of being overheard.

Light was the only one he could imagine sharing this story with.

"I'm keeping him drugged," he started slowly, and Light's eyebrows shot upwards – apparently he had not expected L to tell his secret so soon, "to help him suppress a couple of... recent memories. The conditions in which I found him were... terrifying, at best. Basically, the drug affects his subconscious; he has already pushed those memories to the back of his mind to protect himself, but the drug should stop them from emerging in nightmares. In the beginning, the memories resurfaced and caused a panic attack every time he reacted strongly to something, so I chose a drug that would have a calming effect as well."

Light frowned, nodding and looking at the redhead. He was no longer toying with L; his expression showed genuine concern. He knew L had a soft spot for abandoned or maltreated children, but he also knew the young earl had himself been through enough abuse to not be affected by anything minor. What had happened to Matt to make L take such extreme actions to protect his mind?

"That explains why he didn't freak out at the party like everyone else," the auburn-haired man concluded before locking his golden eyes with L's charcoal ones. "Would you care to tell me what happened? This seems very uncharacteristic of you."

The raven-haired earl hesitated only for a moment. He had already decided to tell Light. "A few months ago," he began in a quiet voice, lowering his gaze to look at Matt rather than Light's observing eyes, "I was in France, trying to negotiate with an old acquaintance of my father. He was unwilling to agree to the deal, and I had to accompany him to numerous dinner parties and get-togethers to get onto his good side." He decided to leave it out that he had been trying to coax information, rather than a financial deal, out of the despicable old nobleman. "One night, he and his business partners went out to celebrate, and I was taken along. I knew that the place was a brothel, but... I only realized what kind of a brothel it was when the children were brought to our lounge."

By now, Light's face had turned very pale. "The children...?" he gasped, his shocked gaze turning to Matt.

The white hand on the boy's locks stopped and remained there, as if to protect him from Light's eyes. "Yes," L whispered, and even after all this time he found that his mouth had become dry and his heart had grown cold at the memory. Taking a sip of his tea to wet his lips he continued. "Their ages ranged from seven to fifteen." He shuddered slightly as the image of the children flashed in his mind: both boys and girls, some dressed in the clothes of the opposite sex, all standing there with empty, tired eyes and waiting to be picked by one of their guests. "They were kept drugged to make them agreeable – and to prevent them from escaping, because the drug they used was highly addictive. I was lucky they hadn't been able to get Matt completely hooked yet; it wasn't too hard to change the harmful drug into something more helpful."

"Figures," Light muttered through his teeth. "I had heard of places like that... but to think people actually go there..."

Suddenly a tiny smile, oddly childish and cruel at the same time, rose onto L's pale lips. "Well, this particular place is currently under some heavy construction... You see, there was a fire soon after I left. Very strange. It was incredibly lucky that all the children were saved... sadly, a few customers, along with the owner of the place, failed to escape the fire. The man who took me there was among them. Very sad. Very strange."

"How unlucky," Light replied dryly. "And how about the poor children who lost their home?"

"Oh, there is a place in Winchester..."

"... where, surprisingly, you have spent your later teen years in. What an odd coincidence."

"Odd indeed."

Light chuckled slightly, but then the smile slipped off his lips, and he turned his attention back to Matt. The boy was sleeping peacefully, completely unaware of the discussion that took place in the room – probably unaware of the subject of their discussion as well, if L's drug worked as it should. He was very pale, much like his brother, and the red locks curling over his face made his skin look almost translucent in the candle light. "So is Matt... was he...?"

L started shaking his head even before he spoke, serious again. "Not for long, at least. He had only been there for a few days; as the youngest, I got to choose my... company first, and I picked him because his eyes were still alive. They hadn't been able to break him yet." He exhaled tiredly, sipping on his tea, and then putting it back on the table; it had gone cold. "One of the bright sides about being rich is that I was able to get us a private room, where we could talk undisturbed until my time was up. When I left, I already knew I had to get that child out of that place, so I spent the rest of the night making some preparations. The next evening, I went back to buy him free -"

"You bought him?" Light wrinkled his nose.

"Yes, Light, I did, and if I hadn't, someone else would still be buying him every night for a couple of hours."

The raven-haired man's sudden fury hung heavily in the air, until Light nodded, muttering an apology. L's anger faded and was replaced with a slightly disturbed expression. "Unfortunately someone had already bought him for the night. Several someones, actually. Waving a thick stack of money in front of the greedy owner's face spoke volumes for me, and I got the permission to leave with Matt immediately, so I went to get him...

He paused, a distant look in his eyes, probably thinking back to that night. "I still don't know for sure what happened in that room. When I got there, two of the men were dead – whatever madness had suddenly stricken them, it drove them to kill each other. The third one was still alive, but bloodied and beaten, as if he had fought for his life against the other two. He – he seemed to believe that since he had survived, Matt now belonged to him."

The dark-haired earl trailed off; his long, white fingers entwined themselves with Matt's hair for a moment. Then he released the fiery locks, as if he couldn't stand touching them anymore, and reached for the cold teacup, cradling it in his hands. Light waited patiently – not sure if he did so because he was too shocked to say anything, or because he wanted to give the other man some time.

"I shot him," L finally said in a hollow voice.

And Light couldn't fool even himself: it wasn't disapproval or disgust he felt at the man's confession. It was pride. "That's my L," he said, very softly.

L smiled a little and opened his mouth to say something; but at that moment, a young maid came in and asked in French if they wanted more tea. They declined; but L requested for a blanket for Matt – in clear, fluent French, to Light's slight surprise. L had hardly spoken two words of French until his fifteenth birthday; the Lawliets had originated from northern France, and refusing to learn the language of his ancestors had been one of the few ways in which young L had been able to rebel against his father.

The maid took away their teacups, not even batting an eye at the fact that they were all half-full, and returned after a while to bring the requested blanket. After confirming that her help was no longer required she curtsied, wished them a good night, and retired to the chambers of the servants.

L got up and bent to drape the blanket carefully over Matt's sleeping form, tucking the corner of the fabric under his chin in a clumsy way that gave away his inexperience. Light watched him quietly, marveling this new, different L – the one who looked like he'd been deprived of all friendly human contact for so long that he no longer knew what to do when feelings like affection managed to snake their way into his closed heart.

He got up, walking to stand close to his childhood friend's hunched form. L looked up and straightened his back almost completely as he felt the younger man's hand touch his shoulder. Face to face, they stared at each other for a long while; Light's hand raised to caress L's cheek, and the familiarity of the situation brought L back to what they had been talking about on the balcony.

"I didn't throw her through that window," he said quietly; the hand on his cheek didn't falter. Slowly, Light spread his fingers and slid them along the other man's skin, burying them in his black hair. "... Dr Mikami can confirm that."

This time, Light did stop, blinking. "Mikami? But wasn't he..."

"... Studying? Oh yes." A mirthless smile graced the earl's lips for a moment. "But not in another town, like he told everyone. Our family has always been well-acquainted with medical studies, drugs and poisons... and of course, my dear father's more violent tendencies offered a young doctor-in-training numerous opportunities to try his skills in practice. He was tending to me when she died, Light. You can ask him. I don't know who it was, but it can't have been me."

Light was momentarily speechless. Why, it only made sense that his stable and luxurious life would turn into a confused mess the moment this man walked back into his life! He had been so sure – no, he had known L had done it... and what was he supposed to believe now? But this... this made sense. The old earl had been the kind of man who would beat his own son until he couldn't move because he thought the boy had done something terribly wrong...

… And besides, his fingertips were still moving in small circles along the raven-haired man's scalp, and his hair was soft and feathery on his skin, and L's eyes were drifting closed at the feeling of the gentle touch, and somehow Light couldn't bring himself to care about that foolish maid anymore – it had been her fault that L Lawliet had been wrenched away from him all those years ago, so maybe she had deserved to die like that...

"Is that why you're really here?" Light whispered as he slowly pulled the other man closer. "To find out who killed the maid and staged you? Or to find Kira... Deneuve?"

L's eyes were fully closed now, and his lips stretched slowly into a small smile. "I knew you would figure it out," he sighed contently, tilting his head slightly to give the other man a better access to the side of his head. "Mm... Both. Or rather, Deneuve is here to catch Kira... but L has merely returned home and intends to clear his reputation." His eyes flickered open for a second, the dark, mysterious orbs peering at Light for a fleeting moment. "After all, I have someone to look after, now. I need to actually consider my..."

He trailed off. Getting jerked forward by his jacket and kissed fully on the lips could do that to even the most unemotional of men.

L wasn't sure what it was. Oh, he knew it was a kiss – after all, it wasn't their first – but try as he might, his furiously working mind couldn't determine what kind of a kiss it was. It was slow and careful – the way Light held his chin with his fingers was just as delicate as the fluttering feeling in his chest – and it was desperate, because L could feel his own fingers hooking themselves in Light's clothes as if to say 'Don't let go', and it was sweet and it was loving just as the way Light's lips moved against his so very gently, asking and not demanding an entrance; and it was passionate, like the tight grip Light had on his raven black hair, and rough with all the strength L used to pull Light closer to himself -

… And in any case, while his mind had been processing the quality of the first kiss, it had turned into two, and then into three, and then into several more.

Later, when he thought about it, L still couldn't figure out where he had gotten the strength, the willpower, to speak with those lips trailing from the corner of his mouth to the side of his neck and with those hands skimming across his lithe body. "W-we should leave," he heard himself gasp.

Light's lips, teeth and tongue were dancing on his skin. "Yes, you're right," he managed to whisper between the kisses. "We can't stay here..."

"No," L said, tightening his grip on Light's shirt, not knowing whether he was pulling the man closer or pushing him away. "Matt and I... we should leave."

Light stopped and turned to look at his friend, shocked enough to actually let it show. "You can't be serious," he blurted out.

"Light, we haven't seen each other for years," L tried to reason, though he had hard time explaining to himself why he would want to do such a thing. "We have both changed in seven years, and I – I would like to start anew... You don't even know me right now."

Light blinked. "What are you talking about? If it had been up to me, this would have happened seven years ago! After you left, I would have given anything to have you back, and now that you are here I'm suddenly not allowed to touch you?"

L took a deep breath and finally managed to untangle his fingers from Light's jacket. "Light, you also believed that that person – the L you missed and wanted to return to you – had committed murder for revenge," he said quietly. "Too much has happened since then. I'm not the same L anymore, and I would rather not continue on his footsteps."

The auburn-haired nobleman fell silent, closed his eyes and sighed before finally, reluctantly, letting the other man go. "Fine, I can see your point. If you want a fresh start, that's what I'll give you. I did believe that time had changed my feelings for you, but... it would seem that I was wrong. But if you'd rather wait to make sure, that's fine by me."

L gave him a small, wistful smile. "Thank you, Light. Apparently I was right to trust you to understand... even after all these years." He glanced at Matt. "We'd better head to the Lawliet Castle... I want to settle in and start a whole new life here."

"Oh," Light grinned a little sheepishly, "I sent your servants to sleep... I honestly thought you were going to stay, especially after the boy fell asleep as well..."

The young earl frowned a little at that, but couldn't be angry at his friends embarrassed expression. "I'll drive," he said, shrugging slightly. "You can send them to the Castle tomorrow. Don't look so insulted... it's just that I have this feeling... that we should go home tonight."

Light studied him for a moment, but now L avoided his eyes, so he gave up and shrugged his shoulders as well. "Alright. Let me get someone to ready your carriage..."

A servant was sent to take care of the task; soon he returned to inform that the carriage was ready to leave. Before L could react, Light had scooped the sleeping redhead into his arms, blanket and all, and insisted on carrying him out. Matt was positioned inside the carriage, as comfortably as possible, and L headed to the driver's seat. Before he could climb up, Light stopped him, turned him around and stole one more kiss; one that L found himself eagerly responding to.

"I suppose we'll be seeing each other a lot because of the case," Light said as he helped the other man up.

L chuckled half-heartedly. "Yes, another case that isn't actually ours to solve, if you ask Mr Lester... There is something oddly familiar in this situation."

Light widened his amber eyes and blinked innocently. "What do you mean? Every case in this town is ours, L. Whatever would they do without us?"

L smiled thinly, thinking about the corpse of Misa Amane and the unnerving fact that she – one of his rare childhood friends – had died the same day he had returned. "They just might live happily ever after," he muttered. "Good night, Light. We'll meet tomorrow."

The head butler of the Lawliet Castle was still awake when they arrived, as if he had been expecting them. Knowing Quillish Wammy, L wouldn't have been all that surprised if that was the case, even though he hadn't announced his return beforehand.

"Welcome home, sir," the man greeted him as he scrambled into the hall with Matt on his arms. Another servant darted from the darkness and lifted the boy from his grasp before heading upstairs. "We have prepared a room for the young master next to your chambers," Quillish continued, motioning two young boys to go take care of the carriage, the horses and the luggage.

Ah, so he had somehow known that L was going to return tonight, and bring along an addition to the Lawliet family...

"Would you like to have a cup of tea or maybe a bath before retiring for the night?"

"No, thank you," he replied, ascending the stairs two at a time already as he spoke. "I'm very tired; I think I will head straight to bed."

"Very well, sir. Sleep well." Quillish bowed and left to finish his work; L wondered if the man ever slept. At least he hadn't changed at all in the seven years he had been away; and he acted like he hadn't even noticed such an amount of time had passed. It was almost as if he had merely returned from a short visit to a distant relative somewhere in the countryside...

Lawliet...

He blinked, glancing around himself in the empty corridor. He felt like he had heard something – like a distant whisper, or maybe the sound of the wind whistling... After all, this was a very old castle. Oh, it was probably just the wind.

After checking on Matt – still fast asleep with an unusually peaceful expression on his young face – the earl locked himself in his own room, deciding to actually go to sleep, for once. He could feel his body begging for it; after all, he hadn't slept for two or three nights – or days, for that matter.

What he hadn't thought about was where he would sleep. His bed, though it had clearly been cleaned and dusted just moments ago, had last hosted him seven years ago when he had been beaten beyond the ability to move by his own father... and before that – oh, God...

Lawliet...

Something tickled at the edge of his consciousness; a shiver ran down his spine, and suddenly the heat that had began to rise at the thought of Light was gone, just as quickly as it had come. Frowning slightly and shaking his head to clear his mind, the young earl changed into night clothes – apparently Quillish had taken the freedom to refill his wardrobe – and crawled into the bed.

What a way to return... welcome home, indeed.

And when he closed his eyes and drifted into sweet slumber, he thought he could almost catch a sing-a-song voice just beyond his hearing...

Lawliet, Lawliet...

... why so quiet?

Once again, I have Kaori Yuki to thank for some of the ideas here. Hope you liked it and weren't too weirded out by... anything. :D Please review to prevent the depression from rounding back on me?