A Troubled Girl's Dream

Everyone has their fair share of things that they regret doing in the past. Rinoa was one of those people. Except, she wouldn't really call it a regret, if someone asked her about it. Even if her actions could have cost her, her life. It was actually the reason why her mother had decided to take her and move away from Plymouth, Michigan in the first place. It was also one of the reasons why her parent's marriage fell apart.

Every day she hated herself more and more for the pain she caused all the kids who didn't deserve the trouble. In order to hide her own turmoil, she had to put down everyone else around her. Particularly the outsiders. They were the easiest targets. The only thing about that was... She was just like them. The insults she threw at them was a reflection of how she saw herself. It didn't make her feel better, she just didn't want to deal with the pain... So a distraction was necessary.

So what if someone else suffers?

No... It still killed her to even think about the pain that she put the vulnerable kids in. She gave credit to the ones who didn't put up with her shit, but it becomes addicting when the other ones react to it in fear. It's distracting, but when she got home... There was nothing else but for her to lock herself away in her room. She was already getting used to the booming voices that normally came from the living room, where her parents usually argued. If it wasn't the yelling, she heard things being thrown at the walls. Glass shattering, walls being dented by her dad's fists... She counted three holes in the last seven days.

What else was new?

It was the same as any other afternoon. She sat in her room with an open notebook with lined paper staring up at her. Staring back at the blank sheets, she tapped the end of the pen idly against the oaken surface. When she finally thought of something to write, she lifted her pen, only to be disrupted by her dad screaming at her mom in the other room. She acknowledged it just by glancing to her door to make sure it was locked. And it was. Judging from her dad's yelling, it sounded like he was accusing her mother of cheating with another man. Just because she was a half an hour later than she said she'd be home.

Could he blame her?

Rinoa couldn't blame her mother if she did cheat on her dad. All he ever seemed to do was put her down and give her a days worth of headaches. She already had her job to do that for her. A sigh escaped her lips as she dropped her pen on the notebook before removing herself from her seat. Walking towards her window, she opened it, a gust of spring air welcomed her just as soon as she did that. Pulling herself upwards, she turned around so she could look straight up at the roof. Letting out another sigh, she reached up and grabbed unto the roof's ledge. This wouldn't have been easy if her room was on the first floor.

Maybe they'll be better off without me?

The thought crossed her mind as she remembered her dad saying that everything would be different if they didn't have a kid. She knew she wasn't meant to hear it... But it was kind of hard not to when it was being yelled to her mom. Her mom agreed with him. Whether it was out of fear or if it was true, it still felt like someone had just stabbed her heart a million times with a knife. She was ten, but she wasn't stupid. Are all parents so ignorant that they think their children won't get it? Kids are underestimated just because they weren't adults. It was funny considering she's seen adults more immature than a seven year old.

Heaving herself up unto the roof, she stood up and turned herself around to look out at the back yard. It was prettily decorated with flowers her mother had planted a couple years ago. Gardening was one of her favorite past-times when she needed to just sort out her thoughts and distract herself from her short-tempered husband. Her chocolate brown irises dropped to look down at the pavement below. The light in her eyes dimmed as she briefly wondered what it would feel like to hit the pavement from jumping off the roof. Subconsciously, her fingers flexed before curling into a fist. The wind made the idea even more inviting.

Was it bad that she was already seeking for ways to escape this world and into the next?

Anything could be better than this, right?

Her chocolate brown irises slid closed as she rehearsed a small prayer. Though she hadn't witnessed the 'miracle' of praying yet, she still did it in hopes that she'd become one of the lucky ones. The lucky one's who are able to have God's attention. Opening her eyes, she lifted them to the cloudless sky, spotting a dove fly over her and land on the chimney that belonged to her house. A soft smile formed on her lips as she recalled the reputation that the Dove upheld. They symbolize purity and hope. Maybe that was a sign that she was doing the right thing? Maybe she never belonged to this world, and belonged to another?

Closing her eyes again, she turned her head so it was facing her backyard once again. A sigh escaped as she pushed herself forward with her heels. When she let herself drop from the rooftop, she felt a strong sense of freedom. The wind made her feel so free. But when she took in the sight of the oncoming pavement, she suddenly wanted to be back on that roof.

Without a further thought, the world went black.

Rinoa turned in her sleep, only to roll out of bed and have the wooden floor greet her with a small headache. A groan escaped her lips as she pulled herself up from the wooden floor. A stranger's laugh caught her immediate attention. Whipping her head around to find the source, she narrowed her eyes when she spotted Roxas sitting on top of her computer desk.

"Looks like you had a bad dream. Wanna talk about it?"

A soft growl rumbled from her throat as she quickly grabbed one of the pillows off her bed and chucked it at Roxas' head. The blonde made a soft sound that resembled a squeak with surprise. He tried to block the oncoming pillow by catching but failed by losing his balance and falling to the floor.

"Fuck... You aren't a morning person are you?"

"What the hell are you doing in my room? Get out of here!"

"I'm here to see your dad."

Rinoa was about to reach for another pillow to toss at him, but stopped herself short. 'My dad?' She thought to herself and immediately wanted to push her dad off a cliff for letting his clients roam the house so freely. Seriously... They could steal something or something like that...

"Well, just so you know. My dad's surprisingly happily married. So I don't think you have any reason to see him."

"Are you calling me gay?"

"Are you?"

"... Five percent."

Roxas pushed himself into sitting position before standing upright, looking to Rinoa with an amused look. A short laugh escaped his lips when he noticed the quizzical expression on her face.

"I kissed a boy. Sue me."

"You like who you like. It's not my business." Rinoa mumbled with an eye-roll before walking over to him and she started to shove him towards the door.

"H-hey! Wait! I have a question!" He said quickly just as Rinoa had shoved him out the door. He turned so he could face her, a smile formed on his lips when she waited at the door way.

"What's your question?"

"Bottom or top?" Roxas asked, masking his urge to laugh with a straight face.

The door slammed right into his nose.

~Evelyn~