8. What Do I Look Like? The Wizard Of OZ?

You Need A Heart? Go Ahead.

Take Mine.

Raeleigh

I waited for Jacob's awkward stiffness to unwind. It never did; he continued to stand so still with his arms wrapped around me like he was having difficulties letting go.

I was worried, of course. This wasn't his normal behavior.

It was obvious that Bella's presence alone was the main cause of his odd behavior, the distortion of his fist, and the dried blood on his tattered jean shorts. Every time she spoke, his hands - which were wrapped around mine - balled into tight fists. It was quite clear, judging by the look on his face that he hadn't wanted to respond to her inquiries, either, but he acknowledged what she had to say, anyhow. It was as if he couldn't escape her, escape the aching pain in his chest. I tried not to think about it, but it'd become too inevitable.

He looked down at me and I watched as his face clouded over. "You've been quiet. What's wrong, Ro?"

"Nothing is wrong with me," I grunted simply and eyed him a little. He caught on quicker than I anticipated and nodded slightly. "What happened upstairs?"

"Nothing," he responded almost too quickly. I pulled away from his as-good-as-a-furnace embrace and crossed my arms. Jacob, apparently, didn't like the reminder; the pain in his eyes gave proof to that as they narrowed at me. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I do," I told him. Stubbornness. A trait I inherited from my father. I carry it well, if you ask me. "I'm sick and tired of you being too quiet, Jake. When're you going to finally get it through your thick skull that I give a-"

"Who fancies a game of football?" Jasper interrupted as he entered the room with said football in hand. I suddenly felt really calm, and I think Jacob did too. He eyed us for a second later before heading toward the front entrance. Jacob sighed heavily and started toward the door, but I pulled him back toward me.

We eyed each other for what seemed like forever. I opened my mouth to speak but was, again, interrupted but by Paul this time. "Jake…dude…" he called out as he stalked out of the kitchen. He stopped behind Jacob and massaged his shoulders, trying to pull him out of his funk. "C'mon, let's go." He looked at me and winked before sprinting out the door, his shirt already halfway over his head.

Since when did a game of football require less clothing?

"Jake!" Paul called, more impatiently now. I fought back the chuckle rising in my throat. "Dude, c'mon! I'm getting old here!"

With his eyes now closed tightly, Jacob exhaled deeply as he tried to control the tiny tremors in his fists. When they stopped, he opened his eyes and found me staring up at him. "Raeleigh-"

"You should go," I interrupted in a grumble. "You know, before Paul has a heatstroke or something," I finished, referring to Paul's hot-headedness.

He stood there for a second before letting his body slump like he'd given up. "Right." He didn't argue. Instead, he just shoved his hands into the pockets of his jean shorts and shrugged his way through the front door, with me tailing slowly behind him.

The gray afternoon had slid toward a darker, more depressing evening. The wind intensified, bringing the rain so cold that it turned to ice that stuck to whatever it touched. I wasn't surprised really. The weather was as it usually is - inevitable. My face met the icy blast straight on, and the frozen crystals stung my face, making the bones beneath the flesh ache.

But pain was good. Pain was real. It lets you know you're still alive, which cut through the roiling, colorless nothingness that stuffed my head. The same pain I've tried escaping, only to make me realize why I was here. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. It was clear in his eyes. I didn't know how to help him, but I knew I had to try, because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.

I watched in fascination as Sam struggled to keep the guys in order, to usher them into their proper positions. To me, it was just an ordinary football game in somebody's backyard. But to them, it seemed like something much more thrilling. When I focused on the Cullens' team, I noticed that they too looked very serious. They looked like they were having a serious conversation, with the occasion head-nod from the other players. But I noticed it was, just like the Quileutes, something more than just a friendly game.

"Paul!" Sam shouted, catching my attention instantly. I looked over and watched as Sam, very firmly, demanded for Paul to keep beside him. Paul did so, but with a small roll of his eyes and a heavy sigh. Embry then approached Sam, tapping his shoulder. He looked confused about something. "No, Embry. You're on my left side. Paul's on the right." Then he looked relieved. "Seth…could you, for one second, leave the damn ball alone? We're not ready yet."

I watched as Jake strode over to them when Sam called his name, his back to me and his hands had left his pockets. Now, he just looked out of place, awkward. I hated to see him so down. "Ten on the Quileute's," I murmured to Bella, but kept my eye on Jacob. From my peripheral, I saw Bella turn to me and grin in agreement to the bet. I looked back toward Jake; he was now standing in position at the left side of the field, all the guys surrounding him in a huddle. He looked back toward me and waved, his mouth turning up in a half smile. Hopefully that meant that he was happy again.

"We'll go two quarters, with a ten-second half-time," Jasper began laying out the rules, in a clear, slightly musical tone.

The game started and I watched anxiously from my spot on the sideline - sitting at the edge of the porch - cheering Jacob on whenever he stole the ball. He was fast - faster than I remember - and he shot across the yard and toward the makeshift pole Sam used to form a goal. When he made the touchdown, Jacob threw the ball into the ground and raised both hands into the air. Paul and Jared shouted 'Touchdown!' and cheered along with the rest of the team. When Jacob looked up at me, he smiled - his white teeth gleaming, despite the gloominess of the evening - and winked.

I winked back, now that I could see his aura brightening up a little more as time passed. Bella noticed it too. Her cheeks burned brightly against her pale skin as she saw the smile Jacob shared with me. My smile. A smile that might have been once hers. I didn't let it bother me, though. I couldn't let it bother me. She was married. The huge ring that practically hid her entire ring-finger gave proof to that.

As the game continued on, I noticed how much more fierce the players on both teams became, like I'd noticed them during their preparations. They tackled into one another roughly, receiving a loud grunting noise on impact. Even the pretty blond, Rosalie, participated in the ridiculous behavior. Carlisle and Esme seemed to always help one another - whether it be tackling the opposing team's player, or stealing the ball for a touchdown.

As the clock wound down, the two teams got into position on either side of the ball. My teeth sank into my lip as I watched the clock tick down to ten seconds remaining. "Down... Set... Hike," Sam called. Paul hiked him the ball and immediately stood up to prevent Emmet from sacking Sam before he could snap the ball off. I flinched for half a second as I caught Carlisle and Esme double-team Quil, but my attention was quickly focused on the ball as Sam heaved it out of his hand in a Hail Mary pass. My eyes scanned the field for possible receivers, and I cheered as I saw Jacob's eyes focus on the spiraling pigskin.

Bella and I danced in our seats as we watched Jacob and Edward race to catch the ball that still soared through the air. Edward was in the lead and he seemed most likely to make the interception, but Jacob lowered his shoulder, ramming Edward out of the way as he reached up and plucked the ball from the air just above Edward's head. In less than a second, the ball was tucked under his arm as he barreled his way toward the end zone. I watched as Paul finished knocking Edward to the ground as Jacob danced into the end zone, spiking the ball so hard it seemed like it had just been buried and forgotten. Paul, Quil, Embry, Jared, Seth, and Sam all slammed into Jacob, cutting his dance of celebration short.

I rose immediately to hobble as fast as I could manage toward the mound of Quileutes. "C'mon, guys. Let him up," I demanded in a playful laugh.

They peeled themselves apart until Jacob was finally able to stand up. As soon as he saw me, he approached me with open arms for a hug, and before I could take another step toward him to oblige, he rushed forward, lifted me and squeezed, with his arms wrapped around me like vises. Air whooshed out of my lungs, and as soon as he heard the low gurgle in the back of my throat, he loosened his grip immediately. Air rushed down my throat and into my lungs as I gulped in a few mouthfuls through my wide grin. "Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know!" I yelled. Jacob just laughed in return and pulled me into another hug, but made sure it wasn't as tight as before.

When he set me down a few minutes later, I took a step back and assessed how ruined my clothes now were. I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes back up at Jacob, catching him trying to stifle the laugh that burst out of his lungs as soon as he realized I'd caught him. As my own smile returned to my face, I realized that I couldn't stand being mad at Jacob after seeing him this way - truly and completely happy.

After a few silent heartbeats, I watched as Jacob's smile slowly grew wider and I chuckled lightly to myself at his new expression. There was no doubt that I enjoyed this side of Jacob, but it was almost more than I could handle. What, exactly, was the cause of this new found contentment? He took both of my cold hands in his and rubbed them gently. As he looked down at me, I noticed that there was something in his expression that I hadn't noticed before. Hope, perhaps?

"Take a walk with me."

I hesitated at first, not really knowing what he was up to. Biting my lip in thought, I glanced back at the house and watched as everyone preoccupied themselves. Of course they'd be too busy, too distracted to even notice our sudden absence, I thought to myself.

"Wait up. My legs aren't as long as yours," I called out.

Jacob's stride broke immediately, skidding to a halt with his shoes gouging furrows in the mud. When I caught up to him, he scooped me up, cradled me in his arms and continued east. I kept my eyes on him, trying to study him.

"What're you thinking about?" I asked, after a long, quiet time.

Jacob's lips twitched, fighting another wider smile, but his attempt failed. My face mimicked his, as it was becoming a little contagious.

"Would I be wrong to say that my thoughts are of you?" he asked. I remained silent, a little shocked at his response; something I wasn't expecting at all in return. He glanced over at me and laughed shyly before biting his lip in thought.

Jacob was thinking about me? Why? Was I the cause of his sudden, new-found contentment? The creases between my eyebrows deepened as I rested my body against his warm chest, trying to make sense of it all.

"Thinking about you is a little easier on my heart than it is when I think about Bella. It just hurts a lot less."

I could understand why he of all people would feel that way. Bella was married. There was no question that she loved her Edward - past the borderline of sanity, mind you - so why was she so damn thrilled to see Jacob? Like he'd made her whole freaking day just waltzing through the door.

We ended up on the beach again, wandering aimlessly for a little while before stopping at a huge piece of driftwood. Jacob gently set me down on the natural bench and leaned against the fallen tree, keeping his arm loosely around me for warmth. Rain started to fall a little harder now and I blinked furiously as the drops pelted on my face. Jacob wore no shirt, as usual; the rain had washed the dried blood from his jean shorts, and dripped through his long, black hair which was then matted to his skin. His face was now expressionless as he waited silently, staring off into the distance, seemingly unable to express what he'd wanted to say next.

Then he was suddenly on his feet, and I watched as he leaned forward and grabbed a few of the unique colored, smooth stones and rolled them around in his supernaturally large hands. He was still for a moment, his eyes focused on the crashing waves and then he reared back and launched one stone at a time into the water, making a grunting noise with each heave. Four out of five stones made it in. I smiled at his mostly-successful attempt but the smile faded as soon as it had formed when I noticed he wasn't smiling. He came back to the fallen driftwood tree and leaned against it again, wrapping his arm around me once more.

I felt oddly buoyant as I sat comfortably on the huge piece of driftwood, and it wasn't because I had the most perfect guy holding me gently while I lay comfortably, nuzzled against his frame, though that was certainly part of it. Maybe it was the knowledge that my despair was served and I was a free woman again.

Or maybe it wasn't anything to do with me specifically. Maybe it was something entirely different, the atmosphere, perhaps. Whatever the reason…I enjoyed it. A lot.

But there was still something about him that made me a little uneasy, worried even. He was stiff, just like earlier, with his heart pounding a little too hard, too fast for my comfort. I assumed he was nervous about something…but what could he possibly be nervous about? Biting my lip in thought, I glanced up at Jacob and considered asking him about his returned awkwardness, but I didn't want to pry. He'd already been through so much…

"R-" He broke off suddenly, his mouth open, almost like something had cut off his air. Then he sucked in a deep breath.

I laid still in his arms for a moment, waiting for him to continue, but when he remained silent, I sat up and looked over at him. His cheeks burned brightly as he faced the other direction, avoiding my gaze. So he was shy…

"Raeleigh..." he whispered after a moment. His voice was so low that I had to lean a few inches closer in order to hear him. His breathing was uneven; whatever he was trying to do, it was so difficult he was practically panting.

I took his face in my hands, his face warmer than usual, so he was looking at me now. "Jake, just say it. It's okay," I told him and caressed his face gently.

But he didn't say anything at all. Instead, he remained silent, just staring me in the eye, like he was trying to tell me everything he'd ever wanted to. His eyes scanned my face after a short moment, as if he were looking for an answer to a question he had brewed inside his cluttered mind. He took my face in his enormous, too-warm hands and held it just a few inches from his and rested his forehead on mine. His body slumped like he'd given up and sighed softly - his breath was as hot as his skin.

I ran my cool hands behind his neck and down his back a little. Jacob smiled, just a small change in the set of his mouth, and closed his eyes.

"Jake…" I started was but was stopped when Jacob did something unexpected. Something that should have infuriated me. But it didn't. Leaning in, Jacob brushed his too warm lips against mine…

And kissed me.