Tuesday – 16 days before the murder

And when I close my eyes tonight

To symphonies of blinding light

(God bless us everyone

Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns?)

Like memories in cold decay

Transmissions echoing away

Far from the world that you and I

Where oceans bleed into the sky

- The Catalyst Linkin Park

Act 1. KENNY

My mother yelled outside the door to my bedroom. The door was locked, and I was sitting on my bed. I know she wanted me to go to school for my own good, but I just couldn't. To tell the truth; I was more scared of Butters than my mother at this moment.

Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? I'm scared of Butters!

I fell down on my back when I heard how my mother walked away outside my room. My back hurt for a I reason I couldn't explain, and thoughts about how I'm going to make myself out of this situation running through my mind.

It is times like this I wish I had someone to talk to, but I was all alone.

But I was used to that feeling, I could handle it on my own. I had to handle it on my own, or else anything could happen.

Maybe I should go over to Pip's house and try to apologize? No, bad idea. He wouldn't even open the door for me.

One thing is for sure; I'm not talking to Butters about it. I'm pretty sure it will end up like it did last time. All I could think about at that moment was that I had to avoid Butters as much as possible. If he catches me in a corner, I'm screwed.

I heard a loud bang on the door and my father yelled outside, commanding me to open the locked door and explain why I was home and not in school. Even though I knew they didn't see me, I shook my head and turned so I was lying on my side, staring at the door, which was vibrating of all the bangs my father made with his fist on the other side.

If they knew me better, they would have known that I didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment. But they really had no time to get to know me.

My father gave up on the other side of the door, I heard him walk away, and I heard how my mother went after him, blaming him for not making me open the door. I sighed and turned around. Why did they always have to fight? If things don't work between you, just divorce so we kids don't need to hear your World war III anymore.

I shook my head, bend over the bed and pulled out my secret box form under there. I needed to clam myself, and the only thing that could calm me down is some nice porno. I don't usually jack off, to be honest, but when I feel stressed and can't focus my mind, I do it.

My touch is hard and slow, and my eyes noticed every detail I needed to know on the unmoving pictures, and soon my imagination begun.

It's gonna be a long night.

Act 2. KYLE

Even though Stan and I were together now, we did not just do those lovely-dovely things, like making out or giving each other pet-names, no, we did the same things as we did when we were "just" super best friends. We played video-games, we watched movies and TV-shows, we kissed, we went to some close by stores, we helped each other with homework, we kissed, we talked, we kissed, and we kissed, kissed and kissed.

I was totally obsessed with Stan. A big part of me didn't want to let him go when he had to go home for dinner. I walked with him half the way, just to have his company a little longer, just a little longer. When we knew no one was watching us we held hands, squeezing tightly.

We walked in silence, which was really nice. I had always felt that even if we were both quite, we still could enjoy our company. We didn't need to talk about anything, we felt comfortable with each other either way.

I smiled to myself, looking down on my feet as we walked.

Suddenly he stopped under the streetlight. It was time for us to split.

We looked into each other's eyes, still holding hands. He slowly let go, letting the hand fall to his side.

One last good bye kiss, one last hug, one last see you tomorrow.

As I started to walk back, I looked over the shoulders uncountable times, just wishing that the night wouldn't be so long.

Act 3. STAN

At the same time I miss Kyle right after we split up I couldn't help but feel relieved when my stomach finally calmed down. It was hard being around him, I never dared taking the first step to touch him, not after what happened in the school bathroom. My stomach was always worried when I was around him, especially when we got too close.

When I got home the dinner was already finished, so it was just to eat. I ate fast, and mom asked me about homework, and I said I finished them at Kyle's. She asked me to take out all used glasses and plates from my room that I had collected during the past few days, so I did as she said and took it all down so she could put them in the dishwasher.

And with that done, I had nothing to do.

It was too early to go to bed, dad had taken over the TV and all my video-games were still over at Kyle's. Sure there are many things to do, but what do you do when they're not enough?

By that time I started to wonder; was my life always this boring without Kyle around?

Act 4. CARTMAN

Sometimes I hate my mother. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I wish I never had a mother that could cook like an angel.

When I sat by the table that evening, I felt like I couldn't hold myself back. Everything about it was great, and my mother enjoyed seeing me eating with appetite. She has done that for years now, it's all she can do for me.

She was not able to help me with homework, and she did not have the best social skills, she does her best to help me out, even if it doesn't work all the time.

Afterwards I just want to scream at her, at myself, at everything. I was the one who wanted to change. I ruined it after just one day.

I closed the bedroom door behind me, slamming my fist against the pillow on my bed. Swearing in my head, pressing my teeth hard against each other. My mother never noticed my behavior.

Was I really doomed to fail at every little thing I was trying to do? I have had many great plans and ideas in my life, but how many of them had turned out to be exact as I wanted? I can't remember anytime.

I left my bedroom and headed to the bathroom. I locked myself in and turned towards the mirror. I stared for a few minutes which seemed to be a long time, but I did make up my mind. I'm not going to give up just because of this one time.

I, Eric Cartman, is not going to give up this little task.

Short chapter, I'm sorry. I'm really busy at school and having problems with friends, but it fine!

In the next chapter something is going to happen! I have already started on it, so please wait for it!