Disclaimer: Dow'ning CM. And quite a few things more.
Author's note: Aaaaah! Less gloomyness! I made some assumptions on behalf of Jessica Brooks, if I'm wrong or anything, please let me know. I only know she's a good cook...
Reid was restless. He kept moving around the plane preventing everybody from getting a moment of peace and quiet. He sighed heavily as he settled next to Prentiss.
"Can this plane go any faster?" he complained and pouted. Prentiss looked at him with suspicion in his eyes.
Oh oh!
"You in a hurry?"
"No – not really," Reid said uncomfortably. He shifted in the seat as Prentiss gave him an inquiring look. It caught Morgan's attention.
"I definitely think our little genius is quite eager to land. Why in such a rush Pretty Boy?"
Reid murmured under his breath.
"I couldn't hear that. Speak up Kid!"
"I have a date!"
Morgan and Prentiss looked at him with astonished faces.
"I should've kept quit..."
As the two predators started attacking the young genius with questions Rossi turned to face Hotch.
"You are aware of what that means, right?" Hotch looked at him blankly.
"That Reid's finally getting some action?" Morgan roared with laughter at Hotch's comment. Prentiss turned to face the team supervisor.
"That means you're next." Morgan smiled smugly at the pokerface in front of him.
"We have been bugging Reid for years. But now, suddenly you are the only one without a love life." He stopped and turned to face Prentiss. "Or is he?" She smiled back at him and winked.
Morgan grinned at her and turned to face Hotch again.
"You gotta get back in the Game, man!" Hotch lifted his eyebrows in what he hoped was a 'get over yourself and move on'-manner and looked down on the paperwork in his lap.
"He's right." Rossi just wouldn't let it go. "A man needs a woman to keep him company in all the long cold nights." Prentiss shot him a glare. "And besides Jack needs a mother-figure," she added.
"He has Jessica.," Hotch said to the papers.
"Jessica isn't exactly a mother-figure," Rossi said and looked at the other agents. "She's more of a fun aunt." The agents nodded.
"Did you know, that less than 1 % of all single fathers are widowed?" Prentiss gave Reid a small push and a 'shut up'-look.
"Anyway," she said. "Jack needs a mother figure of his own."
"Even if I wanted to find Jack a new mother, which I don't, I haven't dated since high school. So there's not much of a chance for me." Hotch gave all his fellow agents a stern look.
"It's really not that hard. You ask her out. She says yes. You take her to dinner and then you take her home." Rossi shrugged. "Done deal."
"Let me rephrase my point: I haven't asked anybody on a date besides Haley since high school."
"It's actually not that hard. Asking girls on dates is much like golf. You hit the ball and hope the conditions are in your favor." Prentiss was about to shove Reid again but stopped herself. "He's actually right," she said with an astonished look to Morgan. He shrugged. "Then I suppose you could compare the actual date to a game of football." Rossi looked at him questionable.
"You try to get past her defense so you can score." He grinned.
"That's gross!" Prentiss exclaimed and pushed him. She looked at Hotch. "Reid's right, Morgan is not." She smiled. "Find a sweet girl..."
"Woman."
"Shut up Rossi. Find a sweet woman..."
"Sweet woman sounds weird."
"You shut up too Reid!"
"But it does! Kind or gentile woman sounds more grown-up. If you say sweet it sounds like you talk about the way she tastes."
Prentiss sighed.
"Find a woman you like," she shot Reid an angry glare. "Smile to her. If she smiles back, invite her out."
Hotch looked at her frowning.
"It's that easy?"
"Yes it is."
"That's actually not true." Reid interjected. "It involves a lot of perspiration and stuttering too. At least on my part." Prentiss looked at the puppy-eyed agent at nuzzled his hair. "You're hopeless."
"What you all don't know, is that Hotch already found a... gentile woman." He gave Reid an amused look.
"What? Who?" Morgan wanted to know.
"Hotch isn't much of a party person, so it's probably someone from work or Jack's kindergarten."
"You fancy one at the office?" Morgan said, remembering his kindergarten teachers.
"Is it agent Flemons from 4th floor?"
"What do you think Strauss would think about that?"
"Do you think she's something for Jack?"
"Remember what I said, man. Be careful around women with guns!"
"Hey! Be polite!"
"Calm down." Hotch sighed and closed his eyes. Therefore he didn't see the shocked looks on the agents faces.
"There is no woman and there will be no woman." He opened his eyes and looked at all the faces surrounding him. "And if – and that's a BIG if – there would ever happen to be a woman, you certainly would be the last ones to know."
Morgan, Prentiss, Reid and Rossi was still in the office when Hotch hurried past them on his way home.
"Do you think there's a woman?" Reid asked no one in particular.
"Oh yes!"
"Definitely"
"Did you see his reaction? That was not the behavior of an innocent man!"
Reid looked at his wrist watch. He had missed his date by half an hour, but luckily she had agreed to reschedule.
"I thought so."